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DOV quote list !

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quote format cannot be kept using rentry , so there won't be any line breaks between new characters speaking . instead they will all be in one line ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

  1. S1 Ep1
    1. COMPUTER: Hello, and thank you for joining the Ohio Department of Variance. In accordance with the superscript under subsection 2 of Obscured Bill 451, also known as the "Normalize Ohio Act" of 2011
    2. COMPUTER: Some outside actors have accused the Department of Variance of being involved in a variety of "cover-ups," "conspiracies," and so-called "union busting," but these rumors couldn’t be farther from the truth.
    3. *video shuts down, alarm blares*
    4. JASMINE: Shit, lights are out. (louder) Hey! Where are we supposed to go? (to herself) Did everyone know we were doing this but me?
    5. *muffled screams from below*
    6. JASMINE: Right, phone’s isolated in the bin at the front desk. Thank god I kept that stupid Hello Kitty flashlight.
    7. JASMINE: (oof, falling grunt, etc)
    8. JASMINE, quietly angry: Who left a rug in the middle of the floor?
    9. SCARLET JAUNT: Operator, are you there? *pause* Operator, please respond. Over.
    10. JASMINE: Oh, I’m Jasmine…Control, I think.
    11. SCARLET: This isn’t going to make much sense right now, but this building can…move. Its floors, its layout, they can all change. It can rearrange itself, morph into something else. Like those metal pin art boxes you can stick your hand in.
    12. NARRATOR: Viridian, indigo, saffron. The colors started taking shape: a bouquet of fractal tones curling into stems and petals.
    13. NARRATOR: She could hear it bounding up the stairs, trudging down the path she had just come from. And light, she could hear the light, snaking around corners and filling the hall.
    14. NARRATOR: And through the curtains she could vaguely make it out: humanoid in shape but alien in composition. Seven, maybe eight feet tall, shambling over fallen chairs and tables with stretchy limbs.
    15. GREY AUTHORITY, chanting, mind lost: But where were you, little bird? I sang to you and you couldn’t see me. I sing to you and you can’t even see me. I sing to you and you can’t even see me. I can see the snow, and it echoes time gone by.
    16. NARRATOR: Then she was standing on the porch of her childhood home. It was a slumping Victorian beast, all peeling paint and patchy scales, sat on the edge of a town so small you could throw a ball from one side and a friend could catch it on the other.
    17. NARRATOR: Now the colors were there, oh exquisite pain to see the colors again. Like kaleidoscopic plumage, as they poured out from the hulking creature’s forehead.
    18. SCARLET: That’s why I wanted you to find the Jaunt, and why we don’t use our names here. Yes, I know about them, but didn’t know there were any around. And here we are, jaunt-less and cornered.
    19. SCARLET: Fuck! It’s getting to me. And here I am jaunt-less, less of jaunt of height and mind, and FUCK stop stop stop. Ummm (singing anxiously, quietly) When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city dun dun dun marching band–
    20. YELLOW: Okay. Now let’s say your coworker’s arm is stuck in the elevator doors. The elevator will plummet twenty floors in the next sixty seconds. The only way to get your coworker out is to break their arm and pull them through the narrow opening. What would you do?
    21. YELLOW: Perfect. Now let’s say a coworker is slowly being fed into a woodchipper, and– OLIVIA: Whoa! YELLOW: Please listen, my dear. They’re being shredded and there’s no way to help them out. What would you do? OLIVIA: I don’t…I don’t know how to respond to that.
  2. S1 Ep2
    1. STERLING PROOF, informational video presentation style: Nevertheless, you’ll be working in the Bureau of Transnatural Resources. Say, that’s my bureau too! Our bureau’s specialty is the cryptozoological, the fictobiological, and the supernatural.
    2. STERLING: We managed to control the lab situation, and now we can induce partial lucid dreaming in conscious participants. With a few minor side effects.
    3. STERLING: We’re still looking into it. Many of the Division of Fictobiology’s /"failures/" have been the Department’s boons. Hell, we just discovered a few new genders no one’s even conceived of yet!
    4. SCARLET: Hey, was that nerd I just heard Sterling? He’s okay?
    5. SCARLET: Let’s see…I’m 5 foot 7, reddish hair, and could send your nose through your brain with one elbow. I don’t know. What the hell do you want?
    6. JASMINE: Is this how you treat a poet and sommelier? SCARLET: I’m going to leave you in this building, Control. JASMINE, "just a little guy" energy: You wouldn’t leave such an elderly woman all alone here. On her first day.
    7. NARRATOR: A tiny part of her withered every morning when she was stirred from dreams of lush green, distant birds, gentle waves on sand. Even nightmares offered more to her than staring at a screen, biking before work, trying out a new recipe.
    8. SCARLET: He studies fictional things. Stories, mythical creatures, whatever. JASMINE: Oh, like a historian, or maybe folklorist in his case. SCARLET: No, he like studies them. Gets samples, records data, keeps some of them. He’s got a fucked up little zoo in here.
    9. SCARLET: Obviously you weren’t, or you wouldn’t be here. Some of us need more than "okay." We need to do something. We need real action. That’s why I can’t leave. Every day I’m here is a nightmare. I could die right now, or tomorrow, or thirty years from now.
    10. SCARLET: The Department doesn’t need us, we need it. There’s something you need that you didn’t have before. There’s a drive, an itch. Whatever that is for you, you’re close to it now. Check that pulse again. You know what it means? It means you’re not bored anymore.
  3. S1 Ep3
    1. JASMINE: I feel like I’m about to do a space walk *laughs* SCARLET: They’re called extravehicular activities. The EVAs are higher up. JASMINE: …am…are we going into space? SCARLET: *one big laugh* no, that’s above our paygrade, Control. You’re going into a room full of sand.
    2. SCARLET: Oh please, this isn’t about rank. It’s for your own safety. JASMINE: Aww, you care about me. Ugh fine. I’ll just leave this incredible miracle of nature to find some stairs.
    3. SCARLET: Those are what we call Colloidals. You ever play d&d? JASMINE: What? Dungeons and Dragons? No. SCARLET: Huh, I took you for a nerd. Well they’re like earth elementals. Just sand riding waves of sound.
    4. JASMINE: They’re so close…Their fingers are so close. I can feel them buzzing…like when you put your hand on a speaker.
