Professor Decidueye
Average height, mostly humanoid body, and a clear mind. When people around the world are waking up turned into pokemon with intrusive thoughts, and you, a math professor at the local research university luck out with an easy transformation, what could go wrong?
My vision for this character is that he’s smart enough to get himself out of any situation, but also smart enough to completely psych himself out. The key is to not let himself get in his own way.
Intro
oh god, they’re going to call you the pokemon professor
it didn’t help you just happened to end up as a grass type too so they could make tree puns
the start of a new school year always brings in new concerns but the world has certainly changed since last spring
there were lots of dumb names for it used on the news, everything from fictionalization to pokegeddon, but nothing ever stuck
lots of people, wildlife and livestock were turning into pokemon
as fantastical as it was for the first couple months, it also became inexplicably boring
if it didn’t hit you or someone you knew, life was basically exactly the same
there were concerns at first about whether it was contagious or infectious somehow
this is where being a professor at a research university had its advantages
when you woke up as a gangly owl person after graduation ceremonies had wrapped up, you immediately confided in your colleagues in the biology departments
immediately being, as soon as you could figure out the logistics of a beak and your vocal chords
even now, your speech is a little whistle-click-y but you swear it’s more intelligible than the average indian youtube tutorial your students used
you were good enough friends for the research team to keep the change a secret for a while
you weren’t the first case ever reported, but as the first one in the city, you did represent a major opportunity for them
all the talk of antibodies, epigenetics, contact-tracing, and epidemiology went over your head
but as a mathematician, you could appreciate when the statistics said you were an outlier
you also really appreciated the confirmation that you wouldn’t spread it to anyone else
when they published their study on the possibility of transmission, no one knew you were represented as Test Subject C
of course, the early days were still rough but you really couldn’t complain much
your wings come with three semi-dexterous padded “fingers” (two digits and a thumb) that blended in with the feathers, meaning you could retain the most basic utility
your knees bent backwards but you could still walk and had a height similar to your old body meaning things still fit you
flight still eluded you, but the rational fears of jumping off a cliff or falling if your body failed were likely contributors
apparently this body was built for archery?
you shed most of the quills daily but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t keep a couple just in case the homeless that hung out around campus decided you were reading their thoughts
the vision improvements were a welcome addition
you remembered when you learned you were a secondary ghost type
you hoped that didn’t mean you were legally dead or something
in the end, it didn’t amount to much more than the occasional “feeling dead inside” joke that was just a little too macabre to ever land properly
with having to face your first semester as the birdman on campus, the feeling was even more apt
the department chair offered to let you host virtual classes or to return to campus depending on your comfort level
you pushed through it, relying on the combination of your desire to see students succeed, and the dread of returning to online learning
if there were people willing to learn, it was up to you to share your knowledge
and thus, when a crowd of young adults packed into an amphitheater with the usual trepidation of a new semester, you met them, bizarre leaf hoodie and all
Q&A
“Although basically cool and cautious, when it's caught by surprise, it's seized by panic.”
What a strange way to word it
Doesn’t everyone feel that way when their plans don’t work out the way they think they will?
You were always a cautious and procedural person, that’s why you became a math major
Of course, in order to be a reasearcher, you needed to earn your keep and serve as a professor for undergraduate classes
If no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy, then no lesson plan survives first contact with students
whether the horoscope level writing from the video game was right or not, you needed to prepare materials
the master slide deck could still be used as the textbook and course standards from the department hadn’t changed
writing new problems for quizzes and exams wouldn’t be an issue
but the little things were nagging at you
do you update your profile photos in the school directory?
how much do you have to explain in the syllabus?
what do you say? “Here’s my CV, my list of citations, my pokedex number, and my office hours”
then there was the question of dealing with the students in person
campus police offered protection, but you hoped that wasn’t necessary
besides, during your isolation you had figured out the basics of how to fire the quills by practicing in the back yard
those cans never knew what hit them
anyway, back to how to handle students seeing you for the first time
someone more bold and theatrical might let the students build up in the classroom and then you make a big entrance, maybe even dropping down from the ceiling
that’s absurd
the first day of class is throwaway syllabus review but also about setting expectations
no, you’ll have to go in early and get everything set up and welcome students as they come in
thankfully you were in the same building all day and only had to change classrooms
imagine if you had to walk across campus and the potential crowds you’d draw
imagine flying above it all though, that’s sounds fu-
dangerous. That sounds dangerous. Not fun at all in fact
besides, how would you even carry around your laptop bag?
