rant from over the school year and still adding onto it when im bored
I don’t want to do homework so I’m gonna write about something instead. In the 2000’s there was a company called Angel Creations. A company that made games. They weren’t as popular as they would eventually come to be. Later on they renamed themselves to Rockstar Games before this though they thought about and developed a game under Capcom's funding. The game was named Red Dead Revolver and when they released it, it didn’t do as well as they wanted. In 2010, they tried again and released Red Dead Redemption, and it did incredible. It changed a whole generation of gaming. The game was western themed, and that wasn't a super popular theme for the gaming world back then. Now, even, it’s not too much of a popular game theme. Red Dead Redemption follows a man named John Marston. A bounty hunter who tried to forget about his past before it caught up to him. John Marston is the husband of Abigail Roberts (surname), and the father of Jack Marston. (Spoilers for the game ahead.) John has to hunt down old members of his old gang to see his family again. So, in order to save the last pieces of his life, he hunts down Bill Williamson and Javier Escuella. As he goes on months of tracking them down he meets new allies in the process. Some are more trustworthy than others. Once he does he gets a few months of peace with his loving family. But all good things must come to an end, and the government men he was working with betray him. The last thing he does is save his family before he is shot 21 times. The last cutscene we get in the game is Jack Marston grown up, and looking down onto his mother and fathers grave.
This game was a hit. The story game that lots are nostalgic about. Rockstar Games did not let this go unnoticed, and although their pride is Grand Theft Auto, they made a sequel to this game. Red Dead Redemption ll. This was an amazing game. The graphics were amazing. The story is beautiful and the voice acting is even better. The story follows Arthur Morgan, a man who runs in the Vanderlinde gang. Arthur Morgan views the gang as his family. Dutch Vanderlinde and Hosea Matthews taking him in when he was younger. The story follows through Arthur Morgan's perspective as he watches the gang slowly break apart. Through the chapters Arthur begins to realize just how unstable Dutch is. This game has a heart shattering ending and has a great lesson with it.
Even though Red Dead is my favorite game franchise of all time, all story games are the best to me. For example, Resident Evil. One of my favorite action horror games. I love the combat, and the story. The story can get convoluted. In fact, some Resi fans actually believe that after Resident Evil 4 the games kind of lose the raw exterior that made them likeable in the first place. The creators saw this problem and decided to go back to their original path. Resident Evil 7; Biohazard is a reboot of the Resident Evil franchise. Wait why am I so worried about this being professional this isn’t for class???
Resident Evil 0 follows the STARS team. This team includes the members of Edward Dewey; Forest Speyer; Kenneth J. Sullivan; Rebecca Chambers; Richard Aiken. The leader being Enrico Marini. They find the Spencer Mansion. A house that is built on top of the secret lab that is controlled by Umbrella. This game was released under Capcom’s name and did well enough to release the next.
All you really need to know for this to make sense is that Umbrella and Albert Wesker are the antagonists. Protagonists of past games include Rebecca Chambers, Jill Valentine, Carlos Olivera, Leon Kennedy, Chris Redfield, Claire Redfield, Ada Wong, Luis Serra, Ashley Graham, and there are more but to be completely honest I am NOT naming 400 people.
Resi 1 takes place just after Resi 0, they send a lookout team for the STARS crew. (To be a hundid with you I don’t really remember Resi 1 or 0 because I rarely play them.)
Resident Evil 2, takes place in Racoon City. Our protagonists are Leon Scott Kennedy, and Claire Redfiled. In the og RE2, Kennedy is a rookie cop, but sleeps in on his first day because his girlfriend broke up with him the night and he got drunk before. So, he makes his way to the RPD (Racoon Police Department.) In the remake they change it so that the RPD told him not to come in, but he makes his way over there because he can sense something is wrong. There he meets Claire Redfield, looking for her brother, Chris Redfield. Both Claire and Leon go through Racoon city realizing that there's been a T virus outbreak, which turns people into zombies.
