By the time you read this letter, my dearest son, your innocence will have long since been lost. That is my one and only hope to the dangers that await you. For you know I have only wished the best for you.

For too long I've told you the tales of my old exploration guild. Back when you were innocent, that would've been the time to reminisce about the good times, and nothing but the good. For far too long have I been shielding you of the veil of depravity that you must certainly have been acquainted with by now. The world is too much for one hatchling to bear, and my love was too deep for you to be made aware of the true evil lurking within others.

But I get ahead of myself. You remember Phanpy, old friend that he once was? It had been one too many days, one too many bitter experiences between us that drove a rift into our friendship. I was no longer welcome in his room, though I never left the team. For that accursed period of time, that was long enough for that dreaded day to happen.

I had been assigned to other living quarters with only hay to keep me company, bereft of that precious cotton. Old Phanpy and the rest really had it against me for that incident... but I digress. A few days came by. Your father, back then a... precocious Cyndaquil had the time of his life there for a while! Oh, to be young and precocious! To be the ladies' (and gentlemen's!) man and be left to my own devices! Particularly lonely were those bygone days, but I welcomed that loneliness oh so much...

Until... he arrived. The newest arrival, my dear son, would set in motion events that would scar me for life. He was a former human like your old man. It's not time for you to disbelieve me this time, my former hatchling! Yes, a human he was... and tried as I might I couldn't get through to him. I preferred females, but back then in my youthful stupor I couldn't resist such a body like his. Try as I might I couldn't get to him. For he was too distracted with the fact that he was a male. To wit, he used to be a male in his previous life, but he could not accept the fact that he did not end up as a female here. He was one of those kinds of people! I knew it... it was a shame that he could not become the perfect female I knew he could become with that species. A shame... but that became the least of my concerns.

He was obsessed. Obsessed, I tell you! Even more obsessed than any man-who-would-be-woman would be! He would spurn his body. Spurn everything about it. And the reality being that... he was not one of those people. The wretched man did not want to become a woman in the way I thought he would.

But days turned into weeks. The mysterious Pokémon did not respond to my advances, nor well nor badly. Merely, he ceased to respond. I woke up, and he would look at the window, still as a statue. Desperate to wish he were female, I assumed!

Then... he snapped. The entire room that day... I will never forget it for as long as I live. Pale slime wreathed the entire room in a ghostly film. Bed destroyed. Window turned into an unceremonious crack. My roommate was never heard from again. And he left a note...

ㅤㅤ"Males are a blight. All of them must be castrated
ㅤㅤas I have been. Nature must correct its course.
ㅤㅤBy the time I'm done, no males from my species will remain"

I leave you and mother with all my love. With any luck, I still won't be long for the afterlife.

The horrors this creature committed... Someone needs to put a stop to it! My own kin will never be hunted down and castrated! For that is a fate worse than death! Unlike your mother, I'm afraid you won't be spared, my Goomy boy.

For Goodras to him... had to be female only.

-Typhlosion, your dearest dad.


Phanpy enters the room. "Cyndaquil, what are you--UGH, WHAT THE HELL, CYNDAQUIL?!"

Cyndaquil has finally finished writing the hurried letter, right in the middle of the apocalyptic mess of pale slime that crazed Sligoo produced in the room. Not that Phanpy would know about it...

"Phanpy! Th-this... for ONCE this isn't what it looks like, I SWEAR!" Cyndaquil exclaims.

The utterly disgusted elephant's trunk is retracted and wrinkled, as if shielding himself from the miasma of mysterious goo. "If THIS is what you were up to while away then... then... ugh, just come back already, unfortunately you need supervision. And don't even THINK of doing this at our room. Clean up before Lliam yells at me!"

Phanpy slams the door shut, splashing several strands of goo onto the floor. Cyndaquil is left behind with his heartfelt letter. His son-to-be will soon be made aware of the danger. This, he is sure about.

Edit

Pub: 02 Apr 2026 04:10 UTC

Edit: 02 Apr 2026 17:56 UTC

Views: 141