Consang info
What is consang?
Consang is short for "consanguinamory", which translates to con (same) + sanguine (blood) + amor (love). It is a descriptor for a healthy, consensual relationship between people who are related (usually by blood, but can also be for those who are adopted or "found family").
What is consang not?
Consang is not inherently abusive, nonconsensual, or harmful, and the vast majority of the community are extremely against anything like that. It is as much indicative of abuse as any other relationship.
FAQ
The power imbalances make it inherently abusive.
I feel like we should put the phrase "power imbalances" up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means, because clearly it's gotten so watered down that it's just an easy way to say "it's bad" while seeming like you have an argument.
Power imbalances are any kind of societal, social, physical, etc power one person holds over another. Because women experience more societal oppression than men, a man and a woman dating would have power imbalances. If someone is physically stronger than someone else, their relationship would have power imbalances. An abled person and a disabled person would, a cis person and a trans person, a straight person and an lgbtq+ person, a white person and a poc. Should we ban every single relationship because there could be power imbalances? Personally, I think we should stop acting like power imbalances are inherently horrible and abusive and instead just see them as something to communicate about.
I was abused in an incestuous relationship, so it's inherently bad. Are you saying I'm lying about my abuse and I should just forgive my abuser?
No.
I was abused by my dad. He was an awful person and what he did was very hurtful and inexcusable. The trauma he caused is absolutely real and not a good thing at all - but it doesn't mean that every single dad on earth is a horrible abuser. I don't go around advocating for imprisoning parents and telling people that they should all hate their parents. I don't tell people that if they become parents they'll immediately turn into abusers.
Almost no one does any of that, because it's clearly illogical - and people should understand that it's illogical no matter what you apply it to. There is nothing inherently abusive besides abuse.
It's gross/weird!
If you really, genuinely use "it's gross" as an argument, then you really need to understand that what you personally find understandable or "normal" is not indicative of what's morally right or wrong. I hate jellybeans, but I don't go around telling people that eating jellybeans makes you an abuser and a horrible person, and I definitely don't go around advocating for arresting people for eating jellybeans. There is a very clear line between "I think this is weird" and "This is actively harmful".
Why would someone ever want to date their family member?
That's a good question - and the truth is, there isn't an answer. I can't answer why I want to date men, I'm just attracted to them. Consang is the same way. Some people just feel attraction and want to pursue relationships because of it. I don't claim to understand why, because no one really understands why, but it's not hurting anyone.