The FlygonHG Steven Letter lore because I hyperfocused on trying to figure out what was up with them and needed to put it somewhere
i used proper capitalization and puncutation in this to make it fit please know that i dont actually type like this
"why would you do this" i dont even know man dont ask me. i knew id end up spending over an hour on this and still went for it
hope any fans and nonfans alike enjoy reading through whatever-the-fuck-this-is
Our Table of Contents
- Flygon Only
- Water Types Only
- Enemy Always Crits
- Psychic Types Only
4a. Renegade Platinum Pinned - Renegade Platinum 2
5a. Poliwag III's Apology - Inverted Match-Ups
- Inclement Emerald
- 400 Base Stat or Lower
Letter #1 - Flygon Only in Emerald
Hi Steven,
Your mother left me for a Nosepass that she met while travelling abroad. I saw pictures, and honestly, I don't even blame her. Look at me. I'm a hollow shell of my former self. My company is in ruins. The board is asking for my resignation. I've lost so much money and I don't even know how. Maybe it has something to do with the fact I keep giving away our state of the art devices to every ten year old that comes into my office. You'd be surprised by how many ten years olds come into my office...
I miss you son. Please visit me soon. I had to refinance the house to fund enough money for my last ditch idea on how to save this company. I call it Pokemon Sleep. It monitors your sleep and rewards you for good sleeping habits! All I have to do is convince consumers to completely consent to us monitoring all of their personal biodata 24/7! Two of the board members, Beff Jezos and Zark Muckerberg, have some ideas for what to do with all that data! Anyway, talk soon. Have fun sitting in a cave all by yourself. I'm sure that's more important than spending time with your dying father! Oh, yeah, I just had a doctor's appointment. Turns out I'm dying. There's no inheritance.
Love,
Daddy J
Devon Corporation CEO
Letter #2 - Water Types Only in Emerald
My dearest Steven,
I am writing you this letter to inform you that my marriage to your mother, Nosepass, is ending. We simply do not love each other anymore. She will never admit it, but I know it is because I asked her to give up her dreams and be a stay-at-home mother for your half-brother Nosey. Nosey is such a special child. It is not easy being half-human, half-Nosepass. Watching him, I see the look on his face as he struggles with the complexity of human emotions while also being subjected to the basic desire to always be pointing North. It is heart-breaking and I know it has burdened your mother greatly. I fear she has no more energy left to love our marriage.
I know you've never truly accepted my wife as your mother. You called our marriage sick, disturbing, a gross violation of morality and ethics. But I know you love Nosey. So, Steven, my boy, I must ask that you come home. Come home and be a supportive big brother to Nosey as we finalize the divorce. He will need you now more than ever. I know you will do the right thing.
Love,
Daddy Stone
Letter #3 - Enemy Always Crits in Emerald
My dearest Steven,
I know that my previous letters have been ignored, but I am once again asking you to come home. I don't care how many identical small boys I have to hire to get it done.
Being a single father to Nosey, your half-human, half-Nosepass brother, is more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I fought so hard for full custody that I never stopped to think about what would happen if I won. For all her faults, your step-mother was a good mother to Nosey.
I needed a break from Nosey. For the last few weeks, I sent him to Camp Rock so that he could learn about different types of rocks. I figured it would be good for him to learn about his heritage now that his mother is no longer here to teach him. But it turns out that Camp Rock isn't about rocks, it's actually a camp for aspiring musicians. I know what you're thinking. Is this bit really culminating in a reference to the 2008 Matthew Diamond directed DCOM starring Demi Lovato? I guess so. I fear Nosey is more confused that ever. He needs his big brother. Please come home.
Love,
Daddy Stone
Letter #4 - Psychic Types Only in Omega Ruby & Renegade Platinum (Attempt 1)
My dearest Steven,
I am once again writing to you in regards to your half-human, half-Nosepass brother, Nosey. He is unwell. Though he has recovered from his time at the confusingly named Camp Rock, he now does not seem to be adapting well to our new three dimensional reality. It appears to be troubling him deeply. I must admit, I too am perplexed by the sudden shift to three dimensional existance. Why are our heads so much bigger than our bodies? My neck is sore all the time. But I still have a company to run. It keeps me busy and I try not to think about it too much.
Unfortunately, Nosey has no such distractions. He wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, his small stubby Nosepass arms flailing from his fully human torso. It's an upsetting sight, as a parent, but also as a person with eyes. He needs you, Steven. You are his center. When you are home, Nosey is happy. Please be the older brother he deserves. We miss you.
