Sex Sells... 01
By : DickThePimp
Is there anything sex doesn't sell?.............. Hmmmm..... Well........ Nah..... Umm...... well, there may be, but for the sake of this series we'll say there ain't. Gettin' some pussy, ass, or cock is pretty universal in it's mass appeal. We all love gettin' freaky and gettin' off... And I'm definitely gonna prove that with this one. Hold on and get it up... it's fuck o' clock, bitches..............
Sex Sells... World International Universal Headquarters... Studio 1.......
Dude stares right at her bulging breasts, mere inches from them. "How much?"
"Them things." Dude points right at them, his fingertips grazing them as he coyly wiggles them. Snarky little bastard.
Max shakes her head, smirking deviously. Her uber awesome 34DDs pouring out of the unzipped top of her yellow and red waitress uniform. "..." She leans in to him, big titties glistening with beads of sweat, and softly whispers in his ear... all sexy and all... "about ten.... TIMES ALL THE MONEY YOU'LL EVER HAVE IN YOUR MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE, DUMBASS!!!" Then she dumps his spaghetti and meatballs in his lap. Fired up and hot as fuck! Damn... my kinda woman. Must be why I married her.
As the customer tries to clean himself up, Max heads over to the diner counter to talk to her best buddy/roommate... and fellow waitress... Whitney, shaking her gorgeous head at the big titty horndog customer.
"You OK, Max?"
"Yeah... I'm just sick of these annoying motherfuckers that are bad tippers and always trying to fuck me. I mean, damn... if you wanna fuck at least be a good tipper... or buy some weed off me... Something! Damn. That little weasel's been in here a few times and he NEVER tips! Bastard!" Max sticks out her tongue at the dude and straightens her top, pushing up on her super jugs to make sure they're perfect... and they definitely are.
"I know. I let a guy fuck me earlier cause he was so cute.... AND he gave me a nice tip, and all I did was let him fuck my pussy. $100 tip too. I told him I'd suck him off of he came back tomorrow. I'm really hoping he does. I have my eye on some Jimmy Choo's... and I only need another 50 bucks."
"That's what I like about you, Whitney... you're such a professional slut. You want some shoes... you fuck and suck some dudes. You're a real pro, babe." Max laughs, naughty winking at Whitney. She feels her up too, adjusting them sweet jugs in her uniform, making sure Whitney's lush boobies are nice and perfect as well... and yes... they are too. They share a quick kiss and giggle, then get back to work.
"Damn girl, your tittays are looking awesome!" Whitney Cummings tells Kat Dennings as she checks out Kat's hefty rack.
They're starring in a takeoff on Kat's 2 Broke Girls series. It's called 2 Broke Sluts... and it's exclusively on Sex Sells... TV. My idea. Kat loved it so we're doing it. Simple. I hired my girlfriend Whitney Cummings... who co-created 2 Broke Girls... to come in and produce it and co-star in it too. Had to make a few changes for trademark reasons so no Caroline. Whitney's way hotter than Beth Behrs anyway so it works.
"You girls are always chirpin'....... Hehe." Margaret Cho walks up to them. She plays the manager. She's a much nicer to look at manager than the little Korean guy from the CBS show. Margaret kisses Kat and Whitney on the cheek, then they share a smoke break while the camera crew sets up for the next scene.
"Damn girl... this is some good shit."
"Yeah...thanks. I usually save my best stuff for James, but since he's out of town til tomorrow I decided to smoke dat shit, BABY! OWWW! Hahaha." Margaret jokes and takes the joint from Whitney, puffs and then passes to Kat.
"Look at you... always sucking up to the boss man. Ha." Whitney jokes to Margaret. They keep puffing and passing... and quickly flashing the crew.
"More like sucking off the boss man." Kat grins a big ol' naughty grin.
"Girl... nobody does that more than you, sweetie pie." Margaret keeps up the figurative ball busting. They all laugh as they smoke. They all three actually suck off the boss man quite a bit... and thank God for that. Hahaha.
