Be warned all ye who enter. Terrible shipfaggotry awaits in the depths of this accursed fic, most likely poorly written to boot. Alright pirate talk over. So I’ll be upfront, I know shipping ruins a lot of stuff and is literally poison (just look at how many cartoons had it and how dogshit they were as a result) but I admit it’s a guilty pleasure. But only when it’s Hero/Villain type shit. That’s my bread and butter right there, fucking love enemies to lovers in all forms; angry hatefucking, awkward fluffy feelings confession, forbidden romance they gotta keep secret, I dig it all. And the times it happens in magical girl shows, that’s like fine wine to me. So it’s what I’m doing here, writing my own terrible fic about characters being kissy n shit. For the two idiots I’m mashing together, I have like a dozen ideas because...yeah I really enjoy this kinda stuff and I might write more in the future. There’d be no definitive canon or anything like that. X fic they’re trying to kill each other and up hatefucking to release the tension, Y fic is a mushy fluffy thing where one tells the other how they feel, Z fic? I dunno a funny morning after type deal “Oh we fucked? Oh no...” I can do it (or try to) all.

Does this sound pretty gay? Eh maybe. I just hope you stick with me and give this dumb stuff a chance. If you’re turned off as soon as you saw shipping, well I honestly can’t blame you I feel the same about a lot of dumb shipping shit I see online.

Anyway, without further a do, let’s give it a shot and see if I can make something halfway decent. (If not I’m just gonna give up for the night and go watch Sharpe)

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Explosions rocked the normally quiet park, a peaceful part of the city now turned into a war zone. Great thunderous booms echoed across the grassy landscape to signify the clamour of battle as good fought evil for the very survival of the star.

In the centre of it all stood a tall shadowy pillar that seemed to absorb all light with it’s dark glassy surface. About five meters tall but a mere seventy centimetres across, it looked like some oversized sewing needle thrust into the ground which seemed to pulsate and radiate a malevolent energy around itself. Cracks glowing faintly of a dark purple formed around the base of the needle, the earth it had been impaled through cracking along long lines in the ground with all nearby plant matter withering and decaying rapidly as the cracks expanded and grew.

Around this object of evil, five girls fought on desperately, each of them in the same scantily clad armour but a different colour. Thong squad they were named. Heroines of virtue and honour, sworn protectors of the Earth and all it’s inhabitants. And currently they were getting their asses kicked…

Pink skidded back on her feet, stooping into a low crouch as she went, blade raised before her defensively. “Cleo, any idea yet what that thing is?” She asked, ignoring the cloud of dirt and dust she kicked up as she blocked blows from a pair of onrushing Goons with the flat of her blade. The group had only been here for a few minutes, but they were already on the back foot. To their surprise, they hadn’t expected all three of the Generals to show at once. With a larger than usual compliment of Goon footsoldiers no less. Whatever their reason to be here, it must have been important.

Back at the home base, their princess, Cleophoe, scried the oversized crystal core, examining the strange tower closely, desperately trying to determine it’s function. “I’m not sure, but whatever it is, it is exuding a considerable amount of dark magic. And it seems to be having an effect on the surrounding area.” There was no masking the concern in her voice as she spoke.

“So what you’re saying is, that it’s bad. Good, glad we have that at least.” Thong Green spoke as she loosed a series of quick shots from her bow. Each one found their mark in the chest of a Goon and sent the mindless creatures sprawling. Suddenly a series of dark blasts, like lightning slammed into the ground around her, missing her by inches as she darted to one side. A girl, dressed in the most elegant dress of crimsons, pinks and whites one might ever see descended towards her from on high like some predatory bird swooping in for the kill. But instead of a beak, this murderous creature wielded a parasol, it’s sharp pointed end aiming directly down towards the Green Heroine and it was all she could do to avoid it’s gleaming spike. She threw herself back, falling onto her rear with a grunt and dropping her bow as the spike rammed into the ground right between her legs. An inch or so higher and she would have been skewered through her Thong. Celine Fille Sadique stared down at the spike, her face cold and impassive before casting her gaze upwards to the hapless girl.

“Looks like I missed.” Her expression twisted, changing into a smug grin, full of self assured mirth and contempt for the lesser creature before her. Then just like that, it reverted back to that dead stare, only this time her eyes seemed to glow with a predatory instinct.

“I. Won’t. Miss. Again.”

She pulled the parasol from the ground and was about to impale her victim when there came a flash of red from behind. Without even looking, Celine twirled her weapon behind her just in time to block a gauntleted fist from Thong Red as she surged towards her, the block killing the newcomers momentum dead and leaving her suspended the air for second.

