I, Who Paints Onto This Blank Canvas - Translation

Please read with either the script on https://sekai.best/storyreader/eventStory/53/ or with the in-game story. I don't mark any of the flashbacks.

Also known as "Totally Not Blue Period." Script from sekai.best. Translation notes come in brackets, I.E. [1], [2].
No proofreading, there's just a bunch re-going over done on this. It's a TL with a modicum of effort in it.

Naturally, some lines might be wrong, so I'd advise you to be smart and check translations before you use them to back an interpretation up or something.

I got most of the art terms wrong, maybe shoot me one at https://retrospring.net/010912 if you know what's up with those. Also please send corrections. I haven't TLed in a while I'm a tad bit rusty.

Translation by 010912


Chapter 1 - Fears of Being Left Behind

Location: Ena's Room

Ena: ... No.
Ena: I feel like... this art doesn't match up with Kanade and Mafuyu's song.
Ena: ... Maybe the colors are way too bright this time. I should redraw it again.
Ena: ......
Ena: (... Feels like with whatever I draw lately, this sense of "something's not right" is growing.)
Ena: (Mafuyu's lyrics are now different to how she was writing them before, so it seems like that sense is getting stronger, little by little...)
Kanade: <Good work. Is everyone here?>
Mafuyu: <... I'm here.>
Ena: Ah, what, it's already time? I'll go unmute, then...
Ena: <Good work. I'm here.>
Mizuki: <Hm? Seems like everyone's on time today
Kanade: <Right, then, shall we start working?>
Ena: <Ah, before that... Can I have a minute?>
Kanade: <What is it, Enanan?>
Ena: <Well... I kinda hit a wall with our next song's sketch. Can I ask you guys to take a look?>
Mizuki: <Aw, sure! I'm fine with it
Kande: <So am I. Can you send it through Nightcord?>
Ena: <... Yeah. I'll send it over now.>
Mizuki: <Let's see, let's see~?>
Ena: <... Well?>
Kanade: <... I don't think it's bad.>
Kanade: <You managed to pin down the song's theme, and the color tone fits well too.>
Kanade: <It's just... It seems like the whole thing's hard to read.>
Mizuki: <Mmm, I getcha there. Seems like you're... lost?>
Ena: <Lost...>
Kanade: <What do you think, Yuki?>
Mafuyu: <......>
Mafuyu: <I don't hate the ambience of it.>
Mafuyu: <It's not detached from the impression of K's song, is what I think. But—>
Ena: <... But?>
Mafuyu: <Is this all?>
Ena: <Eh?>
Mafuyu: <You have so much you want to say, yet you can't say it well—is the kind of feeling I get from this.>
Mafuyu: <Is this all you have to say, Ena?>
Ena: <All I have... to say...>
Ena: (The things I want to say, are what I felt when I listened to Kanade's melody, and read Mafuyu's lyrics.)
Ena: (... Now that she says it, there's a divide between the expression and that feeling.)
???: With how you are now, I can't sense any growth or want to grow, Shinonome-san.
Ena: ...... Ngh.
Kanade: <Enanan, are you okay?>
Ena: <... Yeah, it's nothing.>
Kanade: <I see...?>
Mizuki: <Weeeell, we still have some time. Let's think about it together.>
Mizuki: <I'll think up some pretty snazzy storyboards too, so
Ena: <—Yeah, thank you.>
Ena: (—Ah, I see.)
Ena: (This feeling, it's the same as before.)
Ena: (Well, it's Mafuyu's lyrics too, but... The same's for Kanade's songs. The breadth of what everyone can express is expanding, quickly, and yet it feels like I'm lagging behind—)
Ena: (If it stays like this, will I be the only one left behind...?)
Ena: (If it turns out that I can't express Kanade and Mafuyu's songs [1], then—)
Ena: (... No.)
Ena: (I have to keep drawing, more and more.)
Ena: (So I can express Kanade and Mafuyu's songs, I have to study it all—composition, colors, technique.)
Ena: (But...)
Ena: (—I know it's not that easy. I've always... been "there", after all.)
Ena: (For a fool who skipped 2 years to be able to draw again so soon... Art is far from being something easy.)

Time: Some years ago
Location: Art Classroom

Ena (Middle School): ... Nice, looks good.
Ena: (Today's dessin [2] was pretty neat, wasn't it? With this, maybe even Yukihira-sensei can praise me.)
Yukihira: Okay, stop. I will start reviewing. Please submit your piece at the front of the class.
Yukihira: Well, I'll start from the beginning. Whose dessin is this?
???: Ah, oh, um, y-yes! That's mine! Please go ahead, Yukihira-sensei.
Yukihira: Natsuno Futaba-san, hm. Mmm... this is quite terrible.
Futaba: !
Yukihira: It's like there's no sense of spatial awareness. What exactly have you been looking at this whole period?
Futaba: Ah... U, Um...!
Students: .......
Yukihira: Observe the pedestal the bust is on. That's basics. If you want to create depth, take note of these places—
Ena: (Whoa, his way of critique is as scathing as usual... Everyone's shaking in their boots.)
Ena: (Well, I won't be discouraged at something like this.)
Yukihira: Next. Yours, please?
Ena: Yes! Please, go ahead.
Yukihira: You're Shinonome-san, hm. Well then, let's begin.
Yukihira: —Your composition is not bad. You drew it in a way that it was easy to understand the subject you were highlighting.
Ena: ...! Thank you!
Ena: (I... I got praised! By that Yukihira-sensei...)
Yukihira: However, you get 0 points for texture. You could call this a bronze statue moreso than a plaster bust.
Ena: Eh...
Yukihira: Be sure to use more neutral colors next time. Then, next.
Student: Ah, uh, by all means!
Ena: ......
Yukihira: Let's end it here. Good work, everybody.
Students: "Thank you!"
Ena: Good lord... I know what neutral colors are! I've been attending for like 5 years or more!
Ena: (My dad did say Yukihira-sensei was tough as nails, but wow, he [3] didn't praise anyone at all...)
Ena: (He's a teacher that did receive tons of famous awards, and I get that because this class is one that people aiming for... TUA? Tokyo University of Arts [4], go to, it's pretty high skill, but...)
Ena: (But I got the no-praise teacher to say my "composition wasn't bad". I don't think he ever says that to other people, so.)
Ena: (Yeah, it's 'cause of that, isn't it. It's 'cause I'm going to become a painter, just like my dad—)


