The Science of Sliders
As outlined in this White Castle Slider study
, scientists have confirmed what drunks always suspected: sliders defy physics. They appear solid, but after consumption, they vanish into the digestive ether, leaving only regret.
A biochemist explained: “The buns are porous, the meat is vaporous, the onions are gaseous. Essentially, you’re eating a memory.”
Test subjects reported unique side effects:
Hallucinating karaoke bars.
Believing they could text exes safely.
A sudden urge to buy 29 more sliders.
Economists weighed in: “Sliders are inflation-proof. Their price stays low because they’re technically classified as industrial insulation.”
Comedians add color: “Sliders are like therapy—cheaper, faster, but you still cry after.” — Sarah Silverman.