home? starring ; hitari.
15/02/25

as usual, it was still dark when hitari awoke. the first rays of the morning sun had not yet touched the world outside her window, and the soft rustling of the trees in the wind whispered the quietness of early hours. unlike she remembered, tentten was not laying next to her where she was the night before. she raised her arms and stretched, her body still heavy with sleep, but something kept her awake. a strange emptiness filled the air around her, as if the day itself had yet to fully begin.

she glanced at the clock. it was 5:30am. most people would still be asleep, but not hitari. she had always woken up early, finding peace in the solitude before the world erupted into noise. she slipped out of bed, pulling on her classic thick jumper, and quietly padded out of her room.

it was the silence that unsettled her. in the quiet of the morning, she usually heard tenttens soft sleep-talking from wherever she would've walked to and collapsed when half asleep. her girlfriend, had been staying with her for years now. their relationship was comfortable, although volatile, rooted in shared laughter and long talks about everything and nothing. tentten always woke up after sunrise, although she was so loud, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference without being in a room with her.

but today, there was no sound.

hitari stopped outside the guest room, her brow furrowing. this was her main place for sleepwalking, so she knocked lightly on the door. "tentten?" she called softly, but there was no answer. she knocked again, this time a little louder. still nothing. her unease grew. hitari knew that tentten was a heavy sleeper, but she'd just had a bad feeling.

pushing open the door, hitari stepped inside. the room was exactly as it always was—neat, with a small desk covered in papers, and a cozy armchair by the window, but there was no tentten. she wasn’t passed out in the chair, nor was she lying across the bed, fast asleep as she would be at this time in the morning. she sat on the bed, absorbing the current possibilities, before an overwhelming sense of agitation and anxiety overpowered her. where is she? where? where? where could she have gone? had she finally grown tired of the maltreatment and misuse of her trust? had she finally mustered up the courage to.. run?

"no. she fucking wouldn't. shes terrified of me. she wouldn't. she'd never. fucking get yourself together."

she sat with her head cradled in her hands for a minute and composed herself, before quickly checking the bathroom. empty.

panic began to coil in her chest. maybe tentten had gone out, she thought, but no—hitari would have heard the door. tentten was always careful about the little things, and she never left without leaving a note, a trace, something. but there was nothing.

hitari hurried down the stairs, calling tenttens name, her voice growing more frantic. she searched every room of the house, calling out, her voice bouncing off the walls like a hollow echo, to nothing.

she anxiously laughed, "okay tentten, you can come out now." nothing. her mind begin to run in circles, as she perched herself on their sofa, staring at the place tentten would usually sit. had something happened? was it possible that she left in the middle of the night? she hadn't.. said anything? no argument, no confrontation.
"they always say something. always. she didn't even seem like she was close to breaking." she attempts to bring some explanation for herself in hopes for a little break from the panic level that continued to rise, but none of them make any sense. "oh my god. oh my fucking god. she wouldn't do this to me. i know she wouldn't. would she? she wouldn't. she loves me. she loves me. i know she loves me."

she stepped outside, the cool morning air brushing against her skin. she called for tentten again, this time louder, but the only response was the soft rustling of the trees and the distant chirping of birds.

by noon, hitari had searched everywhere—inside the house, the garden, the forest behind, their usual walking paths, and down the street. she spoke to their neighbors, asking if they'd seen her 'daughter' tentten, but none of them had. some offered kind words of reassurance, but none had answers.

days passed, and still, she was nowhere to be found. hitari called all of her friends to help her with the search, but they found no trace. they asked around the neighbourhood, but nothing. no one had seen her leave the house. no one had heard from her. noone had seen her sitting on the swings at the park or going for a walk around a field nearby, tentten had simply vanished, as if the world had swallowed her whole.

hitari couldn’t stop thinking about it. she replayed every moment in her mind, trying to find some clue, some explanation. was it something she had said? could she have done something too harsh? said something that made her feel too worthless? but to her questions there were no answers, only the gnawing silence of their empty house and the absence of her girlfriend.

weeks turned into months. life moved on, but hitari remained trapped in the mystery of tenttens disappearance. she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes scanning the room they had once shared. the walls, painted in soft blues and warm greens, still held the faint echo of laughter. the smell of lavender—the scent tentten always used in her shampoo—lingered in the air. it was like tentten had never truly left, yet hitari couldn’t escape the harsh reality that she was gone.

the house felt too large now, as though it had swallowed her whole. Every corner held memories, each one slicing deeper into hitaris heart. tenttens favorite mug still sat on the kitchen counter, chipped and well-worn from years of use. hitari couldn’t bring herself to move it. it was as if doing so would be like erasing her.

she just vanished. no notes, no calls, just an empty room, a cracked window left ajar, and a silence that felt like a scream. hitari had waited—waited for an explanation, for answers, for some sign that tentten would come back. she hadn’t. and now, every day, the house felt like a prison.