Whitney starts fondling Kat's super titties again, leaning in and licking them while the crew watches and applauds. Whitney laughs, then slutty kisses all over and motorboats Kat's creamy white 34DD chest bombs for the horny crew to enjoy. She gets a big pop from 'em. Whitney's real popular with the crew... for multiple reasons.
As 2 Broke Sluts gets back to filming, let's check out a very popular commercial for Sex Sells... TV.......
"Mmmmmmm... hey there everyone. I'm Kim Kardashian. I'm the boss' wife... and President of Sex Sells... TV. This is such a nice cock, isn't it? Mmmmmmm." Kim's jerking a ten inch thick piece of white meat, complete with bright pink helmet shaped crown. A nice and thick cock. So hard too. The camera is zoomed in on the rock hard cock, with Kim in the background. A flashy, Make Sure To Watch Sex Sells... TV sign on the wall behind Kim. It's in perfect focus the whole time.
Kim looks hard at the cock, smirking all sexy and all, slowly jerking it til it oozes cum. Not shoots it... oozes it. It runs out, pouring down the sides, rolling slowly over Kim's hand.
"YUM! Look at all of that yummy, yummy cum. I'm sure it tastes as good as it looks too. Hehe." She leans into the cock and laps at it with her tongue, smiling that trademark, very beautiful Kim I smile. Kim plays with the oozing cum with her super horny, dancing tongue, catching the cum on it, then letting it roll off of her tongue back onto the thick, upright shaft. She takes a bigggggg lick, scooping up a large amount of creamy white sperm with her dirty dancing tongue and delightedly gulps it down, still slowly jerking the bulging shaft.
"Mmmmmmm... yes it does. Yes it definitely does. Hehehe. Don't forget... Sex Sells... Everything.... Byeeeee......." She waves and smiles at the camera, still stroking the hard as steel cock, her creamy, jizz glistening full lips pursed. She blows a big sexy kiss from behind the cumming cock to the camera as it fades out.
I love that commercial. Simple, sexy... and to the slutty point. Sex definitely sells everything. It's the story and theme of my life... and my world.
I'm up in Frisco with my grandmama Nancy (Nancy Pelosi) and her wife Hillary (Hillary Clinton) on business. We're opening a swingers retreat up here so we're finishing up all the zoning and taxes shit you've got to go through to get to the fun shit.
"Damn... Hillary... take those dicks up your old whore ass. You nasty bitch. Ha! I love it!" My grandmama cheering on her super slutty wife while she gets double anal from two big young fans... ten and eleven inches respectively. Twenty one inches of hard dick up that old white butt. Damn! That whore can take a butt fucking real damn good.
Nancy slaps both young stud's butts, squeezing 'em both while she films Hillary taking a double ass pounding, screaming, creaming and gleaming. Hillary's old saggy boobs hang down under her and jiggle wildly as both dudes abuse her lily white ass rough and wild. Gotta love my horned up step granny. Sexy bitch with a sexual appetite that would wear out bitches a third her age.
"Hey babe... saw your commercial again. Just as hot as it was the first time."
"Awwww... thank you, my king." Kim called me. "Did you get the pics of our new hunk? Beth (Beth Chapman) found him in Malibu. He's a surfer. She said he's a helluva fuck too. Yum yum. Hehe."
"Beth always spots talent. Another horny wife for me. Ha."
"Oh yeahhh, stud. You make us all horny... all day... all night. Yummy yum yum. Hehehe."
"How's things at home, hot stuff?" I ask.
Both young studs cum in Hillary's well used rump. It floods out, pooling on the bed sheets. Nancy zooms in close, massaging both dude's big young nuts as they pump out the thick dick cream.
"Things are fine, babe. It's not the same without you though. There's a lot going on here. We fmed another episode of 2 Broke Sluts, and The Big Banging Theory. Kaley and Kat wanted to say hello, babe."