in your talons like some kind of freshly hunted mouse?
due to the logistics of having wings attached to your arm, you didn’t really have many options
backpacks were out of the question and messenger bags had to either hang around your neck, or effectively pin your non-dominant wing to your body
time for the briefcase to make a return
on a related note, you never talked with the department about your new dress code
you had discovered that curling your talons and working slowly meant you could put on underwear and pants without ending up with jeans that looked like they had been in a motorcycle accident
if that was sufficient for meeting with the board, that was good enough for students
your natural feathers even resembled a bowtie if you squinted so you were effectively good to go
time to drive on to campus
you probably aren’t thankful enough about how compatible this body is with human society
nothing like traffic and parking to remind you that the more things change, the more they stay the same
a professor turned into a “wise owl”?
what hack writer came up with this?
the irony had failed to connect until someone pointed it out about half way through greeting students in your first class
had anyone else noticed and they never pointed it out to you?
how had you not noticed it?
Any other questions from the gallery?
Can you fly? Why not?"
"Sooo we decided birds need to wear pants?"
"How do you feel about the state of human-Pokemon relations and the -insert long political spiel about Pokemon suffering oppression, whether real or imagined, here-"
To paraphrase a common quote “I see myself not living as a bird, only a human temporarily embarrassed”
That should explain my attire and summarize my political views if you get the reference.
As for flight… well… that one’s still on the todo list I guess.
I don’t suppose any aerospace students could reserve me time in the wind tunnel eh? No, just kidding, don’t worry about it.
We’ll have time for more questions after we get through the syllabus
Welcome to MAT 222 Fundamentals of Linear Algebra
If that’s not the class you signed up for, run while you still can
Let’s go over the learning objectives for the course
[30 minutes later]
We have some time left for more questions and if we don’t get to you, there’s always office hours or email me to set up another time
"So you really think they'll find a way to turn Pokemon back into humans? What if they don't?"
Frankly, I have no idea
If you told me a year ago this was happening, I would have said it was impossible
Then again, for a long time people thought human flight was impossible
Or that it was impossible to travel into outer space
Its an unknown right now, but the more we can learn, the better we can try to understand it
Turning back might look impossible right now, but that doesn’t mean it always will be
"What if they don't and what if they don't want to turn back into humans? Do you?"
In some ways, that’s an even harder question
Did you know that in many deaf communities, getting a cochlear implant to restore hearing carries a strong social stigma, sometimes leading to basically excommunication?
Things that may seem like disabilities can become a core part of a person or group’s identity so the decision to remove them isn’t always clear
Myself, I think I’d like to change back given the chance
I really can’t complain, however, as I’ve been inexplicably lucky with the form I now take
There are so many possible ways I could have been turned into something worse for living a normal life
Obvious furry in the front row raises his hand excitedly.
“What do you think caused it? Were you doing anything differently right before it happened?”
Ponytail girl in the second row goes next.
“What do you eat? Like, mice or people food or… whatever Pokemon eat? Berries?
(guy)
uh… I don’t want to uh, disappoint you or anything but no, nothing out of the ordinary and I don’t know what could have caused it
I just woke up one morning like this and that was that
It’s not like I even stay up late and this is some cruel “night owl” joke the universe is playing on me
Based on research that a team at this very campus published, we now know for sure that it isn’t transmissible in any way
I also know that one of the undergrad student teams was putting together a somnology capstone project to try to connect changes to sleep stages
They pay $20 a week if you sleep with a tracker wristband and chest strap
The odds of catching a change are like finding a needle in the entire country’s supply of hay, but you never know
If nothing else, that ought to help you offset that dining plan bill and move on from ramen and lentils right?