Just finished all the RE movies yesterday!!! I am so kewl bruh, but seriously they were actually so good. My favorite was either damnation or vendetta. I am Leon Scott Kennedy in real life by the way. (I’m not, but a guy can dream). I can hear the other band period right now because I’m in ISS, and the office is right next to the band room. I know the song they’re playing because we’re playing it in second period, and I don’t think I’ve ever sucked so BAD. Every time I get mad, or any of that I just remember that at the end of the day I can still sleep in my bed, and it makes me pretty darn tootin happy. My mom and I argue a lot, but at the end of it all, I always go back to my bed in the corner of my room praying hands emoji. I can’t wait to get home since I get to play all my games again. Not that I never could, but my ps3 needed a new cord, and I found one getting litty in here emoji. Plus, my sister, Faith, and I are gonna call after school. I always call with her, if she’s not able to I call Ethan and the others, but usually my sister first. I drew Curly again before lunch. I was bored, and he’s really easy to draw (after the crash) since I don’t have anything to worry about for the face. One eye with some bandages and call it a day. The bell for seventh just rang, and not going to lie, the day went by super quick. Maybe because I was shivering my timbers about home, but either way, I feel alright. Right now I would probably be sitting in Fettes’, in front of Jacob, drinking from my water bottle after filling it up for the first time today. I wonder if they’ll let me fill it up now. They did! And I got a free donut drool emoji. Dr. Nelson said that she’ll find something after, so for now I can just sit here in boredom. Maybe nurse Wendy is doing something. She wasn’t, and I got some really yummy crackers drool emoji. I should finish my little rant about the Resi lore but man those crackers were amazeballs.
This is a punishment, and it felt like it, but at the same time I kinda enjoyed being in here. I had help for work and it wasn’t too hard to ask questions. I didn’t have to talk to people I didn’t like, I didn’t have to deal with fifth period without Cambrie. I actually had a good day? Now this one good day might’ve saved my poor soul bro. I always hated this school, and I’m always going to, but that’s no one's fault except for mine. I can’t blame everything on others, that’s just not how the world works, so at the end of the day, I made a mistake. I have to take ownership of that or else I’m just as bad as my mom can be. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a bad mother. She shows her love, but when she forgets to, it kind of overshadows the love she shows, ya know? I see the mistakes in her that she can’t see in herself, and I can’t help her fix them. She doesn’t want to fix them because, and that’s her choice. So all I can do is try to fix those mistakes for myself, and pray to god that I turn into the person I want to be. At least I know that I have done some good things, even if they’re overshadowed by my mistakes at times, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do them. I just talked with the school counselor, and it was pretty refreshing. Letting someone know how I feel. She agreed, saying that if you look for negative things, you’ll find them. I know that it might seem dumb, but to know that I have a chance to save myself from feeling so miserable is a lot better than always feeling like life is against me. I feel down a lot, and this might make my mood go up a lot more often. I hope that I’ll be able to enjoy the rest of the year here even if my friends are on a whole different team. 2:21, hoping the time passes fast, only 40 minutes left of school. The walk from the bust stop to home is going to be freezing and horrible. Should I run home? I’ll decide later. Oh, and I hope Taylan is okay, that this didn’t affect her at all. I think she’s okay, and she won’t be mad, but that’s only my thoughts.
I wonder if Ethan is going to call after school today. We were supposed to hang out after school last week, but I wasn’t able to. Sophia and I are going to hang out tomorrow after school, if I’m lucky. The only chance I have is if my mom somehow comes home in a good mood. Faith will probably call me after I get off the bus stop, which I am so happy for. Faith is my ride or die, I don’t think I’m always right, but she finds a way to be on my side no matter what
Okayy so I’m in health right now, and we have a sub since Mrs. S is gone today. I don’t want to do work even though I REALLY should. I have 4 F’s, and only TWO good grades. I tried to tell my mom yesterday that it’s all good because unless she pushes for it, or says yes to me staying in 8th. My mom just said “I will.” WHAT?! No way. I swear. My moms never was nice to me when it came to school. I don’t think she wants to be understanding, and I’ve accepted that, but I can NOT handle staying 8th grade. Getting held back would be a living hell. My mom would NEVER let me hear the end of it, my whole family wouldn’t.
Delia came over while I was writing and I didn’t want her to read this. I’m so bored, and I’ve just been drawing all 3rd period. I have lunch after, and I just don’t want to go. No offense to the people at my table, but they aren’t really my type of people. They’re not into my kind of interest, and I’m not saying they aren’t cool. It’s just when they start talking I’m always unincluded. I’m just pointing out that the people I really do connect with are on a different lunch period. Franck is gone today because of his surgery, so it’s been really quiet on the bus, and I hate it. I love Franck’s jokes, so I really miss him getting everyone to talk and play along. He should be back tomorrow. I hope his surgery went well.
