Golisopod Story - The Human Wimpod Evolved
You can't help yourself, you have to peek again
Looking through the blinds you can see that it's still there. A “Sudowoodo” the dex called it, standing atop a stump in your neighbor's yard.
Its empty, beady eyes staring off into space, not moving an inch, like a statue. . .
A chill goes down your spine and you close the blinds.
It had been two weeks since it appeared there.
Two weeks trapped inside your home.
Somehow the world kept turning, you didn't know how. People still drove and walked down the street like nothing was wrong.
They were idiots. Not you. You listened to the CDC, you weren't going to get infected and turn into one of those things.
You tried to sleep as little as possible after hearing horror stories of people waking up changed.
You were going to get through this with your humanity intact.
Your stomach growled
You tried to ration food but that thing showed up just before your weekly grocery run, so you didn't have much on hand.
You were terrified that in the small amount of time it took to get in your car you would catch something and wake up a monster.
You'll just drink some water to push back the hunger.
The cool water manages to calm your anxieties somewhat, it’s refreshing, relaxing.
You manage to stop pacing and plant your ass on the couch with a sigh.
It feels like the whole world is coming apart, but right now your only focus is on the plush cushions that feel like heaven to your sleep deprived mind.
You close your eyes and rest for what feels like the first time in years.
. . .
Wait. Stop. This sort of carelessness is what gets people transformed. You bolt upright as fast as your lethargic body permits.
But something's wrong. You can feel it. Your back doesn't bend the same as before.
You look down at your hands.
Fuck.
You didn’t think you were exposed to any pokemon, so how did this happen?
You checked the clock and you were half asleep on the couch for only five minutes.
Now there's a giant purple isopod inside your mirror looking back at you.
Is this thing even a pokemon? You just look like a regular pocket-free monster.
you're vaguely reminded of a book you read in high school about a guy waking up as a giant cockroach.
Moving your new body is strange
The two big arms with the claws are easy enough to move but you can’t get the little arms to do more than curl inward.
You can’t use your nose anymore as it doesn’t exist, but your antenna can smell just fine.
At least you're tall now.
you’ve gained a few inches in height even in your hunched posture.
The only thing that's the same is that you're still incredibly hungry. Actually you're even hungrier now that you're bigger.
The fridge has some condiments, but nothing more.
The cabinets contain little else except half a jar of peanut butter.
You'll take what you can get.
. . .
The jar of peanut butter sits on the counter like a gored deer. Its shredded carcass has been licked and scraped clean of any PB you could get your claws on.
You couldn't get the lid off.
And you're still hungry.
You've the strangest craving for seafood. Lobster, crab legs, fried shrimp, fish cakes, salmon, cod, tuna, anything at his point.
You don’t even know what cod tastes like but the mental image gets your mouth watering.
Just one problem, you don't have any of that stuff, and to get some you'd have to go outside.
Where the sudowoodo is.
And other people.
Your stomach growls.
There is one place you know that might have something, but there’s no way you’re going to fit inside of your car. You’ll just have to get there on foot.
luckily the sun is starting to set so you can travel under the cover of darkness.
You hear it before you can see the headlights.
Thinking quickly you dive behind some foliage between you and the road
The headlights move past you.
you’ve been at this for what feels like hours, but you know you're close.
You didn't spend all that time sneaking past that tree thing in your neighbor's yard to give up now.
With your wallet safely in the grasp of one of your little arms, you continue on your quest.
Soon enough you can see it. A convenience store off to the side of a gas station.
you run over to the double doors as fast as your legs can take you.
Nobody is inside save for the cashier who's fast asleep at the register.
There’s not much that interests you in the freezer section, it’s mostly ice cream and beer.
In the last freezer all the way at the bottom, you see it.
A single bag of frozen fishsticks.
With your prize between your claws you go to leave but it seems like the cashier woke up.
She’s hiding behind the counter looking at you.
”N-no it’s just kinda wandering around”
And she's talking to someone.
“What! No, that thing’s gonna kill me! H-how long until they get here?”
She’s definitely on the phone with the police. Shit.
Based on her reaction you’re definitely going to get shot on sight.
Better make this quick.
Dropping the fishsticks on the counter causes her to flinch.
”Just this, please.” You say, all cool and casual like.
Unfortunately your new body gave you a bit of an accent so it sounded more like-
KCHCHCHCHC SCREEEEE
Her eyes dart between you and the fishsticks a few times before she realizes what you want.
”Th-th-that’ll b-be eh-eleven f-fifty s-six”
You pinch your wallet with one of your big claws and pull out a twenty.
You’re also a bit nervous and put the bill down with a little too much force, accidently punching a pair of holes clean through the bill and the counter.
The cashier is shaking now, but otherwise completely frozen.
you take your prize and leave.
The trip home felt longer than the trip to the store.
You weren't taking any chances, after that reaction from the cashier there was no way you could get spotted.
The real challenge was getting past the sudowoodo.
You kept your eyes on it the moment you could see it, never letting it out of sight.
One slip up, one moment of carelessness would give it all the time in the world to run up and club you to death with its big rocky leaf-hand-things.
Slowly, making no sudden movements, you slipped back into your home.
Once safe inside you practically collapsed, exhausted and panting, but alive, and successful with your mission.
You didn’t care to cook the fishsticks right now, you needed to eat.
Just like the PB jar, the bag was no match for your new claws.
One by one they disappear until the bag is empty.
With one need satisfied another rears its head
you’ve probably only slept a total of six hours in the last week. And transforming didn’t change that at all.