1 - Notes

[1] She says 「奏達」, lit. "Kanade and the others" which makes sense, because it's faster to say in JP than 「奏とまふゆ」, but then IMO the literal TL doesn't make much sense in ENG... because there is no others. Just Mafuyu. Mizuki doesn't have any hand in songwriting.
[2] French for "drawing", I think it's still life studies. I forgot, it was in Blue Period.
[3] Actual school. Look it up. It's called "geijutsu daigaku" instead of "bijitsu daigaku" but there's practically a one kanji difference. Also, I thought 「東美」 was shorthand for 「東京美術大学」, so I translated it as the acronym.
[4] Friend told me there was more context clues for Yukihira being a guy.


Chapter 2 - What I Couldn't See

Time: A few days later
Location: Art Classroom

Yukihira: Today, you'll be doing dessin of flowers. Please do not forget to take note of the texture and three-dimensional feel.
Yukihira: This is no good. You're not bringing out the key colors of the subject. Your paint stroke width is too small, and the subject will feel like it's only made of one material.
Student: Okay...
Ena (Middle School): So, then, I have to paint it more minutely—
Yukihira: Do it again. Watch it, grasp the feel, then draw. Muster the sense into your body.
Ena: Watch it, grasp the feel...

Time: After class

???: Whoa...! Ena-chan, your art is amazing! I should take reference of the way you use colors too.
Ena: Hehe, ain't it? How's yours, Futaba?
Futaba: Oh, I'm far from being done. Even though we started at the same time, there's such a huge difference between us, huh...
Ena: Naaah, don't worry about that! Yeah, you need some good sense for art, but if you put some hard work into it, you can keep moving forward.
Futaba: Ahaha. Agreed!
Futaba: Oh yeah, it's about time for exam season, but... Ena-chan, have you thought about where you want to go?
Ena: Yeah! I think I wanna go to a high school that focuses on art too.
Ena: I haven't decided where exactly though, so after I research a bunch, I think I'll try to ask my dad about it.
Futaba: I see, you're going to ask Shinonome-sensei... I want to keep on being an artist too, so I have to think about where to go from here, huh...
Ena: Yeah, I think that's good to think about. You only live once, after all, so you should do whatever you want to do.

Time: A few days later
Location: Shinonome Household - Living Room

Ena: Heeey, dad.
Ena: So about which school I'm gonna take exams for, which one's good between these? They both have art departments, so I thought, I wanted to start studying more thoroughly.
Ena's Father: Art departments?
Ena: Yeah. Y'know, I'm aiming to be an artist and all.
Ena: If I start early, I can study it well—
Ena's Father: Stop it.
Ena: Eh?
Ena's Father: You don't have the talent to become an artist.
Ena: Wh—... W-What are you saying? Ah, ha—is that a joke? Stop it, that's not funny, y'know.
Ena's Father: I'm serious. You don't have the talent for art.
Ena: ... That's not... true. After all, I've been drawing since I was a kid, and I won that special award at the middle school art contest...
Ena's Father: I know. But there's a lot of people out there who want to become professionals.
Ena's Father: And, if you don't have the capacity to win a contest's best award, nobody will look your way.
Ena: ... Why?
Ena: Why... are you telling me this, all of a sudden? You've never said anything like this!
Ena: I'm completely serious, so why...!
Ena's Father: —Ena.
Ena's Father: You'll never become the artist you strive to be.
Ena's Father: ... But you might've been able to, if you had enough talent beforehand.
Ena: ... What... the hell...
Ena: Then, you're telling me all the things I've been drawing, are all for naught?
Ena: That even if I pour my all into it, it's nothing if I don't have the talent!?
Ena's Father: ... Yes. At the very least, that's what this world thinks.
Ena's Father: As you are now, there's no possibilities for you.
Ena: ... Ugh!
Ena: ... Don't... decide that for me...
Ena: Don't just decide my future for me!

Time: The next day

Futaba: ... Huh? Classes have already started, but Ena-chan isn't here yet. What happened...?
Futaba: Ah, Ena-chan! ... Huh?
Ena: (... I don't... have any talent...?)
Ena: (That's not true. I've been... drawing, always, and even the teacher complimented my art—)
Yukihira: Thank you for waiting, everyone. Starting from today, we will do our winter course, with a couple of external mixed students. Class, I hope we all do our best.
Ena: (I'm supposed to have talent, so...!)