Maybe I should start putting the date on this so I know when this all happened. Today is February 4th, 2025. I cannot wait to get home, and play Mafia 2. Right now I’m on chapter 8 I think, so Vito got out of prison and is doing jobs with Joe. So far I’ve been doing well with finishing games, but I really want to get Metal Gear Solid, and Until Dawn. ALSO! Yakuza, and I can get that for like 20 bucks for my ps3 at Last Stop. Man, Ethan and I haven’t hung out in so long. I hope we can before I leave for PR on Friday. I love Ethan, but I think he’s growing a bit tired of me, and since we aren’t at the same school he has no reason to put up with me. I’m gonna ask if I can go to Sophia’s house for dinner sometime soon because we also haven’t hung out for a bit. I can’t wait to go to PR. It might be a nice break since I’ve been really out of it and depressed lately. I love Puerto Rico, but I kinda wish my grandpa took me to Tonga with him. I feel like school is such a cycle. It’s kind of ruining me. I’ve always struggled with school, but this is just bad. 6th grade sucked, 7th was the best year of my life, and 8th sucks. Freshman year better be the best year of my life, or I’m gonna have some problems. Time for lunch, and to sit there wishing my friends had my lunch period.
It's 5th period, so 11:48. It’s the 5th of February, so only 2 more days until I go to Puerto Rico. I feel weirdly sad, and I don’t know why. It might be because I had to miss my meds this morning since I was late. My mom says it shouldn’t affect me too much because it’s only one day. Ugh this teacher told me to get off this doc and do the car thing, but I don’t want to. Man, my grades are so bad right now. At this point I don’t expect my teachers to like me. I know they don’t since I don’t work enough in their class, and I feel bad because I really like all my teachers. I just don’t see the point in it anymore. I got stuff at home, and while it seems like an excuse it really isn’t. I try, and try, but it is always the same outcome. Fail, fail, fail. I’m just not smart no matter what class I’m in. I suck at doing the homework because I’m just pure lazy. I should work on assignments. We have a big final project on Anne Frank in ELA, but I just know there is no point. I actually really enjoy English, but the weird thing is, I suck. I don’t do the work, I don’t even know all my verbs and nouns, I don’t know any prepositional phrases without a chart. I just am not good at it, but it might be my favorite class.
I have health after this class which is admittedly boring, but it’s an easy class to understand. Plus in highschool I won’t have to take the class again because this year health will count for my credit next year, or something like that…
Anyway life is okay still. Same as always. I have this weird problem where I’ve been shaking a lot, and it’s kind of scary. It doesn’t hurt, and Nurse Wendy said it’s probably low blood sugar since I haven’t been eating consistently, but I'm not too worried about it.
Day’s almost done. It’s 2:55, so we only have like 25 minutes of school left. I can’t say it was the best day of my life, but it was okay. Oh, Franck’s back. It’s obvious he won’t be riding the bus after school but I was glad to see him today. I was actually a bit worried about his surgery, but when I saw him online last night I calmed down a bit. He’s in a wheelchair, and all our friends laughed at him, but I’m just glad he’s okay. I’m a bit tired, and can NOT wait to go home. We got 3 minutes until we cleaned up, but I just cleaned up anyway. Once I get home I don't think I’ll work on it at home. I can’t wait to go home.
Feb 6th, 6th period. Hey, 6 and 6! Anyway, we have a sub for Mrs. S which is one I have had multiple times. His name is Mr. O, and he’s actually pretty nice.
Feb 7th! 8:22, and it's the first period. Today is the last day before I go to Puerto Rico. THANK GOD. I cannot wait to be gone in PR. I will miss my room and games, but I’ll just watch gameplay while I’m gone too long.
I’m back. Unfortunately. I had to fill out a highschool form to pick classes, but I have a strong feeling that I won’t be making it to hs. When I get held back I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’m really dumb to be honest, and it’s a big problem. I’m self aware and emotionally smart. I can also be a good writer at times, but how is that going to help me get through school? It doesn’t.
Feb 21. Friyay! I am so happy that it is my last day… until the weekend. I wish that it was my last day of school for the rest of my life, but obviously that isn’t how this works. Today someone told my math teacher that I was on my phone when I WASN'T. Whoever it was flip them 💔. Chamlagai probably thinks I was cheating when in reality I was moving my phone from my computer case to my pocket. “It needs to be in your locker” BRO WHAT 💔 ts is NAWT staying in my locker. I can barely open it. Anyway it’s friday, so that’s the least of my worries. I’m mostly worried about my assignments. My friends want to hang out, but I really need to do my work. Mostly because I made a deal with my teachers that they’ll buy me talkis if I do my work. So yk damn well I’m doing my work 🤤, but it’s nice to know that my teachers don’t think I’m completely dumb. My family does and they have their reasons. I’m kind of tired of this, of always being scared that this is the year I’ll be held back. It’s not on anyone else but me, but it still is so annoying and draining.
