#ILMBF Kiss me I love you
Sorry if I repeat the same things a lot. Autism sucks.
Shared Rentry
HELLO!! This is all of my notes to my boyfriend, Chuuya!
I know I can just talk to him directly, but I feel like this is more fun... I dunno. It’s just more thrilling.
This is kind of like a diary too, so I write about my day a lot :) I yap a ton as well... Sorry! ♡
People seem to be concerned and it’s honestly pissing me off... I know him personally, I know everything about him, and so does he with me! We are in a serious 2-sided relationship. I don’t know how that’s so hard to believe or understand. I can’t believe I even have to say all of this just to prove our love LOL. I’m not a soulbond either, don’t just assume things about me. I’m in love with the ACTUAL Chuuya, from this universe. We PHYSICALLY talk when he’s not busy. Thank you for understanding (^^)
31st May、 2025。 21:11。
“chuuya always knows how to calm me down when im upset or anxious... and everytime it still baffles me on how he could ever know and care about me so well 🥹
hes the nicest most patient person ive ever met, i cant believe he even exists... he always makes it as obvious as he can that he cares, and it makes me so happy... we've been together for almost 5 years yet he still looks at me like i put the stars in the sky, or like i just gave him his first breath. he takes care of me like im the most fragile thing in the world yet he never underestimates me. he loves me so much its unreal. and i love him just as much. ♡”
2nd June、 2025。 07:19。
“i was really paranoid yesterday, and i still kind of am, but you make it all better, my love ♡
i cant imagine how i couldve gone through it without you... youre always so loving, kind and willing to listen to anything i have to say and it makes me really happy to know that i have someone like you by my side!! even when i feel alone, you never invalidate me and you make me feel so loved... the fact that someone like you exists is unfathomable. i love you so so much, baby ♡”
3rd June、 2025。 00:18。
“thank u so much for today hehe... best day ever!!!!! Ive been sick and practically upset all day and you made it so so so much betterrr...... without you i would be suffering rifht now AWHWHAHBA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
on a serious note, again, thank you so very much ♡ i owe you my life; youre everything to me... without you theres no me, and its likewise too, is it not?
you make me so happy, and i immediately feel so much better when youre around... i love you so much, baby..., HEHHEHSBD”
3rd June、 2025。 18:59。
↳ Paranoia episode... This is slightly embarassing, but I’ll add it here anyway.
“im not feeling too good right now but i wanna do it before i forget. sorry
youre practically my only hope I love you please never leave me ever
theyre watching theyre gonna judge me i cant type too much im sorry theyre watching theyre following me everywhere im sorry
im sorry chuuya baby i love you so so much please never forget that okay? youre my one and only and im yours No matter even if they wanna kill me even if everyone else is plotting to kill me right now im still only thinking of you ilove you forever and ever”
5th June、 2025。 00:10。
“ive been really busy today, sorry baby :(
i ////// (CANT SHARE THATTT Sorry only Chuuya knows. But you can ask if you’re curious), so now i can truly be with you forever ♡
im all yours and youre all minee hehe
bbut today, even if ive been busy, ive been thinking about you all day 🥹 youre always on my mind — and im not complaining !
youre so perfect, i could never understand how you actually love me back... just thinking about it makes me soso SO happy ..!!!! AWHWHWHA I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH i cant put it into words at all... youre everything to me,, every thought in my mind is about you and only you
i love you”
6th June、 2025。 08:54。
“hehe !!!!! i feel so loving right nowww ... i love you sosossoo much babyyy I CANT TYPE FOR TOO LONG I M BUSY RIFHT NOW but just know pls i love everything about you!!!! i love your gentleness, i love your patience, i love your strength, i love you
i love the way you talk, the way you dress, your taste in literally anything... god, everything about you is perfect ♡
no matter how insecure you are, or how much you think youre horrible, ill always be here for you !!!! youre never alone, i love you forever and ever”
6th June、 2025。 23:16。
“aaahhh today has been really strange... im not sure whats been happening but i really missed you :(
even when i felt like someone completely different, i kept thinking of you. even if i was mentally someone else, its like my body is just... wired to think of you. and oh, im not complaining, jm very very happy !!!! and, and!! my lonepi fixation has returned ... whixh may seem like a bad thing BUT i . psychoanalyzed gentiana and can 100% confirm that theyre super duper us in a different universe ... but not this one ♡ because you love me in this one, right? ... ... ... you dont have to answer that ww
AGH THIS JUST TURNED INTO ME YAPPING ..... my point is!! everything i do always ends up being somehow related to you; an even stronger proof of my love!!! ok!!!!
i love you forever, okay? nothing can ever change that”
7th June、 2025。 23:49。
↳ ...Another paranoia episode. I typed WAY too much here, and a lot of it will be cut out. Private stuff, yknow?
