A Hunting Party (Maybe Part 1)
The Border Wilds
There was reports of yet another new large Chimera Burrow being reported in the Border Wilds, a type of report that had been alarmingly increasing in frequency. It was as if something was aiding in their further reproduction....but that's not the focus now. The people within the Border wilds had commissioned the three most elite Beast Hunters they could currently get their hands on and hopefully get to work together with the promise of glory and coin.
Those three being Kaine Tsukikage, Yunlāw Jín, and John Thomas. It was night out, and at the moment the three were setting up a campsite outside the reported location of the nest. Even as powerful and experienced as the three were, they all still needed to be fully rested and fed to take on something as dangerous as a fresh Chimera Burrows. Chimera Burrow were incredibly unpredictable, as if the lair of the beasts was a beast itself. And beasts always command respect.
But now it was a time for respite and revelry, as there was no guarantee that they would be able to do so again. Such was the life of a Beast Hunter.
Kaine was dragging behind her several trees worth of firewood that she gathered in order to make a massive bonfire, one of the only reliable ways for staving off Chimeras so Beast Hunters could get a full night's rest. One of the first lessons a Hunter must always learn is how to sleep with a fire by your side amongst many other things. Though, Jin regularly sets himself on fire and John is...John, so Kaine figured that they'd be more than fine if the flame was a bit bigger than usual.
Though as she was about to set up the fire, she saw that the camp was under attack by a Chimera!
This one in particular's bodily anatomy was a combination between a Porcupine and various Turtles, a large, lumbering thing about the size of a Grizzly Bear. Not only was it covered in the thick bony armor of a massive shell, but between all the scutes lay thousands of outward facing quils that it was facing towards it's would-be aggressors. It's legs were also covered in quills as well, making for no easy method of attack. It's unnatural visage was completed with the compact head of an Alligator Snapping Turtle instead of the usual long neck of tortoises around it's size.
Kaine drew her blade, ready to strike the abomination down. As she went to attack though, a the arm of a Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey stopped her in her tracks. She knew who it was.
"What gives Jin!"
The monkey's admittedly adorable blue face turned towards her and gave her a smirk.
"Look closer."
And that she did. Upon close inspection, atop the back of the creatures head was a Honey Badger currently digging it's teeth into the creature's neck, vigorously scratching and scurrying towards the Chimera's head. The black and white Mustelid was currently impaled by several long quills throughout it's body but didn't seem to care in the slightest.
That just brought a question unto Kaine's lips.
"sigh Why is John fighting in animal form? I understand you conserving your energy, but what the hell is he doing?
The monkey gave a little laugh,
"He insisted he needed the practice. So he transformed and lunged straight towards the thing."
Kaine then scrunched her eyebrows even further and put her fingers towards her head.
"You know what, once he's done killing that thing I'm gonna go get some more water to make some Turtle Soup out of it's shell. You can deal with the aftermath of....that."
At the mention of food the monkey's eyes perked up significantly, his ears completely ignoring whatever unimportant stuff came after.
And as if on que a CRUNCH was heard as the badger had finally managed to sink his teeth into the turtle's skull. As the creature's legs gave out and splayed the Honey Badger triumphantly came down.
John then proceeded to stand up on his hind legs and do a little victory dance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58dDnymHnk8
It would've been adorable if his face and arms weren't currently covered in blood and skull fragments along with his body being impaled several times.
He then transformed back with his fists clenched and raised towards the sky. His arms and face were of course still covered in blood. At least the impalements weren't going through his entire body now.
"HAHAHA! I HAVE CLAIMED VICTORY!!!"
John then went to high-five the lazily branch-sitting Jin who began shaking his head.
"Yeah no. Not gonna happen."
John then frowned and pulled the carcass over to where the campfire was going to be. He then sat one of the log benches and pulled out a curious little device. A Phone. Not only that, but a supernaturally enhanced phone considering it still had a signal all the way out here in the Border Wilds. And what was that signal being used for?
"*—Thanks for the sub, TrvthCvlminationSvpernova, and for the last time, I don't have any plans to sell my bathwate—"
It appears that the rugged Beast Hunter was watching Kyomi's stream. Jin heard the errant sounds coming out of Johns phone and hopped from the branch to his shoulder to check it out. Upon seeing a bushy tailed girl talking in mannerisms he didn't try to wrap his enhanced brain around, he inquired John about his hobby.
