"i don't have any malicious intent with this."
yeah.

if someone is even reading this i know you dont know what this means. im too exhausted and scared to explain it. im tired. im tired of being lied to. i wish i could just make certain people forget all of who i am or ever was. i wish that if i somehow died it would just be all wiped from their brain immediately. and i know that if i die, my family will care, but others will still remember me. i wish i could just die in some places and not others. im not going to do something stupid like fake my own death, i really don't want to think of myself as THAT low. i don't know what else to do.
ive been wanting to go back to the hospital for a long time now. its always been the thing that helps me the most. because people adore me there. a little too much. people have called me their god. do i want that? do i want to be some evil cult leader? no. i told them to stop each and every time. they didnt. its not my fault, is it? i dont even know
the only reason im not in there right now is because im thinking of the bills. we just went on an expensive cruise, got a new really fancy deck a while ago, my mom is still paying off my residential and my siblings group therapy. im not adding to those bills more than i already have (i still often visit the er for seizures.)
this is a disgusting thing to say. nobody is here but myself. i can say whatever i want. i can say i hate that i love my dad. i can say i wish my best friend still gave a real fuck about me and would defend me. i can say i wish everyone from my old hellhole school forgot about me finally. my friend tell me not to let it get to me because they KNOW the people from there are all shitheads. but it still does. and the real thing i planned to say, the thing i said was disgusting. i wish i could just have a "permanent" seizure and stay unconscious and weary forever and not have to wake up groggy and vomit every 2 minutes with the pain of my head throbbing.
-
well, good news i guess, mom just told me on the first day of school after break we're having a huge grubhub!! we always have one every friday or so, but this is more of a schoolwide one i believe? the other ones you could choose to go to, and if you didnt want to you got to literally ANYWHERE else in the school you want :fire: and well do whatever you want its called FREE friday fo a reason â€ŧī¸ ive been super excited for all my gangstas to see my bald head.
what used to be bald đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜­đŸ˜žđŸ˜žâ˜šī¸â˜šī¸. â˜šī¸
dude it was SMOOOTHH bald 2 days ago when i got it SHAVED DOWN to the very bottom like kurt angle and now bffr dpmo its already grown back a ton â˜šī¸â˜šī¸â˜šī¸ fuck this shit i wanted to be bald is that too much to ask for??? why cant i be dark kurt angle in peace????? its been 2 DAYS why is it already easy to pluck strands off like dpmo i miss being able to put stickers on my fat head and rub a finger down my shiny pointy head i HATE TS 😞😞😞😞 i wanted to go to school so me and my friends could laugh at my bald head but now i cant because its hairy again and i guess i laughed with 2 of my friends who r now online 💔 but it wasnt really funny because theyre barely my friends anymore it feels like idk i thibk my best friend is beginning to come back ! weve been talking more and i dont have to text first sometimes so i think they really do hopefully care about me so i will report when and if he actually does text me first at all today please please please bestie â˜šī¸â˜šī¸ he dont see ts tho which is good i guess i dont want anyone i really know to read any of these
well dear dear diary blog flawg I'll live and I'll lock in . im excited to go back because this new school is SO PEAK !!!!!!!! RELEASE ME ALREADY â€ŧī¸â€ŧī¸

Edit

Pub: 05 Jan 2026 19:03 UTC

Views: 7