Yukihira: I'll start reviewing your pieces. Starting from this one.
Ena: Yes, that's mine!
Ena: (I think... I drew this piece pretty well. With this, certainly, Yukihira-sensei will—)
Yukihira: This is... a forest, and a path. Hmmm...
Ena: ......
Yukihira: —I don't know where to look. Your centerpiece here, the big tree within the forest, I cannot focus on it.
Yukihira: For this composition, you get 0 points.
Ena: ... Eh?
Ena: B-But teacher, you praised my composition from last time, right...? That nuance you said was "good", I properly used it again!
Ena: Besides, if you had to focus on something, it'd be the finer detail [1]...!
Yukihira: The amount of fine detail you've drawn, and the subject now are different from last time. If you understood that, you'd have to cut the composition off at the top.
Yukihira: If you draw because you're fine with someone praising you once, and not because you feel you have to get better and figure out what to do next more thoroughly, then there's not a single ounce of meaning to it. Do you understand?
Ena: I... I-I know that. But...!
Yukihira: —I see. It seems like I cannot mince my words when it comes to conveying something to you.
Yukihira: You are overestimating yourself, Shinonome-san.
Ena: —!!
Yukihira: If you only want to draw pieces that people will praise you for, then there's no need for you to be here now, is there?
Yukihira: With how you are now, I can't sense any growth or want to grow, Shinonome-san.
Ena: Huh... Eh...?
Ena: (No... What... is this... silence...?)
Futaba: E-Ena-chan...
Yukihira: Then, I shall proceed to the next one.
Yukihira: ... It's quite hard to understand where the centerpiece is on this one. One should be able to tell what's drawn from the whole image, even when squinting. However—
Yukihira: You've done well with the details.
Ena: ...!
Ena: (What? The teacher just praised that person—? Why? Even though he rarely does that...)
Ena: (Is it because there's external mixed students...?)
Yukihira: Next... Natsuno-san?
Futaba: Y-Yes!
Yukihira: Hmm...
Futaba: ......
Yukihira: —This is quite nice. The beauty of the distorted reflection on the glass is well displayed.
Yukihira: Regarding the last assignment and your depth's width, there's a clear improvement there. I can get a sense of the span here.
Futaba: Ah...!
Futaba: Thank you so much!
Ena: ... Ah...
Ena: (No, he isn't just deliberately handing out compliments...)
Ena: (That piece from earlier, and Futaba's piece... are both good art. The composition and color usage... compared to me, they're totally...)
Ena: (My pieces... My... art...)
Ena: (Then, that means I'm truly...)

Time: A few days later

Ena: .......
Yukihira: For today's free work, the theme is—your "Self." All of you, please draw as you like.
Ena: (... The "Self"?)
Ena: (My... self, huh. What was that, again?)
Ena: (I am—the daughter of a famous artist... I've been drawing since I was young, and everyone around me praised me for my art...)
Yukihira: With how you are now, I can't sense any growth or want to grow, Shinonome-san.
Ena's Father: You don't have the talent to become an artist.
Ena: (I'm—)
Yukihira: Alright, it's time for reviews.
Ena: (... I wasn't able to draw a thing.)
Ena: (Was Futaba's art always this great...? There's so much punch to it, and the expression is so vivid—)
Ena: (Since when was she able to draw like this...?)
Ena: (... No. I just never saw it. It's not just Futaba. Everyone in this classroom, and their art, compared to mine has always been...)
Yukihira: First... We're starting with Shinonome-san's piece.
Ena: (Please, no...)
Ena: (Stop. Don't judge me, please.)
Ena: (If even the teacher tells me that I'm worthless, that I have no talent, then I'm—)
Yukihira: This is—
Yukihira: ... I have nothing to tell you right now, Shinonome-san.
Ena: Ah...
Futaba: —na-chan, Ena-chan!
Futaba: Ena-chan, are you okay...?
Ena: ... Ah, eh, what?
Futaba: Um, the review is done...
Ena: Ah, really. Sorry, I was spacing out.
Ena: —I'm going home.
Futaba: Ah, w-wait! Ena-chan!
Yukihira: ......


2 - Notes

Damn you Yukihira. Bugger off with your Art Terms, you dinky, nerdy little muppet.
Also this felt like a Greek Tragedy to watch, but that's probably because I was listening to classical while translating.
[1] 「描きこみ」as "fine detail" or "details". From what I can tell, this word gives off a more painstakingly painted impression than the word 描く by itself. I might be wrong. I actually have no idea what this word means, this is just, wow... Strategical inference!


Chapter 3 - The Feelings From That Time

Location: Ena's Room

Ena: (—That was the last time I ever stepped into that art classroom.)
Ena: (I didn't even say my partings, and my mom got real mad.)
Yukihira: ... I have nothing to tell you right now, Shinonome-san.
Ena: ......
Ena: (Nah, that's unrelated to what I'm doing now. Uh... If I remember right, I have a reference book somewhere around here...)
Ena: —Ah, there it is. That's nostalgic. How many times did I study this thing again?
Ena: ... Huh? There's a note...
Ena: "From Art Department - Yukihira Notice Of Spring Intensive Course"...
Message: "Shinonome-san, please feel free to come by again, anytime."
Ena: ... Ah...
Ena: Oh right, ever since I stopped, they only tried to conact me like, once.
Ena: Well, it seemed like I never wanted to go again because of the way I quit, but...
Ena: (... It's the season for spring courses, huh.)
Ena: (If I went back to that class—there's the chance that I could get even better...)
Ena: (Yukihira-sensei is an incredible teacher, and there's a lot of people who got accepted into TUA from that class...)
Ena: (... But...)
Ena: (Everyone else is definitely going to be at a much better than me... It's going to be absolutely nothing like before.)
Ena: (And since I quit so suddenly, people are gonna give me odd stares for sure—)
Ena: ... Ugh...
Ena: (God, just imagining it is making my stomach twist...)
Ena: ......
Ena: (I know it's best if I go. I know that, but...)
Ena: That's just... so miserable...

