November 15th
hi,, i thought this would be cool, because, i think so much but i can never get my thoughts out to anyone besides nikk... (hallo nikk) i STOLE this idea from ryker, but ive had a idea like this before so.. gulps here we go
its like,, 1:54am right now, and i am THINKING! i just got off the roblox app,, with ryker,, i think he passed out.. theres this stupid game called pet tycoon ive been playing, and i got him into it.. sorry ryker... besides roblox, i suppose i have nothing new in my life. The past few months have been weird, ive felt so out of sorts.
Ive never been good at writing how I feel, so this is kinda weird. I dont think anyone will ever read all of this, because I have lots to say. I kinda think everyone hates me right now, i mean everyone besides Nikk, Angie, and Ryker. I think I drive everyone away, not that I always try to, i think people just get tired of me.
November 16th
i just woke up.. its like 2:30pm.. whoopsies..!!! i had a weird dream, i told nikk about it at like 6am because i was scared, and i passed out after.
4:03 PM me and nikk are talking about the 2000s,, like early 2000s(we are both 17) anyways, i think its funny how badly people like the 2000s despite being like 14, like shut up you were NOT there.. (neither was i.. i was born in like 2007 but it bleed in..) anyways, thats all..
4:56 PM i suppose since this is MY rant section i can vent about stuff,,right? idk, but in the past few weeks ive been missing alot of really bad people. I wonder if they think about me, or if they care about me at all, I wonder if they miss me. I always focus on the bad parts of them, but there was some good, it just sucks the bad parts over throw the good.
9:09 PM i wonder what others think of me.
people are weird.. so weird, like why is no one straightup with me. I dont wanna guess why youre mad at me, just tell me. Like im not gonna play a guessing game to figure out if you wanna talk to me, JUST TELL ME. I feel like people avoid upsetting me because they think ill freak out. It makes me feel like a little kid sometimes
its like 4am but IM SO HAPPY!1!1! i have so many new friends,, like lonko.. hi lonko.. lonko is 17 like me and we both like future diary, and i have a new british friend... whos name idk.. AND a instagram gc!! this is soo cool and awesome omg!!! but angie, andrew, ryk, and nikk are always #1,, first place stars,, BUT IM STILL VERY HAPPY THIS IS SO NICE!! also shoutout farrah for texting my number on some google thing?? sorry this is alot of text.. whooops..
November 17th
some fattie dogged on my music taste.. is my music taste really that bad..? i dont think so, its kinda sad how spotify has like none of the music i liked, yk from soundcloud.. oh well
today was chill, i was calm for most of it. I posted a new edit! which was very overdue, (0bgrimesz) someone dmed me on tiktok asking for a request, so now i have to edit some twitter artist,, but the arts pretty alright so i dont mind. It makes me have to edit anyways.
i texted my old irl friend.. from like 3 years ago, just out of some sort of curiousity. it was weird, she texts like a white girl now thats so funny. Anyways, it didnt go bad, just a bit awkward. glad to know she doesnt wanna rip me apart still!!!...
ive had lots of thoughts today.. according to all the text above anyway. i think im very sad right now though. There is so many things bothering me, but i cant seem to find the words for any of it.
November 18th
my throat hurts.
how come my friends bf doesnt like me but ive never met this dude.. come ON guys, get ur shit together!! whats with people hating me but barley knowing me, what the fuck are you guys telling ur friends/partners abt me bro..
i was upset and like sobbing until i realized i have a better ratio on twt than someone i dislike... TAKE THAT LOSER!1!1!
this discord layout is such utter shit.. the little status bubble is ok.. i guess.. kinda cute idk.. at least they didnt change the whole fucking chat server layout again.
off that topic, i need to research jodi arias more for my BLOG because ive been lacking, so expect more info tmr. Anywayyyyyy,, since everyone sleeps super early now, im not sure who to talk to..
November 19
not much 2 say today
☹☹
im very HAPPY! i dont know why,, BUT I AM! its great, very rare for me.. but its really nice i enjoy it
i called people and i SPOKE and LAUGHED! the world is healing. That was very funny fun times.. i am happy, although i cant hear very well out my left ear..
shout out..
IM LOSING MY SHIT I HATEEEEEEE
everything was fine a few hours ago and it all came crashing down. I feel so ill. I was so happy☹people are so evil, it makes me so sad. I was doing so well these past few days, and I was trying my best to be good. Did I do something wrong? what the fuck.
oh hell no thats it im done goodnight
November 20
i did NOT sleep.. so thats something, i guess. anyways, im angry and sad and slightly tired. fucking hell man
shoot me down so lord help me
im so,, man,, idk anymore, fuck this, DOWN WITH THE THE THE THE!!!!!! feh... ☹☹..... this is so shit, and gross, and uaghhhhh i feel so sick..
November 21
i was crashing out.. sorrryyy guys...
today i got subway, and it was snowing. my order at subway is.. white bread and one cheese. thats IT! idk why....though... picky eater,
im not sure how to feel anymore, so much has gone down in the last 48 hours. Im much more clear headed because i finally went to sleep last night, but im still in a state of shock? everything kept getting worse and worse, and i didnt know what to do, i almost called it quits because i was so done. Angie, Andrew and Nikk were very helpful and i love them all deathly. I suppose there isnt much i can do, i just have to move on and go forward.
November 22
dullcore has been created.. ITS SOOOOO cool guys.. (its just all my banners.) https://pin.it/46W62MGAg
im tired.