(Girl)
oof, speaking of dining huh?
No, thankfully I mostly eat the same things you would and I used to
Being some kind of “plant type” creature, I’ll admit that I enjoy salads a touch more than I used to
Thankfully the owl styled part of this body still needs meat so I’m definitely an omnivore like before
This may be getting personal, but I will say that going outside for some son definitely feels better than before
Being cooped up in my office or in a classroom and then getting to just sit outside and feel the light on me for a few minutes is a real pick me up
Again, I’m going to pin that on the plant typing of my new body.
Figuring out how you eat and drink with a beak was by far the most involved change to deal with after learning to talk
Sunset
Force = Mass * Acceleration
You were a mathematician, not a physicist
The purity of the field and its universal applications were what drew you to it
You knew the basics and frequently used them to explain concepts in the courses you taught
A ladder sliding down a building, a solution being mixed in a tank and the population of predators and prey were all common setups for questions in the textbooks you utilized
Gravitational Potential Energy = Mass * Height * Acceleration due to Gravity
How high were you?
Assuming 10 feet per floor, this had to be at least 50 feet up, probably more
You were standing near the railing of the top floor of faculty parking structure
The solar panels above you gave a constant 60Hz hum to enjoy while looking over the campus
Coming up on six months since the change occurred
You really wished they would settle on a name for it already.
You weren’t usually introspective but you couldn’t help but contemplate how far you’d come
The change was one thing but living your life almost as if nothing had happened was something else altogether
By now some preliminary research about the mental toll and intrusive thoughts of those that had been changed were coming out, ranging from past lives to instinctive tendencies
When you woke up as this owl thing, you immediately tried to be as purposeful as possible in everything you did
Thinking about your own thoughts was grueling but it seems like it helped you somehow
Not once did you crave a mouse or try to hide in a tree or anything like that
Volunteering with the research team probably helped too as you were under observation while still socializing with your no-longer-fellow humans
By now things had stabilized but the lingering fear stayed in the back of your mind
Had you let yourself slip somehow and didn’t even notice?
Even now, looking over your workplace of the last few years you appreciated the view
Was this some kind of hunting instinct, or were you just enjoying the sunset after a long day from a view you never appreciated before?
The key was never getting too wrapped up in second guessing yourself
Your first reaction, if it made sense, was probably right
The nightly wind picked up and you could feel it around you
The feathers and leaves of your cloak-like wings kept you from feeling the chill of the early autumn air
And yet, more ideas came to you
It was the feeling of wind in your hair spread out over your entire body
Man had always dreamt of flying and here you were in a body that seemed to be capable of it
You looked over the edge of the railing and with your enhanced eyesight, could see the grass just as clearly as if you were standing on the ground next to it
An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force
Gripping the railing tight, you could almost visualize diving down and soaring back up even higher than the building before banking over and circling around
Almost.
An object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by an external force.
Not today.
You have papers to grade and study guides to prepare for the midterm exams
You let go of the railing and back away from the ledge
You just need to get through this week and then Fall Break would be coming up
Jumping off a building would be insane
Everyone gets those “call of the void” thoughts though, nothing wrong with that
You probably wouldn’t have the strength in your wings anyway
Maybe someday
Drive Home
Traffic, traffic, and always more traffic
Jammed heading in
Gridlock coming home
Enough to make anyone want to live in the forest and never have to hear the phrase zipper merge ever again
Old Teddy K even finished some of his mathematical proofs in his shack, among his other work.
Probably best not to dwell on that, given your math background and looking like a forest dweller yourself
There’s always the radio to pass the time
”ROCK ROCK AND MORE ROCK ON 102.3”
youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0
Office hours had been slow but that’s not unexpected
Even when you gave one point of extra credit to anyone who came in, a trick you developed a couple years ago, students regularly avoided it
On the one hand, that made you glad to know you weren’t a freak they wanted to come gawk at
The average person still had never seen a person who had been transformed, but they were common enough now that most everyone knew someone who did.