“Mind if I cut in?” Red mocked as parasol and gauntlet ground together mid-air.

Without missing a beat, the villainous general batted Red away, already deeming Green as less important as she spun on her heel. As she did so, her closed parasol burst open as it’s canopy folded upwards and coalesced. In a flash it had transformed, the fabric gone and replaced with a vicious razor sharp scythe head. “Fine, you wish to dance? Then allow me to lead.” Celine shot forward towards Thong Red, blade at the ready. For her part Green was already up on her feet but was forced back as more Goons rushed her.

Across the way, Thongs Blue and Yellow had their own issue. Back to back they were stuck fending off some three dozen Goons in a never ending tide of bodies. All the while Alexander Brònach sat cross legged, floating in the air, watching and laughing, content not to get involved just yet. Despite the girls fending off the constant waves, every so often one of the Goons would get a hit in before going down, then a short while later it would happen again. It was a slow process, but they were being overwhelmed by a thousand cuts. They had to break free soon or else they would be done for.

“Oh there goes another one!” Alexander called out as Thong Blue took a glancing slash across the cheek. The heroine angled her head down and quickly wiped the small trickle of blood on her shoulder pad before releasing a blast of magical energy at another oncoming Goon. “It’s not looking good girls. C’mon fight harder, you’re boring me!” He laughed.

“He’s got a point Blue.” Grunted Thong Yellow over her shoulder. She jabbed a Goon in the face with her staff and swung out to her left to crack another one in the side of the head with a sickening crunch. Despite her best efforts, her constructs could do very little with what room they had. Whenever she summoned one in, it would get dragged down by sheer weight of numbers and destroyed. It was on days like this she really missed her whip. “We need to make an opening. You’re the smart one, any ideas?”

“I’m waiting!” Came a mocking voice from the blonde youth. “Do something cool or whatever, c’mon!”

Blue tutted quietly to herself. “I’m trying but it’s hard to concentrate with that asshole constantly making noise.”

“Oi! I heard that you bastards!”

“Just-” She ducked low barely avoiding a blow to the head, firing up and point blank under the chin of her foe and sending it reeling back into it’s comrades. “Just give me a minute to think. Eugh, I work well under pressure but that’s like with tests or time limits. Not actual life or death struggles.” She had better think fast, she thought, or they really were going to die. And at the hands of that little shit at that. Not a good way to go she reckoned.

Pink ran, dragging her sword across the ground as she went, leading it into a mighty upwards sweep that took out several Goons in one go only to step dead as someone seemed to step out from behind the pillar ahead of her. Broad shouldered and in a nobleman’s officer jacket complete with epaulettes and a dark green. With his eyes obscured by the peaked cap which sat pointed low on his forehead, Viktor Krov made for an imposing figure. An imposing figure now directly in her path. “Ah Thong Pink…” He called out. She raised her sword and made ready for him as he began to slowly walk towards her. “You have rejected her demand for the Princess, for your sources of power. While I respect your defiance and loyalty, it will not avail you.” He reached a gloved hand down to his waist where a scabbard clung tightly to his side and gripped the hilt of his weapon. In one fluid motion he drew his sabre, the air around it crackling with a dark energy. He pointed the end of the blade out towards her in challenge. “You have defined the will of our beneficent Queen. What happens here today, to this world, is on you. You will all pay the ultimate price for your folly.” And in a flash he dissipated.

A moment later he appeared directly above Pink, bearing down on her with his sabre. She had no hope of blocking the blade, instead opting to dive forward in the nick of time to avoid him crashing down on her. The impact his blade made on the ground created a deafening boom and left a crater where she was once stood a mere moment before. She would be lying to say the display of strength didn’t scare her somewhat. He was a strong one, but it was a directed strength. Overwhelming but never wasted. From previous bouts she knew full well he wasn’t brash like his friends. No fancy tricks or overly cunning tactics. No outbursts or single minded obsessions. He was in complete control with everything he did calculated for maximum force. All this while keeping his emotions in check. There was no doubt about why he was in charge. Sword raised in a defensive stance, she readied herself for the battle about to come.

It was going to be hell.

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Watching through giant floating crystal, Cleo could only stare in despair as the girls fought a slow losing battle. If something did not change soon, they would be doomed. She pressed a hand to the surface and whispered quietly. “Please my warriors...do not fall…” Just then, her feline friend rushed into the room, bursting through the near by doors and rushing around the corner with a book near her own size carried in her paws.

“Princess! Princess! I found it! In the archives, I found what that construct out there is!” She blustered, shoving the open book up towards Cleo. Amongst the paragraphs of text, there was no mistaking the drawing on the right page. That was indeed the same thing out there in the park. Cleo leaned in, eyes quickly scanning over the text as fast as she could. She reared up and gasped, turning back to the crystal.

