AC: KiraMomo_ on Weibo
welcome to my mini blogging page (heaven) . . . you are safe here.

this is my personal blogging page ! ! ! i will post my thoughts , outfits , art ( ? ) , and much more . head back?

♰ㅤ’ㅤ7/5/25 #6 . . . calvin popular era ?

i may or may not have just invited to join a band. its probably gonna be rock so thats pretty sick. anyways, i love fucking with my ex. i found his strawpage and i love sending him annoying messages like "hey dude its me! remember that time when you emotionally abused me and then played victim because apparently sending me an emoji means that i need to be at your feet instantly? and when i broke up w you and called you out on it you played the "i have did!" card. haha yeah guys sorry my edward did alter killed that guy it wasnt me so you shouldnt hold me accountable for it guys.'"

on that topic, i want to talk about my experience with osdd-1a. im still learning things about myself as a whole so im very sure things will change. i do not have distinct "alters", and even then, i personally think that in my case, calling them alters is inaccurate. i wouldnt refer to them as "different people inside one body", but instead as different personalities or identities that my brain has created to cope with the repeated trauma ive experienced most of my life (and still going). i dont magically gain a personality whenever i like a new media or a character either, since i base all of my personalities with a character. i already had the pieces, i just found somebody to embody them. i didnt just develope an "edward identity" because i becam obsessed with him. i already had an identity, he just perfectly embodies it. and its not like i have a crazy amount of said personalities either. im not fully sure what is going on with me yet, but i know its probably no more than 4. i also dont want to be seen as those tiktokers that fake did either... thats one of my biggest fears. (<---- also why faking did (and pretty much any disorder) is very very harmful. it causes people who actually do experience said disorder to feel invalid and sometimes embarassed to admit it. i personally kept it a secret for a while until i told my boyfriend.) but anyways, like i previously stated, its like a puzzle, in a way. i split into different pieces, and im finally painting a picture on each piece so it all comes together as "one", if it makes any sense (<--- slept for like 2 hours and is currently staying up very late). basically, in conclusion, osdd-1a is something i find very interesting and i feel kind of strange about it. i normally love to just learn about any specific disorder, but finding out its likely to have something like this? especially given i used to have rumors spread about me when i was 14 about how i """was faking did""". i never even imagined i would ever have anything like that, and so making this realization makes me feel very guilty. it makes me feel invalid (especailly because the bitch spreading those rumors was faking did and was an endo system or whatever its called. basically just a hoe that wants the """aesthetic""" of did (theres nothing aesthetic about it) without having the trauma) and it just makes me feel awfully horrible about it). (highlight the entire white section to see what it says since its kinda personal and i dont want to exactly wave it around on a flag.) this is a very personal entry im posting, so id rather have no comments made on it unless its important (eg; correcting a mistake, genuine positive comment, similar situations, ect;).

♰ㅤ’ㅤ7/4/25 #3 . . . playing guitar is not for the weak .

my official 3rd entry.. i should clarify that i update these usually multiple times a day. i dont make seperate entries, just a new paragraph! i also consider something a new entry the moment my clock hits 12. anyways, playing guitar is NOT for the weak, like stated. my fingers hurt just from playnig one song... i dont know how ill ever start a band. anyways, i think its kind of obvious by now that i LOVE soad. i think i have a new soad song to go into the top 5, bounce. its not like i havent heard it until now, no, i listen to the entire toxicity album, i just finally paid attention to it. and christ, is it amazing. the lyrics are ironic considering that theyre just about pogo sticks and that the songs actual instrumental is very intense. i love it, though.

hallucinations r getting worse lets go. i keep seeing bugs everywhere i keep seeing them on the table and the floor and on me and im shaking. i think it might be psychosis guys

♰ㅤ’ㅤ7/3/25 #2 . . . my god .

i love my cat so much. there was a cockroach and i was scared. she caught it and killed it within 5 minutes. shes literally my savior. i love her so much. you know who else i love so much? my wife. hes so sweet and kind and gentle to me even though ive done bad things and it makes me sad. i dont deserve him, but christ, am i going to keep him all to myself, as selfish as it is. he needs to stay. preferably forver.

oh my god... my cousin came over and it was so embarassing. i hid in a room the entire time. i havent properly talked to him in 5 years. i want to shoot myself.

i always feel like im going insane all the time. anyways, this picture is from like. i wanna say a few weeks ago. i was half asleep soooorryy. i had a cool army shirt on (reference) (not explaining) (you either know it or you dont). please dont make fun of me ill cry i know i look stupid.

♰ㅤ’ㅤ7/2/25 #1 . . . my first entry !

today was pretty good. i finally woke up at a reasonable time for the first time in 2 weeks... kind of embarassing to admit. ive been having art block recently... ugh. ill start posting ootds the moment i get the motivation to put effort into my appearence (literally any time i go out). despite the aesthetics of my rentry, i prefer to dress more grunge. my mom will not stop showing me videos from when i was a baby. please send help.

making friends and talking to people is so scary specifically on pony town... im not too sure why that is for me. people on pony town make me nervous... however, i dont care. i will still play it. i should also probably start doing more commissions if i want to get that piercing ive wanted for a while!!! -.-- --- ..- / .-- .- -. - / -- . .-. -.-. -.-- ..--.. / -... . --. / ..-. --- .-. / .. -

i fear i may be going insane... i dont think its just being delusional anymore. i might be going into another psychosis episode... gulp.... will it be the average episode, or will it be super ultra religious psychosis? who knows! stay tuned to find out (and watch my mental health slowly deteriorate). not a lot has happened lately... in fact, things have felt normal for once. after 2 years of being in fight or flight mode, many of those months consisting of teither constant psychotic episodes or one long one (i still was never able to figure it out.. what a shame.) does not do good for your mental state. ive started to lose much more of my memory than normal and my sleep schedule has been getting even worse. i would be lying if i said i wasnt having any auditory hallucinations... but anyways, moving on from that. im typically a normally delusional person, however, its been feeling a lot harder to ground myself. if i was being honest, i dont remember the last time ive told someone something about my feelings or emotions while it was comprehensive. i cant even figure out what im feeling half of the time... its crazy to think that all of this can happen just because you took a few eddies and your mom was mean to you when you were younger. its kind of crazy.


you ' re in the arms of the angels . head back?
AC: KiraMomo_ on Weibo

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Pub: 27 Jun 2025 06:34 UTC
Edit: 05 Jul 2025 09:58 UTC
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