My Situation, Apology
This is a long document. Please take the time to read it carefully. This document was begun in June 25 and has been updated as different documents were being released. The person being discussed here '404' is a pseudonym for the person who reported me. I have tried my best to anonymize their identity.
Due to time zone differences, days might be off by 1. So June 11/12 or June 24/25 are the same dates unless otherwise specified.
DO NOT HARASS ANYONE. WARNING: Discretion is advised if you are sensitive to the upcoming topics: Suicide
- What happened
- 404 and Me
- Apology
- Conclusion
What happened
- On June 11 2022 I was informed by Moose (Owner of Puzzle Kingdom) that I was banned participating in Sakura Blend. I was told this was because of an anonymous report someone made to the Tetris Misconduct Helpline (TMH, which is made up of these community members) who "recommended" I be banned from the event (this was in fact 1 member, Renge).
- On June 11 I was not given details by Moose as to why I was banned. I had to contact all TMH members and was informed by Xynix that my ban was because of a report from 404. I had a conversation with Xynix and Jovilly in voice chat. I recorded this conversation
- On June 24 I was banned from Tetralympic and Tetrio Journey by Bennxt for what at the time were "unspecified reasons"
- On June 24 I did a public stream on YouTube showing a recording of the voice chat I had with TMH on June 11. In this recording I showed my conversations with 404 (revealing their identity as the reporter publicly) as well as Bennxt, and a group chat created by Xynix that included the TMH members, Edge and Moose
- On June 25 a tweet was made by Moose on the PK Twitter account letting everyone know of my ban and potential reasons. This ban was also followed by several other organizations banning me as well
- On July 1 a document was released by TMH about the situation
- On July 7 a document was released by Modern Mino Community (MMC) about the situation. The leader of MMC is Bennxt.
I have written this document for the purpose of explaining what happened, addressing this situation with all relevant parties, as well as an apology. All DMs, docs, pictures, and everything I have on this situation is made available for everyone to see.
Sources:
HTML Please click here to read the full DM conversations between me and 404. (DMs are slightly indented at the end due to me deleting a div during scrubbing)
HTML Please click here to see the full conversation between me and Moose (His discord tag is 'Puzzle Kingdom' in the DMs)
HTML Please click here to see the full conversation between me and Xynix (TMH)
LInks Please click here to listen to the conversation I had with TMH (Xynix, Jovilly) on June 11 2022 (This is also the stream where I showed 404's identity - this has been blurred)
HTML Please click here to see the Group Chat created on June 22 2022 between me, TMH, Edge and Moose.
PDF Please click here to see the PK Document (Moose)
PDF Please click here to see the TMH Document (Renge)
PDF Please click here to see the MMC Document (Bennxt)
404 and Me
HTML Please click here to read the full DM conversations between me and 404.
PDFPlease click here to read the TMH document. This is the only source available I have to talk about 404's POV and this section is primarily to answer everything mentioned in this document.
My DMs with 404 contained 15,000+ messages. It is nearly impossible for me to talk about every single message. I have provided all the DMS so please read them yourself. I will be organizing this section in the order in which it appears in the TMH as well as providing some other conversations that I think are worth discussing.
Themes of suicide are discussed in this section. Discretion is advised.
Introduction (May 19- June 09 2021)
I have known 404 through their engagement in the community and their ability as a player. I originally started talking to 404 just to play Tetris with them on May 19 2021. From there we started to talk about Tetris and other similar interests. Our most active time of talking was in June/July 2021.
June 08/09
This is the first image that comes up on the TMH document:

Here is a cleaner close up of what 404 screenshotted:
The context of this message was preceded by this:
I am just talking about happiness and reliable people. I made this statement in a matter of fact way. I was not trying to imply to 404 that I want them to be my girlfriend. This is a topic of discussion I have had with many other people, female or male. I have discussed with 404 (before and after this point) how I feel about my own loneliness and depression.
The whole time I was talking to 404 I was never pushy or tried to force something upon them at any point in time. If 404 had ever expressed or suggested that they were uncomfortable with these topics or with something I said then I would have changed the way I acted. This is an important point to keep in mind as we move forward with this conversation.

June 11 2021 (My mental breakdown)
I will add a very quick note here to say that I don't like the way the TMH document chronicles the conversation between me and 404. In the document they first present our June 17 conversation (read below) but then follow it up with screenshots from the June 11 conversation (this one) about me being suicidal. Presenting it in this way makes it seem like I was trying to make 404 my girlfriend and THEN acting suicidal when that wasn't the case at all. In the healthiest way I can think about it, I am assuming that Renge/TMH didn't really think about this much and just presented this the way 404 explained it to them, but it doesn't show an accurate or fair picture at all.
With that said, here's a message that I sent 404 on June 11 2021. Some of you might remember it because Garbo tweeted that he was concerned for my safety.

