18 Girls Get Real About Masturbating
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“I can't be the only one who does it, right?” Definitely not.
By Hannah Orenstein Updated: Jan 13, 2023
Design by Yoora Kim // Getty Images
We’re here to talk all about masturbation — there, we said it. The topic might feel taboo and you might be embarrassed to talk about it with your friends, but exploring your sexuality is totally normal. Masturbating is a healthy way to learn about yourself and your body, and helps you feel more comfortable when you’re ready to have a sexual partner. (And hey, it’s fun and feels good, too.)
If you think you’re the only one of your friends who has masturbated, you’re most likely not. According to a 2020 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, about 50 percent of women aged 18 to 24 years reported masturbating at some point in the year. Separate research from Planned Parenthood found that more than 5 out of 10 adult women masturbate. So whether you explore solo sex and self-pleasure with your hand or vibrator, it’s perfectly natural and super common.
Here, 18 girls open up about masturbating and all the complicated feelings (pleasure, empowerment, happiness, and embarrassment) that go along with it.
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- “I was 13 or 14 when I masturbated for the first time. I was watching TV — I think it was Modern Family — and they brought up masturbation. I had no idea at that time what it even meant, but handy ol' Google quickly filled me in. I masturbated for the first time shortly after that. It was awkward at first. I tried the whole shower head thing to see what all the hype was about, but it didn’t work for me. I probably masturbate twice a week now. I come from a very religious family, so I thought it was something to be ashamed of. Now, it’s completely different. A girl’s got needs.” —Spencer, 17
- “I was 15 years old when it first happened. Up until a few months prior, I was COMPLETELY embarrassed about masturbation. Each time I did it, I was ashamed that it happened and wished that it didn’t. I knew this feeling would occur afterwards, but I always did it anyways. However, now that I’m entering college and defining who I am, I am realizing that it isn’t something I should be ashamed of. I can’t be the only one who does it, right? The feminist in me has given me the ability to feel empowered and in control of myself and what I want each time it happens.” —Malia, 18
- “I use my hand, read sexy stories, and fantasize about past experiences. I masturbate quite frequently actually — at least four times a week. I’m an open book when it comes to literally anything else, but when it comes to masturbation, I’d never admit to doing it. Honestly, typing, or even saying the words ‘I masturbate,’ feels so foreign and taboo. I’m not ashamed of doing it, I’m just super secretive about it." —Noelle, 17
- “I started experimenting with masturbation last year. I was a little nervous about it, but when I attempted it, I felt a little pleasure and wasn’t so turned off by the idea anymore. I usually do it before I go to bed so I fall asleep better. At first, I used a pillow to masturbate and just recently switched to doing it myself. There’s so many good things that come from having an orgasm so why wouldn’t you? You’ve got to learn what you like and figure yourself out before someone else can.” —Annaka, 17
- “I started when I was 17. I had my first orgasm, and after that, it became something I had to do every night. I just tend to use clitoral stimulation because it’s foolproof for me and it’s what I am most comfortable with at the moment.” —Jackie, 19
- “I was 19 years old and had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship. One day when I was sad, my best friend/roommate said I need to lock myself in my room, explore my body and love myself. Ever since, I’ve been very open to masturbating and truthfully regret not pleasuring myself sooner. Since then, I would say I regularly masturbate maybe three times a week, whenever I have free time in my bed really. I use my hand and read stories from time to time. It’s empowered me to take control of my body and dictate when and how I experience pleasure. In a society that prioritizes men’s sexual pleasure over women’s, I take pride in knowing that I love myself and deserve all the pleasure I want and enjoy.” —Avery, 22
Related Story - “The first time I can remember masturbating was in my early teens, maybe 13 or 14. I think it was to a fan fiction. It was pretty clumsy, and I recall being more embarrassed and worried that someone would walk in on me than focused on pleasure. Now, it makes me feel happy and satisfied. It’s nice to be able to take pleasure into your own hands. literally.” —Megan, 19
- “I usually masturbate once a day. I have to have visuals. It’s hard for me to just imagine stuff. I’m not embarrassed that I masturbate