    5. JASMINE: And the ceiling looks like wooden fractals. Square and triangle shards jutting and turning. SCARLET: Sounds like Green Plot’s work. JASMINE: I mean…it’s stunning. Incredible use of sound baffling and acoustic design. I’d love to see a symphony here.
    6. JASMINE: But that’s what they’re doing. They know there’s something in there and they’re trying to get it out. The sand in the glass…These things, colloidals, you called them. Are you sure they’re just sand and sound? Are they sentient? Can they…think?
    7. NARRATOR: Nearby, she spotted a music stand, long empty. It would serve a new purpose. Jasmine always believed art was liberating, now that would be literal.
    8. NARRATOR: Inching closer, skin met sand, fingertip to fingertip, and Jasmine experienced a flash of intelligence. Of a single mind split into many, of emotions roiling and bodies undulating. A single mind expressing gratitude, and incredible grace.
    9. SCARLET: You kind, kind fool. There may be something worth a damn in you yet. Hate to admit it, but you’re almost making me like you, Control.
  4. S1 Ep4
    1. SCARLET: What I’m getting at is, I was pretty normal for the most part. High school is when it all went to hell. Puberty didn’t help, neither did confusing sexuality and gender questions. Or all the weed. But there was something else.
    2. SCARLET: We got back home, summer ended, my friend went to college. But I couldn’t just jump back into life like nothing happened. After all that? I don’t know how she did it. I was in a daze for weeks.
    3. JASMINE: "Is all that we see or seem / But a dream within a dream?" SCARLET: What’s that? JASMINE: Edgar Allan Poe. Dream Within a Dream. You like horror, right? You might like it. SCARLET: I read some Poe in junior high. He wrote the one about the gorilla murderer, right?
    4. SCARLET: Because of the stuff that happened up north…trees in general still made me uneasy then. But I went back into the woods anyway. Maybe I needed the exposure to help me get over it. Embraced my fear like a fucked up little batman.
    5. SCARLET: She had a job for me. Government work, with real benefits and a decent wage. I asked her what the catch was. She said I’d have to tell her boyfriend everything we saw in those woods on that long night. There’s always a catch.
    6. SCARLET: Well, after the new name I’d been forced to take: Scarlet Jaunt. The name was whatever, but they got real lucky that I don’t mind the pronouns they gave me. We all had to take on new personas here anyway.
    7. SCARLET: Sterling Proof. Big brain and not much ego, surprisingly. Seems aloof, but that’s just because his head’s in the clouds and he talks like a dictionary. He does fold like a paper bag the second there’s a crisis though.
    8. JASMINE: Hmm. My mom says my great grandmother was psychic, kind of in the folk healer mode. Salting houses, finding lost keys, talking to the dead. And I remember having some strong deja vu when I was a kid. Maybe that’s it?
    9. SCARLET: Where’d you go to school? JASMINE: Ohio State. SCARLET: Oof, fuck that.
    10. SCARLET: I’ll be dropping down soon. Is maintenance up? I didn’t realize we were in full full Asymmetry. Is Sterling okay? Violet? Where is everyone? Did you guys all get out already? That Lark got a little close for comfort.
    11. SCARLET: Well, I dumped pretty much my whole backstory on the newbie. Hope that’s okay. I think she’s cleared for that much at least. Oh, she broke the case in the concert hall. She can be a little rebel when she wants something. I admire that.
    12. SCARLET: Red sucks, Yellow blows, and Blue’s a weenie…No response, huh? Ugh, whatever.
  5. S1 Ep5
    1. SCARLET: Well, if you hadnt noticed, our names mean something. We get a color, and an action. So Im Scarlet Jaunt. Not sure about the "Scarlet" part–hair, maybe?–but I’m usually out in the field dealing with problems the park rangers cant handle. So like out on a little jaunt
    2. JASMINE: I don’t think they could put a lock on a fire escape, so it must be blocked or sealed. SCARLET: Can you kick it in? JASMINE: I’ve got an emails job. I specifically took this position to avoid kicking.
    3. *Jasmine tries to kick the door in*
    4. JASMINE: What runs the elevators here? Is it as fantastical as everything else? SCARLET: Yeah, giant caterpillars inch up and down the shafts and push the elevators. And when they get hungry, we have to feed them giant leaves we get imported from Europe. JASMINE: …..really?
    5. SCARLET: Sorry, I’ll try to be less funny and cool from now on.
    6. *door opens, chair moves* GABE: WHOA, hey, occupied! Don’t take another step. JASMINE: Holy sh– who…is that a desk? GABE, panicked: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
    7. GABE: Well Jasmine you gave me a hell of a scare. Thought you were gonna turn into one of those huge fuckers with the Pink Floyd laser show coming out of their heads. Or worse.
    8. JASMINE: So you didn’t get assigned a name? Or is Gabe a…color? GABE: Nah, they don’t give a shit about us contract workers. We’re out here raw-dogging this place. Saw the Mothman in here once and didn’t know if it was real or if I’d been huffing sewage fumes.
    9. NARRATOR: Jasmine leaned her head into the shaft and looked up for where she started, floor 26. Instead, she saw a massive cocoon. A huge white chrysalis, easily her size, was attached to the wall about 15 feet up. She turned back toward Gabe with a finger to her lips.
    10. GABE: That’s no Mothman, that’s the fucking Butterfly Boy!
    11. GABE: Come get me, bourgeois scum. Fuckin middle-manager-ass bug, couldn’t even drop the tie. A specter’s haunting your ass, and his name’s Robert Fripp.
    12. JASMINE: Thank god Gabe was here to help. SCARLET: Who? Gabe? Gabe West was there? JASMINE: Yeah. Tall, thin, communist manifesto in their pocket. Know them? SCARLET: Kind of. We run in the same…political circles. Wink. I just don’t yell at people online about it.
    13. JASMINE: It’s okay. We’re in a life or death situation here, we’re all stressed. And thank you, Scarlet. SCARLET: For what? JASMINE: For not calling me "Control." SCARLET: Well don’t get used to it. It was a…moment of vulnerability in a time of crisis. Won’t happen again.
    14. SCARLET: You’re in the Psychedelics Lab, Control. You heard of Project Bluebird?
  6. S1 Ep6
    1. SCARLET: Right. Mostly all the CIA does is commit crimes against humanity. But 60s nostalgia was all the rage in the early 90s, so this agency decided to see if they could…learn from it.