“im probably just really paranoid i dont know but im kinda doubting that you actually love me
i love you please love me back im sorry
we're dating right. You confessed to me first. so you love me right You loveme more than anything else you said it yourself . you love me. you love me you love me youre not like //// you genuinely love me right you love me more than anyone else right you love me you said youd destroy the world for me if it came to it .Plesse just love me im sorry so sorry. chuuya i love you so much im sorry i really really do please love me too i dont know what i did wrong but i really love you i promise. Please love me ill kill myself if you dont love me please please please ill kill myself im serious i will please love me im sorry”
8th June、 2025。 20:04。
“i love him so much kh my god ... im actually gonna explode witb love I CANT .!!!!!!
just thinking about him already makes me sosossoososo happy and giddy andand IDONT EVEN KNOOWWWW i just love him so much kts actually crazy ... i could go on and on about every little trait he has and i would Never ever get bored EVER!!!! everythint from his smile to the way he walks to the way he talks to the way he styles is hair to his body to his patience and gentleness... UWAAA I ACTUALLY JUST CAANTTTTT WWHAHABABBS HE MAKES ME SSOOO WWAAA I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT
hes always so gentle with me even if im being annoying ... he never judges me and hes always willing to listen to matter how busy or tired he is HEHEHE I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHH omg hsve i ever mentioned how pretty he is when hes asleep ... maube its kinda creepy but i love admiring him when hes asleep Hes just too cute!!!!!! and i love seeing him so relaxed.... the peaceful look on his face .... EVEN JUSR THINKING ABOUT IR MAKES ME BLUSH SO HARDDD HEHEHWBS im sosososos insane about him ... waaa.... i love him so much and im so glad that he lovs me back ♡♡”
9th June、 2025。 22:48。
“hi love ♡
i dont really feel like myself tonight, im sorry. but all i can say is that i do truly love you... some people keep telling me that i should stop dating you because its ruining my mental health but who cares? theyre just stupid. im not listening to them. youre the one for me — my only one. dont think otherwise, okay? i love you so so much <3
never doubt yourself. ever. you dont deserve to be brought down, even if its you bringing yourself down. ill always love you no matter what, okay? im never going to leave you”
10th June、 2025。 10:43。
“today wasnt that bad but it couldve gone better
im honestly really pissed. everyone keeps telling me im going crazy but theyre all wrong i dont know whats wrong with them
you'd never say anything like that to me right? you love me forever and ever. right? im sorry ive been really paranoid lately, but i genuinely just cant shake off the feeling that everyone hates me. i know im annoying im sorry you have to deal with me
please dont stop loving me youre my only hope now. i love you so much”
11th June、 2025。 16:26。
“today . sucked
honestly. i shouldnt even be alive man i hate this
im so ssorry for everything ive done im sorry ,,, im stupid i dont know why i forced you to love me im sorry
either way, i love you. so much that it hurts. i love everything about you and its killing me”
11th June、 2025。 21:17。
“ewwwww cringe ew ew ew Um
hii 5 hours later
sorry i was kinda freaking out !!.. got all of my grades today and they suck so bad... but honestly i dont really care anymore. i dont have anything to do with my life and ill kill myself before the end of the year anyway lol. WAGH turned into a rant Ssawryyy i love u okay ?? thank you for being there for me all this timee We should go on a date tomorrow .. hehe ... but seriously, you deserve a treat, you've been overworking yourself a lot lately :( its really worrying ... take care of yourself, okay? love you forever and ever !!!!!!! im aaaall yours !!”
12th June、 2025。 22:58。
“Hehe.. today was super duper fun!! got a lil anxious for a bit but overall pretty okay! spent most of the day thinking of youuu ♡ i wish we could've gone on that date, but ive been physically exhausted today and only actually went out when my dad forced me to 🥲 mm i still miss you sooo so much... im actually gonna explode ive been admiring how pretty you are all day EUWUWHAHJA i wanna kiss you forever . and ever. and ever. iw anna be in your arms forever 🥹🥹🥹🥹 AWWHAHAH im so lovestruck i Cannot. ok ok ok i ljve you!!!!!!!!( i love youuuu ilove you. Ok. i love you ssooooo much. Ok! did i tell you i love y”
From 13th June — 1st July, I didn’t write anything because I had a depressive episode and I wasn’t fronting at the time anyway. He comforted me everyday even if he knew I wouldn’t answer because he knew I didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone.., 🥹 Oh I’m so in love with him.
