BACKDOOR
This is a booklet written by Akira related to the Memories Recollection Series “Crossroads”
I recommend watching the whole episodes of the anime first before reading the booklet translation to get a rough idea with the contents of it as well as reading the original story “Reminiscence*The Crossroads of Each One”
this is not proofread yet so there might be some mistakes or terms that I missed, apologies in advance! Notes are at the very end.
⟡⟡⟡
Infiltrate through the back door
I feel like a super cool outlaw from a movie. (outro)
Escape countless traps and kill enemies with guns, Bang! Bang! Bang!
Do you realize that? You idiots all over the world!
I am Koga Oogami…!
“..........”
Near the back door, a blond guy who looked like a part-timer was sorting out trash bags, he came in on his own and looked at me with a surprised look on his face.
“Ah~ You—”
Part Time-kun (tentative name) just makes an annoyed face and holds out his hand.
“One thousand yen. It’s the entrance fee”
“Ah, yes. Sorry”
“Next time, please enter through the proper entrance”
Part time-kun (tentative name) doesn't say anything more than that, but strangely hands me a fancy plastic card in exchange for the 1,000 yen bill. If you hold it up to the counter, you can get a drink or something like that. Very kind.
“Have a fun time~♪”
At this point, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to go home, but I pulled myself together and headed back inside the store, keeping my eyes on part time-kun (tentative) — who left through the back door.
This is a cheap underground live house in the downtown area, near Yumenosaki Academy, where I would later attend.
This is my temple.
My God is here.
✽✽✽
The underground live house I’ve been staying in lately has a slightly strange structure. In the back alley in a normal downtown area, there are stairs that lead underground. When you get down there, there is a passageway extending to the left and right, and there are many soundproof doors lined up.
Most of these rooms are small rooms (booths) rented by amateur bands to practice, and if you look through the window, you’ll find them often empty, probably not often used.
Well, these days, people don’t practice playing the guitar by actually holding an instrument because it hurts their fingers. Lately, I do things like that at home, like staring at my computer.
I don’t know though.
At the end of that lonely hallway, I tried to break into the employees’ waiting room and the front door that I was unlucky enough to find.
The front door, or back door, leads to the ground and there’s usually no one there, so I played guitar because I didn’t have enough money to buy an introductory guitar book, I sneaked in from there and saved an entrance fee.
“Next time, I won’t be able to use the same move.”
I grumble as I walk slowly down the aisle until I reach the soundproof door I was looking for.
The biggest and most luxurious door in the middle of the hallway.
At the back of the store is the center of it, a live house or a music hall.
“♪~♪~♪”
When I opened the heavy door, a mass of sound hit my whole body. This is this. I feel tingly.
There is a fairly large stage in the back of the fairly large space, and a band that has applied to the store performs there.
Customers pay an entrance fee that also serves as a drink fee, and enjoy the performance while enjoying the additional drinks and food they have.
I’m a minor, so naturally I listen to music while listening to non-alcoholic tomato juice.
Maybe it’s because this place is close to Yumenosaki. Most of the customers are students who look somewhat shabby. Even though I was young, I wouldn’t be considered a guest at a live house on the street. It’s also my plain clothes. Perhaps the store is considerate of its customers, as there is almost no smell of alcohol or cigarettes.
Only super cool music is floating around.
It’s echoing.
“~.....♪”
My God is singing passionately in the middle of the stage.
Most of the lyrics are in English, so I can’t understand them all. Maybe you wish for world peace, or on the contrary, pray to God. Maybe they’re singing about something complicated but meaningful.
Later, when I asked the singer, he said “I’m so happy that my cute little brother has recovered from a cold!”
I heard it was something like that. Idiot. I was an idiot for being captivated.
At that time, I didn’t know anything about that, but I was moved.
On stage, illuminated by a dimmed spotlight, the pale skin of a corpse stood out in the background — that person.
Red eyes like hellfire.
Black hair that blends with the darkness.
What comes out from his lips, which was more bewitching than any attractive older sister, is a manly and deep voice.
He looks like an angel who would save the world, or even a devil would destroy. Anyway, that person’s singing voice had the power to easily change the world.
“~.....♪”
The name of that person I respect the most in the world is Rei Sakuma.
My God.
✽✽✽
I was born and raised in an ordinary environment.
A so-called middle class family. My father is an office worker with a decent annual income. My mother was a household wife, which is rather rare these days. They bought a decent house on decent land and lived there. Both of my parents loved children and were caring, so I grew up being treated with respect.
I’m aware that I was spoiled, I grew up being a selfish and arrogant brat.
But, I was given everything I wanted.