    2. SCARLET: Groovy, baby. That’s why I’ve never been. If I wanted my brain poisoned by some warmed over CIA mush, I’d play Call of Duty.
    3. SCARLET: So leave the helmet and grab the headphones. JASMINE: But then I won’t be able to hear you. SCARLET: You can live without me for 5 minutes. JASMINE: You can’t see me but I look concerned.
    4. SCARLET: Cool, can we move on now? Im um…Im dying of…carbon monoxide poisoning. We gotta go JASMINE: Sure you can go. Get out while you can Scarlet. Im going to read through this for a sec SCAR: No survival instincts in that brain of yours. Maybe that’s why they hired you
    5. SCARLET: God I wish I was there so I could throw you in the trash and wheel you out. Doing this over the radio is like pulling teeth from a fucking tiger.
    6. STERLING: *leaning away* Copper, are you almost here? I could really use that towel… *back on mic* Hmm. That’s odd, I thought we discontinued the music. I can still hear it. Very light, like a sparrow calling. How is it playing without power? I should go see what’s going on.
    7. JASMINE: Hey, Scar? Who’s Green? SCARLET: Green is…was…the head of the Dead Letter Office, and later ran the Bureau of Transnatural Resources.
    8. SCARLET: Green moved on from drawing floorplans to messing with his head. Rapid hypnosis, lucid dreaming, telepathy studies, and memory. I think he had a lot of nostalgia for the hippie days, even though he was never there.
    9. SCARLET: He was kind of right. Took him years, but he found something. The birdsong was his baby, but it got to him in the end. Nostalgia’s a strong drug; way too easy to look into your past and stay there.
    10. *birdsong fades in*
    11. NARRATOR: The light from its head splayed across her face. She was compelled, staring wide and unblinking. She could see her entire life playing out in the dancing colors, and then what was once Copper View’s life. She could see far ahead, too. Years of her life yet to come,
    12. NARRATOR: Jasmine looked down at her shaking palms, and saw a faint circle of light. Indigo, teal, pink, yellow, scarlet. A pearlescent rainbow rippled in her hands, then grew dim and disappeared entirely.
  7. S1 Ep7
    1. NARRATOR: Ivory Torment slid toward Jasmine. Its round, blank face morphed. A bump in the center, two indents above, an ovular hole below. It was making a crude imitation of a face. Too late, Jasmine recognized it was her own face.
    2. JASMINE: That doesn’t…I can’t not know something I already know. SCARLET: You can, because you have to. You’ll live, because you have to. Push the button. Fall backward, Jasmine. You have to trust me. You won’t hit any mirrors.
    3. SCARLET: If you don’t, this thing will have full and unrestricted access to your mind. You won’t remember a thing after this. You’ll be a husk. Your life will be over. Do you understand, Jasmine? It’s going to take your memories, and then take your place.
    4. NARRATOR: Jasmine stood up from the damp grass and wiped her hands on the teal suit. She looked at her palms, and saw a faint swish of color, just a flash. She saw two figures emerge from the red jeep. A girl she didn’t recognize, and Scarlet.
    5. NARRATOR: Jasmine saw someone else step out of the jeep. Someone with her face.
    6. NARRATOR: The flow between herself and Jasmine was freer than ever, like they were sitting a only few feet apart under the stars. Like they’d been childhood friends.
    7. SCARLET: No, it’s a joke. You’ve never seen Scream JASMINE: Like the 90s movie? S: Yeah! Ghostface. J: I don’t do horror that well. S: Well, I think you should watch it. J: Nahh, I don’t think– S: Come on, seriously. After this, let’s watch it.
    8. SCARLET: Gotta be Reese’s. Hands down. Though one time I got thin mints from a house with like 5 kids–all in girl scouts–and that was probably the best day of my little life. You? And don’t say candy corn– JASMINE: –I like candy corn….
    9. SCARLET: You’re pretty new in town, right? JASMINE: Yeah, just moved here a month ago. Right after the interview. SCARLET: Have you been to the Song Bird since then?
    10. JASMINE: All right. Let’s do it. SCARLET: It’s a date then, Jaz. JASMINE: Oh! Cool. I wasn’t su– SCARLET, panicking: Well, you know what I mean. The expression. "The date is saved," you know?
    11. SCARLET: Violeeet, I fucked up. NARRATOR: Scarlet stood up quickly and started pacing around the lobby. *garbled static* SCARLET: Vi, can you hear me? I embarrassed myself publicly. I feel like you’ll want to hear this. *static*
    12. SCARLET: Being queer’s variance, of a sort. I’m doubly protected, then. I wonder if Jasmine…No, she seems almost fully exposed. Then again, she dealt with the Lark somehow…
    13. JASMINE: If there’s a huge shark in here I’m gonna to kill you, Scarlet. Even if I die I’ll come back and I’ll haunt you until you die and then I’ll punch your ghost. SCARLET: Hey, don’t say things you’ll regret. The shark isn’t that big.
    14. *splash, treading water* JASMINE, with some effort: Fuck this. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. *surprised noise* SHIT that was just a printer. Fuck this. Fuck you.
    15. STERLING: If only… VIOLET: You miss Green. STERLING: Of course. I loved him, you know. VIOLET: I know. STERLING: I loved you, too. VIOLET: *sigh* I know.
  8. S1 Ep8
    1. JASMINE: Yes, hi, hello, is someone there? This is Jasmine Control. What’s your sign? VIOLET: Virgo. JASMINE: Oh, no color name? Are you maintenance, too?
    2. VIOLET: Oh. Um…do you see anyone else around? Big idiot with lights coming out of his head?
    3. JASMINE: I haven’t seen anyone else here the whole time, other than Gabe. VIOLET: The…janitor? JASMINE: Yeah, they helped me get down here. VIOLET: They shouldn’t…Something’s wrong.
    4. VIOLET: Tell Scarlet I’m sorry. If she ever picks up. JASMINE: You can do it yourself. I’m going to get you out of there. VIOLET: Guess I had a decent run. Wait, no, it actually really sucked. But it was A run. I never got to see Prague. Goth as hell cathedral.
    5. VIOLET: All the mail that doesn’t fit in any of the Dead Letter Offices gets sent here. There’s a lot of it, and it’s usually not bombs.