"i have never loved someone so much in my life. god what is wrong with me. where is she i.. fucking need her." tears began to well up in her eyes. she stood up and attempted to compose herself, but all she could see was her things. her stuffies on the shelf, her clothes folded, collecting dust.

"you fucking bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch i fucking hate you i hate you" she punched the wall repeatedly, sobbing harder with each punch.

hitari didn’t go outside anymore. she couldn’t. the world beyond the walls of their home felt too loud, too full of people who didn’t know the depth of her loss. she couldn’t tell them how it felt to wake up in the same bed where tenttens laughter once filled the air - couldn’t explain how it hurt to eat meals at the same table where tentten’s voice used to ask her about her day, ask how work had been, ask if she was missed.

"maybe she’s just gone on a trip," hitari would tell herself, though the idea felt increasingly ridiculous. tentten would never just leave. they had plans. they were supposed to grow old together in this house.

but every night, as hitari lay in bed, she would hear the soft creak of the floorboards in the hallway—tentten’s footsteps, slow and deliberate, as if she was still walking around the house. sometimes, when she closed her eyes, hitari could almost hear her whispering her name. she would wake in a cold sweat, convinced that if she just reached out, she would the warmth of tenttens skin, laying cuddled up in front of her, and it never was.

she didn’t know when it started, the feeling of her mind slipping away, but it was gradual. it began with forgetting simple things, like whether she’d brushed her teeth or not, or the date. soon, whole days blurred together. She would wake up and feel like she’d been asleep for a lifetime. the house, though familiar, felt foreign now. every picture frame was a reminder of the girl who no longer existed, and every object in the room seemed to carry the weight of a past hitari wasn’t sure how to hold onto.

she spent hours sitting in the dark, staring at tentten’s favorite books lined neatly on the shelf, unable to bring herself to touch them. the idea of reading them felt wrong, as if doing so would erase the part of tentten that was still here. in every corner of the house, hitari saw her.

"she’s gone," hitari whispered to herself one evening, her voice hoarse. she hadn’t said those words aloud before, hadn’t been able to bring herself to admit the truth. it felt like betrayal. but deep down, she knew the truth now. tentten was gone. there were no clues, no letters, no signs—only a quiet, aching emptiness.

yet the house refused to let go. the smell of lavender still clung to the sheets, the shadows in the hallway still held the shape of tenttens presence. and hitari, lost in the echo of what once was, wondered if she could ever escape it. could she leave the house? could she find a new place, somewhere without the memories? the thought made her feel even more desperate. the house was all she had left of tentten, and if she walked away, would she be walking away from everything they had built? she didn't want to do that. where would she even go?

she stood up suddenly, her hands shaking as she walked into the living room. she reached for tenttens old guitar, the one that had been left leaning against the wall, untouched for months. it was the guitar tentten had played every evening, strumming softly while hitari cooked or read. the sound had always filled the air with a kind of peace, a sense of togetherness.

hitari ran her fingers over the strings, her eyes closing as she tried to remember the warmth of tentten’s hands, the way she smiled when she played.

“i miss you,” hitari whispered, her voice breaking. “i miss you so much. im so cold now tentten, i don't know what to do. every room i walk in feels so much colder then it used to.”

however, no matter how much she whispered, no matter how much she begged the walls to speak to her, tentten never answered.

the house grew colder, darker, and the silence felt more suffocating with each passing day. hitari found herself standing at the window sometimes, staring at the world outside, wondering if anyone could understand. If anyone could see the woman slowly unraveling inside the house she couldn’t bear to leave.

Edit

Pub: 11 Jun 2024 22:49 UTC

Edit: 22 Feb 2025 17:35 UTC

Views: 55