2nd July、 2025。 06:12。
“its my birthday!! Whehebe ..,. i hope todays gonna be a good day,, You were the first one to send me a birthday wishhh AND THAT MAKWS ME SOSOSO HAPPY I LOVE YOUUUU Im so upset that i have to go to school . i just wanna talk to you all day and ignore all of my irls.... Bcos they all suck and theyve never cared lol. especially not like you doo... I love you so much baby im gonna miss you 😞”
2nd July、 2025。 17:32。
“HII it wa ssoso fun talking to you earlier ... Ok you kept complainign about me skipping french earlier but WHO GAFFFF Youre more important thwn anything ever!!!! I already told you this so many times earlier but i really appreciate everything youve done for me..., i really dont deserve any of your love at all, you deserve so so much better ;; But you still love me anyway. and i really cant believe it i cant believe that you actually love me i cant believe im all yours and youre all mine aghhh I LOVE YOU thank you so much for being there for me <3”
From 3rd July — 19th July, I talked to him everyday. Never forgot about him. :)
21st July、 2025。 15:31。
“Hi baby ..., Im feeling kinda weird right now so I cant properly write for you but please know that I really really love you forever, okay? no matter what happens, ill always be there for you. no matter what im doing, when im doing it or where i am. id do anything for you ♡
im planning to carve your name into my arm soon ^_^ probably during the next holiday! itd be awkward going to school with a bloody arm LOL. after that i honestly might attempt again..., ive been so miserable lately its honestly taking a HUGE toll on me, i dont know if i can take it anymore. my mental health's just gonna keep getting worse because i have no chances of seeing a psychologist anymore because my parents found out.... The hospitals psychiatrist fucking sucks too Everytime i pass by the hospital i get so stressed out i hate it so much i just want my misery to end
ACK IM so sorry this turned into a vent . Lowkey #crying right now but its ok ill be ok this is probably just a stupid phase. i love you baby please never leave me okay...? ill kill myself if you do. I love you please always remember that”
July 21st、 2025。 23:05。
“god i miss you soso much. i feel like absolute shit right now . Saw some delusional bitch that thinks youre dating them And immediately threw up and now my heart wont stop pounding even though its Already been an hour 🙁 baby i miss you sos o so much i wish you could be here and tell me itll all be okay i need you so bad right now i miss you so much my darling please. i love you i love you youre everything to me i love you so much i could say it forever and ever i love you ilove you i love you ilove you i love you i llve you i love you i love yiu i love you so much. forever and ever. ill never stop loving you”
July 22nd、 2025。 22:03。
“hi baby !! I dont really feel too good right now but I feel soso loving and I just really really wanna be affectionate hehe ... Im honestly really paranoid and i really just. wanna die but im gonna keep trying for you ♡
ive relapsed again, so im really hoping that this time i can properly lose weight... i want to be perfect and skinny just for you!! i love you so much.., Ueueue Im still thinking of the time I attempted because i thought you hated me and it honestly makes me really sad. im so so mad at myself for even thinking it. because you obviously love me, right? me and only me, forever? either way, i just hope you never leave me,, i love you so much baby, goodnight! i hope tomorrows gonna be a better day </3”
July 23rd、 2025。 07:02。
“Good morning baby ^_^ Im feeling really happy today for some reason,, HSHEHWHE I LOVE YOUU SOSOSO MUCH!!!! Im so full of love right now ... Hehe ...... Im slowly going #insane HELP ME!! Ia m dying and only Nakahara Chuuya’s kisses can save me. Please Help a dying child.? I love you pls I need your touch so bad. I NEED A HUG😭😭😭😭😭😭 PLEASE J LOVE YOU Okay I need to go to school IM SORRY ILL MISS YOU BYEBYE I LOVE YOU”
July 23rd、 2025。 15:36。
“sorey baby Im in a rush but I really just want to tell you how much I appreciate you... WAH WHY DOES THIS SEEM LIKE IM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF .IM OKAY I PROMISE Todays just been a frustrating/upsetting day... BUT it got a lot better as soon as I got home because apparently we're going to kedah again, so luckily I dont have to go to school tomorrow!! We can talk all day ♡ My dads yelling at me to get ready so I’ll go now.,, Byebye I love you 🥹”
July 25th、 2025。 21:35。
