he knew he could be great.
damian al ghul-wayne is not an easy person. he knows this. damian is a difficult, difficult person, and he is very well aware of this. everyone knows. everyone tells him. he's difficult, hard to handle, rude, blunt, aggressive, cold— damian knows all of this. but he is trying. he knows he's trying.
damian would not consider himself to be a kind person, no. at least, not to most people. he is kind, he is very, very much compassionate, even if it doesn't show.
people can joke about how he's more likely to say ‘i love you’ to his dog rather than to his father, or brothers. but that isn't the case. he can show that in other ways, damian has always told himself. working himself to the bone, proving himself. proving himself to his grandfather and to his mother. to prove himself as an al ghul. to his father, to his family. to prove himself as a wayne. as a robin, proving himself. every inch of his entire being. he always feels like he has something to prove. it sometimes feels like it's the only something there is, on top of everything else in life he wants to do, has done, or was currently doing. it has always been a constant, never-ending cycle of needing to prove himself.
he doesn't care if he will seem arrogant or self-righteous in doing so, nor does he care if he ends up looking soft in doing so. he will prove himself.
damian is kind. he loves his family, his friends, his allies, his pets. he may not ever show it, but he will always have their backs, even if it is under the guise of an insult or a test or a simple glare. even if it is under the guise of leaving fruits outside one of his brother's door after he had gotten into an argument instead of apologizing outright. he cares, and he swears on his life for it. he will care until the day he dies, even if it is not outright or obvious in the traditional sense, even if it is the act of declaring a favor of protection instead of admitting he cares for someone.
damian believes strongly. that's it. he believes strongly in things he is sure of. he believes strongly in the positives, in the necessities of his training, for example. damian believes in things he is so sure of to an obsessive point, at times. yet, in other times, he is always so quick to deny and put down and disobey and take the lead on his own if he isn't willing enough, going against orders if he sees fit.
he believes too strongly, perhaps, in himself.
damian would like to believe that he is trying. people say he is, he’s making progress, he swears on it. he's learning, and he's growing to admit it. damian would like to admit that admitting is a difficult task above all else, such as but not limited to: admitting weaknesses and faults. he is still unwilling to do such, but what he is learning now is to let people in. to grow from them, to change from them and with them.
was that not why his mother had sent him to gotham in the first place? to learn and to grow and to train and to seek knowledge? to grow up from that ten year old assassin into something more? damian is absolute in knowing that is one of the many things he needs to do, and he will be persistent about it. like all things, he will commit to it. he will live and revel in what is given to him to learn and grow and adapt and take from. he will not allow otherwise.
how unfair of the world to make him feel so small.