Symptoms I've had:
- Constant high anxiety
- Constant questioning and rumination
- Wondering what attraction is
- Wondering if I was really in love or if I just believed it
- Fear of never having been in love (although I have been several times)
- Fear that my attractions to girls are not attractions
- Wondering how gays know they're gay
- Wondering what denial is
- Fear of being in denial
- Making lapses in my head
- Erectile dysfunction
- Constant intrusive thoughts/images
- Impression of erections on gay things
- Make scenarios in my head and compare if it's better with a man or a woman
- Constant reinsurance request (googler to find similar stories)
- Feeling gay
- Fear of going gay later
- Testing on people (on the bus, I was wondering if I found guys attractive for example)
- Impression of finding all the guys handsome (whereas before OCD, I never found a guy handsome...)
- Feeling in the mouth
I've overcome all this, there are only a few things left that I think are the worst (knowing I don't have any anxiety)
- Loss of aesthetic attraction towards the opposite sex (I no longer find many women beautiful and I miss it so much...)
- Fear that the attraction will never return as before
- Fear that the two things above are not OCD.
I've always fallen in love with girls, I've always found pretty, attractive girls, wanted to be in a relationship with them, found the woman of my life, looked at pretty girls, I've always fantasized about them, I've never found an attractive guy in my life (except for the effects of the OCD)