The number of people changing was still growing
Not enough to cause true panic, but not enough to be ignored
Just enough to cause mild unease as everyone went about their day because society just wouldn’t collapse
Like some kind of runaway steamroller at 2 mph, or like the pile of laundry in the corner that never gets completely put away
”Pop on in! 101.1!”
youtube.com/watch?v=EvuL5jyCHOw
Huh.
You had a good group of students this semester
Still a little freaked out about the obvious furry in that one class, but they’ve kept their distance
Lots of bioengineers and chem majors, for obvious reasons
Sequencing the human genome was great and all
Now do it again with 100s of fantastical creatures somehow derived from humans
You wondered what the future held for them, including you
Would this lead to major breakthroughs, or further exploitation?
Right now the idea of selling parts of your self if you were transformed was somewhere between “selling bath water” and “selling janky handmade crafts on Etsy”
”Stay Jazzy and feel yourself drift away on 103.5”
youtube.com/watch?v=HfQnc08dNng
Okay, that’s funny.
With fall coming, you had been briefly concerned about the idea of your foliage? plumage? losing color or falling off with the weather, but so far so good
the deciduous pun of your new species seems to be a misnomer
how nice to be an evergreen owl, I guess
that also meant the holidays were coming
you had tried to be as communicative as possible with family as soon as your change had happened
there were going to be awkward conversations, but what else are the holidays for?
one less year of asking about a girlfriend or wife
No point in keeping a secret, you can’t hide something like this, it’s just impossible
better to have them aware so that they can know if something happens to you
”All your record collection hits on the 1: 97.2 TRC”
youtube.com/watch?v=JHa1hiFYbFQ
The universe was clearly making fun of you today
Fine.
Time to address those uncomfortable questions
What else did you have to do while in stop and go? Preen?
First and foremost, you wanted a fulfilling, mostly normal life
You got turned into this new form and there’s nothing you can do about it
This presents new threats, but also new opportunities you need to make the most out of
Obviously, one of these is the potential ability to fly
Do you want to learn how to fly?
The answer has to be yes.
It would be a shame not to.
Concerns about somehow losing your humanity were founded to start, but it’s been long enough
You’re in control, now it’s time to do something
The question the is how.
There’s the mathematical approach, just balance thrust, lift, drag and weight right?
Too bad that doesn’t apply to real life learning how to control muscles and
What about the natural way? Chicks are kicked from the nest and rely on instincts right?
Sounds like a good way to throw yourself to your own demise
You also might have completely suppressed whatever instincts you were supposed to get from the change but that’s a discussion for another time
Whats left?
Indoor Skydiving? The wind tunnel from the aerospace school out at the East Campus?
What about just running around in an open field flapping your arms?
Worth trying at least once, but you would also look like a complete fool
Logically, wouldn’t you need the strength to be able to lift yourself in order to fly?
These days, you don’t lift much heavier than a case of printer paper
There’s always the campus fitness complex and staff got discounted rates
Think any of their physical trainers would know how to teach someone how to fly?
There’s always the option to parter with the team that studied you early on for another research paper
But that was so much attention on you and pressure to perform
Publish or Perish and you didn’t want to disappoint
”It’s time for your weekday double play! Back to back hits from your artists. This one goes out to Mary Jane from midtown. Call in for your request!”
youtube.com/watch?v=s5BJXwNeKsQ
youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A
. . .
Obviously you can’t keep doing nothing
Hitting the Gym
Mentality
Mind over matter
You can think your way through any problem
Of course an egghead like yourself would think that
Wait, was that a pun?
Don’t worry about it.
Focus.
The hardest part is starting, so take the first step
Man’s dream since the dawn of time is within your grasp, you just need to get through this
…
Well, a little more research couldn’t hurt
You pull your phone out of the crossbody strap you’ve started carrying it in and begin searching the internet
If you wanted to learn to fly, you were going to need to be in good physical condition
So starting with the background made a lot of sense
The Decidueye is based on the multiple extinct Stilt Owl species found in Hawaii
I guess that explains the ghost part in a roundabout sort of way?
