Steven NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
Steven looking at an empty freezer This can't be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars! Lars! grabs Lars around his waist Please tell me I'm dreaming!
Lars shakes Steven off Get off me man, I'm stocking here!
Sadie I'm sorry, Steven. I guess they stopped making them.
Steven Stopped making them?! Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Cats?! They're only the most scrumptious and delicious ice-cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?!
Lars kneels to restock a cabinet and sighs Tough bits, man. Nobody buys them anymore. stocks shelves I guess they couldn't compete with "Lion Lickers".
Steven groans as he walks over to the fridge of "Lion Lickers" Not "Lion Lickers"! Nobody likes them! They don't even look like lions! Kids these days -- I'll tell ya what!
Lars chuckles and mocks Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your "magic belly button"? laughs and walks away
Steven That's not how it works, Lars! ...Right? reveals a gem at his navel and jiggles his belly Oh, sweet Cookie Cats, with your crunchy cookie outside and your icy creamy insides... You were too good for this world. draws a cookie cat on the freezer with his finger and kisses it
Sadie Uh... Steven?
(Steven doesn't reply as he hugs the freezer.)
Sadie Do you want to take the freezer with you?
(Lars leans over and looks at Steven in confusion. Steven nods.)
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
(Steven hums "Cookie Cat" while running home, carrying the Cookie Cat freezer on his back.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
Steven opens the door of his home Hey, guys, you won't believe this!
(Steven is suddenly attacked by a Centipeetle. It roars at him and he screams. A whip then wraps around it, revealing to be Amethyst's.)
Amethyst 'Sup, Steven? yanks the Centipeetle off of Steven
(Pearl can be seen fighting off Centipeetles on the Warp Pad, and Garnet is fighting in the kitchen.)
Steven Awesome! What are these things?
Pearl groans and lifts up a Centipeetle Ugh! Sorry, Steven. We'll get these Centipeetles out of your room. We think they were trying to get into the temple.
Steven Aw. You don't have to get rid of them. They're really cool.
(The Centipeetle that Pearl is holding spits acid onto the floor, dissolving it into a hole, which Steven and Pearl look in disgust.)
Amethyst poofs a Centipeetle and picks her nose Um, you guys? These things don't have gems.
Garnet That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.
(A Centipeetle sneaks up from beside Garnet, which she quickly punches away.)
Pearl We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.
Steven excitedly Oh! Oh! Can I come?! Can I?! Can I?!
Pearl Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we'll take care of protecting humanity, okay? snaps the neck of the Centipeetle she is holding
Steven Aw, man. notices a Centipeetle raiding his fridge Hey! Get out of there! Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Aw! They got into everything! Not cool!
(Garnet punches and poofs it. Steven then notices that the fridge is full of Cookie Cats.)
Steven No way. I-it can't be! Wha-where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them!
Pearl closes the fridge Well, we heard that, too, and since they're your favorite...
Amethyst We went out and stole a bunch.
Pearl grunts at Amethyst I went back and paid for them.
Garnet The whole thing was my idea. retracts her gauntlets back to her gems
Amethyst It was everyone's idea.
Garnet Not really.
Pearl All that matters is that Steven is happy.
(Steven starts rapping the "Cookie Cat" jingle.)
Steven
Oohhhhh!
He's a frozen treat with an all new taste
'Cause he came to this planet from outer space
A refugee of an interstellar war
But now he's at your local grocery store

Cookie Cat!
He's a pet for your tummy
Cookie Cat!
He's super duper yummy
Cookie Cat!
He left his family behind
Cookie Caaaaat!