Less and less people are calling me a boy. Of course my friends do, but everyone else doesn’t. Some teachers try, but most don’t. Fettes, my fav teacher calls me she, and while it hurts I don’t want to go through that awkward conversation of asking her to call me a boy. I really like my friend group and I’m happy they see me as a boy.
Feb 27. School is gladly ending in 9 minutes. We are writing a narrative about
^didn’t get to finish yesterday because gladly we were told to pack, but anyway I have to finish the narrative essay by Monday. We have a sub in Mrs. Fettes’ class, so I’m like 90% sure it’s gonna feel fast. I hope we don’t get another bad sub note because last time that lecture from Fettes took all of 7th period.
Ethan and I got into an argument yesterday, and I’ve never felt so sad about something in my entire life. I’m not writing the whole problem down, but I was in the wrong and I don’t think he forgives me at all. Today is Friday and I’m supposed to go to Corri (Ethan’s dad) birthday party, but I’m obviously not going to go now 😭 I recommended a break between us even though while I was typing out the message my fingers refused to press the send button, but he said it’s in the past now and I shouldn’t dwell on it, but obviously I’m gonna. I don’t know if we’re still together or not, but if a whole year goes down the drain for something so STUPID I think I would never stop being mad at myself.
Mar 5th. Well It is 10:39 am. Math is almost over and I have lunch next. I probably won’t eat because it has tomato sauce and that hurts my stomach a lot of the time. I keep on thinking about the beginning of the year. I don’t remember the exact day, but I do remember what I was wearing. I had a cool beetlejuice shirt on and black jeans with my DC’s on. That’s when my dad called me.
It was a sunny day and my dad told me Hoke was in the hospital. At first he said he was dead and I just froze. When we finally corrected him I had never been so relieved in my entire life. Hoksila was in the hospital and we went to visit him. He didn’t seem happy, but he could still talk. He could respond. I remember when he was in the hospital everyone was hugging him, but I didn’t. Then he was moved to hospice and then he became unresponsive. Then he was struggling to breathe. Then he had bed sores. We were in that stupid hospital for 3 days straight with my uncle. I never got to know him, and I could never talk about him like everyone else could. My biggest mistake was not telling him how much I loved him. How much I still do. I miss him like crazy and I didn’t even see him regularly. I’m sorry Hoke.
Mar 6. It’s ELA right now and it’s 1:42. We are talking about Fredrick Doughlas.
2:33. Part of me wishes that this was all just one dream. That I’ll wake up and things will be so different. I would genuinely exchange my life with ANYONE who was willing to trade in order to not feel like this and be so affected by it. I know people have it worse than me, and I know this is petty, but at this point do I care? Not really. There are my friends and siblings. Eva, Faithy, Lacey, Sophia, Athena, Evy, June bugs, Ethan, Sky, Chy, Ren, Franck, Jeanette, Allana, Inas, Camryn.
Mar 7. Fri-YAY! Actually, I’m halfway through the day in science right now. After this I only have 3 more hours of classes and then FINALLY I am done. I can go HOME 🙏
I cannot wait to go home. Recently I’ve been obsessed with Mafia II. Like the game is so peak, and to be honest it my opinion it’s better than GTA 4. Although I will say I also really like GTA 4. The game is so tuff (gta and mafia).
I learned that Davyd or David, however you spell it, said a slur on the bus and this girl argued with him and he said something insensitive. I have never wanted to punch someone over something like this, but I don’t even feel bad.
I got a D+ on my quiz which is amazing considering that I didn’t study at all. I could never do that with math since when it comes to that subject I’m as smart as cave divers when they see a small crack in a rock. It ain’t a bad grade, so I’m not complaining.
Weirdly enough I’ve been thinking about when I was little and I compare it to now a lot. Obviously now is perfect compared to then, but still sometimes I do kind of miss how it was.
Mar 12. A couple of days ago Ethan’s mama bought me ps plus and I have never been so happy. I ruv it, dude. I got Final Fantasy VII Remake, Alone in the Dark, Until Dawn, Resident Evil 3, Resi Code Veronica, and Resi Umbrella chronicles. I wonder if she’d also buy me it next month… I’ll ask, but I need to get a flipping job 😭 Faithy has been buying me nitro each month (she’s the best I love her) and every other subscription has been bought FOR me.
Mar 18th, dude I have so many good games. I finished Until Dawn and it was PEAK omg. It was so good, I loved it so much. I’ve been playing Final Fantasy and Ace Attorney. Ace Attorney is SO GOOD OML. I love Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright. Unfortunately for me, I’m 5 chapters away from finishing Mafia 💔. It’s such a good game. Especially since it was made a while ago.