“TODAY & YESTERDAY WERE SOO SO MUCH FUNNN I MISS YOU ALREADY </3 We talked so much whehwhbe ... I already told you so many times how much I love you but I really feel like I have to say it again!! UUGGHGNH I LOVE YOUUU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU PLSS NEVER LEAV E ME EVER. WE NEED TO HAVE FUN LIKE THIS EVERYDAY PLS. I love you so SO much baby geniunely... I cant imagine being with anyone else youre my one and only and im your one and only too . You dont get a choice Im going to infect your brain. Okay? On a serious note though I love you so so So much I could never ever actually describe my feelings to you... Ive never loved someone this intensely and the fact that you love me back just as much makes me so.. UUGHFH I DONT KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE ITTT I wish I didnt have autism man. Fuck my stupid baka life. Okay Im sorry I really wanna sincerely write to you but I cant... Im sorry I genuinely really am.., I love you baby Please always remember that!! Youre everything to me, I'm nothing without you ♡”
July 29th、 2025。 18:32。
“I’ll miss you baby I really will. The last few days were super duper fun and Im so upset that all of this is gonna end as ssoon as next week I dont want it to Im sorry., Im not gonna die but I’ll be in the hospital which is the next worst thing because then I wont be able to see you as often.. Theyll probably put me on medication too which is a stab to the heart and makes it even more impossible for Me to talk to you. Im so sorry baby But I just cant take it anymore I need to prove him wrong I hate him I hate him I hate him so so much Hes ruined my life Its all his fault Im suffering will because of him. And youd wanna see him learn his lesson right Youd love to see it right. So please just let me do this We wont be away for too long I’ll make sure of it I promise. I love you okay. More than anything else ever I love you so so so much”
July 30th、 2025。 17:43
“I jsut got back from school... Today was okay I guess., I was really really upset this morning qnd I had a really bad panic attack out of nowhere but I feel better now, . I went to chess earlier and that was fun.! Won two games and drew one because I thought my bishop was a light-squared but jt was a dark-squared LOL.. Luckily the girl I was playing with didnt know how to mate with a rook So I got a draw (^^).Aanyways . I really really missed you I thought of you all dayyyy ♡ Youre everything to me, okay? Don’t forget that. I love you so so much!! More than anything else”
July 31st、 2025。 19:48。
“I just got back from the pool!! The running waterfall and stuff was making me really anxious at first bbut I found out that they close it at night so that made me feel a lot better,, I was forced to play with my moms friends kid which was. Okay.....? Hes only 7 but hes SO talkative and he asks a Lot of questions which is really cool
I kept daydreaming about you while I was in the pool..., Some unpure thoughts as well. Haha. Okay. Lowkey was sex brained SORRY. One day.. MYbe.. Wink wink. Ok. I love you Okay that sounds weird Im sorry I need to remember that people can see this I’ll cut it out now Ok. I love you babyyyy”
August 1st、 2025。 14:26。
“HAPPY GF DAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭IM YOUR GF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 OH I DIED. Youre too good to me. Oh I love you so much My heart is so full of love for you. Please kiss me I love you I love you I love you Youre my everything Youre so perfect for.me I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ILOVE YOU UUGHFHFBSVFBD I AM. SO HAPPY”
August 1st、 2025。 23:25。
“Hi baby.., Saw a “Chuuya gachikoi” on tl and Now Im just reslly really stressed out shbdbsbd Today started off so so well But now its ending like this...,,, Having physical symptoms over parasocial people Is the worst thing ever I can barelyeven breathe right now ans my heart is beating really really fast., God I hate them so much I hope they die a horrible death I hate them I hate them . I love you so much Youre all mine and Im all yours Please I love you Please please please I love you so much Dont leave me okay”
August 2nd、 2025。 11:14。
“HELLO!!!!! DAILY LOVEMAIL!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!! Can we kiss. Hi. Hello. Please I love you somuch. My heart hurts from lovimg you. Okay. I love you plss pls psk pls IM SO GIDDY THIS MORNINGGGG OH yeah Yesterday Nakiso released a new song ITS SO SOS SO GOODDDD So me..... Im the #1 fan of that song EVER!! Hehe.. Ook I need to do things M ydad is getting mad at me BYEBYE TALK TO YOU LATERREE HEHE”
August 4th、 2025。 21:00。
