You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it

Heh-heh, mule

The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea

Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it

All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield Monorail!
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!

Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?

Monorail!

What's it called?

Monorail!

That's right!
Monorail!

Monorail... monorail... monorail...

I hear those things are awfully loud...

It glides as softly as a cloud

Is there a chance the track could bend?

Not on your life, my Hindu friend

What about us brain-dead slobs?

You'll be given cushy jobs

Were you sent here by the devil?

No, good sir, I'm on the level

The ring came off my pudding can

Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

Monorail!

What's it called?

Monorail!

Once again...

Monorail!

But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...

Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!