Time: The next day

Ena: Ahh...
Ena: (Well, I have to finish the new song's sketch layouts. I've really kept them waiting, after all.)
Ena: (But, if I draw with the way I am now, certainly...)
Ena: (... Yeah, no, I can't draw. Hell, the more I drew, the farther away from the image I wanted I went.)
Ena: ... I'm gonna go cool off.
Mizuki: <Yoohoo! Enanan, you there?>
Ena: Ah— <Yeah, I'm here. Why?>
Mizuki: <Was wondering, like, about hoooow was your progress. You still stuck?>
Ena: <... Mmm. Well, I'm just worrying about stuff.>
Mizuki: <......?>
Mizuki: <Hey, Enanan? Is there something up?>
Ena: <Huh? W-Why, so suddenly?>
Mizuki: <I mean, you seem pretty worried about before. You sound pretty tired again today 'n all, so I was like, hmm, is somethin' up?>
Ena: <That's...>
Mizuki: <... Ah, if you don't want to, you don't have to tell me, of course.>
Mizuki: <You did tell me exactly that, Enanan.>
Mizuki: <But, if talking about it makes you feel better, then tell me about it whenever.>
Ena: <Mizuki...>
Ena: (... That is true.)
Ena: (... I said something like "Since we're friends, I want you to talk to me someday." Yet here I am, completely quiet. That makes no sense, doesn't it.)
Ena: (Then—)
Ena: <Okay, then... Can you hear me out for a bit?>
Mizuki: <...! Sure
Mizuki: <—Eh? You feel like your skills are falling behind?>
Ena: <Yeah, I've been taking my sweet time drawing for 25ji lately.>
Ena: <K and Yuki's realm of expression is widening really fast... I'm the only one who's lagging behind.>
Mizuki: <Enanan...>
Ena: <At this rate, I might not be able to express K and Yuki's songs. That's why...>
Ena: <... Truth is, I thought it'd be good to study art seriously once again.>
Mizuki: <Mmm—I think you don't have to overthink it that much.>
Mizuki: <Because me, and everyone else, we all love your art, Enanan.>
Ena: <......>
Ena: <Thank you. But, even just standing in you guys' way, I don't want that. So I want to do what I can.>
Ena: <So, like... I kinda remembered this art class I used to go to.>
Ena: <The teacher is pretty amazing, so I think if I go, I'll be able to learn a lot... But I don't have particularly fond memories of the class.>
Ena: <And besides, if I go... I'll just realize the extent of that two year gap between me and everyone else who's attending it.>
Mizuki: <......>
Ena: <... But... I wonder, do I really just leave it at that...?>
Mizuki: <... I seeee...>
Mizuki: <It hurts, doesn't it. Coming face to face with the things you have to face. [1]>
Mizuki: <When you think about that, your head goes all wild and scrambled, so you're just like, "Ah, whatever!" and disregard it.>
Ena: <Ahaha, yeah, it's pretty much like that. Then thinking becomes a pain in the ass and all you do is lie down and take breaks...>
Ena: <This is all ever I do, huh.>
Mizuki: <......>
Mizuki: <Oh, well—oh yeah! It's surprising to hear that you went to art class, Enanan.>
Ena: <Wha? The hell you mean?>
Mizuki: <Ahaha, sorry, sorry. It's just that I can't imagine you earnestly studying in an art classroom. When did you start going?>
Ena: <I started when I was in 2nd grade elementary, then I stopped in 3rd grade junior high. I went every week.>
Ena: <My father's friend ran an art class... I went to an exhibit that had his art one time, and I told him his art was beautiful. Then he talked to me about how if I'd like, I should check out his art class, that kinda thing.>
Mizuki: <Whoaaa. So your dad's friend was the one teaching you?>
Ena: <Yeah. Though he was a pretty straightforward critic, so the whole class was always so nervous.>
Ena: <I started from doing dessin studies, then I was taught how to use watercolors and oils and stuff too. Oh, and stuff like clay art, too.>
Mizuki: <Clay? Even though it was a painting [2] class?>
Ena: <It's pretty good for practicing your grasp on three-dimensional objects. Also, some of the students were interested in it.>
Mizuki: <Wow~! Seems really interesting~! I kinda wanna do it now too.>
Mizuki: <What kinda stuff were you drawing back then, Enanan? Is it just like the stuff you draw for 25ji now?>
Ena: <What kind... I drew all sorts of things, so I can't say anything specific, but—>
Ena: <Before I stumbled upon K's music, I would get inspiration from listening to all sorts of songs.>
Ena: <... During those times. I wouldn't just absentmindedly draw, I'd think about what about the song was enticing, and I would make something pretty nice.>
Mizuki: <I feel ya there, somehow. Whenver I sit down to make a 25ji MV, I think about the same stuff too.>
Ena: <Yeah. In that sense, I think I was able to put that to use in 25ji.>
Ena: <What else... I made a scrapbook full of "things I like" once.>
Mizuki: <Oh! I made something like that back then too! I'd take pages from my fave magazines, and handouts from my fave movies, then I'd cut 'n paste them. That was pretty fun
Mizuki: <What kinda stuff did you collect?>
Ena: <Huh? Uh, hmm... I pasted flyers from art exhibits I liked, and I redrew buildings with interesting shapes...>
Ena: <There were magazine cutouts too. And then, Akito had a CD with a intriguing cover, so I redrew that too—>
Ena: <Ah. I added some things from makeup I liked, then the teacher told me it was "very Shinonome-san-like", and I still do not understand that to this day. I don't even use makeup that much...>
Mizuki: <Mmm—I kinda get where he's coming from. So, after you made the scrapbook, what'd you do with it?>
Ena: <The scrapbook was really just a hint for me to find my "key points", so I don't think I did anything with it, really. But, after that, when I'd show my work to the teacher he'd—>
Mizuki: <... Hehe.>
Ena: <Hey, what're you laughing at?>
Mizuki: <Sorry, sorry! It's just that, you seem like you're having fun.>
Ena: <... Having fun?>
Mizuki: <Yeah. You said you didn't have much good memories of it, but you got to do a lot of things that you would've have been able to do in a standard school class otherwise.>
Ena: <... Mmm, well, there were times like that—>
Ena: (Ah—)
Ena: (Yeah. There were times where I was enjoying myself, too.)
Ena: <......>
Mizuki: <He—ey, Enanan? Why'd you suddenly go quiet?>
Ena: <Ah, oh, it's nothing.>
Ena: (... I wonder why. Thinking about those times, it feels like I'm becoming a bit less distressed about it.)
Ena: ......
Ena: (The dessin studies, the clay art, and the scrapbook—I haven't laid a finger on those at all, and I really hate the pain, but...)
Ena: <... Mizuki.>
Mizuki: <Yeah?>
Ena: <—Thank you.>
Mizuki: <It's nothing. When in trouble, we have each other's backs, y'know ♪>


3 - Notes

[1] This doesn't make sense on the surface, but I think it's like, having to do things you absolutely need to despite it all.
[2] I translate 「絵」 as "art" in general because it's easier to read than like "painting" or "drawing" all the time, but that class very much gives off the impression of being mostly a painting class.