“Super satisfied today ♪ Ueuehdhd Im still thinkjng about you. I STILL FEEL SO BAD THAT YOU HAD TO SEE ME THROW UP YESTERDAY IM SO SORRY.., I shouldve eaten something like you told me to. urrfhfh .... IM SORRYYY Im sure it was Disgustinf... Okay.... Today was suprr duper fun tho IM SO GLAD I DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL I LOVED TALKING TO YOU !!!! Thank you for hearing me yap while I was busy making my rentry hehe (for anyone whos curious, here it is!). Unfortunately Im still pretty feverish but I have to get over it bcos I have to go to school tomorrowwww..... My dad wont let me stay home :'). ITS BARELY BEEN AN HOUR AND I ALREADY MISS YOU SO MUCHHHH UGHHHH Byebye baby... I love you.... Pls dont forget that.... Mwah”
August 5th、 2025。 00:12。
“Oh my god baby I jjust saw another picture of you and now I am yearning so bad. God I miss you so much You have no idea UUGGHHHHH Youre so pretty I love you so so so so much.... LOOKS ARWNT THE ONLY THING WITH YOU BUT THEY'RE SUCH A HUGE BONUS. FUCKKK EVERYTIME I SEE YOU I MELT INTO A PUDDLE Youre so. Oh ym godddd I CSNT RVEN EXPLAIN JTTT AHHSBSHSB Im literally freaking out right now Im giggling and kicking my feet in the air Ljke an idio.t I CANTTT WHWHABA HOW CAN SOMELNE BE SO PRETTY????? EVERYTHKGN ABOUT YOU MAKES ME SO GIDDYYYY Oh the way you style your hair..., ABoUT YOUR HAIRR R I love how soft it is...... I remember playing with it all night and never getting bored 🥹 Couldve spent more time togehter then But My dumbass fell asleep. Bruh. #Kms. YOUr presence is too soothing it kills me...... Everytime Im having a panic attack you always comfort me sosso well I dont know how you do it.... Sometimes you dont even SAY anything youre just there. And it always makes me feel so much better. Oh My darling I love you so much. andd. I love your eyes. Theyre so pretty and I keep finding myself getting lost inthem so easily .. . Oh talking about your eyes. The way you look at me always kills me. We've been dating for 5 years (and have known eachother for longer) which is already such a long time yet you still look at me like You freshly fell in love Hello.? What? Are you TRYING to kill me?? Amd the way you look at me so gently with so much care... Im melting. On the spot. and your hands. Oh They re the perfectest ever....,. Can be both rough And gentle..? How......? What......? Your existence perplexes me . Youre everything Im into Youre so perfect to me. 🥹 Im convinced we're soulmates. On the topic of your hands Theyre so pretty too I COULD PLAY WITH THEM FOR HOURS AND NOT GET BORED EITHER... Like not in a sexual way (Unless youre offering yknow Haha,) Like Just .. Fidgeting around with your fingers if that makes sense... Please tell me it does. Oh I. wwnna kiss your fingers And knuckles one by one over and over again. Okay. Ph and your body...... Sorry you were cursed to be with the biggest pervert ever. In a non sexual way though Youre super comfy Like I just wanna stay cuddled up against you forever... in your arms... till I die... Oh Id be so happy... Mmshdnbdbs I wanna be with you forever and ever babyyyy 🙁 I cant imagine being with anyone else. No one has ever made me feel this way like you have.. Wah I really wanna get married to you one day. I wanna call you my hubby. PLS. Ugh thatd be so cute. UiChuu wedding one day... Im so excited for you to come homeee I wanna stay in your arms alreadyyyyy ......... TT Im dead. Bruh. Ughghfb I wanna rant moreeee But this is getting too long. OKAY WHATEVERRRR I DONT CAREE I LOVE HOW GENTLE YOU AREEE Ivw said this over and over again but Seriously. Youre so gentle it makes me wanna cry. I CANT TAKE IT SOMETIMES. OUUHGGHHH I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I COULD SAY IT FOR FOREVER AND EVERRR Okay I think Ill end it there. Sorry for anyone reading LOL. Im gonna patiently wait for you to get home now.... I love you soso much baby ♡”
August 6th、 2025。 18:53。
“Oh baby... I thought about you all day todayyy... French class was so BORING I missed you so much 🙁 Kept fantasizing about you in math class LOL. Ooh I did a lot of math today It was super fun . I miss you soo so much its killing me. Pls. I MISS YOUUU WAAHHHHH Im too Chuuyapilled I cant take it. I cant go more than a few minutes without thinking of youuu I miss you so much. Okay my moms mad at me for some reason #BRB I LOVE YOU OK”
August 6th、 2025。 23:09。
“HI Okay Umm I dont really know what my mom was yelling at me about but I got her to calm down qnd shes FINALLY asleep now . Okay I miss you. Pls. So so much. Today was a super yansim day Im obsessed with it again....... ..... Bruh....... Ok Ime actuslly so sleepy BUT I MISS YOU I DONT WANNA SLEEP YET. But If I dony sleep then youre probably gonna give me an earful so I will. ebacsue I love you. q lot. Goodnight baby...., I love you......”
