117) Chapter 18. No? (3)
If you really insist on categorizing it, I guess I’m a loser too.
But still, I do have quite a few friends.
Look. I have Soi and Chae‑yi, and I even became friends with Hyeonji recently.
Of course, Soi is just a kid who happened to end up living in the same house by luck, and she liked me from the beginning simply because she has such a good personality.
But friendships are usually formed like that, aren’t they? Rather than friends you meet as an adult at work or in a club because you share similar interests, the friend who just happened to sit in the seat in front of you at school often ends up being the one who stays close the longest.
If you think about it that way, Chae‑yi is the same. We met back in kindergarten, so she’s basically someone I happened to be in the same place with a long time ago.
But still, Chae‑yi is someone I followed around first, and that’s how we became friends. I don’t really want to drag that incident back up, but anyway, the point is that I approached her first and we’re still friends, so I guess that counts as my own ability in a way.
As for Hyeonji, we just happened to end up in the same dorm and naturally got close, so that’s just a normal friendship.
Nam Jinwoo is…
Hmm, she’s a bit unusual.
Even if I had a purpose, she’s still someone I deliberately approached to become friends with.
Honestly, at first I didn’t even plan on becoming real friends, but somehow she ended up following us around at school all the time.
Even Soi and Chae‑yi, who were overly wary of her at first, seem to have realized she’s not that dangerous anymore.
And Nam Jinwoo, well…
She’s even more of a loser than I am.
Well, thinking about it, she kind of has no choice. A girl who always cross‑dresses as a boy wouldn’t be able to casually make friends out of fear.
What would she even do if someone suggested going to the beach during summer vacation?
“……”
Huh.
But I’m pretty sure the novel definitely had a summer beach episode.
The heroines clung to her all over the place. And Nam Jinwoo was ridiculously flustered because of it.
She did wear a T‑shirt over her swimsuit because she was embarrassed, but still, wouldn’t it cling when wet?
No way?
“Um, hey.”
“Yeah?”
My imagination was starting to drift into a vaguely dangerous direction, and the very subject of that imagination—Nam Jinwoo—suddenly spoke to me, making me flinch.
“What is it?”
“Um, well…”
She hesitated so much after starting the conversation that it was almost frustrating.
“What? What’s wrong?”
I stutter in front of other kids because I get scared, but I almost never do that in front of Nam Jinwoo.
If she were actually a guy, things might be different. No, it’s not even about gender—if she ended up with one of the other heroines, that would be a problem.
It’s much easier for Soi or Chae‑yi to end up with Nam Jinwoo, and more importantly, if I said something wrong in front of the guy who’s supposed to end up with the amazing heroines, it might look like I’m bullying him, and then I’d end up being “taught a lesson.”
I wouldn’t care if it were just me, but Soi and Chae‑yi might jump in to help me and get dragged into that “lesson” too.
“Um, earlier…”
“Yeah?”
Her voice was so quiet I leaned in a little.
“What you said earlier…”
“Earlier? When?”
“L‑lunchtime.”
“Lunchtime?”
If you’re going to talk, can’t you just say it clearly?
But the reason I’m patient is because there’s still a chance—however tiny—that Nam Jinwoo might return to her original “male protagonist” position.
I mean, there’s a very, very, very small chance she might actually be a guy, right? I’d have to think about whether a guy who wraps his chest in bandages should still be treated as a guy, but still.
And even if she’s not a guy, well…
In the original, she ended up forming a harem. Meaning, Nam Jinwoo didn’t really care if the other person was a girl. She’d agonize over it a lot, sure, but still.
So even if she seems easy to push around, “bullying” her is a bit much.
“T‑the, the hugging thing.”
“Oh, that.”
I let out a long sigh and looked away.
Nam Jinwoo and I were sitting side by side.
Normally, Soi and Chae‑yi would never allow that, but the situation is a bit different right now.
“No, I mean—”
“That’s not what I meant?”
“……”
A little distance away, Chae‑yi and Soi were arguing.
But their voices weren’t loud. They were whispering so I wouldn’t hear, but from the bits I caught, it seemed like a continuation of their lunchtime fight.
Didn’t they already decide the order? What’s left to fight about?
Hyeonji had been dragged along by them and was staring blankly up at the sky. Apparently she’s the “person concerned.”