Chapter 4 - Once Again, At That Place

Time: 3 days later
Location: Ena's Room

Ena: (... There's still 3 hours until the spring course application cut-off.)
Ena: (I should give them a call.)
Ena: If I remember right... There was a number written on the note.
Ena: ......
Ena: (God, this is terrifying... My heart is pounding so much.)
Yukihira: "Hello. Yukihira from the Art Department speaking."
Ena: Ah...! U-Uh, um, h-hello...
Yukihira: ! —Is that you, Shinonome-san?
Ena: Ehgh...!? Ah, um, ah... yeah, uh...
Ena: Yes... It's been a while... I'm Shinonome... Shinonome Ena.

Time: 1AM
Location: Mizuki's Room

Mizuki: <Good work—! Everyone there?>
Kanade: <—Yeah. I've already started working.>
Mafuyu: <Me too... Enanan's not around yet.>
Mizuki: <Ah... I seeee...>
Mizuki: (I wonder if Ena's okay...)
Ena: <Good work. Sorry for the hold up.>
Mizuki: <Enanan! Did it go well?>
Kanade: <What went well...?>
Mizuki: <Ah! Y'know, she was really worried about the sketch, so I was curious about it! So, err, then... how is it?>
Ena: <About that... Sorry. I think you guys have to wait a bit longer.>
Mizuki: <Eh?>
Mafuyu: <You're still not satisfied with it?>
Ena: <... That's true too, but...>
Ena: <I think, I want to start studying art.>
Kanade: <Study?>
Ena: <Yeah. I found this note from this old art class I went to... I want to go there again, I thought.>
Ena: <Not just my sketches now, but the ones before, too—with the way I am I don't think I can draw something I'd be satisfied with.>
Ena: <Of course, I'll draw this song's sketch. I don't intend to be a hindrance.>
Mizuki: <...! Yeah! That's a-okay
Mizuki: <Ah, err, I'm okay with it... How about K and Yuki?>
Kanade: <If it's important to Enanan, then I'm alright with it.>
Mafuyu: <... If it's for our songs, sure.>
Ena: <I'm very slightly bothered by how Yuki said that, but... Thank you, everyone.>
Ena: <So that I can begin to draw the image that K and Yuki's songs have, I'll study.>
Kanade: <I understand. Do your best, Enanan.>
Ena: <Yeah, thank you.>

Time: A few days later
Location: Miyamasuzaka

Ena: ... Hahh...
Ena: (I should be prepared—but my feet feel so heavy...)
Ena: (The school is right in front of me, yet it feels so far.)
Ena: (... I wonder if everyone who was attending that class back then are still there.)
Ena: (If they've been attending since that day, for these last 2 years... Just drawing, always...)
Ena: ...... Ugh.
Ena: (... I feel... sick...)
???: Huh... The person there... Ena-chan?
Ena: Eh? Ah...
Futaba: Whoa...! Ena-chan, your art is amazing!
Ena: ... Futaba?
Futaba: It is you, Ena-chan. It's been a while!
Futaba: Ah... That's a bag for class, right? Are you going to the spring course, the one that starts today, maybe?
Ena: Erm, uh... Yeah, pretty much...
Futaba: Really!? You coming back makes me pretty glad!
Futaba: Ah, let's go together then. The way you enter the class is a bit different too, since it's been a while.
Ena: Eh. Ah... Wait, uh...
Futaba: It's this way, c'mon. Ena-chan!


Chapter 5 - Furthered Distance

Ena: (I... It's there. Right next to that huge building... Huh?)
Ena: (... There's art decorated on the entrance. Are they works from the students here...? So they ended up being decorations over here.)
Ena: (... They're all incredible. Like this one, especially, I feel like I'm getting sucked into it—)
Ena: (... Eh, this... It's Futaba's...?)
Ena: (She's gotten this good...? This one too—)
Ena: (... These are all pieces, from everyone I was with in that classroom back then...)
Ena: (Everyone's skills have gotten so much better since 2 years ago...)
Futaba: What's wrong, Ena-chan?
Ena: Ah... It's nothing. Erm...
Futaba: The classroom is this way. Let's go.
Ena: —Yeah.