“Oh my! Girls, we know what it is now. It’s a Black Anchor! Ancient dark magic, it’s a conduit! It draws power from living things around it in order to open a huge portal to another location!” As she spoke, dread swelled in the hearts of each of the girls. They all knew exactly what that meant. “An invasion!” Cleo cried in horror, confirming their fears. “They’re going to tear open a massive rift to allow in an entire army. There’s no other reason it could be! And what’s worse, the energy it draws in? It’s slowly killing the environment around it. If you weren’t empowered, you might be dead already, or near enough. And then on top of that, when the portal opens, it will cause a massive explosion that will wipe out everything around it.” The terror in her voice was as clear as day. She didn’t bother to try and hide it, she couldn’t even if she wanted to. “Girls you MUST destroy it before it is too late!”

“Shit.” Pink cursed as she danced back to avoid a slash. She jumped forward and jabbed at him, but the General was too quick on the return. He brought his sabre back in a lightning fast arc and battered her attack away. “Okay...okay, so if we lose, the world is doomed.” She was whispering to herself now. Something she often did when she tried to restore her confidence. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it did not. Currently? It was the latter. “We need to destroy the anchor. Got it. Let’s see…” As she began to back away from Viktor, she scanned the area around her, assessing the situation. “Blue and Yellow, hmm, okay…” Her mind was racing with ideas and plans, but so far her mind was a stormy sea, the waves of her thoughts turbulent and uneven. “Then Green and Red…right…”

“There is hope yet girls.” Came Cleo, her voice still shaky, but as she read more of the book, a slight glimmer of something akin to...hope, was it? Desperation? Who could tell. But there was definitely a subtle change. “If I’m reading this right, there is a way to bring it down. In it’s current state, it is indestructible, those energies it is absorbing act like a barrier.”

“Oh of course.” Red let out a snarl of annoyance. She stepped to the left to block the scythe blade coming down where she stood and quickly leaped directly into the air to avoid it’s sudden sweep to the side. Had Green not began firing at Celine forcing her to twirl her weapon like a helicopter blade to block the oncoming shots, she had no doubt she simply would have re-angled the blade and cleaved her in two. “It’s never that easy!” Back on her to feet, she wasted no time sprinting full force at the female General.

“It appears it has three conduits! Ah, think of them like...batteries!” They all heard the sound of fingers snapping in the back of their minds as she went on. “Yes batteries! These conduits help the Anchor by relaying and storing it’s energy. It has to pass through them as it slowly builds. In turn this helps maintain a steady and manageable grow and thus is responsible for the barrier. It needs to do this or else it would build it’s energy far too quickly for the construct to handle. If that happens it would simply shatter from the pressure.”

Pink turned back to watch the slowly approaching Viktor when something caught her attention. There, dangling from a cord around his beck. It looked to be a shard, about the size of a fist. How had she not noticed it before?...Well it probably had something to do with constantly dodging the man trying to murder her. But that was it! It had to be! Her suspicions were correct when she noticed that Celine had one and so too did Alexander.

They each had one of those conduit key things…

There came a high pitched screeching noise, like nails dragged across glass mixed with a screaming toddler. A jagged spike of crystal emerged from the left side at the top of the construct. It looked like the beginning of some demented crown now forming on it’s head, with the spike crackling at the tip. “Uh, what does that mean?” Yellow asked between jabs. “That doesn’t look like something we want…”

“Oh this isn’t good.” Panic came back to Cleo’s voice. “It won’t be long now, it’s getting more and more powerful. Girls you have to stop it or all is lost!” Pink swallowed hard, the tempest in her mind raging on. Her eyes darted from group to group, desperate struggle to desperate struggle, chewing her lip near bloody as ideas were formed and promptly discarded. The crashing waves were threatening to overwhelm her now, dragging her under as she became lost to the chaos of the events unfolding. If she didn’t have to fight, she could probably manage something passable, but right now she also had to contend with the sabre wielding General. It was difficult to formulate plans on the go when you’re currently duelling a man to the death. And as she pulled her eyes away from Yellow and Blue, there was a blur of movement.

Pink sidestepped to the left at the last second as the opponent came in with an upwards slash missing her by inches. She then stepped to the right barely avoiding the blade coming down in a heavy arc. She jabbed forwards with her own sword aiming directly for his chest, but to her horror, Viktor batted the weapon aside with a powerful backhand, knocking the weapon off course. She hardly had time to react as that same balled up fist redirected on a dime and slammed into her chest. The punch sent her staggering back, arms flailing wide as he followed up with a swift boot to the stomach that sent her flying back. With her mind reeling, it was all she could do to keep her balance, shifting her fall into a low crouch as she skidded back across the ground.

