Hello , i realised i burden my friends with my feelings far too much , so made this url as a place to vent ! I'm sorry if you accidentally found this whilst url hopping . I assure you im fine !

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My mum yelled at me yesterday , she said that because im here tge family cant get out of this mouldy house , she didn't even thank me for cleaning the living room either , i cleaned up to make life easier for her and she basically said my existence is a burden . But i can't exactly move out , i get £60 a week that isn't enough for rent and food . Maybe i could live in a tent but how would i cook food then ? And talking about food , ive been bringing it up to my mum gently for months that she never actually gets food for me . My little sister gets a range of foods , crêpes , brioches , red + blue crisps , ect because of her sensory issues . My brother gets biscuits, ice creams ect . Everything in the house everyone else eats ,, but its very well known i don't eat them due to my own sensory issues ! I can only eat at college , and on the weekends its awful ! I can only eat toast for breakfast . We as a household don't eat lunch and there's no snacks i can force myself to eat ! Im grateful for even being able to eat breakfast but i just think everyone else has a kitchen full of food they can eat , i can only breakfast and what my mother makes for tea , and even then she's not opposed to making something everyone else will eat that she knows i wont . And when i complain I'm just told , " you have your own money " or " cook your own ! " And that wouldn't be an issue if people didn't eat things i buy for myself . :c when i buy my own my brother will eat it , and he gets no reprocutions . I cant even hide the food in my room as we share a room due to over crowding . I believe this is a big reason for my binge eating disorder , i eat two meals a day so when i get the chance to snack like when i have money i eat so much because i know when my money runs out I'll be back to those meals , its a bad habit i need to get rid of :c i think im going to go get a job so i can get some more money and buy my own food , ill tell my mum not to make tea for me , ill make it myself and save up to move out as soon as possible , im only 17 so it is pretty scary but im sure ill get used to it ! For now ill do more housework so she won't get mad at me , even if it is hard with college , ill just work harder ! I feel so bad asking for anything in this household , even for something as small as a pack of biscuits . Everyone gets so angry i don't know what to do . Mum always yells and tells me to help out around the house but couldn't bother to thank me when i cleaned up . I hate being a burden to this family , being the reason they're stuck in a moldy , broken house . Maybe if i feed myself they'll have the money for those 2 meals a day ! But is £60 enough for 3 meals every day .. im not quite sure ,, maybe i can stick to cheap microwave meals , they're around £2 so £2 x 3 is £6 a day , and then £6 x 7 is ,, £42 .. ill have enough but not alot left over ,, i should stick to 2 meals a day , thats much more manageable that'll only be £28 so ill still have half leftover !! But if i get a job ill have even more ! >:D

Update : i did more cleaning ! I cleaned the living room , paired the socks , took the clean clothes up and am going to wash the dishes now >:3 hopefully this is enough to lessen the burden for now , it doesn't make up for robbing everyone of a healthy house but hopefully I'll move out soon ,, im super proud of myself for doing so many chores ! My mums drinking tonight tho so i probably won't hear from her until tomorrow . Oh wellz i have moar cleaning to do !

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Pub: 25 Jun 2024 13:56 UTC

Edit: 27 Nov 2025 14:22 UTC

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