Location: Art Classroom

Ena: Ah...
Ena: (... This classroom is tinged with the smell of paint. That's really nostalgic...)
Futaba: Ena-chan, there's chairs and easels by the window. Let's setup around... There's a lot of people, so let's setup this way.
Ena: ... Yeah.
Ena: (... I'm here. I've gotten this far, I have to do this.)
Ena: (... I thought I'd recognize a lot of them, but I guess it's not to that extent. I know about half of these people, maybe. And there's external students too, seems like.)
Yukihira: Hello, everyone. To the external students that have come here, welcome. I'm the adviser of this class, Yukihira Saenatsu.
Yukihira: ... I'm glad to see some old faces today, as well.
Yukihira: So, three days from now. While reviewing the basics, I thought of having a lecture in order to help everyone find their style and expression. I look forward to working with you all.
Ena: (So our course this time is dessin on the 1st day, oil painting on the 2nd day, and then the 3rd day is free work with a theme...)
Ena: (I'm decent at dessin studies... But, as I am now...)
Ena: (... No, no. I have to do this. For the sake of my art for 25ji, too...!)
Yukihira: You over there, you paid too much attention to the light source and there's too much detail now. For example, this part here—
Ena: ......
Ena: (—The subject is flowers and a plaster bust. The texture of these things are absolutely different, so I have to be careful if I want to make that difference pop.)
Ena: ...... Ngh.
Ena: (I can't draw this well... Is it because it's been a while since I drew a bust like this?)
Ena: (The light source is all wrong, and there's no sense of depth...)
Ena: (... What do I do... I don't know. Even though I have to look more closely and draw it...)
Ena: Ah, the pencil...
Ena: Sorry, Futaba. I dropped my pencil over there—
Futaba: ......
Ena: (... That's some incredible focus. She didn't even notice me talking to her.)
Ena: (No, she's just being serious. I have to get my pencil too, and quick... Wait—)
Ena: ...! What... is this...?
Ena: (I've never seen a dessin piece so... real. The way the shadows are drawn are so fine—)
Ena: (This presentation of the neutral tones... This is practically on par with professionals, isn't it...!)
Yukihira: —Shinonome-san, are you alright?
Ena: Ah... Yes.
Ena: (... I have to keep drawing. Even my own dessin is not up to snuff yet.)
Ena: (But...)
Ena: (No—I can't get lost.)
Ena: (Right now, I have to draw—I have no choice but to keep drawing. I already knew I had the worst skill amongst this pack, even before I came here...!)
Yukihira: Okay, it's time. I'll review everyone's piece now.
Yukihira: Please submit your piece at the front.
Yukihira: Let's begin, then. Whose dessin is this?
Ena: Ah... Yes. That's mine.
Yukihira: On the whole, everything's slanted, and the jaw [1] is crooked. Shinonome-san, is this really the shape of the bust you've been looking at?
Yukihira: The shading is quite light. You've completely forgotten your basics.
Ena: ......
Yukihira: Next. This one—Natsuno-san, yes?
Futaba: Yes.
Yukihira: ... Hmm.
Yukihira: I don't have much to say. If I really had to, I'd say this is satisfactory. Though do pay more attention to the composition.
Ena: Ah...
Ena: (... He's right. Futaba's dessin is incredible.)
Ena: (Her art now—it's leagues better than back then. She's surely been drawing tons of art since that day.)
Ena: (I seriously didn't know, that this is how it'd turn out.)
Ena: (I ran away, I skipped, and in that time that I did she was always drawing here, for 2 years, that's why—)
Ena: (... It's over...)
Futaba: Ena-chan, is everything okay? You look really pale.
Ena: Yeah, I'm fine... Sorry, I have to go home.
Futaba: Ah...
Futuba: Hey, maybe I can accompany you home? I'll hurry and fix up my things.
Ena: ... Oh, well, that's fine...
Futaba: Thanks! Give me a bit.
Futaba: Ena-chan, how was your first time in class after a while?
Ena: Ahh... I don't feel like it was any different.
Futaba: What wasn't different... The class?
Ena: Yeah. Like, that permeating sense of suffocating...
Ena: (And to add on to that... It's not any different from before. I still can't draw well at all. The teacher told some really harsh critiques, but I felt like, yeah, that's par for the course, isn't it.)
Ena: (... Why, oh why did I run away? If I kept it up there, maybe compared to now, I'd be—)
Futaba: Suffocating, huh... You are right, it does feel like that. Since Yukihira-sensei's strictness never changed all this time.
Ena: ... But, Futaba, you're amazing. You kept it up and attended, after all.
Ena: What've you been up to since then?
Futaba: Ah... Yeah. I've been drawing for my high school's art club, and I've been coming here every day.
Ena: Every day? Wasn't the schedule like, once per week back then?
Futaba: Actually, I want to attend TUA—Tokyo University of Arts.
Ena: Eh...! By TUA, you mean that TUA, right?
Futaba: Yes. But TUA has the lowest acceptance rate in Japan, so I didn't think I'd pass by just doing things as I'd usually do them. So, I asked my mom to get me to attend every day.
Ena: ... I see.
Ena: (Futaba's drawing, with all her earnestness... Unlike this me, who booked it as soon as she could.)
Ena: (That's why even her dessin is—)
Futaba: Um, Ena-chan, I have something I've been wanting to say, but...
Ena: ... What is it?
Futaba: I like your art, Ena-chan. That's why, when you went back to that class, I was really happy.
Ena: Eh...? What, you like it, what about it do you...?
Futaba: Well, you know, I've always thought your art had a bit of a mysterious air to it.
Futaba: The world you see is different from mine, or, err, rather... It's got a quality that other people can't express...
Futaba: Actually, there's been times where I tried to imitate some of your art. But, I felt like that I wouldn't be able to draw something quite like you do, Ena-chan.
Ena: ......
Ena: ... Then, Futaba. What did you think of my art, today?
Futaba: Eh? That's...
Futaba: ... I think Yukihira-sensei was right, about what he said.
Ena: ... Yeah...
Futaba: But like, that's not all—
Ena: ... Ahh, sorry. I did say I have to get home early today right?
Ena: Sorry, I'll be on my way.
Futaba: Ah... Y-Yeah. Um, Ena-chan!
Ena: ... What?
Futaba: See you tomorrow!
Ena: ... Yeah.


5 - Notes

Stop. Please. No more Yukihira. What the hell is a 描きこみ.
Also, ouch.
[1] Assuming jaw of the bust.


Chapter 6 - Halted Paintbrush

Location: Shinonome Household - Living Room

Ena: ... I'm home.
Ena's Mother: Welcome back, Ena. So how was your revisit to the art class?
Ena: Not mindblowing. Same as last time... I'll be having lunch in my room.
Ena's Mother: Ah, wait, Ena!
Ena's Father: ......

Time: A few hours later
Location: Ena's Room

Ena: ... It's already past 12.
Ena: (... I did tell 25ji last time that "I'll be going to art school from today," so I probably should report back to them about it...)
Ena: (But... If they ask me "how was it", I might—)
Message: <I'll take a bit of a break today, so I'll work offline.>
Mizuki's Message: <Goootcha! Don't push yourself, aight?>
Mafuyu's Message: <Understood.>
Kanade: <Please rest well, so you can feel better. Don't worry about us.>
Ena: ......
Ena: ... I have to draw the sketch too. It's been days since I drew anything.
Ena: But... What should I even draw...
Ena: ... It's just like back then.
Ena: Once I worry I just stop, huh. Now, I have to get my hand to move—