MAR 19TH, THEY TOOK ACE ATTORNEY OFF OF PS PLUS 💔💔 it costs 10$ now so I’m begging my mama, but we all know damn well. I NEED to finish the game bro it’s the best FEIWNFUBIYEHW and it was made by one of my favorite companies, CapCom. I have a few companies that I love. Rockstar Games, CapCom, Puppet Combo, and Studio Investigrave. Mar 21, update, Bridget MIGHT buy it for me. If all goes well then she can buy it for me, I can go to her house Saturday and help clean to make up for the money, and I’ll have money for ps plus 😍. Which is only if God decides he loves me enough to make my weekend. My cart is 21 dollars and like 12 cents… So even if Bridget decides to be the best person ever then I might not have enough for ps plus which is okay.
OMG NO WAY! I STILL HAVE 3 DOLLARS LEFT! So this means I’ll have enough for ps plus AND the games if Bridget gives me the money!!! Half off is so good and I CYANT miss it.. For both Ace Attorney PLUS Resident Evil 3??? And I also spent my money on re3 with a skin because I didn’t know they would take it off ps plus… I'M PRAYING they make the Until Dawn remake cheaper or I can buy it with my first check. Oh wait, I don’t have a job. Obviously I don’t. This whole Doc is about video games. How much more unemployed can I get? Okay I’m so bored…
I’m in a work room right now, but it’s not that bad. I just really don’t want to work. I’m so glad it’s the weekend. Happiest camper alive right now. Remington and I were talking during ninth period and he said, “but some white people have a reason to hate black people.” What he meant was people might just hate a person who happens to be colored because they did something wrong. While I agree, it’s not a good example of how we seriously have a problem with ‘casual’ racism. Kids will say the start of the n word, some people say, “Oh you speak so good for your kind,” and more stuff where it is so offensive yet so minimal. The jokes. Oh, God the jokes. “Of course you like chicken,” “of course you like watermelon,” or they’ll start making monkey noises. Then people hear my last name and suddenly were in 3rd grade instead of 8th. Tacos this, tacos that, I’m so fed up. My friends will make racist jokes, but it works because we are CLOSE. It is my humor and they KNOW that. These white people that run around calling me the n word are people who make me feel gross. Usually, I get so mad that I just want to throttle them because they say it to my friends, but one time this year I lowkey wanted to be white so badly. When I was little I prayed that I would wake up and have straight hair and white skin. I learned to be okay with how I look, and honestly I don’t even remember what was said to me, but I was just so mad. Mad that I was the one who had to deal with this. How was it supposed to be funny when all they do is tell me stuff that makes me feel ashamed of something I can’t change?
Will it change? No, probably not. I honestly don’t believe that life will ever go easy on me, like, ever, but I don’t think I’m just going to let it happen either. Sometimes I look at my skin and just think, “If I was white would my life be easier in any way?” Maybe. I think it would. I wouldn’t be offended by the jokes, I wouldn’t cry when someone made fun of a feature that I have. I would be normal. I wouldn’t care. It’s the worst, honestly. It ruins my day a lot of the time, but it’s okay because some people have it worse than me. I’ll deal with it somehow.
Well!!... A week of being gone and I’m back. Mar 31st. I actually feel like a zombie, dude. Nothing feels right, and everything seems fake. I might get a therapist which is good because I want to talk about my weird relationship with empathy. While I was there I got a small convo with Dr H about it… Or maybe it was the Berk, but I lack empathy a lot sometimes. Like, with anyone I could just not care, but when it’s someone I love, I have so much empathy. I don’t know why. I also get like super clingy and lovey with my friends. I think of them as my family more than my actual blood relatives. Then when they don’t like someone I have zero empathy. In fact I hate the person a little too much. This is a problem, but I don’t know how to fix it. I’m self aware, it’s something the doctors usually congratulate me on, but it feels like a curse. Knowing I have a problem, but not having any idea how to fix it. Maybe it’s my meds. Those probably make me feel so bland. I was not fully ready to come back and I knew that, but I can’t go back. HSC is being talked about TOO much for my liking. I feel like such a zombie and I literally cannot remember anything.