    6. NARRATOR: She panicked, and pushed over the rest of the box tower. Out of the boxes spilled an assortment of colored envelopes. Among them was an old video game cartridge, a tamagotchi keychain, and a mirror
    7. JADE: Looks like you’ve got a sandwich today. VIOLET: Yeah. Turkey club. J: Turkey? That’s on the list, Violet. V: That’s a whole turkey, slices arent banned. […] J: You can finish eating. But in the future, check with Grey before you bring in anything that could be variant.
    8. VIOLET: No thanks. Last time I took one of the psychs I saw god’s face and they looked like that sun baby from the teletubbies. Didn’t sleep for two days.
    9. STERLING: Right. How are you and Scarlet doing? VIOLET: Fine. STERLING: What does "fine" mean, Vi? VIOLET: She’s really cool. And great to hang out with. But I’m just like…burnt out on it. I don’t know. We’ve got this stupid game night coming up…
    10. VIOLET: I thought maybe this time, since we’d been friends for so long… you know…but it’s not working. I try and try, but it always collapses. Everyone thinks I just stop loving them. That’s bullshit–it’s just different love. The long term romance stuff just doesn’t work for me
    11. VIOLET: No, this wasn’t part of the plan. JASMINE: Plan? What plan? VIOLET: I guess it’s too late now, I might as well tell you. The alarm, the lock-in, Scarlet on the line. This whole thing. It’s part of your training, Jasmine. You’re still in orientation.
  9. S1 Ep9
    1. SCARLET: It was supposed to be quick, a few hours of testing and then the new hire would be part of the team. I’d be there to make sure she followed the rules. That nothing broke.
    2. NARRATOR: This whole thing had blown up, and she was only now realizing it. Had it been real from the very beginning? The Larks weren’t part of the plan, but she’d figured–hoped, really–that Sterling was improvising.
    3. SCARLET: Was that alarm the start of Jasmine’s training, or a legit warning? Either way, I gotta get out of here ASAP. Only a dozen or so floors left. But Jasmine…she’s in serious danger. I can’t just leave her, not after all the lies…I’m not leaving yet.
    4. SCARLET: I’m gonna fight through the abyss. I’ll find Jasmine and we’ll get out together, the rest of this place be damned. This experiment is canceled, and I’m gonna make sure the lab mice are cared for.
    5. SCARLET: No shit it’s off track. Two Larks? Are you insane? STERLING: That was…not my doing. SCARLET: So it’s really going down. STERLING: It would appear so, yes.
    6. SCARLET: Okay, I’m on my way up to help Jaz–err... STERLING: Pardon? SCARLET: Control, I’m going to find her and get out of here.
    7. STERLING: Because if I try to leave, I’m going to die. SCARLET: You’re lucky I care about Violet, and she cares about you. STERLING: I count myself lucky every day to know the two of you. SCARLET: Gross. Fine. I’ll swing by after I find Control.
    8. NARRATOR: She tucked a box cutter into her jacket pocket, then tossed a crystal ball in her hands a few times to test the weight. She tore a metal bar off one of the nearby desks and swung up, then down.
    9. SCARLET: Who were the Primaries kidding? I’m not here to proctor exams or watch over test subjects–I’m here to kick monster ass.
    10. NARRATOR: The elevator bay came into view, and in front of the doors stood two Operators, weapons at the ready. But they didn’t have jaunts, they had…those were pistols. Nine millimeter. She could see the beginnings of the birdsong infection in them
    11. NARRATOR: Scarlet jumped across the gap and clung to the suspension cables. She wrapped the belt around the metal ropes, clasped her feet together, and started the three-story climb.
    12. The corner of the floor struck her in the stomach, and she scrambled to grab onto the ledge before sliding into the pit. Her hand caught something in the foyer, something large and cold. It wrapped itself around her wrist and pulled her onto the 18th floor with little effort
    13. GREY AUTHORITY: The best way to succeed is to submit. Submit to the will of your pinstripe gods. Take leaded communion in the corporate cathedral, of gasoline fumes and heavy carbon. I am your only friend. Friendly blue with eyes pouring out the sky. Deadly red rescinded.
    14. GREY: Socialist destroying and decaying my love of oh you wide america. Packed workplace is the only flag. Mad little social clone, you, your comrades all dead at the register. Better a fascist with eyes plucked out than a communist.
    15. NARRATOR: Scarlet hurdled down the hallway, vaulting over decade-old office chairs toppled in rows. She swung into her workspace, threw open the chest below her computer, and retrieved her prize: the jaunt, all black, curved edges, shining.
    16. NARRATOR: Lapis Lore, head librarian, one of the first volunteers in the Psychedelic Labs. But now she sees things no one else can, even other people who’ve been through the same tests. Some think she isn’t seeing those things, she’s making them.
    17. GREEN: No, Ms. Lore, I’m doing just fine. Thank you. How is your study coming along? LAPIS: Well, I started with some grains of rice. Then I moved on to a dime. Now, I can almost lift a whole quarter! I have been hallucinating frequently.
    18. JASMINE: Oh. It’s just…this is a lot. Can I quit now? If it’s all fake? I want to end the charade and go home. VIOLET: No, you can’t. Something actually happened before your tests started. Larks were not part of the plan. Neither was losing contact with literally everyone else in the building.
  10. S1 Ep10
    1. JASMINE: What about Copper…or what was left of him in the lab? VIOLET: Jesus, it got Copper, too. He sucked ass but he didn’t deserve that.
    2. JASMINE: Does this mean…Scarlet… VIOLET: I…I haven’t heard from her. JASMINE: Oh god…she lied to me. For so long. And she was mean!
    3. JASMINE: I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. VIOLET: Dude, same. I was just supposed to be a voice in your watch. Now I’m fucked, too.
    4. VIOLET: I was there, in the woods.
    5. VIOLET: Something actually happened before your tests started. Larks were not part of the plan. Neither was losing contact with literally everyone else in the building.
    6. JASMINE: Ew. How is there even gum on the seats in here? VIOLET: I think that’s like…a universal constant. Like the speed of light or something. There’s always gum on the seat in a theater. JASMINE: It’s not yours, is it? VIOLET: I don’t have to answer that.
