reugutujdujg hi all i have for now is whining 
love me. love me. please just love me. though you never will. you never ever will. you could have anyone. i am just another person to you, am i not? do you notice me much? i mean yes you do you always smile and say hi to me and you make me feel wanted, but not in that way. i want to really know what the hell i am. i know i'm impure. ew. disgusting. rot. rot. rot. unlovable wretch.
is this corny? is this just hormones? or am i just like this. maybe i'll grow out of it. maybe. i haven't for years. why can't i direct my hope from one thing to another?
idk
this is such a corny ass page sorry i dont have anywhere else for this i just want this one to rot in my table of contents and get lost among all the other entries alright back to whining
i want. idk. i want to just. know. i don't want to just stay here waiting for any answer or something. I've always hated prolonged suspense. i dont want to cling onto this ugly hope forever. i wish i could just know. i can't even talk about this to anyone because it's so horrid. i'm horrid. horrid henry ahh
"i want you to know, but i dont want to tell you." but do i really? do i really want them to know? am i just ignorant of the possible consequences? maybe my bitchass should start thinking just a lliiitttleeeee bit more huh
i just want you. no. i want peace. i wish i could know the truth. any sort of truth. i don't have even a slight clue about what i'm "up against," if i'm even up there with anyone. i wan't to know. i wan't to at least know if it's worth it to try, to "keep going." or is this just a treadmill, tiring me out and getting me nowhere?
this is such a corny blog post oh my god lock in