You walk further and further into the woods. This all looks wrong, but you're certain this is where the palace is. Its where all the signs and maps point to.
Still, its been nothing but miles of snowy woods and dirt trail.
Just as you're about to give up, you see it, an intricately painted sign reading "Imperial Palace"
Behind it is a large, but decidedly shabby house
Closer inspection reveals the sign to be made of cardboard
The yard is surrounded by a picket fence which has been covered by cardboard painted to look like stone wall.
The "courtyard" itself has a number of paper lanterns strung up over it, they look like they've been rained on a few times
Inside is an older fox-like monster woman who's sweeping the porch
You ask her where the emperor is
"Oh, are you one of Shu's friends? I think he's in the garden shed playing emperor with his brother. Its the red building out back."
You follow the directions and come to a red building. Swinging doors have been painted to look like Asian style paper doors, but they're obviously wooden barn doors. Above the door is a cardboard sign reading "Throne Room"
You enter, inside is a room which has been dressed up to look very ornate
At the far side is a fox in a red robe sat in ornate wooden chair, next to him is a smaller fox wearin a halloween ninja costume, who's carrying a plastic spear
You approach them
"So, human, you seek an audience with the emperor of all monsters."
"Why?"
"Could it be that you wish to beg for your life. To grovel at my feet in the hopes that, amused by the pathetic display, I will take pity and grant you mercy."
"Or perhaps you even hope to offer yourself in eternal servitude to atone for the crimes of your forbears."
"Or mayhaps, you've come here not seeking to talk, but to fight. An assasin sent by the humans above to cut the head off the snake and end this conflict before it begins."
He chuckles
"Well regardless of your intentions, I am afraid you shall be sorely dissapointed."
"I am the indifferent to the affairs of you pathetic surface dwellers. I don't care in the slightest whether you live or die, and I have no intention of wasting my time killing you. Nor do I intend to tell my servants to waste their time hunting you when they could be attending more pressing matters."
You ask him nicely to please rescind the order to kill all humans, being sure to throw in many "great"s "mighty"s and other ego stoking terms for good measure
"I have given no such order."
You ask the mighty, grand, genius, and all around swell guy emperor why you kept hearing from the monsters that the king ordered them to kill you
His twists into a scowl at the word
"the 'king' " he says with added venom "they refer to is that cowardly PATHETIC usurper Asgore."
"He has claimed the throne, which has belonged to my family for eons, with farsical tales of a war with the humans and promises of revenge."
You ask the grand, supreme, amazing, astounding, and unfathomably based emperor what really happened then
"The truth, my oh so naive subject, is that monsters have always lived under the Earth. The angel formed us here and ordained my ancestor as its sole ruler by divine right."
"For eons we lived in peace and prosperity, ubothered by the affairs of lesser creatures such as yourself."
"My grandfather, the previous emperor, had ruled with kindness and wisdom for all his reign, but he made one fateful mistake."
"Thinking that all boss monsters must be as kind hearted and wise as himself, he trusted the strongest of them (aside from himself of course) ,Asgore, as his chief advisor and general of his armies."
"Under my grand father's nose he began a plot to establish a kingdom of his own. He gathered his most greedy and foolish warriors, and told them tales of untold riches, wealth, and beauty on the surface. He told them of verdant green forests and majestic sunrises."
"Ha! As if that horrid ball of fire could support anything besides a scorched and barren hellscape."
"Then he lead his army to the surface against the humans. The battle was short and easy. The primitive humans, being both intellectually and spiritually inferior, were no match for even the most pathetic monsters Asgore had gathered."
"Unfortunately, Asgore being the fool that he was, had not prepared for the worst threat the surface had to offer."
"When the sun rose, he and his forces were scorched nearly to death. The humans, as they always did during the day, merely burrowed into the dirt."
"Asgore, desperate to save himself, copied the humans, and hid himself under a pile of his dead comrades' dust, and called my grandfather for help. (on a cellphone, which my grandfather had invented. Humans only discovered the technology after thousands of years of reverse engineering the abandoned device)"
"My grandfather, being the kind hearted man that he was, had mercy on Asgore, and went out himself to rescue him."
"The sun was harsh, but with his superior strength he powered through and rescued Asgore, shielding him from the sun with his own body on the way back to the underground. Then used his magic to put a barrier around the underground, so no fools would ever again venture out into that sun scorched wasteland."
"Unfortunately, once they had arrived, my grandfather was severely weakened by the ordeal. Asgore saw his chance, and stabbed him in the back."
"Then he blamed the humans, claimed the throne for himself, and promised to avenge my grandfather's death by declaring war against the humans. Over the years Asgore would change the story until eventually he claimed that monsters had always lived on the surface and that he had always been king."
"My father, only a child at the time, was forced to go into hiding. He lived his life as a pauper, never being able to reveal his own heritage to anyone, not even his wife."
"Only on his death bed did he reveal it to me. And now I have returned to claim the throne which is rightfully mine."
You ask the emperor, which you've run out of titles to address him, why Asgore is still in charge
"Unfortunately, that coward refuses to face me. I've called him out again and again, yet he's too scared to ever leave his castle. Likely because he knows I would kill him."
"So for now I stay here, and wait for the Underground to recognize his cowardice. Once they do they will come to me and return their natural place beneath me."
"Yes, its only a matter of time." He smirks

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Pub: 10 Mar 2026 01:55 UTC

Edit: 11 Mar 2026 02:16 UTC

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