    7. VIOLET: I know she’s a lot sometimes. But if you somehow got her to care for you, she’ll do anything. She’ll fight God for you, if she can. She’ll blow up the whole world.
    8. STERLING: You’ll be participating in what we’re tentatively calling the Protagonist Initiative. […] if things like the Larks can be created, not just discovered, could we not also imbue similar strength in one of our own? Could we induce variance, so to speak.
    9. LAPIS: Sometimes, when no one is around, I sneak on top of one of the wider shelves and stare at the ceiling. Sometimes I often do this for hours.
    10. LAPIS: Violet, like your girlfriend Violet? SCARLET: We…ex girlfriend now. LAPIS: I’m so sorry, when did that happen? SCARLET: After that game night a while ago. You were there. LAPIS: Ahhh, I had no idea. SCARLET: It’s cool, we’re chill now. LAPIS: I see. Chilly
    11. LAPIS: A shiny disc, empty in the center. SCARLET: Oh shit, that’s a dvd, Lapis. She’s in the screening room. You’re incredible. A true clairvoyant of ye olden times. LAPIS: Happy to help! Visit me sometime in my tiny book city, and bring fried dough circles
    12. JASMINE: Total dweeb.
    13. STERLING: These creatures we’ve captured, these…worms. They’re able to travel through electromagnetic waves, through our broadcast transmissions, through some speech!
    14. STERLING: It’s…it’s theoretically possible, but practically insane.
    15. NARRATOR: The shadow moved toward them, buzzing as it came, and Jasmine could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. It made a sound like a broken speaker, or microphone feedback.
    16. VIOLET: You look like shit. SCARLET: HA! Ever seen the inside of a Lark? VIOLET: I’d rather not. SCARLET: Well now you have, cuz I’m covered in it. VIOLET: You’re disgusting. SCARLET: And you kissed disgusting, so what does that make you? VIOLET: Full of regret.
    17. NARRATOR: Jasmine turned toward Scarlet and wrapped her in a brief hug before separating.
    18. VIOLET: Great, now we’re a party. We can all die together. SCARLET: Dibs on melee.
  11. S1 Ep11
    1. Fern Daemon: DM Scarlet Jaunt: Bristle Widearm, Barbarian Violet Lull: Lilith Evermore, Rogue Lapis Lore: Viridium Lytheria, Warlock Copper View: Shane Blackwell, Artificer, gunslinger custom subclass
    2. FERN: Is that elf or half-elf? LAPIS: The sheet says elf. Does that mean Legolas elf or little Keebler elf? FERN: Uhh closer to Legolas, I’d say.
    3. VIOLET: I guess. My character’s name is Lilith Evermore. COPPER: Is there a Mister Evermore?? VIOLET: She kills all her suitors, especially dweeby little–
    4. SCARLET: Wait, what? You have guns?-- VIOLET: Bullshit, come ON– LAPIS: I thought it was the middle ages…
    5. LAPIS: Viridium’s eyes go white, and many colorful rays appear around her, like a rainbow. And a full moon is behind her.
    6. COPPER, in accent: Good, Bristle, you go find the dastards what done this. I’ll protect Lilith. (dropping accent) I’m going to try to pick up Lilith and carry her to safety. VIOLET: Ugh.
    7. LAPIS: It seems like I should stay…I do not want Lilith to get hurt. Can I make a pillow out of leaves or use several squirrels as a blanket for her?
    8. VIOLET: Are you kidding me? Can I switch dice? FERN: What is it? VIOLET: I rolled a six. I can’t roll above a fucking 10.
    9. COPPER: Do I have advantage on that? Since Bristle’s right there, too? FERN: No, flanking’s out in this edition.
    10. FERN: Well, next up is…wait did we skip Lapis? LAPIS: I do not remember, I was conjuring a perfect cube in my mind. FERN: What spell is that? LAPIS: Oh, no, I was doing that, not my Viridium
    11. COPPER, accent: Well, looks like Viridium and I took care of that first threat, Lilith. Usually, when a hero steps up, some thankful folks will show their appreciation. What say a bit of gold, or a peck on the cheek, perhaps, before our next battle? FERN: I’m not sure–
    12. SCARLET: Hey, I’m sorry about Copper, didn’t know he was such a dick. VIOLET: Yeah, Scarlet, I think we’re done. SCARLET: For sure, I didn’t know it’d work out like this. Let’s go. I’ll tell Fern– VIOLET: *sighs* No, Scarlet, I think we’re done. We need to take a break.
    13. VIOLET: Well, Scarlet, for one: I don’t think coupling up long-term with someone is for me. SCARLET Oh. Well, okay. VIOLET: You know I have trouble with…feelings like that. So I think it’s better if we end this now before either of us get hurt. Rather than drag it out.
    14. VIOLET: I like you too, Scar. But if it’s not working, isn’t this better than pretending everything’s fine and secretly hating each other for years? Like some kind of straight couple?
    15. SCARLET, walking away: And you can keep the Bureau shirt I left there. (distant and fading out) Hey Copper Top, game’s over. You don’t have to try to get your hands on every girl who tolerates you. All two of them. You could just chill for like a minute and look…
  12. S1 Ep12
    1. JASMINE: Who’s the librarian? SCARLET: Lapis Lore. She’s great. She’ll probably say some weird shit, just go along with it. She’s odd, but she’s right. VIOLET: Usually. SCARLET: Usually.
    2. JASMINE: The design is incredible. VIOLET: That’s Green, for you. SCARLET: I think he copied part of the floor plan from an old college in Ireland. JASMINE: Probably Trinity.
    3. VIOLET: That’s just fucking House of the Devil. JASMINE: What? VIOLET: It’s literally beat-for-beat the movie. We watched it together, you dumb asshole. SCARLET: Fine, it is, okay? I just thought it would be fun to trade scary stories.
    4. VIOLET: Whistling isn’t silent. SCARLET: FINE! If I hear a single sound from either of you, I’m turning this car around. VIOLET: What car.
    5. VIOLET: Love to live in the end times. Feeling like I’m going to vomit 24/7. SHADOW: And Scarlet, now she’ll never return your feelings. VIOLET: No, but…I don’t have feelings for her, that was the whole problem with... Wait, what are we talking about?