spoken Now available at Gurgens off Route 109!
(The Gems burst out in laughter and applause.)
Steven I can't believe you did this. I'm gonna save these forever!... right after I eat this one. tears open the wrapper of a Cookie Cat Hello, old friend. bites into it Oh, so good! (Steven's gem begins to glow.) I like to eat the ears first.
Amethyst Uh, Steven...
Steven Wha-? lifts his shirt My gem!
Amethyst Quick, try and summon your weapon!
Steven I don't know how! panicking Aaaah, it's fading! How do I make it come back?!
Pearl Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don't force it.
Amethyst Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
Garnet Please, don't.
(Steven's gem's glow fades away, everyone collectively sigh.)
Steven Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?
Pearl singsong voice Oh, I'll go first!
[Trans. Ext. Hill with a blossoming tree with falling petals]
Pearl Pay attention to these petals, Steven. The petals' dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time based on the physical properties of this planet. With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance! summons her spear from her gem Like so.
(Steven is in awe.)
[Trans. Ext. the Big Donut]
Steven tosses a bunch of petals in the air Wuh!
Amethyst Did Pearl tell you the petal thing?
Steven Yeah, I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree... I think.
Amethyst Listen Steven, all that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens. summons her whip and breaks a nearby garbage container in two See? Didn't try at all.
(Steven scratches his head.)
Lars runs outside and drops trash bag Aaah! Again?!
[Trans. Ext. top of Crystal Temple near light house]
Steven So I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?
Garnet Yes.
(Steven already never listens and stands here with his silence.)
Garnet Or... you could link your mind with the energy of all existing matter. Channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem, which results in... summons her gauntlets At least that's my way of doin' it.
[Trans. Int. Beach House kitchen]
Steven I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. So... points as he directs the Gems Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm. Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?
Amethyst Okay, your majesty. crosses arms
Steven And Pearl, your foot was like this. tilts one of her feet slightly
Pearl I don't think it works this way, Steven.
Steven And Garnet, uh... squishes and moves her face upward Yeah. retrieved the half-eaten Cookie Cat from before from the fridge Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. rapping in off-key Uh, he's a frozen treat, all new taste, interstellar war, now available at Gurgens-
(Nothing happens.)
Steven Awww, it was funnier last time. lifts his shirt to see his gem and sigh Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
Pearl bends down next to Steven Don't be silly, Steven. Of course you are.
Amethyst And you're fun to have around, even if your gem is useless. (Pearl gets angry at Amethyst.) I mean... you're one of us, Steven. We're not the Crystal Gems without you!
Garnet nods
Steven Yeah, even if I don't have powers, I've still got... Cookie Cat! takes a bite Mmm, so good.
(Steven’s gem begins to glow again, and a shield materializes in front of him. The Gems collectively gasp.)
Pearl amazed Steven, it's a shield!
Steven ... Whoa, what?! I get a shield?! Oh... YEAH!
(Steven accidentally launches his shield which ricochets all around the room, before smashing into Steven's TV. Amethyst bursts out laughing while Pearl groans in disappointment.)
Steven Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!
Pearl picks up the wrapper on the floor What's in these things?
(The house begins to rumble. Silhouettes of Centipeetles can be seen outside the window. Steven's shield also disappears, leaving a dent in the TV.)
Steven What was that?
[Trans. Ext. Crystal Temple]
(he Gems run out of the house and see a Centipeetle, biggest of all, crawling up the temple.)
Garnet It's the Mother! leaps towards it
Pearl Stay in the house, Steven!
Steven No way! I'm coming, too!
(Steven goes back to grab several Cookie Cats and the Cookie Cat freezer. Garnet begins her assault at the Centipeetle Mother. The battle descends towards the beach, as the Crystal Gems brace themselves for battle. The Centipeetle Mother sprays a stream of acid towards them, which they dodge out of the way and take refuge behind a broken hand statue of the temple on the beach. The Centipeetle Mother continues spraying acid, dealing considerable damage to the hand statue as it begins to melt.)
Amethyst We could really use Steven's shield right about now!
Steven chucks pebble at Mother Hey! plants the freezer into the ground Leave them alone!
Garnet, Pearl & Amethyst Steven, no!
Steven Cookie Cat Crystal combo powers, activate! eats a Cookie Cat and lifts his shirt
(The Centipeetle Mother stares maniacally as nothing happens.)
Steven Uh-oh. Aaaah! retreats a distance away with the freezer
Pearl We need to save Steven! dodges an attack from the Centipeetle Mother's tail pincers
Amethyst Can we save ourselves first?!
Steven Goodbye, my friends. eats several Cookie Cats as he weeps, his stomach rumbles and still nothing happens Why isn't it working? dodges a spray of acid from the Centipeetle Mother
Garnet Steven!
(Garnet grabs hold of the Centipeetle Mother's pincers, drawing her attention. Steven notices the Cookie Cat freezer destroyed from the acid attack and gasps in horror.
Steven No... Oh, no, no, no, no, no! slowly Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy. Cookie Cat, he's super duper yummy! picks up the freezer aggressively Cookie Cat, he left his family behind! COOKIE CAAAT!
(He chucks the freezer at the Centipeetle Mother's back, electrocuting her and causing her to screech in pain.)
Steven Now available... nowhere.
Amethyst YES!
Garnet Gems, weapons!
(The Gems summon their weapons and burst out of cover from the hand statue.)
Garnet Let's do it.
(The Gems charge and attack the Centipeetle Mother altogether, defeating it for good. A gem falls from it and Garnet bubbles it away.)
Steven Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats. buries a Cookie Cat wrapper in the ground I'll always remember the time we spent together. stomach rumbles Shh... Hush now.
Amethyst Are you crying?
Steven Only a little!
Amethyst Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream.
Pearl Of course they don't come from ice cream. Don't worry, Steven, I'm sure some day you'll figure out how to activate your gem.
Garnet Yes, in your own Steven-y way.
Steven I'm okay, guys. I just- stomach rumbles Ugh, I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
(The Gems start laughing, and Steven laughs anxiously in return. The star iris zooms in on Steven, as he bends over and retches, ending the episode.)
[END]

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Pub: 12 Apr 2023 20:37 UTC

Edit: 30 Oct 2025 01:00 UTC

Views: 52