" savoring your sympathy "
saints + sinners
confessional
confess your sins
seek forgiveness, set yourself free
01 . 21 . 24
my hypersexuality betrays me.
i confess in hopes of being forgiven,
and to offload my guilt.
i feel dirty when its not you,
and even though i dont want it,
my body betrays me.
i put myself in these situations.
always, i tempt others
to suffer the consequences
of my own disgrace.
please forgive me, i will do
penance, anything.
01 . 25 . 24
don’t you see
the marks on my body?
and the scars that
stain my sainted soul?
i am not worthy of anything,
not release nor eternity.
i hate myself, will you
hate me too?
please?
01 . 25 . 24
it started as regression,
and continues as that,
but i can tell hes looking
at me with lust.
i don’t want him,
anyone else,
i know if it was you
i wouldnt feel like this.
i need to be punished,
but i already am,
so i keep going.
i need more,
right?
01 . 27 . 24
do you think
im gross now?
i put myself in bad situations
then whine about it after,
im sorry for being so dumb.
i dont even like this,
i just feel gross,
but i keep letting
people use me,
even though
i just want you.
i dont know why im
doing these things,
i just want to be
good.
i was too
desperate to
disappear,
when all i really
needed was to be
with you.
01 . 31 . 24
im so scared.
i feel so out of control.
i feel like im being abandoned.
im a mess, im annoying,
and too much to handle.
im not enough, im not the one.
i dont know what to do.
how do i make sure?
how do i know?
what can i trust,
if i even can?
i dont know what to do.
ill just hide, ill hide until
you hate me, until im worthless.
at least that ill
always know for sure.
im so sorry, im sorry
im so so sorry.
02 . 04 . 24
im scared of what this really means
and how this might end,
tonight ill give up.
ill lay my desires to rest
and accept what ill become,
to be whatever it is
you need.
if i cant even do that,
ill die as penance.
return to pIayground?
( yes ) ⠀ ( no )