I was given something before I even thought about it, I didn't know what I really wanted. When I grew up and reached the age where I didn't need to be taken care of anymore, my parents had gotten a dog to satisfy their overflowing (?) desire to take care of me.
His name is Leon. Best dog.
I also loved him like a cat (even though he was a dog), but his parents weren’t as good as me. Day after day, he showed me a doting attitude that made me think that he probably did the same thing to me when I was a baby or toddler.
I was bored.
I could see that my parents' attention had clearly shifted from me to Leon.
Leon isn't bad. He was brought here to be loved.
This dog was born for that purpose. Has a pedigree, and is meant to be loved.
He really is a good boy, when I feel lonely, he comes up to me and licks me. I’m not lonely.
I’m not alone.
But, I feel that the love I had been given so far had clearly been diminishing, and I began to feel anxious.
—Ah, how pathetic, you spoiled Koga Ogami!
But I’m not shameless enough to say, “Look at me, not the dog!” and I thought that Leon being loved was just as important as me being loved, and so I wandered around town in search of someone who would love me.
I was hungry and thirsty.
It was like an abandoned dog wandering around looking for food.
My parents’ aren't bad. Leon isn't bad either. Maybe I'm not bad either. Compulsory education is now over. I’m old enough to eat and live on my own.
So of course. I did that, and lived on my own. I’m sure other guys would do that too.
We escape from the protection of our parents, overcome adolescence, and become our own person.
After repeating the stupid trial and error over and over again, I found it…
The person I met was Rei Sakuma.
That person’s music soothed my parched soul.
✽✽✽
When the performance ends, Rei Sakuma disappears behind the stage.
I’ve never been on stage, so I don’t really know how it works. There’s probably a passageway in the back that leads to the waiting room or something. The inside of the underground live house was strangely dark and the view was bad, so Rei Sakuma really looked like he disappeared like a ghost.
The things that nourish me and fill me, disappear.
So I, again, get anxious and search everywhere for no reason.
I wandered around the store, pushing my way through the crowd of people who had gathered to see Rei Sakuma.
—Rei Sakuma. Rei Sakuma. Rei Sakuma.
My soul was searching for that person.
Of course, I’m not his family or anything, let alone friends. We don’t even know each other.
That person doesn’t know me.
I’m still glad. I found him, met him, and fell in love with him, admired him, and was fulfilled. I was thankful for that. Rei Sakuma definitely saved me. [1]
I had no intention of asking for more than that. I’m one of those fanatics who was swept in this store and I never thought I would be able to reach the place where that person was as different from me as the night sky.
Far away, that’s what I really mean. That alone is enough for me, almost too much.
I’m glad I admired him from afar.
And yet.
“Oh, you’re drinking something that looks delicious.”
Suddenly, someone took my glass of tomato juice, which I ordered on a whim but found it strangely sweet and disgusting.
—What is this bastard? You’re not going to try it you son of a bitch. That’s mine.
Then I looked up from my waist, and Rei Sakuma was there.
“If you’re not going to drink it, then give it to me. I got thirsty after singing.”
Not only can you reach him with your hands, but you can almost say it’s close to touching.
Naturally for starters, I was so surprised by the impossible that I couldn't even react in a start way and felt stupid.
I froze with my mouth open.
“Oh, what’s wrong? Maybe you’re at an age where indirect kisses are embarrassing…?”
Rei Sakuma felt a bit sorry.
He had that stupid look on his face and was saying stupid things.
“No, sorry…. It’s okay, I’ll take responsibility for taking away a boy’s first time. Yeah?”
That wasn’t much. It was the first conversation between me and that person, I couldn't brag about it to anyone.
Ever since then, even now, I’ve constantly been swayed by that reckless person.
✽✽✽
Step through the back door.
Today, the blonde haired clerk seemed unmotivated and was looking at his smartphone — he was actually the manager of this store. To make matters worse, the guy’s name is Hakaze, who seemed be my senior in Yumenosaki, glancing at me while looking in his smartphone with a strange look on his face.
“Look, look. I got the new girl’s contact info. I’m currently texting her for the first time.”
“So annoying, I don’t know. Don’t talk to me, flirty guy.”
About two years have passed since my first encounter with Rei Sakuma-senpai, a person I don't want to remember much about.
I became a little taller and bolder.
I practiced so hard that my guitar and singing skills reached a slightly better level.
While I was growing constantly, Yumenosaki was becoming a mess. Yumenosaki Academy is an idol training school steeped in history and tradition.
Inside, it was rotten.
