!! ⚠ SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTS OF TAKING ONE'S LIFE, SELF HARM, AND OTHER DEPRESSIVE AND/OR SUICIDAL TOPICS. THERE ARE ALSO MENTIONS OF ABUSE. ⚠ !!

Listening to Touya explain what happened during the three years he was gone, it reminded me. My mental health had met an all-time low. I had lost my firstborn son, the boy I loved with my whole heart, even if I showed it improperly. I yelled at him for using his quirk because I was scared. Scared of what would happen to him due to his body physically being incapable of handling his quirk. I was scared of losing him because of it. But I knew he wouldn't listen. That's why I turned to yelling at him. Because he was my son. He was like me. He never gave up. He never wanted to give up. Ever. All I wanted was to keep him safe. I never wanted to lose him. I cried nearly every single day during those three years. And even while I was with Rei, I just couldn't bear it. If I had gone to Sekoto Peak, then maybe... Maybe he would still be with me, but no. I was scared. Scared of my own son. Because I thought that if I had gone he would have gone beyond his limits. That I would have watched him kill himself. Eventually, during the three years he was gone. I picked up self-harm. I had once even ended up in the emergency room for it. I lied and said I was attacked by a stray cat so that I wouldn't be put on mental leave as a hero. After nearly four months of doing this to myself, I had made an attempt on my life. I led a villain to a rooftop and pretended to be cornered at the edge of the building. The villain pushed me off, and I wasn't making a move to save myself. I was going to let myself splatter on the ground. But, Hawks was there, and he saved me. That idiot... Saved me. And I don't understand why. I've treated him like absolute garbage. I had even gone as far as to physically abuse him at one point, and yet he still saved me. Months later, I had tried to hang myself at Sekoto Peak, but the branch I chose gave out on me before I had even passed out. I burned the rope and hid the mark behind my costume. I also wore a scarf beneath it, but that doesn't matter. I tried to kill myself so many goddamn times because the guilt of Touya's death had overwhelmed me. I was broken beyond repair. I couldn't handle anything. My emotions were overwhelming, and any sort of touch caused me to lash out at people. No matter what, I could never be normal again. I was a worthless man, a horrible father, a piece of shit husband, and an unworthy hero.

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Pub: 29 Jan 2025 15:55 UTC

Edit: 29 Jan 2025 17:40 UTC

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