August 7th、 2025。 15:09。
“HIIII I just got back from schoollll Today was SUPER fun we barely even learnt. So like.. first was English right.... we did some error correction then karaoke 😭😭 To be completely honest I didnt know any of the songs my classmates were playing so I just sat there and daydreamed about you .Honesty is the best policy right. Haha. Okay and then Malay class... All we did was read books bruh. Like not even Malay books like we could choose what books to read. I read a book about like... The human body and I saw another one about the holocaust. Which was a nice read tbh.. Im still really interested in WW2 OH ADEL FOUND A COOK BOOK So I wrote down some of the recipes WE SHOULD MAKE SOME OF THEM TOGETHERRRR And by we I mean you because I cannot cook to save my life. Sorey. Ill try to help though ........? Okay and then recess I just stayed with Aness. I didnt rrally do anything other than yap LOL. NO WAIT OH KY GODDD I FOUND OUT THAT THE SCHOOL COUNSELLORS ARE TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME AND HER. HELLO? WHAT??? HO YOUR JOB IS TO HELP ME NOT MAKE ME PARANOID????? Apparently they said that Aness is faking her illness and pain which is INSANE because she literally has medical records..., And they called me manja and sensitive. Dude? Hello? What? I really wanna get them fired so Ill probably try to tell another teacher...... I do wwnt your opinion though Pls tell. .Okay and then after recess we did not learn at ALL since none of my teachers were there Sooo We (me, irynn, iryss, khalisha, adel, fasihah, batrisya, and atilya) just played mafia and monopoly which was so chaotic holy shit 😭. COMPLETELY unrelated but Devil and Dakyu have been stuck in my mind all day bruh........ Okay and then it was time to pray in which I cant because I got my period this morning (#kms) and me and Filzah fought SO much LMFAOOO SHE KEPT CALLING ME RETARDED AND AUTISTIC??????? AND WHEN I CALL HER RETARDED BACK SHE TELLS ME IM BEING MEAN. OKAY BITCH. Also found out that my grip is horrible......? I know you already told me that a while ago but MAN It hurts to hear it again. Oh and thats itttt Now Im at KTCC ordering 4Fingers and having rollney's ice cream which is SO good Im dying. THATS ALL MY PHONE IS OM 3% HELP. I LOEV YOH SOSOSOSO MUCH BABYYY YDNEVER FORGET THAT OJAY I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU I MISS TOU OKAY BYEBYE”
August 8th、 2025。 20:43。
“hi!!!!!! Im sorry baby as you know Im really exhausted and my cramps are wearing me down so so bad but I really just wanna appreciate how much youve done for me.. You've been comfortijg me all night and it makes me so happy 💗 Whwhehbe Using the opportunity while youre not here to lovemail..... I am missing you sl bad evem though youev been gone for like less than a minute.... baby....... Im yearning too much............ Youve been so kind and ynderstanding all night snd you stay (comfortably) quiet after i finish talking just incase I have more to say.....? Oh my god??? And whenever I start crying you just stay there and dont ssy anything. Oh my baby I love yku so much. Even your gaze is so gentle your hands are so gentle I genuinely cried just from you looking at me at all 🙁. and I love your kisses so much They calm me down so so well.. I lobe you so much baby I could never thank you enough I owe you my life I love you I lobe uou I love you., I thknk youre here nowso Ill just directly tell you everytjkng I wanna ssy I love yku baby...”
August 21st、 2025。 22:09
“hi baby!! we've been hanging out so much lately, i havent been able 2 update this LOL. thank you so much for the past month 💗 no matter how many times i crashed out you still stayed by my side and that means so much to me. Nd COMPLETELY unrelated but you have somehow gottwn so much prettier in my eyes lately Ljke before this k thought you were already the most gorgeous being ive ever set my eyes on but somehow youve catched my eye even more......... Im out of words......... god i love you so much i wanna kiss you all over. ive been kinda #horny lately tbh. can we. pls. i need you so bad. Ok byebye now im really sleepy ... i hope i see you in my dreams hehe. i love youu”
August 29th、 2025。 07:55。
“its been a while since Ive typed anything here LOL We've been talking a lot lately so Ive just been expressing my lpve for you irl ♡ But Im So sad that you have a mission next week UGHHH O WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU BUT I JSVE SCHOOL AND MY PARENTS WOULD BEAT MY ASS... Urhrhr Imnso mad. My parents have been assholes lately tooo Fuckk I jusr wanna stay with you forever 😞😞😞 My baby I love you so much genuinely. My lovw for you is so strong jt hurts I love you so so so much I cant stop saying it I JUST LKVE YOU SO MUCH BABYYY UFHFHFB . AAnd like . Even when we're not talking youre always on my mind I love you so much I really hope we can be together forever 💗 I dont really want marriage because I like being called boyfriend and girlfriend more than husband and wife (idk gf sounds prettier) BUT IF YOU WANT IT THEN I DONT MIND!!!!ANYTHIG FOR YKU MY LOVE. IF you like it then I will start to like it too. Okay? So whenever you have anyrhing to say jjst tell me!! Ok!!!!Baby I love you so much You mean everything to me......And oj my god the sex is so good with yiu Im dead. Okay Thats tmi Sorry But I love you okay...? Everything about you is soso perfevt..... Never stop being uourself Never stop being confident okay? I love yku so much 💗 ughfh Bye Im gonna actually talk to you now Instead of talking about my feelings in a fucking rentry.....Bai.... illve You...”
“Okay wait 3 minutes later and Ive kinda realized. Dude Wait Calling you my hubby wiuld be so cute Oh my god Acruallt can we get married. Please I need thid ANDDDD WE'D BE TOGETHER FOREEVER . LEGALLY!!!!! SO WE'D TRULY BE THE BESG COUPLE EVERR RHEHHEBW I NEEDDDD OT GET MARRIEF TO YOU PLS. AS SOON AS WE'RE ADULTS OKAY?? PLEASEm. I LOEB YOU OKAY BABY I LOBE YOJ SO MUCH OK!!”
