It's cold, colder than usual, and Kris is very used to the cold. Not the physical cold, no, despite living halfway up a mountain, but rather the emotional cold. Essentially alone in a freezing ocean, Kris is stuck, swaddled up in his blanket like the nipping winds will personally assault him. Every day for the past few years, too few to matter yet too many to keep an exact count, Kris awoke to yet another vile diatribe from the other voice in his headspace. He's not one of those freaks who believes themself to be multiple people, but he is possessed by a dark passenger. A demon of the beyond, whose words drill their way through his brain and weaken his defenses. He must remain vigilant and pure.

"You've done nothing wrong..."

"Your actions aren't your fault..."

"You're helping people..."

It doesn't know Noelle Holiday, not really. It knows of her, like Kris knows of Toriel's parents, or how Berdly knows of smart people. Deeply impersonal, with a sickly veneer that repels any meaningful education on the matter at hand. Kris is just as much an object to it as Noelle is. A puppet, prancing around faux-valiantly as they slice and freeze innocent people to dust. No wonder Spamton G. Spamton wanted to cut his strings. Perhaps he too was told nice falsehoods every morning, trying to prime him towards acts unforgivable.

He knows he's to blame. Not only is it his body going through the unspeakable motions, but it's his eyes seeing the deeds, his mind remembering the events afterwards. Nothing he could say to anyone would change what had happened, or what would happen. Kris is alone, now more than ever. His mother is reverting back to her drunkard days under the lazy, hollowed out eyes of a shopkeeping skeleton. His father doesn't even live with them anymore, and hasn't for years now. Even his brother, the unstoppable "God of Hyperdeath" Asriel is off at college, getting laid and high or whatever little info he can scrounge up about college life is like.

Tears don't work, they just dehydrate him. Suicide isn't an option, either; the demon just assumes control and puts him back in his bed, all tucked and cozy like. And only then, when Kris is back in control, does the demon start its mantras up again. He's stuck with a demon that doesn't want him to feel bad. He rarely ever feels, anyways.

Noelle, in the one time he was able to speak about himself, about his feelings, said that he was depressed, or some shit. He's not depressed! Kris would know. He can get out of bed! He can clean and feed himself! He can maybe go to school! He's just kind of empty. Hollowed out, even.

And every time he thinks about how shit life is, the demon starts back up.

"It's alright..."

"You matter to me..."

"You're not at fault..."

"Everything will work out..."

The worst part is that Kris wants to believe it.

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Pub: 23 Jun 2025 04:48 UTC

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