Love,
Daddy Stone
4a. Flygon's Pinned Comment On Renegade Platinum
It has come to my attention that at 10:26 in this video, Steven received the wrong letter from Daddy Stone. This appears to be a postal service error, where the latest letter was replaced with a previous letter. Daddy Stone would never intentionally send the same letter twice. I am currently working with the SPS to retrieve the letter, and I will append it to part 2 of the Renegade Platinum series. Thank you for your patience while we resolve this issue.
Letter #5 - Renegade Platinum (Attempt 2)
Steven,
What the actual f$%k, Steven?! Why are you in mother-freaking Sinnoh?! I have spent thousands of dollars and risked the lives of dozens of child messengers begging you to come home, and instead of listening to your sweet loving father, you move to Sinnoh? SINNOH?! OF ALL PLACES?? You know that's where my ex-wife and Nosey's mother went. You know that she's partying in Mt. Coronet with all those Probopass. Are you doing this to hurt me? It's the only possible reason I can think of for you to go to Sinnoh. Are you even aware of how little watter they have there? It's basically a damn desert. Sinnoh? More like "Sin-not-enough-water." For the love of Arceus, please come home.
I've been reasonable. But this has gone on long enough. If you don't come home, I won't just send one small child messenger at a time. I'll send TWO. Do you know how much more annoying two children are? That's right, they're twice as annoying. Checkmate, Steven. See you soon.
Love,
Daddy Stone
5a. Post Master Poliwag III's Apology Letter
Dear Steven Stone,
We have come to learn that the wrong letter was delivered to you last week. This was caused by an error with the tracking system used by the Sinnoh Postal Service. There have been mail disruptions for the last several weeks as a result of the vigorous Nosepass mating season. The yearly consumation of hundreds of thousans of horny Nosepass often causes electronic issues and has even been known to create magnetic fields that disrupt many weary travelers, causing them to get their directions mixed up temporarily, no matter how smart they are. The SPS would like to humbly apologize for this egrigous error. The correct letter is enclosed.
– Post Master Poliwag III
Letter #6 - Inverted Type Match-Ups in Emerald
Dear Steven,
I'm at an all time low. The divorce papers came in and it looks like your step-mother and I will be officially separated in the eyes of the law by the time you get this letter. I know it's been a long time coming and I shouldn't be surprised. But a small part of me thought that we'd make it through this. A small part of me thought that she just needed to blow off some steam. That's why I paid for her flight out to Sinnoh. So that she could explore other relationships and find out that what we had was special. But I guess I was wrong.
What do those Probopass have that I don't? Is it really worth throwing away everything we had? Worth walking away from her son? I'm so alone. All I have for comfort is Nosey's hugs. But he sucks at hugs. Because he's half Nosepass. It's like hugging a giant rock with flailing human limbs. Pretty creepy actually.
I know you won't return home, and I respect that. But I'm your Dad. So, I'll keep sending child postmen to let you know that I love you.
Love,
Daddy Stone
Letter #7 - Inclement Emerald
Steven,
You may not have noticed, but it's been some time since I last wrote to you. I started therapy and my therapist helped me realize that this relationship is a two-way street and that I am putting far more energy into it than you are. I know I have not been the best father, but I've tried my best and at every mistake, I've apologized. I don't think there's much else I can do except accept that we have grown far apart. In a way, I suppose that's what every father wants; to see their son become independent. Still, Dr. Pass taught me to give you the distance you so need, which has made me a happier and healthier man. I've started dating again! She's a wonderful woman. Brilliant, sturdy, small stubby arms, and she's even a doctor! Maybe someday you can meet her. She already knows so much about you.
Anyways, I write mainly to tell you that Nosey, your half-human, half-Nosepass brother, is graduating from Trainer's School. I have no idea how we are going to navigate the ethical chaos of him being a full-fledged trainer, but I'm sure it will be fine. If you'd like to attend the ceremony, there will be a seat with your name on it.
Love,
Daddy Stone
Letter #8 - 400 Base Stat or Lower Only in Emerald
Steven,
I'm writing to tell you that I'm in love! As you are aware, I swore off dating after your step-mother left me and Nosey to go live her life. I never thought that I'd love again, and I had become content with that, instead seeking happiness by watching Nosey grow into a wonderful young man/Nosepass. That was enough for me in my old age and I was oddly at peace with my romantic solitude.
But love seems to happen when you least expect, doesn't it? After all, I never expected to fall in love with Nosey's mother, or yours for that matter. And as I began my therapy sessions with Dr. Pass, I never thought that it'd lead to finding my soulmate. But here we are. I've fallen for a brilliant woman with a heart as warm as her mind is sharp!
I know what you're thinking. I can imagine your judgement. But since we started dating, I have found another therapist, and Dr. Pass - Or Diddly - as her friends call her, is just my girlfriend. I hope someday, you get to meet her. Be well, son.
Love,
Daddy Stone