"Hello back... I miss all my girls. My queen especially."
"Awwwwww... I miss my king so much. My handsome, gorgeous king. Can you come back early, babe? Pretty please. Mmmmmmm."
"Pretty, pretty please. I'll be so happy to see you, my king. Soooooooo happy. Hehehe."
"Well... OK. You twisted my arm. Ha."
"YEAAAAA! I can't eaot to see you, my handsome king. I'll be waiting... and wet. Hehe."
"And I be all excited... and hard. Haha."
"Mmmmmmmm. Yum yum. Love you, babe. See you then, handsome. MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!"
"See you shortly, hot stuff. Love ya too."
I walk over to my gorgeous grandmama and slip my hard, bouncing dick up her old, smooth as silk butt while she sucks the two young dudes clean. Her eyes roll back in her head as I enter her, loud, ecstatic moans launch from her cock stuffed mouth, my hands roughly molesting her huge hanging tits while I rump pump her furiously, the bed shaking and squeaking big time. A little hotel room ass bang with big titty granny before I head home to fuck my totally awesome sauce wife.
Back at Sex Sells... TV.......
"God, Kat... your pussy's amazing! Uhhh!"
"Yeah, yeah... hurry up. My man's gonna be home soon and I wanna fuck him after Kim does. Jizz me Ed. Fill my pussy with that sweet cream, daddy."
Ed the cameraman is fucking Kat in her dressing room. She sitting on the makeup table, leaning against the mirror as he drives his eight incher up her pulsating pussy over and over. Kat's cunt is uber talented. It's squeezing, pumping, massaging, and juice bathing that big dick senseless. Ed's making all kinds of sex faces, making Kat laugh. She's chewing gum and squeezing Ed's ass as he pussy pumps her hard and fast.
"OH FUCK!" Ed blurts out as he cum dumps in my bodacious brunette wife's trembling twat. His dick slime pours out, feeding Kat's jizz craving poontang a high protein late lunch.
"Yeah... pump it, bitch boy." Kat blows a big bubble and pops it, her full, luscious lips pursed tight as she squeezes Ed's ass, pulling him in even deeper. Her totally awesome 34DDs jiggle each deep thrust in by Ed. "Good bitch boy. Now... get the fuck outta here so I can get ready for my man." Kat pushes a heavy breathing and sweating Ed off of her, then hops down from the counter and heads to the bathroom.
"Thanks, Kat." Ed says, breathing heavy and grinning. Kat just waves back at him and closes the bathroom door behind her. Ed just grins, knowing Kat enjoys a post show fuck every day so he thinks he might get lucky again tomorrow. Getting laid is a definite fringe benefit of working here. Everyone seems to enjoy it very much also. (Happy boss smirk and thumbs up)
"OK... get that face ready, slut." My dear wife Kathie Lee Gifford is directing the latest episode of Hoda : Cum Whore for Sex Sells... TV. It's episode 1,000... a REAL BIG one. Hoda's been a busy little cum whore for us. I absolutely love that caramel slut.
Kathie Lee directs all of Hoda's movies... and joins in on the whorey fun from time to time as well.
It's a crossover production. Kathie Lee and Hoda do the Two Whores podcast for Sex Sells... Podcasts. We're cross promoting the movie on the streaming service and the podcast.... And pretty much everywhere else we can.
It's a super-sized episode too. Kathie Lee wants Hoda to take 1,000 facials... and Hoda's most definitely up for it. She freaking craves cum. The more... the spermier... the better. On her. In her. Hell... she even bathed in it for this episode. Yep... an actual, real cum bath. A whole bunch of cocks cumming in that tub... and a whole bunch of Hoda smiling, bathing in it... and eating it. They've been filming the cum crazy movie for a month. It's fucking awesome so far. Kathie Lee's definitely one helluva porn director.