You stumble into your bedroom and flop down onto the mattress.
At least you can lay somewhat flat on your stomach.
Your arms and legs still drape over the sides though.
At least you don’t have to worry about transforming anymore, or being in contact with pokemon.
Well, they are still extremely dangerous, super-powered monsters.
Was the CDC right when they called it a virus? As far as you can tell you weren't in contact with any pokemon and you were magically transformed in less than five minutes of half consciousness.
Magic.
yeah, that sounds about right. Maybe there wasn’t any logic to what was happening, just some random interdimensional incident.
This is starting to sound like some eldritch horror story.
You don’t really want to think about something like that, you just want to sleep.
So you close your eyes and pass out.
Throughout the day you had discovered many things about yourself.
First, you could thankfully still use a keyboard.
This allowed you to tell your boss you were going to be using all of your vacation time.
Second, you are what’s known as a “Golisopod”
You were supposed to be a giant kickass samurai bug, but you didn’t feel that way.
You couldn’t do any of the cool shit you saw on youtube like making water swords or firing missiles out of your back.
And third, you're still hungry.
You’ve been planning to make another run to the convenience store but you can’t build the courage to do it until night falls.
If that cashier’s reaction was any indication then the general public would most likely prefer you stay away.
Darkness eventually came and with it, opportunity.
Slipping out of the back door, and sneaking past the monster in your neighbor’s yard you went on your merry way.
Unfortunately when you made it to the gas station again there was someone there.
You wanted to avoid leaving the sparse foliage until you were certain that it was safe.
Eventually they stepped out of the store and drove off.
Rushing through the double doors, you were met with a very much awake cashier.
It was the same one as the night before.
The moment she saw you she let out a frightened squeak and froze.
Better make this quick
B-Lining it to the fish freezer you discovered that the fishsticks had been restocked.
Just two should be fine for now. . . actually maybe three would be better. Or four.
This time when you approached the register the cashier didn’t lock up, but she was still looking around nervously
You put the fishsticks on the counter and she scanned them
”F-Fouty-six, twenty four. Please”
Grabbing some bills from your wallet you place them on the counter (gently this time) feeling a pang of guilt as you spy the holes you made last time.
As you go to leave, you hear her call out to you.
”Have a good day-night, I-I mean night”
You turn around to face her “You too”
She flinches
Shit, right, your “accent”
You turn back around and leave the store in a rush.the moment you’re outside your skin crawls. Something is watching you.
You turn left, then right without seeing anything.
And then you look up.
Perched on the gas station canopy is a bird.
It stands like a person and is just as tall, its feathers are an eye-catching neon green.
And its eyes, its far too human eyes, are staring right into your soul.
You move slowly, shuffling along the side of the convenience store keeping the bird in sight.
Its head doesn't move, but its eyes are still looking.
Once you’re a safe distance away you bolt, making as much distance as possible.
You can’t tell if it’s chasing you so you keep running.
Only once you’re out of breath do you take a moment to scan the sky.
Nothing, good.
You plop down on someone's lawn, putting a bush between you and the road and praying that the homeowner isn’t awake right now.
Thank god you decided to grab multiple bags of fishsticks, you weren’t going to be leaving your house for the foreseeable future after that.
It’s a real shame you’re a giant crustacean monster, otherwise you could go outside during the day with other people. Safety in numbers and all that.
But no, you are a big scary bug from hell that makes people piss their pants when they see you.
You nearly gave that poor cashier a heart attack yesterday.
At least she wasn’t as frightened today.
Hmmm
That thought makes you feel . . . Disappointment?
Something about her acclimating to your presence leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
She shouldn’t feel safe around you.
You should be big and intimidating, that way nobody will pick a fight with you.
You’ve never thought of it that way before, but now it just seems right.
Yes, you are scary, and that’s good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl9FQIT-6iY
You peek at it from around your house.
It doesn’t move, just keeps looking off into the night sky.
Deep breaths now, you can do this, you’re scary.
With hesitant steps you move to the front of your house.
you can’t tell if it can see you.
You creep up to the side of the road.
No reaction.
There's no time for hesitation, if you want to look strong you can’t be shaking like a leaf.
You cross the road with bold strides, ironically the closer you get to your neighbor’s yard the less you shake, the easier it becomes to keep up the façade.
You come up to the stump it’s standing on, looking it in the eyes.
Perfect poker face, both of you.
”G-Get out of here” you stutter out, like a complete dumbass. Hopefully it can’t understand you.
It makes no indication of having heard you.
”GO” you say a little louder “GO AWAY”
It flinches but otherwise stays rooted.
Its flinch makes you flinch, but you quickly put up the mask again.
Fuck. It's like dealing with a spider, you can’t tell when it will move or if it’s just going to jump at your face.
If words alone won’t work.
You raise a claw like youre about to strike and shout “FUCK OFF!”
You feel your heart leap out of your chest as the thing screeches and skedaddles away.
You let out a sigh of relief as you watch it waddle down the street at incredible speed.
Only to watch in horror as the sudowoodo stops and roots itself in place on someone else’s lawn a few houses down.
Whatever, at least it’s not looking into your window anymore.
Your neighbor’s yard is suddenly filled with light.
To your horror one of the lights is on and there’s a silhouette of a person in the window.
Hoping against all odds they didn’t see you, you scamper back into your house and slam the door.
Flopping back on to your bed helps your heart rate steadily drop.
Today was too much. But you feel pride welling up in your chest when you replay the memory of spooking that sudowoodo.