That also explained the long legs and backwards knees
To say you were used to them would technically be correct, but you weren’t comfortable that you weren’t uncomfortable with them at first.
Getting comfortable embracing the unknown was going to be the name of this game
Besides, there were things you had started to really embrace about this body
The bizarre string vines connected to the hood and part of you, for example.
Back when you were being examined and the bio-department chairs did some research into your new species, they found out that you could pull them a certain way to close your hood up and narrow your field of view
From the outside it looked like a kid hiding from embarrassment using his hoodie
But together you found it actually improved your focus and perception
Was it pressing on some part of your brain?
Was it simply cutting out distractions and noise?
Hard to say.
You had never been one to take Adderall or any other drugs
Heck, you never even drank coffee or soda with caffeine in it before your transformation
But this just helped you realign and see the important parts
Going too long would wear you out and naturally make the hood slack back to normal, same as pushing yourself too hard on any other mental task
You were hesitant to use it at first, but found that it helped you concentrate when reviewing those dense dissertations from your grad students
At first it was some sense of pride for normality, but now it was like using noise canceling headphones
Just be mindful of the time and place, and know you might look a bit silly to those around you
…
Was that what was bothering you?
Being afraid of looking stupid trying to fly and failing?
Of looking like a dumb child flapping his arms while running in a circle in the middle of a field?
No.
Well maybe.
That was admittedly a concern, but the consequences of failing and plummeting to the ground were more pressing and potentially painful if not deadly
So take it slow and see if you can work out how to move forward
You’re not a child and you’re not purely a human anymore
What could be more natural than seeing a bird take off into the sky?
Spectators be dashed
Keep telling yourself that
First You would need leg strength
Being able to run and jump would make taking off easier, presumably, and knowing how to land properly meant less likelihood of rolling an ankle-talon
You would need arm strength
Flapping your wings was going to be the only way of propelling yourself and generating any kind of lift
You were pretty lightweight now, despite how dense the wings mad you seem
Fundamentally, you would need to be able to lift your body weight in order to fly right?
Plus a factor for inefficiency of flight vs directly lifting something
What about core strength?
Probably couldnt hurt?
You would need the strength to keep your legs tucked up while in flight for aerodynamics
You’d also need nutrition to make sure you had the stamina for such a task
Oh, this is easy then, just live the active healthy lifestyle of an athlete, why didn’t you say so?
You’d need outside help
Thats why you’d scheduled this consultation with the fitness advisor at the athletics facility
That was why you were sitting in this office waiting for them
This wasn’t a doctor’s appointment or a judgement of your lifestyle, it was just a friendly meeting with your potential trainer
Trainer
You’re a pokemon now
And you’re meeting with a trainer
In a gym
Just like in those stupid games
Oh god it’s happening, you’re losing it, you’re losing yourself, you’re giving up your humanity you’re becoming a dumb beast you’re
STOP IT
Cinch go the vines
NONE OF THAT IS HAPPENING
STOP OVERTHINKING IT
You saw dozens of students and adults walking in here doing the same thing
You probably should have been doing this all along, but this is a fresh start and the chance to do something fun and amazing
Blaze new trail and do something you enjoy
Isnt that what life’s all about?
Calm down
Stop getting in your own head
You let go of the vines and breathe deeply
Stress is getting to you
This is all your choice, you don’t have to do any of it
You could leave and come back another time
“Hello Professor, I’m Jamie, your fitness instructor. I want to thank you so much for your email and meeting with me. It’s an honor for me to work with you. It’s great to hear from someone with such a specific goal to work towards. And of course the unique circumstances we’re working with are interesting too. I’ve been doing as much research as I can and I think I’ve put together a program that should enable you to unlock the potential of your body.”
Ah. She seems nice, this could work.
Aftercare
Coffee and caffeine were never really your thing
Sweet, fruity drinks though, those were your weakness
Was enjoying a post-workout smoothie from the juice bar a bit cliche?
Probably
Was it setting you back from your goals?