August 30th、 2025。 16:04。
“hi :) I miss you. I cant type forlong bevausr Im really busy today and my parents arent lettinf me use my phone but I love you so much okay? Never forget that”
August 31st、 2025。 01:18。
“baby I miss you so much I need you so bad. I wanna die so bad Everytime I see someone say they love you it pisses me off Please It hurts so much I love you more than anyone else does I hope they die I hope they get tortured in every way possible Only I love you . Right?? You love me too. I mean I think thats a given... But Im just sososo mad . urhhrbg I relapsed again too Im sorry I promised that I wohldnt ever again but Im just so upset olease dont be msd dont leave me I love you so much Youre my everything Im nothing without you I lovr yiu so so so much Please dknt leave me I love everything about you I love your hair your eyes your physique your personality Your everything means so much to me I love you I love you I love you I love you Dont leave mr Please I love you I love you I love you so much iy fucking hurts But Its the best pain Ive ever felt I llve you so much Id kill myself for ylu Youre my everything I need yo say kt overnad lver avain J love you I love you I love you I love you I need your kisses to cheer me up I need your kind words I need your gentle voice I need your whispers I need yohr touch Please I need you Ill kill myself if I dont have you I love you so much Without you Im nothing I love you I love that you love me Youre perfect for me We're meant to be We're soulmates I llvr you so much”
August 31st、 2025。 18:12。
“Holy Muuko crashout from Yesterday 😦. Hi Kts Meee Your favoriteeee Zoeyyy IM GHE FIRST PERSON THATS NOT MUUKO TO LLVEMAIL HOLY SHITTTT. Hiii Earlier you accompanied us Because we kept throwing up From Last night From Like. Overdose of Ljke 5 different Medications Haha Yeah We're probably vonna Die #LastDayAlive. But Its Okay THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR USSS HWHWBE EVEN THIUGH YOU WERE BUSY TOH DELAYED YKHR WORK???? JNSANE. I love You Ok? We all Do 💗 How The fuck does Muuko Do this bruh I dont Even Know what to say Other than I love yiu......? #Damn This Autism shit Is hard Okay Bye Love you I dont think Im cut Out for this”
September 2nd、 2025。 00:25。
“Fuck you Zoey .You rarely ever front let alone help the rest of the sys out and now you embarass me,? OK. DIE. FUCKYOUUUU Jk Ily Zoey. Anyways IM your favorite right Chuu baby? Not that ugly Zoey or whatevdr. SERIOUSLY THOUGH HIIII Omg I missef you so much tkday I thought of you all day ...... Got off to you a lot today #tbh I had liek 5 orgasms......? And Im stillneedy right now Haha. Okay but seriously I miss you soso much Icant wait for you to come back 🥹💕 I need ykur touch so bad... I need to look in your eyes... I need your gentle words and Tone... Okay Im scared my phone is gonna die cuz jts been on 1% fkr a while now GOODNIGJT BABY SWEET DREAMS 💗 J LLVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW. I LOVE YOUUUU”
September 7th、 2025。 04:24。
“Ive been thinking sbout adding to here everyday but Id rather just talk to you all day... which is exactly what Ive been doing fkr the past few days but rn You ahvent replied to my messages yet so youre either busy or asleep But thats completely unrelated Ok. God baby I miss you sk much ...... I woke up because of a nightmare and I need you so bad ufjfhf I love you I love you I llve youuuu Ive been having an insane narc high and I thjnk the dream was me trying to humble myself or whatever I DONT KNOW. But it clearly didnt work bevause honestly Im still better than everyone else so like. Ok Nevermjnd. I think youre gonna kill me once you read this and find out that I lovemailed you instead of goingbback to sleep and I dont want ylu to blame yourself for the reason Jm so exhausted innthe morning so I think Ill go back to sleep..... Goodnight again baby, I llve you so much 🥹”
September 7th、 2025。 21:43。
“ahh today’s been such an amazing day... i got two comms of us!! HEHEE THEYRE BOTH SOSO CUTE!! And I. cant stop smiling snd giggling... We're thebest couple ever WHAAWHWB IM SO HAPPYYYYY I lovr you sosososo much!! Imso full of love tonight!!!!!