I wanted to be like Sakuma-senpai. So I followed the same path without thinking and took the entrance exam, and I was a fool. I couldn't see anything. I didn't understand anything. The students of Yumenosaki are full of shit. Well, I went to this underground livehouse to see Sakumsa-senpai.
It was only natural that I would have noticed it while I was frequently there.
A rotten miniature garden where people with dead eyes spend their gloomy youth filled with the smell of death.
Sakuma-senpai seemed strangely lively even in that kind of environment, but I was wrong.
No, I’m an idiot.
I was immature and didn't see anything.
Sakuma-senpai had the same dead eyes.
Among the pile of corpses, that person was the only one who couldn't die even though he wanted to, and was just praying something interesting would happen to him.
No one could save that person.
The bespectacled monk from the temple was angered and tried to make him into something other than a human — something more.
Even the foolish stray dog that was wandering around was just wagging its tail happily when it was fed.
We were just thinking about that person who was always smiling happily, but in reality was suffering more than anyone else.
I didn’t realize he was crying out for help.
I mean, that guy looked like he was having fun.
When he was on stage with me and shitty glasses, when we were called “Deadmanz” or whatever the name of the band was, we were, I guess, seriously happy and alive.
But. That was a short dream that only lasted for a moment.
The dream ends, the spell is broken, and the person turns back into a corpse.
Revolutionize the rotten Yumenosaki. The people who were pretending to be on the side of justice claimed Sakuma-senpai as evil and vanquished.
The monster was defeated and all is well.
It’s true. It’s creepy to see when a corpse moves.
It’s no use unless you get rid of the creepy monsters.
— You damn bastards!
“Wan-chan, are you going to sing again today too?”
The casual man asked me, looking uninterested as he continued to play on his smartphone. He told me not to talk to him.
“I wish they would stop doing this because it makes the atmosphere bad. Look, you’re being seen as Sakuma-san’s henchmen, so just because the villain’s minions are evil, you are being persecuted by everyone.”
“I don’t care. I… I.”
I growl, uttering the frivolous first person term that Sakuma-senpai uses sometimes. [2]
I hold on to what that person left behind, even just a little.”
“I’ll do my best. I just want to sing my heart out. The other guys have nothing to do with it.”
“It’s going to be a problem for the store. The customers will make fun of you and Sakuma-san, you’ll lose your temper, and start a huge fight —I really don’t want that to happen”
“Don’t cause any trouble at the store, please behave.”
“Really? Just because you’re afraid to get into trouble with the other customers — Yumenosaki’s students, you also go through the back door to avoid trouble, right?”
“You’re paying for rent, right?”
“Why would you go to the trouble of crossing such a dangerous bridge to play at my store? How annoying.”
The flirty guy grumbled, but he took out his keys with a familiar look and threw it at me.
“Alright. I’ll lend you a room, so change into your costume and prepare. If you promise to not cause any trouble, Wan-chan be our new breadwinner.”
“Actually, I wanted to cheer you on.” The flirty guy flippantly said and laughed. His attitude disgusted me, so I bit back.
“Don’t call me Wan-chan”
“Sakuma-san used to call you “wanko” and when I say “wan” I mean it by “Number One” really.”
With a straight face, he waved his hands as if to hide his embarrassment.
“Be like Sakuma-san and be the number one earner at my store”
“You don’t have to tell me that.”
I will become the best man in this world, just like Sakuma-senpai. Get the crowd excited just by singing. Make women faint by just a glance. Just by looking him in the eye and talking to him, he can beat down even the toughest of men.
It captures the soul in an instant and captivates everyone.
I too will become a man like Rei Sakuma. The road is still a long way.
“Let’s go. Tonight too.”
Open the door, jump into the small room (booth), and change into my costume.
I take out my guitar, my buddy who’s as important as my parents and Leon.
After doing everything and getting ready, I head to the stage.
Face to face.
“Tremble. Come on you idiots! I’m going to teach you what real music is! I sing. Play the guitar.
Just like the Rei Sakuma from the past.
Now I pray that someday I can be just like that person, even if it’s just an imitation.
Wherever you are now. I hope to reach the person who doesn't know where they are.
✽✽✽
Once upon a time, I was starving and thirsty.
Wherever I encountered Rei Sakuma and his music, my soul was nourished.
— Now it’s my turn.
“Rock n’ Roll…!”
Come, all you idiots of the world.
I’ll let you hear my music.
I’ll be your god.
Notes:
[1] the word used here is “suki” (好き) which is used to express a lighter way of affection rather than “love” itself, it's in a "like" way or being fond.
[2] he means “oresama” (俺様) which is what Rei uses while Koga normally used “ore” (俺) instead. The following text with italics means he used oresama.
Translated by @art_heroholic on Twitter