even if you miss the last train, come visit me, darling, i love you!

hi darling ^_^ happy 1 month anniversary <3 (november 25 2023) :3

i'm so, so so so so so SO SO SO happy we're together :)
you mean a whole lot to me and to be quite honest i can't imagine you being not in my life.
i can't really put into words how much happiness i get just from talking to you,
and i feel like if i drag this on it might get a little obsessive and clingy.
so i'm going to keep it short.
thank you for being there for me.
thank you for being my friend in march.

i remember i wanted to kill myself so badly, and i believed there was no other way out.
my life was pretty much at rock bottom at that point.
i remember i told you how i was feeling despite barely knowing you,
and you told me something ive never forgotten.
you said,
"i'm going to stay with you until you decide to go."

of course, maybe that's not exactly what you said.
maybe you said something else.
maybe you didn't mean it?
maybe i'm mistaken.
but you definitely said something, something that made me wanna push forward.
i stayed one week, then two, then three, and pretty soon i entered april.
i stayed until may, then june, july, and we never stopped being friends.

i remember liking you for the first time, pretty early.
at first, it wasn't even really romantic, more like, "wow, my friend is cool."
i thought it was romantic, but at the time, it wasn't really.

i think i liked you towards early summer.

and i don't regret it, either.

you've helped me in so many ways, darling.

you keep me on this earth.

it makes me so happy to talk to you.

i'd replay every single moment with you if i could, from the moment we met to now.

thank you for being my friend, darling.
thank you for being by my side.
thank you for spending time with me, and talking to me, and helping me out.

and i know sometimes i can be a bitch
and i know sometimes i make you worry
and i know sometimes i say things i don't mean
i accuse you of lying
and cheating
i know sometimes i can be too obsessive
and i beg for attention and manipulate you
but i don't mean it, honest
i know i'm not the best person, but i want to get better
i'm trying to get better
and i promise i'll always try to be my best for you

and darling?

i know sometimes life can be, well, a bitch
shit sucks
and you feel like you can't do anything
and you wanna die
but darling?

i love you.

that's probably not helpful, and i'm not much, but
i love you
and i don't want you to be in pain
or for you to hurt
or for you to feel alone and helpless
i'm here
i can listen
i'll take it for you
that's what lovers do
we share the pain together
you don't have to feel like a mistake
because it's not a mistake with me
you're beautiful in my eyes
and if you only have 1 person in the world who trusts you,
then it's definitely me
i'm here in any way,
but i'm only here if you let me

so darling?
please tell me if there's something
i could be doing better
or if there's something
you want me to know
or even if you don't have anything to talk about,
that's okay too
we can just
hang out and be together

i guess what i'm trying to say is,
i want to repay the favors you've done for me
and i want you to feel loved
i hope you feel loved
i love you
thank you for everything
happy 1 month
let's hope for more in the next year

darling?
i know you don't do resolutions
or wishes
or anything of the sort
but
this year
i'll make one for both of us
i hope that
we can both
be together and happy for a long time
maybe the entire year?
perhaps to valentines day?
maybe even forever!
who knows, darling?

i guess i can't tell the future
but i can tell the present.
and i know that right now, i love you.
and i don't think anything could drastically change my mind

if we ever meet up soon, i'm going to
shower you with hugs in the airport
and give you so many cuddles and snuggles
and just make you feel loved
that's a promise, darling :)

i love uuuuu !!!!! <3<3<3

i might be a psychopath, but please love me! i only love you

song is "psychopath girl" by pmaru-sama :3
header is ako udagawa from bandori

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Pub: 27 Dec 2023 22:09 UTC
Views: 222