He Wasn't
I'm so tired of remembering him. Why can't my goddamn brain just leave me the fuck alone? I get it, I fucking get it already. I don't even know if I miss him anymore. I don't know if I see him as a friend. I don't know if we were even close. And I hate that. I hate that because I feel betrayed. I feel like I trusted someone i shouldn't've trusted. And it hurts. It hurts that I trusted him. It hurts that I don't know if I should've trusted him. It hurts that I don't even know if he was a good person.
And it hurts most of all that I wasn't grieving him. I was grieving the person I thought he was.