It was a cold winter's morning when they set out
A quick excursion across the lines to gather intelligence and lay traps
Reynault had led hundreds of these operations, and made it back in one piece (more or less) every time, to the point it had become monotonous
And this one looked to be the same as any other
They had already hit their first four targets without a hitch, layed three box puzzels, and a three phase switch, all soft lock trapped. They were on their last puzzle. A music box puzzle baited with a healing item, the container of which was a mecha-mimic.
Erin held down the foot pedal while Redrake turned the hand crank. The two mummies kept watch on the tree line.
Reynault hummed a tune in his native tongue while he checked the map
"Au pas camarades, au pas camarades"
"Au pas, au pas, au pas"
He crossed off the final objective, and checked the time
They were ahead of schedule
Just then, he heard a shout, followed quickly a loud thud, and felt a sudden pain in the back of his head
The ensuing moments were a blur, he could hear shouts and screams, and as he gained lucidity, he could see his subordinates get cut down one by one
Not wanting to share their fate, he elected to stay down and lay still, even after he had regained the ability to walk
Eventually the shouting stopped, he heard footsteps, and voices speaking in the unmistakable tongue of man
He thought of trying to slip away quietly, but those thoughts were dashed when the voices came closer and heaved him up off the ground
He continued to play possum, only slightly opening his eyes to catch a glimpse of where they were taking him
After a while of walking, they reached what appeared to be the human camp
They placed him in a large tent, bound his hands and feet, and dumped a bucket of cold water on his head
What followed could be charitably described as unpleasant. Not for him mind you, but for his captors.
For every implement of torture they introduced, they were met mockery and laughter
For every method, snide insults veiled as advice
"Why don't you put some more backbone into it?"
"Come on, you call that a flogging? My mother gave better whippings than that."
Eventually, his interrogator had to be dragged out of the room, before he killed their captive
The fox sat in silence for a while, still pleased with himself over the look he put on that humans face, when a new human entered the tent
This one, clad in purple and white robes, had a cool look about him
He waved his hand at the two guards in the room
They bowed their heads and left
The human looked over Reynault's things, which had been laid out on the table behind him
The map, his hat, his orders, a compass, his pocket watch, his pistol
The human lifted the pistol from the table
He drew a glass lens from his pocket, held it up to his eye, and looked over the weapon, before placing back on the table and smirked
His face returned to its flat state as he turned to the fox
"So, who do I have the pleasure of addressing?" He said, in what was unmistakably the tongue of the common monster, and spoken very fluently as well
Reynault looked at him with a feigned puzzled expression
"Quois?"
The human paused and thought for a moment
"Tu comprends maintenant?" The human replied
"Damn, I was hoping that would work." Reynault said, the grin returning to his face
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you'll find I'm much harder to frustrate than my associates" The human said dryly
The human paced around Reynault, looking him over head to toe
"They tell me you're very resistant to our usual information extracting methods"
"Au contraire" said Reynard "It is not that I am the tough one, but that your friends are inordinately unskilled at the task they were given."
"Perhaps" Replied the human, gazing down across his nose.
He grabbed a poker from the fire pit as he passed by and examined it
The tip was red hot
He looked back down at Reynault and jammed it into his arm
"Oh, they already tried that one. Maybe we should move on to the more exotic ones, like thumb screws or water torture. Unless perhaps you wish to bore me to death." He said, laughing at his own joke
The human sniffed at the air
He withdrew the poker, tossed it aside, and dropped to one knee
"Oh, what is this this? Do you wish to- AGH" Reynault was cut short an ethereal purple rope snatching tight around his neck, pinning his head to the post
The human reached out and touched Reynault's arm, he slid his finger down its length, the sleeve split open, as if sliced by a razor
The fabric fell away to reveal an arm, not of fur and flesh, but of carved wood and intricately forged brass
The human ran his fingers across it, admiring the craftsmanship
He seemed displeased when Reynault's bindings got in the way
He traced his arm back up to the should and began to feel around
He pressed his finger into a small gap and pulled up
clunk
The arm jolted, then flopped haphazardly to the floor
He cut the now detached limb from its bindings, but not before adding extra purple ropes to Reynault's remaining hand and waist
Now a safe distance away from Reynault's teeth, he released the binding around his neck
Reynault gasped for air
After a moment of panting he said "You know, if you did not want me to bite, you could have bound my mouth instead."