(Click here to see a close up of the message 404 screenshotted)
I am someone that suffers frequently from depression and mental health issues in general. I am not super comfortable in talking about my own mental health issues/things outside of it, but on this day I was extremely depressed and had suicidal tendencies.
In the past, when I felt suicidal I often tell people about it and I start saying things without thinking. I think many people have seen me saying suicidal things in either twitter or discord countless times, things that I later regretted and deleted.
To add some context, I was already feeling down that day, and I got a bit cathartic as the conversation progressed. I also expressed to 404 how I want to help others when they feel bad the same way others listen to me when I'm in the same mood:

This is directly followed up by how I would also want to help out 404 (this correlates somewhat with 404 calling it "fun to talk to me before the gf stuff"):

This eventually leads to this message that is show on the doc:

I am sorry to 404 for causing a very scary 1 day gap (I did not disappear for three days as shown in this screenshot in the TMH Document) after sending this message. I never explicitly said that I was suicidal but I definitely was. In this message, I was just trying to vent to someone I trusted at the time. I can see how it looks like I'm leaving a suicide note to 404 and I do apologize.
With this being said, the narrative that I purposefully threatened to commit suicide in order for 404 to keep talking to me/be my girlfriend is not true. This particular incident was the result of my compounding social anxiety that I have been going through for most of my life with the detriment of very poor communication due to English not being my first language. It is a meltdown that I luckily got myself through but that had consequences that were never addressed between me and 404 until the report was made.
To address this message specifically:

Excuse me if I sound like an incel. During this particular time, 404 was the only female non-family related person that I had consistent conversations with, which led me to believe there was some mutual interest and which spurred romantic feelings, albeit temporary. I should have clearly expressed these feelings at an appropriate time and not have conjoined it with my mental breakdown because this makes it look like I'm threatening my life to keep 404 as my friend. Though it is easy seeing this to say that I am an emotional manipulator, this is not the case. I simply have very terrible social skills and timing. When I'm in this state I say things without thinking while also having little awareness as to how the other person might interpret things. What is venting for me is seen as a suicidal threat to someone else. I am sorry.
This is partly why I constantly ask 404 if I make them feel uncomfortable or if I made them upset. This is an unfortunate event that I wish I could go back and fix, but it was not something that ever had malicious intent or a manipulative tone. When I told 404 that I loved them, it was because they were being a basic human being towards me. they were someone that in contrast to everyone else in my life, was fun to chat with.
The reason why I felt like this was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things is because in the aftermath, me and 404 had normal conversations. If 404 felt forced or compelled to keep talking to me, I would assume there would be more distance in our topics of conversation. This is not what happened though, as 404 shared with me that they were going through their own suicidal ideation. As for the conclusion of this, I replied to 404 a few hours later assuring them that I was fine.
June 14 2021 - Knowing 404's Age
From this date forward I knew what 404's age was. they said "13-15". Their age was 14 and my age was 18 at the time.

Prior to this date I seriously thought that 404 was my age or older (older than 18 years old).
June 17 2021 (404 Suicidal Feelings/"I would make you my GF")
I will once again iterate that TMH is not sorting things in chronological order and this is causing an impression on people that negatively affects me. TMH has always had accessed to all the DMs to do this in order, so I am once again assuming they did not really think this out.
This is an image that appears on the TMH Document that people have been using this (including 404) to say that I threatened suicide on 404 in order for they to be my friend (or my girlfriend/be in a relationship, etc.)

(Click here to see a close up of the message that 404 screenshotted in this convo)
The real start of the conversation begins with this message:

I encourage for everyone to read this conversation. The message of contention is this one:

Since 404 was feeling suicidal, I told them that I would make them my girlfriend if we lived in the same country. In hindsight this was very inappropriate and stupid to say to someone that is 1) a minor and 2) suicidal. I am not adept at handling these types of situations and this is just something that splurged out of me. I was trying to help but I came off as an opportunist.
Everything in between (June 18 2021 - Jan 17 2021):
The chat history of me and 404 is very extensive. Everything is there if you want to see it, but for the sake of brevity I will not show and explain every single conversation.
Please read "Circu1ation’s Account" on the TMH Document for other screenshots. When I said "I love you" to 404 it was done under the context of reciprocation and in a "friendly memes and banter, and emotionally supportive conversations. Both cases appear strictly platonic".
Something I will note is that TMH uses my copy of the DMs between me and 404. Not sure why they are using my copy instead of just sourcing it from 404's report directly.
January 18 2022 ("I only talk to you because you're a girl")

(Click here for a close up of the screenshot that 404 screenshotted)
This is a very big time jump. In between this date and the last one a lot has happened. Well, not a lot has happened at all actually. Most of the chatting activity between me and 404 had primarily died down over the following 6 months. I had become more and more distant from 404 as was they towards me.
This is the screenshot 404 shows Renge:

For the most part, I was not talking to 404 ONLY because they were a girl. As shown in our conversations I find a lot of redeeming qualities to them beyond their sexual identity. That said, there is bit of truth to the statement.
I don't normally talk to a lot of girls as frequently as I did with someone like 404, so having that in my life was nice to have. It was a bonus that I got to have a conversation with a girl (again, sorry if this sounds incel-like). Whatever you think of that is not for me to address. After a dwindling in our chat activity we could both tell that we didn't have much to say to each other. It was becoming forced. And like I said I am not a very socially skilled person, so I said exactly how I felt to 404. Looking at it now it was a very inconsiderate thing to say especially after 404's help with my own struggles.
March 21 2022 (Blocking 404)

I eventually blocked 404. I blocked them because I was mad because they were ignoring me. It was a very petty thing to do and frankly quite childish.
I unblocked her 2 months later and wanted to apologized for blocking her for no reason. I apologized on twitter once as I discovered that she blocked me on discord in turn.
Apology
!note This section of the article is based on the second part of this document which is not being posted. The sources for the bottom are drawn from the following:
Full conversation between me, Xynix (TMH), and Jovilly (TMH)
Read the TMH (Renge) document
Read the MMC (Bennxt) document
Read the PK (Moose) document
I have several things to apologize for and regret. I have made mistakes and I will confess to all that I feel are valid and warranted. Please read carefully:
404 Apology
I am sorry to 404 for a variety of things.
- I'm sorry for conveying romantic feelings while I was suicidal. That was clearly a bad idea and I shouldn't have done both of those things at once since it gives the impression that I'm forcing you to be my friend so I don't commit suicide. My social awareness was too poor to realize what I was doing, or see the implication of what I was conveying. Our conversations after these events led me to believe that this wasn't really an issue (not that I identified it as such at the time) when it clearly was. It was never my intention to put that pressure on you and I'm sorry if it caused you unnecessary stress.
- I'm sorry for saying I would make you my girlfriend when you felt suicidal yourself. I didn't really know what to do when you said something like that and somehow that stupid shit came out of me. I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, I asked you many times if you were uncomfortable and even though you said no it was probably the case. I'm sorry for saying that I only talked to you because you were a girl. That was just an extremely inept thing to say and you have more qualities than your gender.
- I'm also sorry for blocking you on Discord.
Asia Logic/Eastern Logic vs. Western Logic
In the conversation I had with TMH as well as in the aftermath of the PK tweet, I had been defending myself by saying this was a matter of Eastern Vs. Western logic and culture. At the time (during my convos with 404 and up to the point with my talk with TMH) I thought it wasn't inappropriate to have these conversations with a minor. This was an honest opinion that I had and was the root of my thinking for most of this situation. I truly did believe that since it was not really a problem (culturally) in my country that the things said between 404 and me were not wrong.
I have come to understand that, fundamentally, the Eastern Logic form of thinking when it comes to age/age gaps is wrong. I should have never done this. I am sorry and I regret all my actions in those conversations. The important lesson I learned was that I should avoid even engaging with someone like 404 if the person is so young. Those DMs I had with 404 were not malicious, or sexual, or manipulative but they are wrong. They are wrong because someone my age shouldn't be having them with someone so young. Aside from learning that this form of thinking is wrong, I have also learned that I can be both non-malicious and wrong at the same time. For this, I am sorry to everyone.
Whether you think this "Eastern Vs Western" opinion is right or wrong, it comes to be very divisive for the community if that is the actual defense. I do not want to divide the community or create a group of Asian followers that hate organizations/Western communities. At this current moment, I feel as if we're going to adopt a standard, at least for these issues the western thinking is the one that I would prefer. Of course, at the time that this all happened this was not my form of thinking.
Showing 404's Identity
Before seeing my apology, read the following summary:
SUMMARY:
- Moose was given an anonymous report about conversations between me and 404
- Moose asked a TMH member, Renge, to confirm the validity of this report which he did
- Renge failed to tell Moose to keep this information private until TMH had finished their investigation.
- On June 11 2022 I was informed by Moose I was banned because of an anonymous report made to TMH. This is the first time I ever hear about this situation.
- After 4 hours of extreme mental stress, I got in contact with someone with Xynix of TMH. I eventually got in a call on June 12 2022 with Xynix and Jovilly, I had a conversation about the situation with 404 and myself. Among many things, I conceded and agreed to TMH's interpretation of the situation privately.
- In this conversation, among many things explained previously, Xynix and Jovilly promise multiple times to talk to Moose and Renge about clearing everything up about the ban.
- For my own safekeeping, I recorded this conversation.
- After this conversation, I was sent a DM by Moose that said the following:

- When I read this, from my point of view I thought the situation between me and 404 was resolved, and that my ban would only be for Sakura Blend.
Now while I thought this was the end of the situation (and I even made Twitlonger expressing my thoughts on June 12 2022), this was by all means not what happened in practice.
What actually happened in reality (Some time between June 12 and June 23):
- After this, Moose was recommended by Renge (the same person who started this problem by not telling Moose to keep it private) to only ban me from Sakura Blend and let me play future events.
- Renge once again failed to tell Moose to keep this information private.
- After Moose and Renge talked, either Puzzle Kingdom (Moose/Company) or TMH leaked that I was banned from Sakura Blend almost immediately (to Bennxt and other organizers I suspect).
- This would come to make me extremely mad in the future.
- Bennxt (owner of MMC) "caught wind" that I was banned from Sakura Blend, and asked Moose why I am banned. Moose tells him.
- Though I was very mad at Moose, I have come to realize that since he was not explicitly told to keep the information to himself then the situation is more understandable.
- On June 17 2022 Bennxt reaches out to Renge who leaks part of the case by presenting Bennxt (the day before Tetralympic S3) "with a 3 sentence abstract of the investigation, which heavily disfavored Circu1ation"
FAST FORWARD 12 DAYS
- On June 24 2022 I was contacted by Bennxt saying that I was banned from Tetrio Journey and Tetralympic
- In this conversation, Bennxt said that he had no proof that I was "guilty or not guilty" and banned me in order to be "neutral"
- This made me extremely angry as I didn't view a ban as a neutral position at all. I thought (at the time) that not only was my situation being discussed to more people (not an "anonymous report" as stated by Moose), but also that whatever investigation was going on was not concluded.
- This suspicion would later be confirmed.
- This made me feel like TMH was withholding information from me that I thought I had already talked to them about
- I warned Bennxt that if he did not share why I was being banned, I would stream and show everyone everything
- Bennxt refused to show me any evidence
- Stream happens. I show the voice call I had with TMH, I show the conversations I had with 404 as well as Bennxt DMs, and the group chat conversations I had with TMH, PK and Bennxt
The reason as to why I did the livestream and in the process showed 404 as the person who had reported me (and really anyone else in my private DMs) was because I had grown frustrated with the communications between TMH, Tetris Organizations (MMC and PK), and myself. This was because on June 24, 13 days after I thought I resolved the situation. I was once again banned from tetris tournaments for what was clearly the exact same situation. From my view, this ban and how everyone was getting this information was poorly communicated on not only TMH and Bennxt's side, but also my own. I felt like I had enough and impulsively decided to do a live stream in an attempt to let everyone see that I had nothing to hide and that I am innocent.
My intent at the time was to show everyone that I was innocent and had nothing to hide. I have realized that this action was not only very selfish but it could have put 404 in a situation of harassment which is something I did not think about when I did the stream. I have deep regrets for doing this and I am very sorry to 404 for making this decision. My intention was to defend myself, not cause anybody harm.
I have tried my best to hide all mentions of this person's name from this document and in the evidence, though I am more than aware that this is pointless to a certain extent. Once again, I am very sorry for doing this stupid and emotionally-driven action.
Twitter Outrage
I had a very extensive outrage on Twitter where I did things I regret. One of those things is showing the conversations between me and 404 without taking the names/scrubbing any identifying info. Similar to the situation where I did the stream, I was very emotional and I did things I regret. I am sorry once again to 404 for doing this.
Conclusion
Personal Statement
I'm not a bad person nor am I a pedophile or a manipulator. I have no history of anything like this prior to this incident or after this report happened. I have had a solid reputation in this community and if it happened that I was a horrible person then it would be much much more evident. I am not like Merevir or Erick or Ipiece. I am a good person with bad social awareness, and I made a mistake which with large amounts of reflection I have come to understand and owned up to.
Looking at this situation honestly, I see it being caused primarily by an overworked and tired organization badly handling their own procedures, and my own emotionally driven stupidity causing a bigger mess. I do believe that both myself and everyone involved in this situation can return to normal. I have admitted that some of the things I said in those DMs were wrong. These wrong things I said might warrant a suspension. Regardless of whether or not this was made public, there was a likelihood that I would have received a punishment anyway, and for that I am not very mad at any particular TOs (anymore). I hold no resentment and I hope that this apology can be accepted by those involved. I am sorry to 404, I am sorry to PK, MMC, TMH, and just the general community for causing so many problems.
This document originally had a second part that was about twice as long as the document you see here where I go over the entire situation I had with TMH. I have decided to not publish this part of the document for the sake of not causing an aggressive response to them or the TOs involved. Though with that being said, I do hope that I can have a renewed dialogue with the people involved and we can resolve this the way it was supposed to go originally.
Thank you for reading.