April 1st! April fools day! I’m very bored in math today, and my line of focus has to have gotten worse. Yesterday I cried about something and NOT EVEN 2 minutes later I had no idea why I was crying and felt almost like nothing. I can feel anger pretty darn clearly, so no problem there. Usually with my friends all I feel is happiness, but there have been times where I’m so confused about my feelings I don’t know if I am happy. Yesterday I had to pretend to be myself. Like, I had to look back and think, “how would I usually respond to people?” Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m a whole different person. A much blander unfunny one, but I’m starting to feel better. Now that I am starting to feel a little more like everything is real, I think it might just be that I’m very calm. It’s kinda nice, but when I'm ‘calm’ I feel almost nothing, but I don’t feel like I need to hurt anyone or myself, so it’s for sure for the best. I’ve kind of stopped hearing and seeing things now. Yay! I feel like everything in my life is so good right now, but I kind of miss when I was little. I really shouldn’t, but I do. Also, I got into an argument with Eva yesterday, and she was so annoying, I hate her so much. We cut contact with each other, so no more Eva I guess. I told her I hated her so much and all that. I got pretty mad.
Apr 2nd. I made a mistake, but also not a mistake because I bought all the Devil May Cry games, but now I won’t have nearly enough for my ps plus 💔 I can’t just ask Bridget again. What I could do is steal from my mom again without her knowing, but how in the world would she not find out, like, she somehow is constantly keeping watch of that money. One time she lost a 50 and blamed ME. I WASN’T EVEN HOME??? Okay, maybe if I get enough I can deliver a 20 to Bridget then she can buy me a gift card? That’s a big if though, I’m very unemployed. I’m really into Mortal Kombat again!!! I love Johnny Cage 😛 Also, I had to delete FOUR games to re-download Mortal Kombat 1?? Like Jesus Christ?? I’m very lucky that DMC was able to download without deleting MORE games. I had to delete some Resi games which killed me a little on the inside. Does anyone want a list of all the games I love? Yes? Okay!
Obviously Red Dead Redemption, Red Dead Redemption 2, Red Dead Undead, Red Dead Revolver. Grand Theft Auto 3-5, Resident Evil ALL GAMES, Ace Attorney, Mortal Kombat, Final Fantasy, Max Payne, Mafia, Yakuza, LA Noire, Manhunt, God of War, Ghost of Tsushima, Lost Records, Heavy Rain, Silent Hill, Devil May Cry, Alone in the Dark, Until Dawn, The Quarry, The Walking Dead Game, Detroit; Become Human, Fallout, Life is Strange, Bully, Power Drill Massacre, Dead Plate, Rot in Paradise, DDLC, Undertale, Cold Front.
April 8th! I actually have time after school today since I don’t have any rookie marching band practice. I should start my book Trouble, but I will not 😂
I have the biggest headache ever and it lowkey is making me mad. I’m so TIRED because of my concert yesterday or maybe because I stayed up too late. Bridget took me to Wendy’s and that was pretty fun. I kind of want to read, but I wanted to update this since I didn’t yesterday. I’d be lying if I said I hated reading. Truth be told, I love reading. I love it but not more than story games. It’s still pretty prominent in my life. I mean, it has to be. I do like finding books I actually like. No offense, but Harry Potter is so trash. Took me forever to try reading again after reading books like that. I try to find books I can relate to. Born Blue and some other ones, but Born Blue was so close to my life I was quite happy about it at first. Then once I finished it I cried because I realized I don’t have the best life. I’m actually very okay with life right now. Grades are okay at best, but school itself isn’t that bad. Wish more people called me a boy but you win some, you lose some. My past/childhood obviously can’t be talked about here. It’s okay though because I think that life is going to be okay from now on. Maybe.
I hate a few kids at this school, but what I would give to be them is insane. They have their own problems but when I hear about their life I just start to wish. Some of these kid’s parents are so nice to them. Bridget is probably the closest I’ve gotten to parents like theirs. She’s better in my head, but she ain’t even my mom.
2:53. We got like 20-ish minutes left.
April 11th! Thankfully it’s FRIYAY! I just want the day to be over already. My mom got mad at me because I refused my meds yesterday, so she lectured me this morning about how I need to be more respectful to her. I don’t know if I’ll do that EVER, but whatever floats her boat. I want Bayonetta so bad. I think I can get it if I beg my dad.
I think Chamlagai has class wise open, so I’m praying he doesn’t make me get off this doc. He helped me a bit with my hook. I am so bad at writing. I think it’s something I’m just not good at. Math is something I can never be good at.
Mrs. Kelly came into careers today and it started to make me think, do I actually know what I want to do? I think I could actually fit all I want to do in life into my future, but I don’t fully know if that’s possible. After high school I think I won’t immediately go to college anymore. I think something in construction could really work for me and after the money builds up I can go. Then I can get my 4 year degree, maybe even major in psychology, before applying to be a special agent. The thing with that is I also want to get into the army, so maybe if I hold off on applying for the FBI and sign up for the army I can do that for 4 years THEN apply.