To which he received no reply
The human once again drew the lens from his pocket and began to look over the arm, turning it around in his hands
An ethereal purple hand materialized, and he passed the arm to it, allowing it hold it while he examined it's operation
He carefully manipulated the fingers, watching the brass wires and pulleys operate within, in a complex mimicry of tendons and muscles
"Tell me, do all monsters of your kind have arms such as these?" The human asked, amused.
"Of course, but I have yet to meet another fox of my caliber, so that is only a sample size of one. Hardly useful for a man of science like yourself." Reynault answered
"How did you obtain this? And how does it operate?" The human asked
"I got it from the magical arm faerie, who brings replacement arms to good little boys and girls when they lose theirs, and it runs on the Satyrnalia spirit." He replied, his grin growing wider with each word.
The human's face remained stoic as ever. "Fine, I have my ways of extracting information. And you'll find them to be more effective than the ones you've seen so far."
A purple dagger materialized in the air, and thrust down into the fox's leg with an uncharacteristically wooden thwack.
The human's eyebrow lifted. "Just how much of you is false?"
"It is said that we foxes are liars down to our very bones." Reynault replied
"You have bones?' the human asked
"I supposed we'll find out." Reynault replied with a laugh
This brought a slight levity to his captor's face. "I suppose we will."
This elicited a fit of laughter from Reynault, one which looked like it might bring tears to his eyes
"You're in awfully good spirits for someone who's about to be taken apart."
Reynault choked back a laugh "Oh, its just- snicker - that I just remembered the punchline to a rather funny joke."
This piqued the human's interest. "Oh, what is it?"
Reynault replied, still barely able to speak through his geckering "Its- heh heh - not something you would see. Its really just beyond you."
The human was intrigued."Come now. I know what you monsters think of us humans, but I assure you, some of us can be quite sharp when we try."
"No, no. snicker I mean it, you're really better off just getting on with the torture." Reynault insisted
The human's face soured "I'm beginning to think the 'joke' is that there is no joke, apart from me asking about one that doesn't exist."
"Oh, no. Its much funnier than that." replied Reynault
"That remains to be seen." The human countered.
The fox calmed himself "Oh, alright. If you really must know..."
The human leaned in ever so slightly to hear this joke
BANG
The human was awestruck as a deafening bang echoed through the room
The tent was filled with the scent of smoke and sulfur
He felt a sudden pang in his chest, and when he looked down he saw a growing red stain take shape on his tunic
Reynault burst into laughter
A muttered "What?" was all the human could manage from his damaged diaphragm
Reynault choked back his laughter to the best of his ability, and offered an explanation "When you placed my pistol on the table earlier, you didn't even check to see if it was loaded!"
He resumed his cackling
The human dropped to his knees.
" Heh, 'we humans can be quite sharp'? Ha! You, human, are as sharp as a billiard ball!" He proclaimed, between fits of laughter
Just outside, the sentries stepped away from the tent, unable to tolerate what they could only assume were the sounds of horrific torture, unknown to only but the worst elements of both man and monster
Reynault looked the human in the eye. The shock, the confusion, the despair. This was the look of a so called 'genius' who'd been made a fool. Sights like this were what he lived for.
Reynault could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard
The human tried to scream, to cry out for the guards, but all he could muster was a whimper as he fell face first to the ground
Reynault jolted awake in bed
He looked around
Still a tent, but much smaller, and lit only by the dim embers of dawn peaking through the gaps in the fabric
Gone were the pokers and whips
In their place, the accommodations of an officer's tent
The memories of what Reynault could only assume to be a dream rapidly faded as he recognized what he knew to be as his quarters
He didn't know why, but he had tears in his eyes
"Un cauchemar?"
Reynault set the question aside and climbed from his cot
He had more important things to do today, like coming up with an excuse to cancel the operation
He didn't know why, but he had a gut feeling today's scouting mission was a bad idea, and he had learned the hard way to always trust his gut on matters like these