Probably not in the grand scheme of things, so why not treat yourself
Positive Reinforcement or whatever the PSY department said was the proper term for this
You got the blend your trai- fitness instructor suggested
Just enjoying the moment after a good workout by laying in the sun on the grass on the front lawn of the fitness complex
Would you have done this before?
Hard to say given you never really worked out that much as a human
You weren’t really a “lay down on the grass” kind of person, but clearly these yoga mats were laid out here for a reason
Same thing with drinking some grass green protein drink instead of a sugary strawberry banana option
When in Rome
The workout routine wasn’t that bad
The transformation gave you a huge head start, not just because you were an owl person, but because you had “started” with a body that was physically fit
Weights and stretches and core were all expected and you did well for the most part
Except for a few surprises that caught you and Jamie off guard
You knew you were lighter than before from some of the basic biometrics your researcher friends had taken early after your change
Obviously you were concerned with other things at the time so the exact numbers were lost on you
Weighing in today you learned you were about the mass of a 12 year old which was quite a shock
You didn’t “feel” differently doing your day to day tasks
Thankfully, latent panic in the back of your mind about your bones being hollow or something didn’t get much time to settle in
This was apparently due to the high power to density of your muscles
Being part tree or whatever did make you wonder: technically, were you made of carbon fiber?
The other shock came later
Humans can rotate their necks about 160 degrees
Owls can turn their necks about 270 degrees
You seem to have about 200 degrees
This was discovered when stretching, not during the warm up, but the cool down
”Just keep going until you feel a stretch, but not pain”
So you just kept going despite the outlandish sensation
The easiest explanation seems to simply be “mind over matter”
You only ever did human-like things with your body and never pushed your limits, so you didn’t know where they were
After all, why would you normally try straining yourself beyond what had been normal every day of your life prior?
That same concept kept coming up again and again all day today
So many of your limits, like how long you could bridge or plank, or how high you can jump seemed to be mental rather than physical
It sounds like something off a motivational poster, but there was physical evidence that your thoughts were limiting your capabilities
Obviously you couldn’t just say “I believe I can fly” and launch up into the wild blue yonder
But going from jumping 16” to 36” in one session is impossible from training alone
If that’s not motivation to keep coming back, what else could be?
Back in the present moment, you sat up and took in your surroundings
Taking a look over your shoulder with your discovered flexibility revealed a student not so subtly gawking and taking a photo
You gave a slight smile before making a shooing motion towards them
That nearly made them jump and drop their phone before walking off
Really, it was surprising that didn’t happen more often
You didn’t use social media so you really hoped you weren’t an unwitting celebrity on campus
Then again, you knew college students and how oblivious they could be when they wanted to
The way students walked in the streets and used those electric scooters you swore half of them were trying to get hit so they could get insurance money to cover tuition
Amnesia could spread like a contagion the moment you mentioned something would or wouldn’t be on an exam
Mind over Matter huh?
Halloween Update
”Alright class, that’s as far as we can get today. Exam grades have been posted. If you’ve found a mistake, please email me or the TAs and we can schedule a time to look it over. If you have any questions, I’ll stick around a bit longer otherwise, have a good weekend.”
Differential Equations was never a “fan favorite” but you hoped you were explaining it a way that they understood, not just memorized for exams
As usual, almost no one took up your offer as they rushed out the door.
You packed all of your notes sheets, textbooks, and laptop away in your briefcase
”Excuse me sir.”
Oh. Must have missed some. There’s a couple students standing around your desk. Didn’t see them walk over.
”Yes! How can I help?”
”I had a quick question. Why are you doing this?”
The girl in front of you had a blank quizzical look on her face - ”I beg your pardon?”
”Why do you do this? Shouldn’t you be out in the wilderness hunting or something?”
”Yeah man, what’s with all these textbooks? How you even understand this stuff?”
An older student chimed in behind her and stepped in front
Why were they talking to you like this?
You opened the textbook in front of you to the chapter you were working on and just reading from
”Of course I understand this. And you can too. Look, we have the basic form here. I’ll draw it on the board. First you have the differential.”
You walk over to the whiteboard at the front of the room
dy/dx
”Then you have the…”
If you’re covering basics, you better make sure you have everything right
”Hold on a second”
You walk back to the textbook on the podium
Where is the equation?