    6. JASMINE: What’s– SCARLET: Would you quit it? J: Quit what? S: All the questions and opinions. We’re doing fine. J: I’m not… S: You’re… J: Wow, that’s awfully personal of you, Scarlet. S: When did– J: Well, definitely. VIOLET: Hey.
    7. VIOLET: Hey, stop. Seriously. Are you finally losing your two brain cells? I’m feeling like a third wheel.
    8. VIOLET: God, come on. It’s "C H L D O A S T" SCARLET:...Chilled…oats? JASMINE: Ah, the word "child" without the letter "I" and "coast" without the "c ". SCARLET: Hell yeah, go Violet. We can cross now.
    9. JASMINE: That sounds easy enough. *snorting and a howl* VIOLET: It never is.
    10. JASMINE: Wow, the minotaur. Should have seen that coming. SCARLET: Is that a fucking gatling jaunt? VIOLET: Im going to die with you two idiots. In a fucking library. JASMINE: How did Theseus defeat the great bull? S: He probably beat the shit out of it like Im about to
    11. LAPIS: If only you had the magicks of my fey warlock. VIOLET: Hold on. Lapis, can you imagine her? Your warlock? LAPIS: Yes, and I do often.
    12. LAPIS: Yes, she is in the cave with the minotaur now. The minotaur is strong, but he is made of paper, you see. So she knows the weakness. She has a sword of magic fire. I can see her now. VIOLET: Holy fuck, so can I. I think the minotaur can, too.
    13. NARRATOR: The hero swung the fiery blade and cut the minotaur in two. Its halves ignited and burned bright and hot, until only a smoldering pile of ash and some scorched dice remained. Then the hero and the minotaur vanished.
    14. LAPIS: What fun! We should play the game again, some time. VIOLET: What game? LAPIS: The game of dragons in dungeons we just played. VIOLET: So all that was… LAPIS: Very evil, yes, from my game.
    15. SCARLET: I was trying for a "These-eus nuts" joke…but I couldn’t make it work. VIOLET: Oh my god, shut up. S: Favorite greek guy…Bofades....bofa deez– V: You’re literally killing yourself with these jokes. S: Worth…it…
    16. SCARLET: If we want to get to Sterling, we’re going to have to make it through that fuck-off swarm in front of his door.
  13. S1 Ep13
    1. GABE: Oh, wait, that’s not the hardest part. I forgot: there are cocoons all along the damn shafts.
    2. NARRATOR: Then it was Violet’s turn. She stared down the empty pit below her. If they missed the cable, slipped even once…
    3. NARRATOR: Jasmine reached out for Violet’s hand. A shimmer of color appeared in her palm, which flashed for just a second. In that second, she saw glimpses of Violet’s past, mingled with memories from her own childhood.
    4. NARRATOR: In order to keep her hold, she had to let something else go, release other memories. She let loose the fall, the late night dinner, her first pet’s name. She no longer remembered how she got the faint scar above her nose, nor that she had one at all.
    5. NARRATOR: Jasmine reached out, reached into the scene, and her hand came back awash in swirling hues. She closed her eyes, and felt the colors move through her arm, up her shoulder, and into her head.
    6. NARRATOR: Violet called on all her experience from the two gym classes they actually showed up to in high school. It was a long moment full of yelping and swearing, but a moment later, she was safely on the floor below.
    7. NARRATOR: Octagonal marble pillars rose high throughout the lobby. Jasmine could see the evening sky through patches of the glass high on the wall. She was so close to the outside, but still so far.
    8. GABE: But since this whole place is like a goddamn haunted house, it connects with all the other maintenance areas, too. JASMINE: Like arteries. GABE: Arteries filled with people turning into butterflies, sure.
    9. SCARLET: Let’s move. Violet, get between me and Scarlet–wait a minute…get between me and Jasmine. Just in case.
    10. SCARLET: Don’t touch anything, okay? Those gears could take your hand off, and who knows about the goo sacks there. VIOLET: Too late. I kicked a few. SCARLET: Now why the hell would you do that? VIOLET: Don’t like bugs. *screech from below*
    11. NARRATOR: The pale green giant began pulling the silk back into its mouth, dragging Scarlet closer to its chattering jaw. JASMINE: Does anyone have a knife? Or a lighter? GABE: You think this thing likes to get smoked out like the one in Alice in Wonderland?
    12. STERLING: The plan was to see if we could produce in you, Control, any kind of heroic aptitude or other supernatural phenomena. To see if we could do this without full exposure to the birdsong.
    13. STERLING: Well, we would have studied the results, ensured its safety, and replicated the test in all future hires. Maybe even in myself. Theoretically. JASMINE: What if it wasn’t theoretical? STERLING: Pardon? SCARLET: She fought off a Lark with her bare hands, dude
    14. JASMINE: There’s more. I think I can…see the future. Or change the past. Or something. Because I saw Violet die, earlier– VIOLET: What the fuck. JASMINE: –Sorry, Violet. I saw her die.
    15. GABE: I mean, yeah, sounds about right. That any weirder than a stoner bird guy or a song that turns you into a fuckin scooby doo villain?
    16. YELLOW: Once Green’s birdsong is released. You will test their limits. Push them beyond their sensory experiences. Harm them, if you must. GREY: For the good of the office. YELLOW: Yes, the office. We will all benefit.
    17. VIOLET: Assuming Gabe didn’t hallucinate this whole thing. GABE: Hey, man, I haven’t hallucinated in 12 hours. Wait, nope, scratch that. Unless there really is a horse with the green m&m’s face in the corner over there.
    18. SCARLET: I’ll drag you if I have to…I’m not leaving you behind. *click* STERLING: I’m afraid you must. SCARLET: You absolute clown. Handcuffed to the desk. Really?
    19. SCARLET: Let’s try it. The faster we get out, the faster we can help Sterling and Violet. JASMINE: and Gabe. GABE: and Gabe. SCARLET: And Gabe. Thanks, bud.
  14. S1 Ep14
    1. GREEN: If something is amiss in our lab, or anywhere else in the department, I can lock everything in. A building-wide quarantine. I can alter its structure, move staircases, block elevators. All with my thoughts alone. I call it Asymmetry.
    2. STERLING: You would be the worm in the building’s head. You’d see everything it sees. GREEN: Precisely. All with a single vial of liquid.
    3. NARRATOR: It sat still for just a moment, then dropped into freefall. Jasmine’s hair floated upward, Scarlet’s boots left the ground. The two were in a suspended state for just a second, but the growling fear in their stomachs made it seem like an hour.