Hoda's in a public restroom... in Beverly Hills... no further details since we don't have a permit... on her knees, smiling so happy with all those hard cocks... ten total... surrounding her beautiful Egyptian/American face. She's licking at the bulbous heads, eagerly lapping up whatever precum pours out. The horny dudes are jerking off furiously, very anxious to cover that slutty bitch's sweet smiling light brown face with tons of creamy white jizz.
"Shoot that gooey shit." Kathie Lee rips open her white silk blouse, flashing the horny dudes, giving them a little extra encouragement. She shakes her titties for 'em, getting a huge cheer for her sexy efforts.
The guys jack fast and furious, their hard dicks bouncing and lurching wildly as they surround sweet Hoda. She smiles up at them and blows them kisses, playfully biting their precum covered crowns as they jerk even faster. It's cum time, bitches!
One hard, bouncing dick after the other starts cumming at and on Hoda's sweet smiling face and on her outstretched, fast wagging tongue. It's a sperm tidalwave up in that public restroom. The camera guys make sure to capture it all from every angle, moving around and slipping in between all of the cumming cocks.
Glob after glob of sticky sperm splatters Hoda's caramel toned face, slowly rolling in every direction. It soaks her brown and blonde highlighted hair, smears her makeup, and covers her beautiful, light brown face from ear to ear and forehead to chin. Thick, gooey, white semen smoothly sliding down that slutty face. Such a pleasurably nasty sight.
Kathie Lee gets involved, grabbing dicks and frantically jerking them with both hands as she points them all at Hoda's sperm drenched face. She shakes every cummy cock at Hoda's face making sure to shake out every last drop of precious cum. Kathie Lee makes sure to jerk off every last cock, smacking each of them onto Hoda's outstretched, cum seiged tongue.
"Sexy slut." Kathie Lee blows her best friend and co-host Hoda a nice slutty kiss.
"You too, baby." One horned up dude says, walking up behind Kathie Lee and reaching around her to roughly grope her perfectly jiggly nature titties. "Fucking awesome titties, baby. KATHIE LEE... KATHIE LEE..." A big cheer breaks out as several guys start titty molesting the very receptive Queen Of Daytime TV. She soaks it all in, all of those horny hands groping her smooth, still mostly perky titties... and her ass and pussy through her white Capri pants too. She keeps jerking the two dicks in her hands, smiling from ear to ear. It's called Two Whores for a reason.
Hoda keeps smiling... and sucking all those hard dicks, cleaning them as all of that cum rolls down her caramel face into her very welcoming mouth. Hoda happily gulps it all down, making sure to smile and wink at the cameras... always the professional.
"Let's gangbang both bitches. Really kick this movie up a notch."
The guys suggest it... and Kathie Lee approves it. "Looks like we're gonna be busy for awhile, Hoda babe. I sure hope the cops don't come in here and take us all in... at least until after all the hot gangbang fun is done." Kathie Lee smirks as she gets on her knees. The guys cheer loudly, high fiving and cheering for both cum whores. Looks like Hoda : Cum Whore 1,000 Special Edition is gonna get a little more special right there in the public restroom in Beverly Hills. I fucking love horny whores. They make life a helluva lot more fun. Hahaha.
Back at home, I run into my baby sister Kaia. She's the light of my life. Just 18, and so sweet... and sexy as all fuck!
"Mmmmmmm.... I'm so glad to have you back home, big bro. Sexiest brother ever." Kaia hugs me while I softly kiss her neck, picking her up and bugging her back. She takes after our mom, Kelly. Both blonde. Same perfect face. Same perfect, uber busty body. Thin frame with huge natural tits. Good God... that's all I can say.
What's gonna happen with Kaia? What about the Hoda : Cum Whore 1,000 Special Edition? I hear Kat's looking for me and my cock. How's that gonna turn out? Make sure to check out episode 02 and find out the answers to all of that... and you'll get to meet the rest of my family and fuck friends... and a whole lot more of dear sweet Kaia. See ya soon.
By : DickThePimp