Sweetheart fucking dies

https://youtu.be/6YpgOFS2-3c
Your name is Richard Smith and you have been having a weird few days, to say the least. Last night giant fucking spiders attacked the whole country killing hundreds. A giant black spindly leg almost took your daughter, but luckily a good shotgun blast at the last second did the trick, although your neighbor's dog wasn't so lucky. The night before, the limbs trying to strangle everyone in that small town in NC when the sky went red for a few minutes made headlines. This luckily gave most in the country the good idea to arm themselves if able, you heard rumors of people from that same town getting...transformed...into strange creatures ranging from a lizard girl with claws and teeth to some of the children getting turned into almost plushie like creatures.

Right now you just blasted open two cartoonishly large pink ornate doors after what can only be described as an absolute massacre against the surrounding population of strange onion creatures. Your buddy who everyone just calls "Beard" said they looked liked sprout-moles.

"Wait the little plant dudes from that one snake ripoff in the arcades?"

"Yeah man, they made a sequel where they cobbled it into an actually good game, it's really fucking fun actually I played it with my little bro. I think a third one just came out actually."

"Huh, weird. Welp, I'm glad we didn't see the centipede but it's probably pissed now. I think we trudged through its nest without realizing it on our way here. That one clearing had a lot of these guys in there."

You gesture to the Sproutmole who was guarding the door with a large hole between its eyes and a green fluid leaking out.

You and your team walk through the doors when the lights go out and a stage light illuminates a pink figure.

"OH HOHOHO-

Her high-pitched laughter is cut off by the entire fucking team gunning her down all at once. You have been ordered to kill on sight and you would rather follow that rule than be shipped back over to Iraq again, of course, it's probably gonna be a desert of sugar or something by tomorrow. This whole weird anomaly spread over the whole county in just a night but then just stopped at the borders, similar thing happened with that same small town from before.

Your team walks forward to see who it was and... wait is that the girl from those movies your daughter likes? Did...did you just gun down-

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SWEETHEART? AHAHAHAHAHAH." Beard exclaims with a smile on his face and laughter.

He falls to the ground clutching his stomach while literally rolling on the floor laughing. The hilarity absolute ridiculousness of this whole situation gets to you and your team. Here you are going through and committing an atrocity against onion people and gunning down their leader who is an anime character. It's like a serial killer walked into a storybook, so insanely out of place it's funny. A smile comes across your face as you realize that you're going to tell people at parties in the future about how you killed a beloved children's animated character.

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Pub: 17 Dec 2021 09:40 UTC
Views: 259