‎ ‎ ‎RENTRY/NOTHINGS-FAIR-IN-LOVE-AND-WAR

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎BEFORE YOU INTERACT !! ‎ ‎ ‎
‎ ‎
‎ ‎When you can't even say my name
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Has the memory gone? Are you feeling numb?


‎ ‎ I'm not good at holding conversations so it usually gets‎ ‎ ‎ ‎awkward for me when I talk to new people!! I am often‎ ‎ ‎ ‎quiet especially when I'm tired, overwhelmed or i'm not‎ ‎ ‎ ‎sure on what to say next in the conversation.
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Another thing is that I hate messaging first as I‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎always overthink that i'm just bothering someone with‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎my constant messaging so I just go quiet until someone‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎messages me.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎I am usually seen by myself or with a friend or two,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎this is because I don't really enjoy talking in a large‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎group of people, something about them makes me feel‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎overwhelmed and uneasy so I tend to avoid them to the‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎best to my ability. So I much prefer hanging out with‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎atleast 1 person or 2 people to make me feel at ease.
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎I dislike talking about my issues and problems to‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎other people, I feel like i'm oversharing and that i know‎ ‎ ‎i'll regret talking about it afterwards, I tend to bottle‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎up my feelings until it gets worse, I am aware of this‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ongoing problem however i just hate expressing my‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎problems. I also firmly believe that People are out to‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎get me, which is why I do not like explaining any issues‎ ‎ ‎that I might have out of fear that people who share‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎those messages with their friends.
‎ ‎I have reoccurring jealously issues and i tend to‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎overthink things alot. i dislike it when I find out that‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎I've gotten attached to someone as i feel like I'm going‎ ‎ ‎ ‎to be a total failure and mess everything up. I tend to‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎self sabotage myself in various ways when i start to feel‎ ‎ ‎distant such as telling myself that i'm better off by‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎myself, ignoring messages, push people away, etc. I also‎ ‎ ‎tend to stay away when my friends are talking to other‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎people, this is out of fear that i'll get jealous and it'll‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎resort to going back to self sabotaging myself all over‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎again.
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Pub: 29 Aug 2025 15:25 UTC

Edit: 30 Sep 2025 00:42 UTC

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