"The hell are you doing?"
"*Mods, rupture his meridians, thank you."
John stared indignantly at the monkey he just noticed on his shoulders.
"It's something to do between Hunts! Can a man not have something to do outside of killing shit?!"
The monkey was not convinced. He narrowed his eyes towards the various icons on his phone and found something particularly strange.
"John, why does it say you've been Subscribed for several months under the name "BadgerMan98" "
John again maintained his face of argumentative indignation as he made a counter,
"The fuck else am I supposed to spend my money on? I hunt all my food and drink, and sleep in a log cabin of my own making!"
Jin went off his shoulder and transformed back into his humanoid state. He also maintained his glare of investigation. Though now it had a twinge of disappointment.
"John....how much money have you spent on Kyomi's stream?"
John began to sweat just a little bit as his face morphed into exaggerated versions of deception and embarrassment along with various "uhhmms" and "hmms". The disappointment on Jin's now much more expressive human face grew exponentially as the seconds went by. Until John scratched the back of his head and gave an answer.
"I don't really have any uses for money outside of nifty gadgets so like... a little over half I think?"
Jin just sat there blinking for a solid 5 seconds.
"You have a problem."
"I have 99 problems, this one doesn't even make the top 50."
Although he couldn't have expected it to go like this, Jin was now intimately discovering why Kaine went to go get more water. Thoughts of the Turtle Soup that would come after soothed his rattled mind as he went to correct his fellow Beast Hunter.
"As true as that hopefully isn't, that isn't how that saying goes. But seriously dude you need to spend your money more productively."
John then went on the defensive in a light-hearted tone.
"Again, I don't have anything to spend the fucking money on! You think I'm like you and I'm gonna spend it on my suga' momma' disgwaced pwetty pwincess? Hell in this place there's about a 50/50 chance she's got a snake in her trousers! Nevermind, she's got "Futa" in the name! Make that a solid 75!"
Jin's glare manifested again more seriously, though still well within in the cheekiness he was known for.
"John. Never vocalize those sounds in that combination ever again."
John chuckled and stood straight up. He folded his left hand behind his back and put his right as a fist over his heart in a a faux-salute.
"The life of a Beast Hunter is constantly in death-defying peril, so they can make no promises."
He sat back down while still talking.
"Honestly though, I'd still hit it."
Jin just looked up at the taller man with bewilderment as the Honey Badger Shapeshifter was "sagely" nodding his head. He decided the best course of action was to banter back and have some fun instead of going into that particular rabbit hole. Or badger burrow in this case.
"Well good thing too, I guarantee you whatever demented spawn you'd produce would manage to kill themselves before they could even walk."
John though, wished to remain in his badger burrow while still chatting it.
"Look Jin, I'm already bought in, you didn't need to sell me."
Kaine had just gotten back to the camp with several dozen gallons of water, perfect for making Turtle Soup Broth. John decided to end this bit of banter on.....certainly a note.
"Well speaking of women I really shouldn't wanna sleep with but totally would, HEY KAINE, YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED?!"
Jin again looked towards his Hunting partner with bewilderment. Does John have a deathwish or something?!
"Are you trying yo get yours-"
He paused for a moment. Using his enhanced brain, he considered the situation and the person involved.
"I'm not even gonna finish that sentence."
Kaine silently wished that she took a much longer time to gather the water. She then decided to question the man specifically.
"The hell is wrong with you?!"
Jin answered that question for him,
"A whole lot, why do you think the Excorcists are always after him? He's got some real bad mojo and probably at least 5 demons crawling about in there."
John then answered for himself,
"Personally I'm of the opinion that all great Beast Hunters have to be a little crazy."
Jin commented on that,
"I'm pretty sure you passed the "Little Crazy" line the moment you went out of the womb, it's all been downhill form there."
Kaine sighed once more, something she figures would become a habit around these chucklefucks.
"Alright John, while I start the soup up why don't you give us some info about Chimera Burrow's since you've done the most of them out of all of us."
"Well, I usually just jump in and start slashing things, everything goes red, and eventually there's no more things to slash at. I dunno much else."
The other two just deadpanned at him. He was supposed to be their expert. Jin then "helpfully" commented,
"We're fucked aren't we."
Kaine then just slowly nodded while John wasn't paying any attention and was starting the fire.
It was going to be a rough Chimera Burrow Raid.