You were just looking at it.
You start flipping through the pages, but you can’t seem to find it
You can’t even go back to the page you were on
You know what the pages should say, but you just can’t read them
”Aw dude! Look at him go!”
You suddenly glance up and see at least a dozen students filming with their phones
What?
”Schedule a time for office hours. I’m afraid I have to get going.”
You stumble past them out of the classroom, through the hallway, and into the courtyard outside
Trees line the sides of the building, and along every path way with precise regularity, like the columns of a classical building
It’s starting to get dark out earlier. The sun is starting to set already, casting harsh shadows and patterns
”Look! The bird man!”
A mob of people move from around the corner of the building
You out and out panic
Something inside tells you to fly
It screams
FLY
It is silently deafening in your mind
GO
FLY
NOW
But you know you can’t
You have to run instead
The crowd not only has phones and cameras out, but nets and spears? pitchforks?
Strange shapes you can only identify as threatening
Your legs and arms don’t behave the way you’re used to
Instead of strides, you make awkward skips and hops
Your arms are wide out to your sides as if trying to keep balance on a tight rope
The crowd presses in from every direction
Their clamoring voices an impossible to discern cacophony
Backed up to a mighty tree, you’re left with nothing but to try to scramble up it
Jumping is useless as you can’t reach anything
Panic is setting in as you hug the trunk and begin digging in with everything you have
Your feet cling onto every relief in the wood they can find purchase on as you begin climbing
Your fingers feel as if the nails are being pulled as they try to lift you
In shear desperation, you even try hooking the tip of your beak onto the bark and using that to lift you
You reach a bare branch without leaves that you can stand on
You’re very high now but still feel the presence of every single person down there flashing you a fake smile that hides their true intentions
Looking up into the foliage, you swear you see the shape of a real, feral owl before it darts away
You finally take a moment to look at yourself
The feathers that make up your hands are a deep crimson
Not only are you naked, the same sanguine color has stained the sandy tan of your chest and torso all the way down
Looking down reveals the worst
Between your talons lies the corpse of a grotesque rat
Expertly flayed open down its underbelly with ribs spatchcocked open
You can see the organs and intestines writhing as the paws, whiskers, and tail quiver in involuntary spasms
In the center lies a pulsating red orb
It is the heart
No
Spraying blood with every throb
NOOO
Stumbling away from the animal you lose stability on the branch you’re standing on
And you begin to fall
faster
and faster
scrambling in the dark
reaching terminal velocity until you
Wake Up
…
…
…
”Fuck”
Nightmares
Not just the usual ones either
Your rational waking mind immediately saw through what happened
Your subconscious was being oh so clever coming up with symbolism and themes wasn’t it
Get it? Because you’re scared of how you’re perceived!
Yeah yeah yeah
And you still can’t fly!
Very clever
And you’re afraid of becoming an animal!
Give yourself an Oscar for such a deep and thoughtful script
It got your heart pounding, you gave yourself that
You thought you read somewhere that moving around made you forget your dreams quicker
Nothing wrong with a quick tour of the house
Your improved night vision even made it easier without having to turn on the lights
No longer did you have a blind spot in the center of your vision from a lack of rods
Sure, color was degraded but being able to see at all in pitch dark was pretty sweet
Getting a drink of water and walking back made it all fade into the background
It did synthesize one new thought, however
Set aside everything some Japanese writer ever came up with
You were a plant-like, owl-like creature now right?
Right, and there’s no immediate way to change anything about that.
You’re afraid of what you might become if you were to embrace this new form right?
Right. Because you are still mentally a human and have been a human all your life.
How can you accurately say what this “new form” actually is if you never give it a chance or embrace it?
It is impossible to know what the experience of living like a Decidueye is without experiencing it yourself
This form doesn’t exist naturally, so you, in effect, get to decide what it means to be one
You can’t weigh the decisions you make now based on your human experience, because that isn’t you anymore
Some things in life you can only learn about by experiencing them, not just evaluating them from the outside