What on earth are they deciding that they can’t even pay attention to their surroundings?
So in the meantime, Nam Jinwoo—who would normally sit far away from me—slipped over to my side to ask.
“It’s probably not what you’re thinking.”
“H‑huh? W‑what do you mean, what I’m thinking?”
“No.”
I stopped mid‑sentence when I realized I’d slipped.
That’s what happens when I get too comfortable around Nam Jinwoo.
She’s dressed as a boy on the outside.
Now that I’m aware of it, she doesn’t look like a boy at all, but still, the uniform is a male student uniform.
“……First, shall I ask about what you are thinking?”
“T‑that, um, hugging…”
Well, fine.
At least she’s a girl with common sense.
…Though I’m not sure what “a girl with common sense” even means, but anyway.
“Why? Do you want me to hug you too?”
At my question, Nam Jinwoo pressed her lips tightly together.
Her face turned bright red.
“U‑um, well…”
She continued speaking as if making excuses.
“I‑I just… it’s been a long time since I hugged anyone.”
“…Really?”
I didn’t know how to respond.
I thought back to my previous life. Had I hugged anyone at this age?
I didn’t have a girlfriend, and while I might have put my arm around a friend’s shoulder, I never hugged them.
But my mom had hugged me. I don’t remember exactly when or why, but usually when I couldn’t come home for a few days—like after a school trip—she hugged me.
Even after that. At graduation, or on Parents’ Day, or on my birthday.
In a normal family with caring parents, hugging your parents isn’t that difficult. And once you’re an adult and things get a bit awkward, they’d probably be even happier if you suggested hugging.
But for her, that’s not the case.
“Why? At home?”
I didn’t have the skill to ask subtly, so I just asked directly.
Then—
“M‑my mom… she’s busy.”
She said it like she was making a pathetic excuse.
Is she really just busy?
Is that all?
What kind of reason would a girl have to cross‑dress all the time?
No matter how I think about it, it can’t be something normal. At the very least, it must be something she absolutely can’t let others find out.
“……”
And more importantly—why is she telling me this?
Why is she saying this only when Soi and Chae‑yi aren’t around?
In the original…
In the original, this would be after she already had one or two heroines.
She’d trip and fall onto a heroine, or a heroine who already had a crush on her would subtly lean on her.
But because Nam Jinwoo got close to me, all those opportunities disappeared completely.
If this is my fault, then I guess it is.
If things had gone according to the original, she would’ve been brushing up against the heroines and easing the loneliness she originally felt.
“……”
No, thinking about it that way just makes me angry.
So originally he was living a very happy life surrounded by girls.
I’m living a similar life too, but I’m a girl, so romance is completely off the table.
But still… I feel kind of bad for her…
If she were a guy, I wouldn’t even consider this for a second, but here, Nam Jinwoo is a girl.
“…So, are you asking me to hug you?”
“H‑huh? N‑no, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then why? There must be a reason you’re saying this.”
“N‑no, it’s just… b‑because we’re friends.”
Her face was bright red, and she still sounded like she was making excuses.
She couldn’t say it openly like Soi or Chae‑yi. She couldn’t even hear my suggestion like Hyeonji.
Watching her speak like she was begging made my heart ache a little.
…If she would just stop cross‑dressing and reveal she’s a girl, none of this would be a problem.
But she’s already lived as a boy for so long that she can’t do that now.
I glanced over again.
In that short time, none of the three were looking this way.
What should I do?
After thinking for a moment, I reached out my hand.
No matter what, offering my chest would be weird. She’s still cross‑dressing. It might even reveal that I’ve figured it out.
But a light touch should be fine, right?
I placed my hand on Nam Jinwoo’s waist.
…She really is thin. I don’t know if that’s just because I’m thinking of her as a girl.
I pulled her close to my side, gave a slight squeeze with my arm, then let go.
Nam Jinwoo jumped away in shock.
“……”
“……”
She didn’t say anything, so after a moment of silence—
“How was it?”
“H‑huh? O‑oh. Yeah.”
What kind of reaction is that.
Was it too short?
But before I could finish thinking, Soi and Chae‑yi finished their conversation and came toward me, so it was probably a good thing I didn’t make it any longer.