    4. NARRATOR: Jasmine and Scarlet stepped into the lobby foyer. The room was dark; the sun had set and the lights that remained on were dim. All they needed to do was cross the room, walk down the stairs, and they’d be free […] But there’s always a catch.
    5. NARRATOR: The case was the size of a small bedroom, and contained the amenities of one, as well–a plain bed, a nightstand, a half-read book sitting face down and open. Standing in the center, in a plain green sweater and beige slacks, was Green Plot.
    6. STERLING: What is it you’re afraid of, Green? GREEN: If I tell you, it will come. STERLING: What will come? GREEN: If I tell you, it will come. If I tell you–
    7. STERLING: What…rather, who are your favorite painters? The impressionists? Cubists? GREEN: The surrealists. Miró. STERLING: What is it you like about Miró’s work? GREEN: Rejection of tradition. Exploring the unconscious mind. Anti-war.
    8. STERLING: Copper, stop the music. Abort the test. Something is off. His answers are outside the normal parameters. He won’t talk about his childhood. GREEN: No, it’s your childhood we will be discussing today, Sterling Proof. Or should I say Rowan?
    9. STERLING: Christ, Green, you’re…you’re floating. GREEN: Telekinesis manifest. The other boys wouldn’t let you play with them, would they? Called you names? ST: I…I’m leaving. This is…this is too personal. G: Do you remember when they shoved your face in the mud?
    10. STERLING: Green, how is a raven like a writing desk. GREEN: You could live there, Rowan. You could live in that tiny bubble in your tiny mind. I could send you there. I could send you anywhere, past, future. I could tear into you. I could heal you.
    11. GREEN: Hhhhhnnnggg He loved you, you know. He loved you the way he loved himself. Loved the carousel and the ferris wheel. Paris feel and London find, with a little green awning where they served the eyes of patrons on high. […] hhhnnng…Goodbye Sterling Proof.
    12. GREEN: I drained the entire vial before the test. I knew the risks to my own health, but I hadn’t considered his, nor anyone else’s. Sterling was always the superego to my id. Without him…
    13. JASMINE: The Larks, they’re like you. Like you if you didn’t stop yourself. GREEN: Yes, and no. They’ve likely only heard the birdsong. They haven’t ingested the agonist. The synthetic excretion.
    14. NARRATOR: Classical music floated into the lobby through the building’s PA system. Down the steps strode a tall woman in a yellow overcoat and lemon-tinted glasses. Next to her stumbled a man in a blindfold and lab coat.
    15. GREEN: Why…how did you get to Sterling? I thought I had sealed all exits. YELLOW: You think I didn’t keep a little corner of your mind free to run the executive elevator?
    16. NARRATOR: Yellow pulled a snubnose pistol from her coat pocket and pushed Sterling in front of her. GREEN: Yellow, no! *gunshot* JASMINE: Sterling! YELLOW: So simple, so direct. Quiet effective at making a point. No need for any complicated setup. Just the punchline.
    17. GREEN: Just…listen, Sterling. Do you hear the birds singing? Under the shade of the tall oak boughs? The bluebirds call, their song is for you. Our song is for you. Listen. Follow the song.
    18. YELLOW: I don’t care about the control. Or you, for that matter, Alex.
    19. JASMINE: In the maze…Violet said she couldn’t understand us. Were we…reading each others’ minds? YELLOW: You’re quicker on the uptake than your friend, Olivia. Though sharing minds may be more accurate. That whole "protagonist" business, that was Sterling’s plot.
    20. YELLOW: I thought you’d be thrilled to mingle thoughts with all your little comrades. SCARLET: … Second, Im a communist, not collectivist. Third, knowing what every other communist is thinking all the time might be the single most effective anti-communist measure in history
    21. YELLOW: All workers’ minds merged into one, all thoughts pooled into me. Imagine…my voice in your ears at all times. No barriers to communication, no delegation or deviance. Just pure, direct access.
    22. JASMINE: Telepathic control…you want to make us dance like puppets. YELLOW: It’s not about control. It’s about connection. Words can be so slow. And emails? Elevators? Walking to cubicles? Forget it. Productivity will skyrocket, my dear.
    23. NARRATOR: A stream of intense color projected from Green Plot’s forehead. His body levitated, floated out of his holding cell, then hovered over the glass prison. He opened his arms wide, and out came a wave of color and sound.
    24. YELLOW: Now, onto you, Alex. *gunshot* SCARLET: *pained sound*
    25. YELLOW: You obey. I love it. Why didn’t I get into violence sooner? Why did no one tell me about this. Did you all know and keep it from me?
    26. NARRATOR: She was surrounded, and she could feel the angry thoughts of her attackers. She felt Scarlet’s pain, Sterling’s cold realization, Yellow’s condescendence. Jasmine upturned the vial into her mouth and swallowed.
    27. NARRATOR: A multitude of colors streamed like ribbons around her hands. She opened her mind fully to the birdsong playing over the speakers and embraced the call. JASMINE: That’s not what happens at all. YELLOW: What was that? What did you–
    28. NARRATOR: Jasmine pointed her index finger at Yellow Access. Light splayed out in a fractal pattern and slammed Yellow into a wall fifteen feet away.
    29. NARRATOR: Over her shoulder she felt the burning nova mind of Green Plot. Even at a fraction of his power, he was a serious threat. Jasmine reached out, but he didn’t budge. She pleaded with him, played rounds of chess, showed him facts and figures
    30. GREEN: Dear Rowan…
    31. JASMINE, internally: Scarlet is lost. All is lost. Lost in thought and thought I’d seen…No. Scarlet is lost. That’s it. I need to get to some point before the gunshot. If I can do just one more jaunt, I can save Scarlet, my own life be damned at this point.
    32. NARRATOR: And there was Scarlet standing in a pool of vibrant red. Jasmine tried to hold on to that image. She discarded whatever it took to keep her grasp: her old address, how to make the perfect eggs over easy, her first day of high school, her grandmother’s funeral.
    33. SCARLET: This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. I should be saving you. I…I don’t need… JASMINE: Just say it. Let someone else help you. Say it, and take my hand, you…you stubborn asshole. SCARLET: I…Fine. I need you, Jasmine. Help me.