Wait.

Something...achievable, was forming In the back of her mind.

Was it possible?

“You have fought hard Thong Pink.” Called out Viktor. The General had his blade raised and pointed at her from across the way, singling her out with its point. “It is commendable, but surely you cannot deny the inevitable. We will be victorious, this you cannot deny. You’re comrades are losing ground by the second and soon each in turn shall fall.” For her part, Pink half listened. She had an idea, a small one but was developing it moment by moment. She just needed more time. “I am giving you this one last chance to surrender. Out of respect for the your show of valiance today.” Almost there, she just had assign the roles and… “Lay down your arms and we shall be merciful. You have my word as a fellow warrior.” That’s it. Just keep talking you beautiful bastard…

“I understand that power and riches mean nothing to you, so I will not bother to make the offer. But consider the fate of this world. Bend the knee and join us. You can guarantee the safety of all you hold dear. Tell me, is such a price not worth paying? I...” He went quiet for a moment as his expression softened. “I understand that sometimes, sacrifices must be paid for those you love. Your hands must be sullied in order to protect…” He shook his head and just like that Viktor’s usual cold hardened expression came to the front once more. His grip tightened on the hilt of his Sabre, the sound of his leather glove making a strained noise.

“So tell me Thong Warrior. What is your answer?”

And just like that, the storm parted.

She was floating atop calm waters now. The ocean was tranquil and the skies clear and blue.

She felt at peace.

She had her plan.

Closing her eyes, Pink took in a slow deep breath as Viktor awaited her response. Slowly she let it out in a puff of air. And as she spoke, she opened her eyes, revealing a determined and defiant stare aimed directly at her foe. “Thank you for the offer Viktor. I know you mean well, from one warrior to another. Deep down, you’re not a bad man…” He clenched his jaw at those words, from anger or something else, she was not sure. “But I gotta decline. Sorry about that.” Pink shot him a wink and a smile.

Viktor slashed the air before him with his blade, reading to launch himself once more. “Then you have chosen your fate. Very well.”

“Ah, we’ll see about that.” she cooed in response, turning her head over toward her friends. “Yellow, Blue! Remember the ping-pong tournament last week? Think you could pull that trick off again?” The two girls exchanged glances and grinned, nodding to each other as they prepared their manoeuvre. “Good. Green! Give Red a chance to pull back. I have something more fun for her planned!” She kept her posture slow, sword raised close to her chest. “I’ll have more for you in a moment, so be ready!”

“Very well Thong Warriors. Let us end this once and for all.” The General prepared for the attack, determined to finally finish off these girls and finally end this drawn out conflict.

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Execute!”

Before Viktor had a chance to move, Pink suddenly launched herself at him with such incredible speed. He staggered back as he brought his blade up barely in time to launch a sudden flurry of blows coming at him. Sparks filled the air as magical steel met magical steel at an astonishing rate. Then around him, Pink’s carefully made plan began to suddenly take shape.

It all happened so fast.

With one final blast, Blue suddenly stooped low into a readying position, like a sprinter about to set off in a race. Not a second later four shimmering hard light constructs looking like featureless clones of Yellow materialized directly behind her, striking out in all directions with their elongated staffs. As the Goons flew back, it created an opening. Blue set off, her speed kicking in full force as she shot between the minions dodging and weaving between them, firing point blank as she went leaving a trail of bodies behind her blur. As she ran she turned, coming around on the other side of the group, carving her way back towards Yellow. She came in on the opposite direction and created a corridor before her friend. As they passed, they had just enough time to turn and smile at one another as Yellow sprinted forward, a pair of clones either side swatting away any foe who tried to block her exit while Blue carried on past her, this time turning the opposite direction as she made her second lap. Alexander barely had time to process what was going on and could only shout and curse them as the two girls escaped the mass of Goons at opposite directions. He tried his best to fling balls of shadowy energy at Blue, but she was too quick. His attacks only missed and struck his own soldiers instead.

“Stop running you asshole! And you guys! Stop getting in the way dammit!”

Meanwhile Red did was she was ordered. Parrying Celine one last time, she jumped back and began to create distance between the two. Her General was not having it however. “Where do you think your going?” She called out, flying towards her with her scythe raised. “I won’t let you get away that easy-” An arrow flew directly across her face, the shaft skimming across the bridge of her nose and forcing her to stop suddenly. She turned to see Green scowling up at her, launching another volley of shots at a break neck pace.

