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1001 Heartfelt Words

For: my dearest-precious-angelic-hard-working man, kesayangannya Yaya, Abimanyu Arkatama.

Kak Bima... Bosen enggak sih tiap baca surat dari Yaya? WKWKWK (mohon dijawab HAHAHA)
Siap-siap baca surat panjang x lebar x tinggi lagi, ya? :'D
Semoga enggak pernah capek bacanya :')
Baca di waktu senggang ajaaa :'>


DISCLAIMER

Disclaimer dulu seperti biasa, this won’t be poem nor prose and I won’t promise this will be beautifully written, but trust me I put all my sincerity in this. Mungkin isinya akan sama-sama aja, sebelas dua belas dengan yang beberapa kali Yaya pernah tulis, tapi gimana yaa? Writing this letter tuh kayak nulis diary? Jadi bawaannya enjoy aja HEHEHE. Semoga Kakak yang baca juga enjoy bacanya :>


TMI nulis ini tuh pas lagi hujan deres dan ada petir terus sambil dengerin lagu galau jadi basahnya gak cuma di tanah tapi di pipi HIYAHAHAHA makin berasa SEDIH BANGEEEEEEEEET terus sedihnya berasa didukung alam semesta wkwk.

You know, I thought being independent who is standing on my own feet, surrounding myself with busy schedules, or what so-called productive-hectic life alone, could gain my focus and made me immune to everything, yet in the end, loneliness is what I can’t even defeat. Maybe one day I will deal with my own loneliness and befriend with it, but not this time, I guess. Out of nowhere, there is you who is perfectly coming into my life, complete the puzzle piece, and make me calm & stay collected. Being loved is the warmest feeling ever, one feeling that I’ve actually missed dearly. With just your presence, I feel instantly at ease and warm. Talking to you makes me feel like coming home from work, going straight to shower, and then going to bed. The sense of profound relaxation and comfort. Each day, the thumps from my heart feel stronger and grow bigger whenever we talk to each other. The fluttery feeling that results from butterflies in my stomach is still there every time I receive new notifications from you.

Another TMI: honestly speaking I have so many fears every time I'm intended to re-rent you. There's a little battle between my heart and my brain. So many 'what if' that never stop questioning in my head. I am afraid that I won't live up to your expectations and you will be bored of me or struggled even to build the chemistry with me again cause I think I'm too hard to be handled, but on the other side I do really miss the affection you gave for me. It's so addictive, unbearable, unstoppable, and uncontrollable. It feels like it's not living if it's not with you. But finally, looks? We made it till the end smoothly HEHE (walaupun agak ngesot dan loyo juga ya karena capek banget dua minggu ke belakang ini insert hashtag semoga gak pingsan).

Another thing that you should know is you will always remind me of why I am a human—about how it is okay to cry, to love, to scream, to laugh, to be excited, to be scared. I go through it all with you beside me. I was always lost in this big world, my tiny legs were always wandering around, trying to find a place to fit in. But since I’ve found you, I’ve found a place of solace and I’ve grown braver to accept this cruel world. "Jangan dilawan," you said, and I will always keep that in my mind.

Thank you. Thank you for giving me another chance by accepting me (again and again) into your life for the past 2 weeks. I've learned that I can still be loved unconditionally, even in the shortest amount of time given, with so many limitations, strict rules, and all of those pressuring-hectic life schedules. And even in the midst of my breakdowns, you always manage to at least put a smile on my face or let out a small chuckle. Huge thank you for being the reason I smile during my darkest days and weakest moments. Our time is so precious and I value it the most for every second that we've spent together. Thank you for helping in ways I can not describe. With your existence, you shaped me into a better version of myself. You really have such an impact on me. Thank you for existing and living. Thank you for being you. Maybe the word "thank you" is never enough, but I'm grateful for you and every atom in your body. I'll be eternally utmost grateful for the fact that you ever exist in my life. I will never stop thanking you, both for having you and being yours.

Time flies. Dua minggu ini menurut Yaya berasa cepet banget... Kalau kata 1D, "Does it ever drive you crazy? just how fast the night changes." :< Our session passed in the blink of an eye... Do you feel the same or is it just me who feels like that? We are maybe only 2 strangers meeting by chance and in a very complex setting. But the memories are still beautiful, memorable, and I still don’t regret any because you’re giving me the taste of being loved genuinely and I couldn’t ask more, "I couldn't be more in love", kalau kata The 1975 hehe.

Kak Bima, you deserved to be loved the way you love. You are worthy of being loved. I hope you can love yourself the way you love others by not pushing yourself too hard. Mungkin bosen dengernya, but I will never get tired of saying please always take care of yourself. I know you are a very diligent and hard-working man but please I don't wanna see you in pain. U___U


SPECIAL TO DO LIST FOR YOU

  • Drink enough water
  • Have a proper & nutritious meal, less spicy, less oily, less salt, less sugar, less caffeine
  • Go to bed early, don't take stay up late too often :(
  • Get adequate rest, an enough & restful sleep
  • Consume the vitamins
  • Always put your mask on properly
  • Regularly wash your hand
  • Prepare the raincoat & Freshcare ><
  • Ride safely, never go ride with sleepy eyes
  • Do some physical exercise
  • Take a sunbath on weekend for a while

I'm concerned about your health :') Please stay healthy... You've worked hard and always done well every time. Keep improving and keep up the good work <3 I'm beyond proud of you! :'D I really hope you live your life well. I wish you the best of luck in your life and that you enjoy every moment of it to make a more peaceful & meaningful life. You are an incredible person, you deserve all the best things this world has to offer and give. May the world treat you with love, kindness, and full of blessings ya. I'm still here supporting you silently and loving you from a distance. I'll keep praying for you to get through the battles that you don't tell me or even anyone about. Hoping the Almighty will make everything easy for your future. AAMIIN. I'm wishing you Godspeed!

Wholeheartedly,
Arrhenia Valency.

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Pub: 24 Apr 2022 18:00 UTC
Edit: 24 Apr 2022 19:15 UTC
Views: 48