Note from Dr. Epic Man: Sorry to screenreader users, but this page contains a few non-readable kaomojis! If that bothers you... Sorry! :-(
Hello there!
My name is Dr. Epic Man, but you may also call em John Seinfeld Thomas. That's my full name! You may use any pronouns for me, even though I don't really understand them. (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
Please excuse my English! I'm not American!
My career history as a S.C.P researcher:
I worked as a janitor in here for about four years or so. I applied here because my mom told me I needed to start working for money. Yup, even in the best of planets you have capitalism! Anyways— I applied, and I worked for HOURS in the facility, because I never seem to run out of energy! But then...
2004/05/07
I worked for hours at a time, as one of the anomalies accidentally spills coffee all over the place... And on the computer. I would've never expected to see it— Something so dangerous appearing on the screen... A VIRUS! No, not a normal virus or trojan, one that would jump out and attack the anomaly! I was surprised, but I couldn't let this happen, so I picked up my broom and shouted: "HEY, MEANIE! Get away from Mr. Snookuns NOW!" I pointed the broom at the virus, and it just laughed at me, letting go of the anomaly... I was so angry at it, something not expected from a citizen of Mother-420K, so I lunged at it, and tried to beat it with all my bravery and only my broom... And it exploded into pieces! EVERYTHING IN THE OFFICE WAS DESTROYED!!! (๑°ㅁ°๑)
...
I woke up in a bed, a medical bed... There sat my coworkers and other people that worked in the SCP foundation with me. I looked around, and saw something weird...
"... Why... Am I golden..?"
I asked them, but they just told me to not worry.
"What matters now is that you were BRAVE and saved us all!" Said Ms. R-Bowz...
"We're so proud of you!" Said another coworker...
I cried, I've never been so praised in my life!... I wailed out: "Thank you guys..." And I realized I wasn't talking like how I did, but did it matter now?
Suddenly, Mr. Oh So Five comes into the room, and offers me the job of being a researcher.
"...Y-You really think I'm worth the job?" I had stuttered out, and Mr. Oh So Five nods.
"You're always worth it, Mr. Seinfeld."
And everyone clapped!
Okay... Maybe I went a littleeeee overboard... Does it really matter? That was the happiest day of my life!
I don't have much else to talk about here, I don't want to over share with strangers about my job. So, I'll just do a QnA! Send me questions here: [REDACTED]
QUESTIONS AND ASKS!!!
Q: Are you Dr. Gears?
A: I can see the resemblance, but no! We're completely different from each other.
Q: How old are you?
A: I'm over 2 years old, that's for sure!
Q: Have you ever contained an anomaly?
A: I mean, I did help Dr. K contain one anomaly that was a kid once... But it's not my thing! ⎚⩊⎚
Q: How would you react in Planet Earth?
A: ああ…… It hurts... My tummy would slowly turn back into that pendant I used. Not a good feeling...
Q: Are you sick?
A: I'm old, but as healthy as ever! ˆ𐃷ˆ
Q: Where are you from?
A: I'm not quite sure, but I was raised in Japan!
That's it for my Dossier! Hope you like it!