That doesn’t sound too bad actually. Okay, make it through high school then do something with a construction company so I could possibly get loads of money for college. Then I can go to college for 4 years, major in psychology, graduate, go to the army for 4 years, and finally, apply to be a special agent. Is it possible? Probably not, but I want it to be so I’ll work for it. I still have a long time before any of that can come true, so maybe if I know what I want I can make it work.
April 14th! Wednesday my dads taking me to an appointment so I’ll be gone and I’m so excited!! I doN'T wanna be at skewl. We don’t have school Friday, and have an early release Thursday.
April 15th. I got the day WRONG 💔 my appointment’s next week Wednesday. I’m so sad that I have to be at school today. I can’t wait for our break because I hate school. There’s only 25 days of school left. I cannot wait until the summer. I don’t even care if a job takes it all up because anything is better than school. I’m okay with it I guess. I got Bayonetta and it’s pretty good. I like it, and she’s also a baddie. I’m terribly tired, bruh.
April 16th. I haven’t really got much to write. I guess life has been such a cycle that not much has changed. Tomorrow we have an early release and then no school Friday. Don’t get me started on how excited I am to go home early. I am so bored of school. I need to do homework. My phone didn’t charge last night, so I have to charge it in class. Bayonetta is a pretty good game, I actually really enjoy it.
April 22nd. I’m so tired 💔 we only have 19 days of school left. I have never been happier for the school year to end. I get to leave at 10 tomorrow because I have an appointment. They’re going to this play at the high school earlier so I’m gonna see if I can get my dad to pick me up earlier. I got Yakuza 1 yesterday and a MGS game. I also got all the Max Payne games, but the problem is 1 & 2 are both ps2 games. I only have 5-3, so I made a deal with Omar. If I clean with no complaints for 2 weeks, he’ll buy me a ps2. I will most definitely NOT be complaining about anything until then. 13 days until my ps2 will be in my hands 🤤 until then I’ve been finishing the first DMC game, with Bayonetta. I can’t seem to find Bayonetta 2 and 3 anywhere. It might be for ps2, which I could easily get. Ethan’s dad MIGHT give me a job. Maybe. If he has the room. The pay is good and my boyfriend will help.
April 24th. I missed school yesterday, which was pretty fire. I’ve been doing pretty good with the deal that I made with Omar. 11 days until I get that ps2. OH and if I get the ps2, I can play the og Mafia. The remake is a bit too much like Mafia 3 for me. Mafia 3 is amazing, I love it so much but it’s so boring. I mean, the gameplay is. The story obviously makes up for that. I fight through the sleep that’s calling my name when I have to do a mission because holy crap is the story so fire. Mafia 2 is SO GOOD. Like so good. The story is peak, missions are fun, characters are likable. Vito Scaletta is so awesome, dude. He’s me guys, I swear!
April 28th. The reason why I still have chapters left in Mafia 2 is because I don’t wanna finish the game. ALSO OMG SO ONE MISSION WE KILLED TOMMY FLIPPING ANGELO?? I actually was in shock for the rest of the day. My fav protag killed my other fav protag 💔
I wrote that during math and now it’s 2:32. There's 5 weeks of school left which is 18 days. I absolutely cannot believe how fast the school year went by. Like, it feels like it flew by. Me as a person, I have changed for sure. For better or worse, I couldn’t tell you. I’ve found out a lot about myself, and I’ve definitely grown as a person and a student. One thing I’m happy didn’t change was the fact that I’m part of Ethan’s family and life. His mom is the sweetest to me and him (obviously more to him), his dad is a cool guy who (I think) respects me. His brother, Castor, is a friend of mine, but Orion is a whole different story. I don’t know if I’ll miss this school as much as I miss East, but I will miss it. My teachers, mostly. I still am so sad that I don’t get to move up with my friends from East Harrisburg. I still see them from time to time but not too much anymore. I mostly see Ethan all the time. I’m very happy with that, but I still miss my friends a lot of the time. When people ask about previous years I always act like I have no clue on what they’re talking about. “Remember 6th grade?” “Um, no…?” In reality, yes, I do. Please spare me the pain and agony of reminding me.
List of the games I have as an update!! I have a metal gear solid game with Yakuza 2,3,4,5, rdr 1+2, Until Dawn, Ace Attorney, all the Devil may cry games, all resident evil games. Alone in the dark, dead plate, rot in paradise, cold front, gta 3-5, all max payne games, final fantasy, mk10-1(2), bully, l.a noire, mafia (all games), god of war, heavy rain, dbh, twdg, tomb raider, silent hill, bayonetta.