November 23
5 likes and ill end my life RIGHT here RIGHT now!!!!
i dont have much to say these past few days. im pretty checked i suppose, sorry.
i thought it was sunday, like all day.. lord have mercy. i am sad and i miss uhmm my friend who isnt my friend anymore. (who will be unnamed for respect reasons) ☹☹☹
November 24
ive been asleep most of today, i dont care to be awake anymore. i only talk to nikk anyways(my KING) but uhm, im done trying to befriend new people lol
i woke up at 5pm.. and then i fell asleep for a good 30 minutes around 7pm.. sorry nikk..
hi ryker if youre seeing this i loveu and i read ur rentry EVERYDAY.. i loafu.. i do infact think about that convo alot. i HATE HATE these LOSERS they did us wrong☹☹justice for ryker 2024/2025/2026
if i have to be honest, i HATED 2024. nothing could have prepared me for anything. I thought that after adam everything would smooth over and id be okay, and that everyone around me would be good. but since that ive been doxxed, leaked, harassed, lost most of the people i care about, someone fucking died? i lost my job, failed like 3 suicide attempts. I dont feel much anymore, i just kinda stare at my phone now, or i sleep. I sleep alot now, pretty much whenever i can. Nobody says anything about it besides nikk because hes kinda the only person who talks to me. Im sorry nikk☹ The only good thing of 2024 was meeting around 5 GOOD people. the rest can burn in hell for all i care. I dont know why alot of people like seeing me hurt, i know im stupid sometimes and i do alot of things that arent good, and often if i could undo them i know i would. I drive people away without meaning for it to happen. I dont know why I do that so much. im to scared to meet anyone new now or trust anyone now. i dont want to keep hurting people either because that seems to be what im good at now.
November 25
well
they want to put me on ANOTHER medication, so id be on 3, am i crazy? he said it was because im ways anxious, but my grandma says that i dont need ANY meds, which i know isnt true. Its hard to figure this all out. Its not like i want to be dependent on meds though,,
November 26
i love nikk and our huzz goals
sorry theres nothing here recently. I doubt anyone reads these, (expect ryker i think) so i guess it doesnt matter, not much to say anyway.
its 4am, aka when i do the BEST thinking. I wonder what others think at 4am. i am a bit tired, my house gets hella warm at night though, and it makes me SWEAT. id rather my house be semi cold, but not freezing.. yk..?
November 27
uhmmmm what! FACE DOWN ASS UP! THATS THE WAY WE LIKE 2 FUCK! (stream fucking in space invasion edit on soundcloud )
ok i have some things 2 SAY(purple heart emoji) first and for most, i miss 2023, i am bringing the breakcore era BACK. SECOND of all, FUCK that FAT LOSER NIGGER LOVING MEXICAN KID TOUCHER RETARD! Third of all, i love editing. I am a PRO at editing. FOURTH of all, this remix is AMAZING IM GONNA BUST! and LAST! hi
haha im happy and YOURE miserable! POINTS AND LAUGHS! at least from what youre shitty ugly layed out neocities says.. BOO! that sucks! haha! get on my level loser! 5 points for ME
waaaaa im so happy i feel so happy im NOT USED TO YHIS
random memory, last time i was in the psychward, angie gave me her number and i called her at the psychward, and so she gave the number to my ex(we were tg at the time)((adam..)) and i recall that he was crying on the otherline, and i didnt wanna hangup or leave because i missed him so much. i almost cried calling angie aswell, i just asked her how she was and said i was ok and what not. Anyway, back to adam, the whole reason i went to the psychward was.. because of him.. ironic isnt it?
i miss my friend who isnt my friend anymore ☹i wonder how he is
November 28
uhhh
DO NOT REPOST THE SAME VIDEO AS ME U FAT BASTARD!
its snowing.
the most recent edit i posted.. tiktok made it SO offbeat. ifu wanna see it.. not off beat, DM ME CUZ IM PROUD OF IT
if u saw me crashout no u didnt.
November 29
DANCE PARTY!1!1!1! (im very tired now...)
lots to say, feels a bit personal though. I dont know who reads this.. (besides ryker) a bit scared i suppose.
not a fan of people anymore
id write more but i dont really,, idk, want to get into the depth of everything, fuck you though hermit u a bitch fr and ill sit and explain why ong
i hate this song i hate this song i hate this song
November 30
im kinda tired.. i slept for like 2-3 hours? it was nice waking up to nikks 34 messges though, king HAS to tell me about our goat..
should note nikk was telling me about tanya and artem..
hermit is a LOSER and i will BULLY him as much as i CAN. he unadded me because hes stupid and now he will run to his friends and go "kenny is mean! my life is betternwithout him.." its not my fault you treat everyone else like shit.. youre weird and you make people miserable. if youre reading this FUCK you hermit. anyway, its getting super cold out.. and.. my backyard lake froze over..
if i had to pick hermit or my other opps, id pick my other opps. if i had to pick hermit or getting attacked by a bear, id pick the bear. if i had to pick between hermit or a woke fat obese black person, id pick the woke fat obese black person.
nikk has a rentry now! his is much nicer.. i lesrned today he READS mine!! hi nikk!! let me get a bit sappy, nikk is my bestfriend. like.. that guy knows everything. id talk to him for hours over anyone else, i like his dad2.. even though weve never rlly met. Nikk understands me very well, i used to freakout big time when i had the dokuro chan server. and block like.. everyone.. but i never blocked him☹(purple heart) sometimes i feel like hes saved me in alot of ways. THE POINT IS I LOVE NIKK!!
also we are basically like red string theory
thanku nikk for helping make rentry fire.. iloveu.. kingshit..
@nikk hi