Time: The next day
Location: Art Classroom

Ena: ......
Ena: (It's oil paints for the 2nd day... I've been praised for my color usage in the past, and I drew pieces that were at least satisfactory in middle school, but...)
Futaba: Good morning, Ena-chan. You're pretty early today.
Ena: Ah... Mm, morning.
Futaba: Looks like we'll be doing landscape painting today. Let's do our best.
Yukihira: It'd be best if you spent more time on the base tone. Your colors are all uneven.
Student A: Yes, understood.
Ena: ......
Ena: (... I'm done with my line sketch. Though... I feel like this won't cut it.)
Ena: (But, what's wrong with this? Maybe the base tone is too light. Or the persepective is skewed?)
Ena: (... I'm starting to just redraw the whole thing...)
Ena: (... I wonder how Futaba's doing.)
Ena: (Ah... She's starting to add rough shading. And, that's some incredible presence—)
Ena: (... And, my piece is...)
Yukihira: Alright, that's it for today. Thank you for your hard work, everyone.
Students: "Thank you!"
Ena: (I couldn't draw well during the 2nd day either. And Yukihira-sensei's criticisms are going to be harsh as usual—)
Ena: (... It's been years since I drew anything serious to begin with, so there was no way I'd get back into it in just a few days.)
Futaba: Hey, Ena-chan, if it's okay, can w—
Ena: ... Sorry. I'm a bit tired. I'll go home alone today, byebye.
Futaba: Ah...!
Futaba: Ena-chan...
Yukihira: ......
Ena: I'm home... Ah, mom's out today, huh?
Ena: ... Maybe I should drink some tea...
Ena: (... Huh, is someone there? Mom said she was going out today, so, is that Akito...?)
???: —Ena. You're home.
Ena: ...! Dad...!? Why are you...
Ena's Father: I got out of the studio early.
Ena's Father: Besides that—how was your class?
Ena: Eh, why're you asking me that...?
Ena's Father: I heard about it from Yukihira.
Ena's Father: So—were you able to draw something you were satisfied with?
Ena: ......
Ena's Father: ... I see.
Ena's Father: ... Are you going to continue?
Ena: ......
Ena: ... I have no choice to. Besides, there's still one more day...
Ena's Father: I'm not just talking about the spring course. For as long as you continue to draw—the pain you feel now will continue on.
Ena's Father: You might never be satisfied with what you draw, or you might not be able to draw anything at all. Can you continue to face that pain, from now on?
Ena: Th... That's...
Ena: (Can I continue to face the pain? How could I... even know that...?)
Ena: (Even now, I'm in a place where I don't belong, being criticized to hell in front of others, and experiencing shame...)
Ena: (I've only going for 2 days... And yet, it's so painful, I feel like I'm about to throw up...)
Ena: (... But...)
Ena: (... I'm not going to run away.)
Ena: That's why... I have to draw...

Location: Desolate Sekai

Kanade: —So, how's our demo this time?
Rin: ... It's not bad?
Miku: ... It's a song that makes my chest feel light. I want to see Mafuyu's lyrics soon, too.
Mafuyu: I see...
Luka: However, didn't you say that your last song wasn't even uploaded yet? Since you all were waiting for the art to finish the MV.
Rin: ......
Kanade: Yeah, so we ended up talking about me making some new demos ahead of time. And this is one of those demos.
Luka: Hmm. So, it was like that, huh.
Luka: I wonder, though, if she's alright. Ena hasn't been able to draw, has she?
Kanade: ... Yeah, she's doing her best so she can draw something good, so we thought we could wait for her in the meantime, but...
Rin: ... Mizuki, how is she?
Mizuki: Eh, you're asking me!? Err, let's see...
Mizuki: I sent her a message yesterday, but she didn't reply.
Kanade: ... I see...
Mafuyu: ... Perhaps she hasn't drawn something she's satisfied with, yet.
Mizuki: Mmm—if that was the only the case, then that's fine, but...
Mizuki: Truth is, before she went to attend art class, it seemed she'd been worrying about. That's why... I'm a bit concerned for her...
Kanade: Worrying...?
Mizuki: Yeah, I don't know if I should be saying this, but...
Mizuki: ... If Ena's worried and hurting, I think I want to help in some way, somehow.
Kanade: Mizuki. Could you tell me more about that?
Rin: I want to know too...!
Mizuki: Y-Yeah, I gotcha. Y'see...


Chapter 7 - I Don't Want To Run Away

Location: Ena's Room

Rin: (... I'm here.)
Rin: (I'm here in her room all of a sudden, so she might go all "Are you that worried about it?" and tease me about it, but...)
Rin: "Ah..."
Rin: "Ena?"
Ena: No... This is absolutely not...
Ena: I have to add more colors—no, this spot has to be darker...
Ena: ... Ah, god, the colors are so dull now... I have to redraw this...
Rin: (Ena... looks like she's hurting...)
Rin: (... What can I do...?)
Rin: (What is it can I do for Ena—)
Rin: ......♪—
Ena: —What...
Ena: Rin...?
Rin: (... That's good. Looks like she's cheered up a bit.)
Rin: "... Ena, are you okay?"
Ena: ......
Ena: I'm... not... okay, huh.
Ena: This all sure is coming to nothing. I draw, and I draw, and yet I can't—
Rin: "......"
Ena: Even though I have to get better, so I can catch up to everyone else, and so I can draw art fitting of 25ji...
Ena: It hurts...
Ena: I know I have to keep going. But, the pain get from facing my art—it's making my head hazy...
Ena: Ah... A message? From who...?
Mizuki's Message: "Enanan, if it's okay, could we talk for a bit?"
Rin: "... Mizuki, and everyone else, are worrying for you, Ena. They want to help you."
Ena: ... I see. Thank you, Rin.