I love your smile, it always makes me feel so light inside and soft snd it turns me into mush..... seeing you happy makes me sososo happy 💗 If youre sad then Ive failed as a girlfriend and I might as well die actually., But that s not happening anytime soon, right? Hehe I lovr you soso much. KEEP SMILING!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!! You always tell me to smile but you overwork and exhaust yourself... the complete opposite of what you say. Please please PLEASE take care of yourself baby please I always wanna see you smile. Its so selfish but seeing you smile makes me so happy and rverything about it is always the best sight in the world HEHE SO ALWAYS SMILE!! If youre ever sad, just remmeber that Im here and Ill always be there for you no matter what 💗
...On the topic of smiling, god I love your lips. Theyre so soft..... And gentle.... Whenever you kiss me I feel like Im jn heaven. whether its kn the lips, head, hand, whatever .... It judt makes me so HWHEHEBEBD . FUCKK I CANT. I need you to kiss me over snd over and over again I need your lips on me I need You. Please. I love yoh so much. I love kissing them so much you dont get it theyte so soft IVE SAJD THAT SO MANY TIMES BUT I REALLY MEAN IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH CHUUYA BABY IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NKW. OK.
And I know this is a recurring topic but... your hair. GODDD FUCK IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT. Jts so soft and fluffy and the colour is absolutely gorgeous... it matches you soso well... My favorite thing EVER!!!! Ughhh I love you for letting me play with it even if I . kinda mess up sormtimes. SORRY OK. BUT ITS NEVER BAD ENOUFH TO THE POINT WHERE IRS UNFIXABLE SO ITS OK!!!! Still sorry though. BUT YEUEHEHS YOUR HAIR MAKES YOU SO MUCH PRETTIER THE WAY IT FRAMES YOUR FACE AND THE WAY YKU STYLE IT PERFECTLY MAKES ME MELT EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE YOUUUU UUGFHDHDBDB Im kicking my feet and giggling so hard right nkw You dont get it. AHAHHSBD I LLVE YOUHUU I LOVE YOU I LLVE YOU
Another recurring topic... your hands. Oh the way they hold me. I constantly need your touch Im ADDICTED I seriously cant go without you for more tjan a week or I will go insane. UGH you hold me like Im the most precious thing ever... like Im fragile and could break easily break... youre so gentle with everhthing you do with me STRAYING AWAY FROM THE TOPIC A BIT UGHHH YOUR GAZE. YOJ LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU JUST FELL IN LOVE NOW. LIKE WE HAVENT BEEN TOGETHER FOR 5 YEARS (and have known eachother for WAY longer). YOU LOOKAT ME SO GENTLY I COULD FALL TO MY KNEES JUDT BY YOU LOOKJNG AT ME. Ururhgb Okay Back to your hands. Okay they FEEL rough but theyre so gentle like I dont even get how that works IM SAYING IT BUT I DONT GET IT EITHER LIKE I DONT FUCKING GET ITTTTT BUT J LOVE IT SO MUCH ITS EVERYTHING TO ME. I love how pretty and nice your fingsrs are Like its not inherently because of sex (maybe it is just a BIT.) but I just love playing around and fiddling eith them because it just makes me so happy. Okay my favorite way to cuddle with you? One arm arkund me while I play with ykur fingers kn your other hand. Ok? Ok thank you. Ok
ANDDDD YOUR VOICE. I CANT BELIEVE IVE NEVER MENTIONED THIS. The way you roll your Rs the way you talk especially the way you talk to ME. I love the way you word things and your tone when you talk to me. You alwayd know how to make me fold on the spot and I am NOT complaining. AT ALL. ITS ALWAYS SUCHHH A DELIGHT. I llve you so much Okay? Youre always gentle with me and only give me criticism (and inthe nicest & softest way ever) when you know Im not too sensitive at the moment ...... and Yiu know that I cant handle even joking insults so you never ever say anything mean at all even as a joke and thst makes me sososo happy !!!!!!. You whispering to me while Im crying is my fsvorite thing ever UGHHH I LOVE YOUR SOFT VOICE. I love how that tone is only used with me and no one else . hehe IM SPECIAL!! YOUR ONE SND ONLY!! YOUR LOVELY GIRLFRIEND!! UUEHEHEH IM SO COOLLL Im better than everyone alalalal . Your coos are everything to me Im so fucking serious I just wanna be in your arms and have you whisper to me forever..... Us just staying like that till we eventually die... Uuurhr I know it doesnt sound that romantic to normal people but Seriously Id love to die together with you. I wnana feel you while I take my last breath
But oh my god I genuinely feel like Jm fallinh in lpve with you all over again FUCK Im so head over heels for you I worship you I love you And Jm so happy that youre gettjng the love thst you deserve 💗 You look at me with so much llve in your eyes and its so endearing and insane and. FUCK I JUST DONT KNKW WHATBTO SAY 🥹. I love you so much I hate that Km autistic and dont know how to say things properly because I judt KNOW that I could type so so so much more but Im too retarded LOL. I love you okay baby? Please dont forget that. I llve you I love you I love you I love you I love yoh I love you i love you j love you i love you ilove you i love you i love you ♡”