May 2nd. A few days ago I got my ps2!!! Like, Wednesday I got it, I think. It could get here as early as tomorrow or next THURSDAY 💔 It’s Friday and I’m in 3rd period right now. I actually cannot wait to go home. I got my stuff rocked yesterday since I missed the bus so I’m not very happy I guess. My head hurts and I think my ribs are bruised bro. Sigh, luckily I get to see my boyfriend and hang out with Taylan. I lowkey wanna cry right now but it’s okay. I have PLAYED these games before!!! It’s gonna blow over but still I’m sad.
May 6th, my ps2 gets here today, but my dad’s at work and it might get stolen. I’m so scared, if it gets stolen I’ll genuinely sob. Man, if my games stolen, my ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE DOLLAR PlayStation 2 gets taken, I’ll never stop complaining. It’s delivered, I know that for sure. Been on the way since yesterday, there's no way that it’s not home yet. Since it’s at my dads it’ll be on the way here even LATER. If it’s not already took. I’m going to cry if my package is stolen. The thing that I have been waiting for since wednesday last week, gets taken, I might actually be the most depresso espresso ever.
On a side note, 12 days of school left not c
May 8th, so I was too busy to update this yesterday, but my ps2 got to my house. I love it so much!!! I wanna get more games for it so I’m gonna
^ I think I got distracted, but I got my ELA state test scores back! I got a good 4. Last year I was a 1, so I went up 277 points. I have never been happier about something. I just got done with my 2 missing assignments that WEREN’T math. I think I’m doing pretty good right now. It’s almost summer, and I’m pretty happy about that.
May 13, btw. 7 days of school left!
May 15, we have a potluck today in Mrs. Fettes’ class. We’re gonna watch a movie with the potluck so that’s pretty fire. I wouldn’t say it’s going to be the best, but it’s gonna be the best. Aiden brought chicken tacos which are FIRE.
Anyway, I’ve noticed I haven’t been typing in here too much. I don’t know why, I just don’t have much to type about. Maybe it’s because I got a therapist so I have someone to talk to. Actually, it might be because I don’t have much to write about. I honestly don’t know. I can write about how much I hate Ada Wong. Dude, her character is so bad. Listen, Piers said that the whole point of her character is that she has nothing and we know nothing about her. Which is really cool honestly, but at the same time, she has no reason for being such a bad person. She really doesn’t have much to her character other than the fact that she only does things for herself. Capcom already tries to downplay their female characters' stories, but they chose such a convoluted concept for her character when they don't even want to fully write her character correctly. Oh and don’t get me STARTED on aeon. It’s a ship between Leon and Ada, I hate it SO MUCH. I like, genuinely, hate that stupid ship. “Oh, it’s sweet because she’s falling love with him even though she only saves herself!” Yeah after betraying him 6 times 💔 like c’mon it’s so booty. Capcom just puts together whatever male and female character they can find. Like, don’t make me mad, bro. I hate her, SO much.
I really do love resident evil a lot, though. Story games in general make me the happiest camper on earth. Did you know, the game franchise with the most games (spin-offs and such included) is Final Fantasy? Pretty cool, huh?
September 30th, 1998. It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day. And that night, Raccoon City was wiped out, thanks to the bioweapons created by Umbrella. Somehow, I made it out. But too many others...weren't so lucky. I was "asked" later to join a top-secret government program. Not that I had a choice. The training, the punishing missions...nearly killed me, but at least they kept my mind off everything. If I could just forget what happened that night - the pain, even for a second? This time, it can be different. It has to.
what is up with ppl getting the urls I want and doing ghe most booty thunsg with them?? it'll have nothing on it or be part of a hoard or theyre selling it💔 like nigga just gimme fhe damn url if u aren't even gonna use it
May 21, 2025! We grt out of school tmr. I actually am really gonna miss my 7/9 so bad. Mrs. Fettes too, bro I'm gonna actually miss school. Like, no way😭 I honestly kinda wanna cry, like wdym I developed friendships and good bonds with ppl js to go to a diffrent highschool next year :(
May 24, 2025! School ended a few days ago, and I'm actually kinda sad about it. I genuinely didn't realize how much I would miss my school. Allana and Rhianna are moving, I'll never have Mrs. Fettes again, my 7/9 English block will never meet again and it's devastating. My 7/9 was my favorite class, the people were so funny, Mrs, Fettes was the best, hell, even Grant was nice to be around. I formed a relationship with the class, and leaving just hurts. I'm in Rapid City on a trip, and it's nice, but I'm still so stuck on school. Mr. Mellilo bought me a yearbook, he was my band director and I loved him. Both him and Mr. Outland. I'm gonna miss them too.