Location: Desolate Sekai

Ena: ... Mizuki, sorry I'm la... te...
Ena: Kanade and Mafuyu are with you, too?
Kanade: Yeah, I mean, considering things...
Mizuki: You too, Rin's with you?
Rin: ... Stuff happened.
Ena: Wait, I mean, sorry everyone. I said I was going to draw the sketch, but I haven't proceeded at all...
Kanade: It's completely alright. We know you're giving it your hardest drawing, after all.
Kanade: Besides... I think this is bad, but we heard about your art class from Mizuki.
Ena: Ah...
Ena: ......
Kanade: I'm sorry, Ena, that you can't catch up to us—I didn't notice that you were worrying about it to that extent...
Ena: It's fine, it's not your fault, Kanade. It's because.. of me not being able to draw...
Ena: When I went there, I could really feel it. That I definitely skipped for that long.
Ena: Everyone else could draw what they wanted to express, with their own ability—
Ena: I couldn't even do the basics, and I've fallen behind my peers...
Ena: And in my head, I know that I desperately have to keep persisting because of that.
Ena: But still... My body just won't cooperate. Honestly, going to that place is really scary, and I can't stop trembling...
Ena: And I know that I won't be able to draw like them, and that I'll be critcized to death—most of all, I can't even forgive myself.
Ena: I think, "Why, oh why did I run away...?" always.
Rin: Ena...
Ena: But even above everything, I'd absolutely hate to be left behind by you guys. So... I want to keep drawing.
Ena: That's what I think, but...
Kanade: ......
Kanade: Ena... It's not necessarily that you ran away, maybe.
Ena: ... Eh?
Kanade: It is true that while drawing for us, you might've not been able to study things, or develop your technique.
Kanade: But you art has been getting better since the day I found it. You're clearly delivering the feeling that you want to express the image you got from our songs, no matter what.
Ena: ......
Mizuki: Y'see, for me, too, when I've been seeing your art lately, I just... I end up thinking, "yeah, I love your art," and "you have so many things you want to express," that stuff.
Ena: ... But, well, just "feelings" themselves won't do...
Ena: With how I am now—if I want to get better, I have to...
Mafuyu: ......
Mafuyu: I don't really know about getting better, but...
Mafuyu: In your old art, you just did whatever and used muddled colors, and your lines were all warped, and there were times I didn't know what you wanted to express.
Ena: Wha? I'm telling you, I did those because I was trying to do something with it...!
Ena: (... But, now that I think about it... There could've been a better way to express that one, too...)
Mafuyu: —Though, it's a bit different now.
Ena: Eh...?
Mafuyu: There are times where I can't see what you want to convey, but I can understand it a lot better now, compared to before.
Ena: ......
Kanade: —Ena.
Kanade: Sorry, I ended up just saying stuff... But I don't want you to think that these 2 years were for naught.
Kanade: Your illustrations helped me—25ji, out a lot.
Ena: ... Kanade...
Ena: (To me... these two years were—)
Ena: (I met 25ji, and I got in touch with art again, after having ran away from it.)
Ena: (And since then... I met everyone in the Sekai, I lost that competition, and I felt like I couldn't get back on my feet...)
Ena: (But—I ended up thining that, hey, I need to keep drawing art, for 25ji's sake.)
Ena: ......
Mizuki: Ena, look at this. It's a 25ji video!
Ena: Eh?
Mizuki: You know, Kanade made a toooon of songs at a crazy pace, so we have a ton of them now.
Kanade: Sorry. I kept thinking, "I have to make a song that could save someone," and before I knew it...
Mafuyu: Don't apologize. Even you have to keep on making songs for us too, so.
Kanade: ... That is true.
Ena: ... Ah, this takes me back.
Mizuki: Hey, I really like our slightly rough art from back then, too! It's pretty fitting for the edgy style of the song, ain't it!
Mizuki: Oh man, this one reaaaaally brings me back too. It's the one where we all had to think together 'cus you weren't able to make progress on it at all!
Ena: Didn't know what to do with the motifs here, so I redrew it so many times. That took so, so long...
Rin: ......
Rin: I like this drawing.
Ena: Eh? You mean... The one from our recently uploaded MV?
Rin: Yes. Your art from the past is nice, but I like your art now better. The murky colors really feel Ena-ish.
Ena: Is that a compliment?
Rin: It is.
Ena: Huh?
Rin: I don't really know anything about art, but—
Rin: If you really did run away, I don't think you would've drawn this much art, Ena.
Ena: Ah...
Ena: ... I'm...
Ena: (Is... that true?)
Ena: (I don't know—no. I, for sure, did run away 2 years ago. That... is the truth.)
Ena: (But...)
Ena: (... That I drew these pieces, that's also the truth.)
Ena: (Together, with everyone in 25ji—)
Ena: ......
Ena: ... Thank you, everyone.
Ena: I think—I'll keep at this for a bit longer.
Rin: ......!
Rin: —Yes. Do your best, Ena.


Chapter 8 - I, Who Draws On This Canvas

Time: The next day
Location: Miyamasuzaka

Ena: ... Hah.
Ena: Right. Let's go.

Location: Art Classroom

Futaba: Ah... Ena-chan! Are you feeling okay?
Ena: Futaba...
Ena: Yeah... Sorry for making you worry, yesterday. But I'm alright now.
Ena: Today's our last day, so... I have to finish with no regrets.
Futaba: ...! Yeah! Let's do our best with the free work.
Yukihira: Good morning, everyone. It seems like everyone is here already, so I will now tell you about the theme for today's free work.
Yukihira: You have 6 hours for both rough sketch and the full piece. The theme is—your "Self".
Ena: ...!!
Ena (Middle School): (... The "Self"?)
Ena (Middle School): (My... self, huh. What was that, again?)
Ena: (It's just like that time—the time, that I ran away from art.)
Yukihira: Alright then. Please begin.
Ena: (... Back then, I thought that the self where I was "The daughter of an artist, and is talented" was me.)
Ena: (But now... Now, that's different.)
Ena: (To me, my "self" is someone who can't help but meander all the time, and is seriously uncool, but—)
Ena: (But that now—is me. That's why...!)
Yukihira: ......
Yukihira: 5 minutes left, everyone.
Ena: (... I should start with the finishing touches.)
Ena: (The light source is... alright. The shadows are exactly how I envisioned them, too. Okay, then, I should continue drawing them until the time is up.)
Yukihira: It's time. Okay then, I'll go immediately into reviews.
Ena: (... Somehow, I was able to draw...)

[last updated 12:02AM 3/25/2022 PHT]

Edit Report
Pub: 24 Mar 2022 16:46 UTC
Edit: 24 Mar 2022 18:03 UTC
Views: 1091