fateful reuinion.
visiting kaname.
makao checked his phone again, sending yet another text that wouldn't go through. it was frustrating. no matter how much he tried to reach out to HiMERU, he kept being pushed away. he understood HiMERU's frustration, yet it just seemed.. childish? ah, maybe that wasn't the right term. whatever.
he sighed and pulled up the maps app, checking the nearby hospitals. only one resided near reimei, so makao grabbed his coat and phone. he scrawled out a note and left it on his desk for someone, presumably keito, to find.
he texted his brother too, just assuring him all was well and he was going to visit someone in the area. no need to burden tatsumi with things he barely knew and understood.
he got on the train, putting in his headphones and playing some instrumentals he was thinking of using for SYUDOPHOBiA's new songs. it was quite late, he didn't need anything blaring in his ears. it was also quite empty for 11pm, meaning he could get a seat and relax, just a little.
arriving at his stop, makao got off the train and headed to the hospital. as he entered, he froze for a second. that head of blue hair. golden eyes that pierced through him. shit.
"...kazehaya."
a single word uttered, and yet it seemed to shatter makao's resolve completely. he nodded, standing next to HiMERU awkwardly.
"i came to see kaname.." makao mumbled, looking at his feet. as he awaited HiMERU's answer, it dawned on him how little he had actually thought about his plan. he can't just walk up to the office and ask to see kaname tojo, can he? there was no way non-relatives were allowed to see him anyway. god, this was a stupid plan-
"..okay." now that was unexpected. makao looked up at HiMERU, his eyes now filled with a sense of determination.
"really-?" he asked, noticing how HiMERU had barely paid him any mind. he finally had his opportunity to repent, to apologise. he gripped the rosary in his pocket tightly, the reassurance it was still there somehow calming him more than anything else.
HiMERU said nothing, just nodding. makao bowed in thanks again, then turned back to HiMERU just as he saw his contact being unblocked. maybe HiMERU had the heart to be sweet, then. if he wanted.
"i'm going to his room. come on, won't you?" although presented in a question, it was an obvious command. 'come with me, or go home.' makao followed behind him anxiously. he had never really pictured this moment to be like this, or to happen at all. HiMERU had become far too stubborn.
makao's breath caught in his throat as he saw kaname's husk in the bed. pale white skin against pale white sheets in a pale white room, his only distinguishable feature being the same blue hair his brother had. it was painful. several machines were linked up to him and makao's heart hurt for him.
this truly was his brother's actions.
HiMERU skulked around the bed, closing the blinds and then running a hand through kaname's hair. makao watched awkwardly, still gripping the rosary. HiMERU brought the chair beside kaname's bed closer, and began to mutter to him.
from what makao heard, it was just about HiMERU's day. and then he heard his brother's name. and then his name. and then his name again. he listened a bit more this time.
"the saint's brother wanted to see you again, you know." HiMERU muttered, looking over at makao. "i'm not sure what he wants, but listen to him well."
he stood up and allowed makao to stand by kaname's bed.
makao wasn't sure what he wanted to do; he could whisper his apologies all he wanted, but that wouldn't change anything, would it? he sank to his knees, clasping the rosary in his hand as he began to confess.
HiMERU listened as makao began speaking, and his eyes widened as he realised what he was doing. confessing such sins for repentance was selfish.
makao hadn't even done anything. he was ill the day kaname was beaten, fending for himself in the infirmary. and yet, here he was, repenting for the sins of kazehaya tatsumi. it was all ironic, really, considering how much HiMERU caused this desire to repent.
a kazehaya in name and in blood and yet different in practice was somehow unfathomable to HiMERU until it was laid raw in front of him like this. he sighed, listening a little more to makao speak. his voice was.. rather relaxing.
for a kazehaya, at least.
"amen." makao muttered, standing up and pocketing the rosary again. he looked over at HiMERU, and they left the room together. the energy between them had changed slightly. it seemed HiMERU had gained more respect for makao, in a manner.
they walked back in a somewhat comfortable silence, but there was still something that weighed heavily on them. they took the train back, and makao stopped as they entered starmony dorms.
HiMERU stopped in turn, looking down at makao with a gaze that burnt through him easily. he shrunk away slightly, holding out an ebony rosary to HiMERU. not the same one he used to repent to kaname, he noticed.
makao swallowed thickly, still holding out the rosary as he spoke.
"...this is for you, HiMERU. i.. wanted to give you something for when you feel the same as i do." he looked into HiMERU's eyes, gold meeting violet, and HiMERU sighed. he took the rosary from makao and pocketed it wordlessly, and then took his hand, kissing his knuckles and holding it there as he began speaking.
"i believe the person i should repent to then, is you.." HiMERU kissed makao's knuckles again. unbeknownst to the other, they both clasped the rosaries within their pockets, staring each other in the eyes.
he began muttering his sins, gripping the rosary tighter.
"i believed you were the same as your brother, that you would bring harm to kaname." he sighed, kissing his knuckles again. makao relaxed, his gaze softening. this was a side to HiMERU that he'd never see again.
HiMERU continued whispering, and makao listened to it all. once he finished speaking, makao simply punctuated it all with an 'amen'.
HiMERU let go of his hand, yet continued to hold the rosary like it would slip from between his fingers if he ever let go.
"goodnight, HiMERU. thank you." makao nodded, walking back to his dorm. HiMERU watched him dissapear, and only then did he let go of the rosary.
maybe he had more of a favour for makao than he believed initially.