important note

preface: do not think that because i struggle with these things, i'm incapable of being knowledgeable about something, stupid, weak, dumb, or lesser than you. because i am not. do not infantalize me, do not patronize me, and don't undermine my intelligence because of these things. i can tell (most of the time) when people think these things about me, you're not subtle and i might do an irish goodbye. do not ever say to me "you only feel this way because of [insert disorder here]". i'll slap u upside ur headtop!

𐂯 I struggle extremely heavily with memory loss. It's extremely short term. (I suck at remembering recent things) I even forget "important" or "obvious" things. If you accuse me of lying or using my memory as an excuse, i won't speak to you much or might even cut contact with you. i hope u understand why. (i feel unsafe around you) i also can only remember things in bits and pieces and will only remember the things i dont if theyre brought up. im heavily paranoid about people using this to take advantage of me in some way so thats why i might deny it or get defensive.

𐂯 sometimes i mispell or even miss a few words in a sentence when texting. this is not because i am illiterate or can't read or write. im not sure why it happens but im assuming it has something to do w processing. But yeah please dont point it out. Also avoid pointing out any speech errors or hiccups if we call, i dont like that.

𐂯 I also struggle extremely heavily with processing things. I am slow. Okay? You need to be direct with me otherwise I'm not going to get what you are saying. No i don't catch hints we dont do that here, i will literally miss them and might come to a different conclusion or not even come to one at all. i will be confused or lost. Screaming at me or getting aggressive doesn't help, it actually makes it worse. if you know you cannot be patient w me fuck off and do us both a favor. I process things in the same way a child would because i am mentally disabled, not because i want to. And just because i process things slower doesn't mean I won't attempt to try.

𐂯 I don't like when people are mean to me or behave rudely with me (or other people tbh) especially when it's unnecessary. My emotions are that of a child and if you are mean I will think you're scary and hate me and want to hurt me. Is that true? In actuality probs not, but in the moment i dont know that. And if you are constantly mean, nitpicky and heavily judgemental to and about other people, i'm still going to react the same way bc my brain is going to think i will eventually be next (and i haven't been proven wrong yet, so.)

𐂯 Piggybacking off of the last one, i struggle with severe paranoia, ideas of reference and magical thinking. I WILL make mental connections that don't correlate or correspond with the topic at hand. im very sorry. at least the convo is never dry?... If you're a mean person or just say something mean and its a "i think people that are like this and do this are stupid and i'm better than them because i dont do these things and i find it stupid that they do" type of thing, i might distance myself. i can regulate my emotions regarding these symptoms pretty well, but i will still distance myself and limit how much i share about myself with you. i find it hard to trust or like mean people that think they are better than everyone. or people that are mean and take pride in others being hurt by their words. but im not gonna make u stop or change urself, just dont talk to me. i probably will avoid u anyways so its a win win for both of us tbh.

𐂯 I will not understand you or "read between the lines". If you're trying to communicate something w me, be direct and more importantly be kind. Being aggressive or lashing out at me will cause me to either block it out and respond coldly (attempt at shielding) or I might comply and lie to get you to calm down out of fear. the conflict wont be resolved either. If you cannot do that, do us both a favor and dont talk to me

𐂯 My thought to speech input and output is severely .. terrible. (ik ur sitting here rn and thinking "damn this nigga cant do anything!!!!" 😭)(dont actually treat me like that, though. i can tell when someone thinks im stupid or thinks lesser of me because of these things, because people that do are not good at hiding it.) I tend to get lost in what i was saying, repeat things over and over, talk in circles or just spew out straight up word salad. If it doesnt make sense to u chances are it probs doesnt make sense to me either. furthermore, i tend to explain things in detail (when im able to, bc i struggle with describing things a lot too) to make sure im not being misunderstood.

𐂯 My "sense of self" is unstable and i'd even argue that the chances of me having a stable or fixed "identity" is zero to none. Thats why i say i can be anything and everything, it's radical acceptance of what once made me feel lesser. idc if you think youre better than me for having a stable identity thats none of my business to be honest

𐂯 I am terrible at replies bc of my memory and tendency to be easily distracted. I am also always dissociating or daydreaming (listening to music and doing it, lost in my own fantasies and personal world.) Dont hound me for replies. i'll feel unsafe around you and feel like my autonomy is being threatened. gentle reminders are fine but dont get irrate or accuse me of not caring about you bcus of this. i'll stop speaking to you if you do. if u know that you cant handle sporadic replies then def dont talk to me theres hella cool people that reply in milliseconds go talk to them

𐂯 i struggle heavily with rumination and repeating the same stories or "getting upset all over again" when i remember something. it goes hand in hand with the memory loss in a weird way. i dont do so to gossip or antagonize anyone else, and i wont realize thats how i come off in the moment. it's just me expressing my feelings in a strong way. im working on this heavily tho cus i dont trust people anymore

𐂯 I tend to overexplain myself without realizing it simply because I feel like if people misunderstand me and get mad, they hate me and want to hurt me (and a lot of the times, thats what people do, so) it's not because of whatever other conclusion you may come to on that. i hate being misunderstood, it feels like danger is imminent whenever i am. dont wanna read my psychobabble? u dont gotta. click the x. what i wont do is overexplain myself or water myself down just to please someone else. can't please everybody! i refuse to attempt to please the chronically unpleased, too. the right people for me will understand and accept me, just like how the right people for you will understand and accept you.

𐂯 There are times where i am being a dick and don't realize it, just tell me that what I said was rude/inappropriate. be kind and gentle when doing so, because accusations (yes, even if i did do the thing or something close to it) causes me to be defensive and/or lie. i cannot process that i'm not going to be hit, unfortunately. im sure i'll overcome that tho, but until i do, yea.

i think u get the gist of what i'm trying to say here but if you have questions and/or concerns, ask and i will happily answer so that you understand me. ^ ^ Also please dont assume that because I require more needs than other people means that i think i'm more important or think it absolves me of wrongdoing and accountability. i think thats something i hate being accused of the most. it feels gross. if u feel this way abt me just leave me alone, we dont have to talk to each other, i dont need you to like or understand me. the people that are able to will.

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Pub: 13 Apr 2026 04:56 UTC

Edit: 30 May 2026 15:42 UTC

Views: 251