“I think she’s sick of you, and personally so am I.” Celine span her scythe once more blocking all the shots and scattering them. When she finally stopped, Green stood before her, smirking as though she had already won.

“And what are you going to do about it little one?” Something felt...off. “Why are you grinning?” Celine demanded to know, only to be met with Green gesturing upwards with her head. Celine noticed there were shadows coving her body, small but growing rapidly. She turned her head up, squinting through the bright sunlight to see something coming towards her.

Many things.

Arrows.

Dozens of arrows all raining down directly towards her.

“When did you-” Was all she had time to say before she was forced to dodge the raining projectiles, jumping left to right, surging forwards in the air before being forced to fly back. Spun and slashed some out of the air, but it was too many. She teleported to another spot with a snarl only to be met with another deluge above her new position.

“Hah, I fired those off earlier you prissy bitch. Maybe you shouldn’t keep your focus on a single opponent!” Green laughed as she began to walk forward, plinking more shots at the hapless villain. “Go one Red, get out of here before I get bored and shoot you too.” Her companion saluted and withdrew from the battle, creating some distance from her and Celine.

Pink couldn’t help but smile, it was all coming together and she would be lying if she wasn’t just a little proud watching it all unfold in rapid succession. Another jagged screech filled the air. Parrying Viktor, she cast a glance at the construct as another shard emerged from the top. They were running out of time. She turned back and launched another barrage of attacks, jumping left to right to catch him off balance and at one point spinning in the air to deliver a swift kick around the side of his head that sent him back. If it affected him however, there were no signs of it. The young man was built like a tank and at best she could just keep him on his feet. There was no way she could do any actual damage to him.

With the girls ready, it was time for phase two.

The big switcheroo.

“Yellow, help Green with little miss psycho bitch! She wants to dance so much, let’s give her someone who can keep up with her!” In response Yellow and her clones bounded towards Celine, each of them coming in at a different angle of attack. The General defended against them all, but it was clear she was having a harder time than with Red. Especially with Green firing off shots in the gaps between Yellow and the constructs as they fought in perfect unison. Agility and grace vs agility and grace. Good, thought Pink.

“Red? You’re with me! I think Viktor could do with another sparring partner. One who can hit as hard as he can.”

“Haha! Aw let’s go!” Red Cheered as she sprinted full tilt towards them excitedly. “Been wanting to kick this guys ass for a while now. C’mon man, let’s play!” As Viktor brought his sword down against Pink’s, he leaned in over the weapons clashing for dominance.

“I see you need help Thong Pink. No matter. It may be tougher, but I will defeat both of you regardless.” Just then, Red surged into view, a gauntlet speeding straight for Viktor between the two. In a flash his free hand shot out and grasped at it, robbing her of the impact. Red grunted as he turned to her, his grip tightening on the shaking weapon. Slowly but surely, he began to push her weapon back away from him. “You are not as strong as you think Thong Red. Even if-”

She brought her other gauntlet up with just as much ferocity and smashed the villain directly under the chin, sending him cartwheeling back through the air and slamming into a nearby tree. Red danced on the spot, jabbing at the air like a boxer, grinning to herself triumphantly. “Dude, you talk too much. Should work on that, you know?” Pink smiled, resting her hand on Red’s shoulder.

“Thanks for the back up. Think we can take him?”

“Together? Pfft, easy.” She turned her head and glanced over her. “More fun than fighting the crazy girl anyway. I like fighting someone I can actually hit.” She laughed and Pink laughed with her. Raw strength vs raw strength. A good match up if ever there was one. Now it only left...

“Blue!”

“Lemme guess!” The blue haired warrior called out, zipping between Goons and expertly dispatching them with pinpoint shots. She paused, standing directly under where Alexander was floating. “I handle all the mooks and the brat?” She gestured upwards with a thumb. Angrily, he looked left and right trying to find the source of the noise before turning down and figuring out she was below him. With a growl he summoned a massive globe of dark magic and threw it down at her, only for the heroine to shoot off before it could make contact. Alexander screamed his frustration out aloud, fists shaking and curses blaring.

“If you’re up to it!” Called Pink.

“Way ahead of you boss.” She shot off, making laps around the battle field, picking more and more Goons off with each pass, slowly thinning their numbers. Periodically she would fire off a shot at the brat to keep him on his toes. Some would miss, some would hit. But either way, he was getting angrier and angrier with Thong Blue, his shots becoming more erratic, but also larger in size and power.

And Brains vs...well whatever Alexander had.

The pieces were in place now.

Time for phase three.

Edit

Pub: 24 May 2025 23:41 UTC

Edit: 26 May 2025 18:04 UTC

Views: 164