My Immortal

I’m laying down, gazing upon the infinite night sky. My husband lies next to me, in this lush, green forest. We had been hiking for a few hours and decided to rest for some time in an open clearing, a rare sight in the thickness of these woods.
Suddenly bringing me out of my reverie, he spoke; “You know how people usually say looking at the stars and planets at night makes them feel insignificant and small? I think they couldn’t be more incorrect; they gloss over how not just people, but all creatures of Earth, big or small, strong or weak, intelligent or dumb, are connected. Hell, I might even say that non-sentient objects have a share in that connection too.” I turned my head to him, smiling playfully. “How so?” “Well, what appear as different beings, with different motives, different levels, if you will, of awareness of consciousness, share a common attribute among them. They are all striving towards something. To live, yes, to remain alive. Not necessarily consciously, by the way. But you can see it clearly in their behavior. They all seek to carry out their will upon life. Most non-human animals, as far as we are aware, at least, do this for reasons of food or procreation. Or protecting their offspring, too. Lions will hunt gazelles for food, a male bird will dance, sing, and display its bright colors to attract a mate for reproduction, and plants will extend their branches towards the sunlight.
Through this behavior, as different as it may look among the many living beings on Earth, that carrying out of their will, the many become one. When hundreds of ants march along in line, carrying leaves or breadcrumbs with their jaws, the many become one. We could say in this sense, that they become one will. All individuality and multiplicity fade away.”
I listened attentively, his words, despite the strangeness of the idea, were captivating and driving to something interesting. His philosophical inclinations had always attracted me, and he would often go into deep monologues of bizarre ideas and explanations, though I always appreciated them and paid attention, even if I didn’t understand everything. He continued. “What seems to be the truly outstanding thing, is that in this sense, the many, by becoming one, become immortal. If some person walking along were to step on one of these ants, that ant, in the sense I’m suggesting, never dies. His will is transported, and therefore his whole being, so to speak, to the other ants. Therefore, as long as ants live no ant perishes, but lives forever, through their collective will. We can say the same about pretty much any living being on the planet. And even more strangely, the same can also apply to non-living beings. It may seem strange to suggest something like an asteroid, for example, barreling through space, has a will, but even this non-sentient object imposes itself upon reality. It releases its force as if it were alive, like any other living being. So, in this sense, a non-sentient object like a meteor could have a will.”
He seemed fascinated explaining all this, and for sure it was interesting, but it seems by now it was becoming too esoteric and unorthodox. Where was he getting all this from? He finished his rambling with a final revelation. “What this all means is that everything is one. Where we normally see multiplicity and plurality is only an illusion of the senses, the only thing that truly exists is a single cosmic, capital W will that reigns supreme.” To push back a little, I decided to butt in with some questions. “Do we work like that though? We are human beings, we are not ants, plants, or meteors. Our actions go beyond trying to feed ourselves, reproduce, protect our kin. We do that too, yes, but we don’t stop there, and these other creatures do. Perhaps, by adding humans into the discussion, reality becomes a competition of many different wills that struggle against each other, rather than a single universal, capital W will.” He looked at me for a few seconds, then he smiled. “Maybe. Maybe that was all nonsense. But it does sound more poetic, doesn’t it? That you and me, and all the human race, and creatures of the universe are one. We’d probably treat each other better if we believed that, wouldn’t we?” I gaze into his eyes. “You and I are one. The two become one flesh. It’s time to wake up”.

“Mom? Are you awake?” I’m not in the forest anymore. It’s not night, there are no stars, and he’s gone. I lift my head up. I’m laying down in a strange room, in a bed I don’t recognize and see a woman I don’t recognize. “Who are you?” I see her lips quivering, her eyes well up. “It’s me mom, don’t you recognize me?”
I look at her closely, trying to recall if I know this person. Memories start rushing back. I know her. She’s my daughter, isn’t she? Her name is Sophia. I reply. “Yes. Sorry honey, I didn’t recognize you for a moment. I think I’ve dreamt of your father.” She comes closer, drying tears from her face. “Really? What was it about?” I start recalling things. I tell her about the forest, the ants, meteors, the competing wills and the cosmic capital W will. The eloquence of her father. By the time I’m done, I can tell her mood has improved. “That’s beautiful, mom. I’m surprised you remember all that, I usually forget my dreams immediately.” I think for a moment. “Well, now that you mention it, I’m not sure if it was just a dream”. Was it just a dream? Maybe I was remembering it particularly well because it wasn’t just a dream. But I couldn’t be certain. “I think I prefer his conclusion. He’ll live through me and you, and through your children and their children. Through all the ants, plants, birds, and meteors flying through space. I hope he was right. I hope he was right.”

Edit

Pub: 03 Feb 2025 05:54 UTC

Edit: 03 Feb 2025 05:55 UTC

Views: 60