last day of the big 25 โน๏ธโน๏ธ life goin a lil too fast cro. thanatophobia kms
im actually not too bad.
dude
this is already what i believe to be the best new years day ive had, in, well, years ๐
for the last many years my corny ass "resolution" always was to kms ๐.
this is finally, my first year without wanting to go about that same bullshit. im doing amazing dude i havent even cut in countless months???? and i think so much of it is my new school which i still truly could not be more grateful for.
i mean i gyess i cant say im not going to do it becahse gou never know whats gonna happen in the future? ๐ but its my first year without a plan. without the desire.
whenever i used to have that feeling id make myself think of everyone who would want me dead.
but no. for once, ive truly learned. even if theres just a select few that would greive over me, theres not a huge group that actively wants me gone. tldr, the gist (positively) is that no one really cares that much.
edit ๐ ok yeah there is because theres still the majority of my old school that wants to see me shot but the big thing is even if i was and did die, how would they even know???? its not like theyd notice i stopped showing up to school ๐๐
in a corny way ๐ฅ im grateful as theres already places that have "pre-accepted" my j*\b applications and im also working hard in my education !!!! im learning more about various medical fields, uuunfortunately i still am indecisive. so i dont know if i want to dedicate my future to epidemiological studies like my mother, veterinary servives, psychiatric health or whatever, or pediatrics. and maybe theres more options im forgetting ๐
either way , i still have plenty of time to think about it, been planning to reach for MIT as my mom did, and i REALLLYYYY doubt it, but if im smart enough, who knows maybe harvard ๐ which my mom taught a class at once
i think its so funny and stupid ๐ฅ how im already talking about my future future that is barely close to me like bro focus on ela class not studying testicular cancer ๐ญ imagine ive all this "im fina b a doctor or a researcher about cancer and cure things!!!" 2 days later my ahh homeless ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
ok wueva ๐ฅ im going hella off script tp ๐
im still lwk living this stupid baka life sighh.... white boy nooi nooo siggghh.... bwomp but i GAYT ts 26 in the bag dudes im not letting chatGenitaliaPissTesticle steal my future jobs
dude i hate how ai is becoming SO normalized and sometimes even ENFIRCED. โน๏ธ i already talked about the school art class grade there was about talking to ai chatbots about art ????โน๏ธ and in my MOMS WORK shes HAVING to use GEMINI AND CHATGPT ๐๐๐ for "data analysts" and idk other dumb shit like cro . i wantED to work at that company but flog get your MONEY up not your funny up. im gonna have to work hard if i wanna go on "another cruise" when im older ๐ญ REALLY HARD because im a pussy and i would NOT go alone whatsoever thatd be genuinely miserable โน๏ธโน๏ธโน๏ธ so maybe id bring a partner or omg maybe my future kid(s) auwwh thatd be really sweet actually we'd all play mini golf awh dude i want kids so bad when im older but like shit EXPENSIVE i fucking HATE kids can i just like babysit kids and bring them on a cruise ship with me ๐๐๐ /HBYJ of course ๐ญ
this is already 8x longer than it was meant to be genuinely augh. im going to close my mouth. one last thing, yeah im posting on pinterest tiktok working on my webpages and music career and discord and tons of other hobbies and such, im doing so much right now and im honestly not burnt out at all im just really really proud of myself for finally being able to do anything. havent posted on tiktok since A WHILE before i got institutionalized but i posted chatlie kirk โค๏ธโ๐ฉน okay. lube you ๐ฌ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ถ๐gng โกโก หฺกห