    34. NARRATOR: Jasmine’s hand met Scarlet’s, and Jasmine pulled. Every window in the lobby of the Department of Variance shattered. Green Plot splintered further, and his burning light dimmed. He took Sterling’s limp form in his arms, and the two vanished in a bubble of paint.
    35. SCARLET: Hey. If we make it out of here, I want you to know something. It is a date. Like the kind where people kiss, if you– JASMINE: I know, Scar. You’re not exactly subtle. SCARLET: Cool. JASMINE: Cool…
    36. JASMINE: Hey, Scar, you okay? Say something. SCARLET: W-what? JASMINE: Wow, your hair looks different. Did something happen, Scarlet? SCARLET: Olivia, are you okay? JASMINE: Wait, how did you– NARRATOR: A bump in the road jostled her in her seat.
    37. NAR: It wasn’t a car, it was a red jeep. One that Jasmine had a prickling suspicion she’d seen before. SCARLET (ALEX): Olivia. My guy. Who the hell is Scarlet? JASMINE: Where…where are we? VIOLET (NADIA): I think she’s like…having a breakdown. Too much OSU swag.
    38. NARRATOR: Jasmine took the cell phone out of her pocket and flipped it open. July 23rd, 2011
    39. JASMINE: Oh god, oh god…I…went back too far. I…it’s slipping away, I’m…I’m stuck in the pause. In her memory. In her past.
    40. *outro* *old ringtone* JASMINE: H-hello? ???: Is this Jasmine Control? Can you hear me? JASMINE: Who…who is this? ???: A friend. You’re in my world now, and I’m going to help you get out.
  15. S2 Ep1
    1. ORANGE: It’s just as Green said: the stairway to heaven is always moving. I figured I was on the first step when I heard the cat in the diner.
    2. ORANGE: As I crested the overpass bend on the final leg of the drive, I saw a city blooming with rot. Squat brick piles wheezing into the streets, oily sunlight, cars bleeding rust into the earth. Plumes of gray hovered over the place, like cotton soaked with kerosene.
    3. ORANGE: Under billboards letting you know you’re fucked before you even get there: Hell is real, and it’s about 25 miles that way.
    4. ORANGE: GIRL MISSING. I got caught on the origin of the word, germanic, maybe dutch. Gone, disappeared, vanished, typically without a trace. To be absent. In absentia. Guilt without a face, death without a body. Holes in the ground, gaps in memory.
    5. ORANGE: High above, rising over the fire escape and ascending into the sick bruised sky, I saw two glowing spheres. The kid’s breath vanished and so did I. Once again back at my kitchen table, soggy milk carton in my hand.
    6. ASH: I used to work for the Department, as well. Assigned name Ash Chorus, stationed with the Dead Letter Office, then the…the division of Fictobiology. I’ve been sort of…telling your story for you, as strange as that sounds.
    7. NARRATOR 1: In a sense, Olivia was right. But now was not the time to speak with the air. Her compatriots were growing concerned. OLIVIA: Fine, I’ll stop talking to the first fictional person I’ve ever heard. Normal world.
    8. OLIVIA: You can be Violet, Nadia, because you love purple and black. NADIA: I do. OLIVIA: And Scarlet for Alex, because. Hair. ALEX: Rude, fuck off. I dyed it for a reason, asshole. DARYLL, holding back a laugh: Nah, dude, it’s pure gold. OLIVIA: And you, uhhh… DARYLL: Fuckface.
    9. NARRATOR 1: Daryll threw the remaining beers into the backseat. Alex nestled the cans at her feet and covered them with a blanket. She fished in her pocket for the worst joint ever rolled and stuffed it in her sock.
    10. RANGER: Enjoy the eclipse, then. And watch out for rain. DARYLL: Oh, we will for sure! I hate getting wet, so… RANGER, puzzled: Huh. All righty then.
    11. ALEX: Cool, come on Nadia. Want to like…walk together or whatever? NARRATOR 1: Nadia had slipped on a pair of clunky headphones, nodding her head to some distorted guitars and guttural screams. A band of red spread across Alex’s nose and cheeks. ALEX: Chhh, whatever, dude.
    12. NADIA: I mean, it’s cool and all. I’m mostly here for the hangs, though.
    13. OLIVIA: The weather’s perfect for it. Clear sky, hot summer night. Where’d you get the telescope? I assume it’s not yours, Alex. ALEX: Dude, it’s your telescope. Are you sure we don’t need to take you to urgent care or something?
    14. OLIVIA, quietly: Stop overthinking and go sit with Nadia. ALEX: Oh, haHA, yeah, totally. Sorry, I was just thinking about…basketball.
    15. NARRATOR 1: She was sweating. But that was fine, right? It’s hot out, people sweat. And it’s not like she was sitting that close to Nadia. Oh god, was she sitting weirdly far away? Like she was trying to avoid Nadia? Alex took a deep breath and scooted a little closer.
    16. ALEX: It’s uber dark out here. DARYLL: Yeah dude, moon’s about to be gone-zo. ALEX: It’s time already? DARYLL: Dude, this space shit owns. I can see the craters through this thing.
    17. NARRATOR 1: The gloom that surrounded them did not relent, even long past when the shadow should have given way back to the gentle glow of reflected light. OLIVIA: It should be back by now. ALEX: Give it a sec. OLIVIA: And where are the constellations?
    18. NADIA: The sky’s like a black curtain. ALEX: Probably clouds. OLIVIA: No, it was clear when we got here. DARYLL: You think the moon’s broken? Hey, try taking it out, blowing in it, and putting it back in again.
    19. NADIA: It is weird, right? ALEX: Hey, uh, Olivia, check that telescope. Do you know what’s going on? You’re the space nerd, right? OLIVIA: There’s nothing there. NADIA: What do you mean, “nothing there?” ALEX: Well, it’s there we just can’t see it, right? *silence* ALEX: …right?
    20. ALEX: Finally! Hey, wait. What’s…why is there… DARYLL: That’s fucked up. NARRATOR 1: That these next few hours would be the worst of their lives. OLIVIA: O-oh my god. There’s…there’s another. There are two of them, just hanging in the sky. Two moons.
  16. S2Ep2
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Pub: 11 Apr 2023 18:03 UTC

Edit: 05 Dec 2024 22:08 UTC

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