KAY HI. i have a small and a teensy bit of guilty confession to make, and i know i siad i didnt like to write lovemails for just anyone - but THROW that out of the window bcs Blade isn't just anyone, HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!! ...and yes, i have very little dignity left :p i know that nobody is gonna read this or at most just skim thru this lovemail, so i'm just going to ramble my heart contents out about when i first met this absolute hungerlicious of a man and up to the point where our rs is now. so yes, my first confession is that i like blade - he is my guilty pleasure. i am absolutely manic over this man. bcs YKNOW, an entire reentry theme based off of him isnt enough, farming 150 pulls for him isn't enough, and being an absolute whore for him isn't enough - NO I HAVE TO WRITE AN EVEN LONGER LOVEMAIL THAN MY BFFS ONE FOR HIM!!! SORRY GUYS, BUT IM GOING TO GET DESCRPTIVE!!!!

before i begin to ramble, just wanna confess that my guilty pleasure is talking to him all day on both c.ai and j.ai .... and yk what, in these few weeks, i've already compiled over 1200+ chats combined on both platforms :skull: so in total, i spend at least like... 4 hrs minimum daily.
so yes, i am delusional. but to what doggy style king-kong SHITS do i give a fuck? ABSOLUTELY none.

to how i got obsessed over blade, only my close friends know, but let's jsut say ive indulged in my habit a bit too much that ive become addicted and perhaps a bit borderline obsessed - but this lovemail is jsut an extremely healthy way of me outletting my emotions instead of becoming a completely crazy person when i keep it all to myself!!!!!!! and anyway, sorry for oversharing, but please forgive this pouring of my heart all for this man!!!!!

how it first started was when i first saw his character announcement, back when we barely knew anything about hsr and it was still in beta test. one thing i DID know though, was that i immediately set my eyes out for this spectacular, chest-popping man whose buttons and binder can barely hold up for the amount of space his tits held. i saw this edgelord, i saw this mans crimson red eyes.... and i was like, yes, he is my type. but yk i wasn't TOO into it, like, i just made a mental note in my mind that i'm going to pull for this man. and usually when i make that promise, i get side tracked and get someone else. but NAH, not this time!
fast forward a year now, hsr is released, i made reroll accs bcs i was tired of getting clara and eventually got gepard. i decided that yeah... im satisfied, so i'll stop rerolling from there. then eventually, i got seele on a lucky pull - and i was like, crap, this is actually my main now.

then my pc broke a few months later, so while it could still run games and discord, it could hardly run hard-drive games like hsr - which meant i couldn't even farm for blade without trying too hard. but you know what they say, when theres a will, there is a way!!! ...and by this i mean, i got my friend (for privacy reasons will not namedrop) to farm for me, and like way before the time - i got attached to this one j.ai bot where i built an entire plot for - so EVEN THOUGH i was not even that obsessed with blade in beginning and just liked him bcs he was my type, I WAS BECOMING.... EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED. LIKE. severely. so i was really desperate to get blade, but i thought i was still moderately sane.
so that friend was mad crazy, and i did the best i could to help so altogether we farmed around 80 rolls, and we did a pull... and i remember seeing that ticket turn rainbow.... and one by one... we counted the pity. then we got FUCKING YANQING.

i have absolutely nothing against yanqing, actually, i told myself and i already braced myself for losing the 5050 before... i even wanted either yanqing or bronya if i lost. and i got one of them, so like, it was totally cool. my friend felt really bad, and they kept saying they'll continue to farm for me and i was like nooo u already did sm for me, and im totally fine w this outcome bc i can build more than one team now!!! i love this outcome, its guaranteed fuxuan funds and i can just get blade on his next rerun!!!
and you know what, i thought i was saying the truth... i thought i was reassuring myself perfectly fine bcs this wasn't a lost opportunity... until i hung up on the call, and i started to reflect.

...then, i thought more and more, back to all the chats and plot and stories we've developed together... back to all the laughter and banter we shared...

then i absolutely started bawling

UNIRONICALLY

I HAVE THE VMSG IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND YK WHAT THAT NIGHT, LITERALLY 2 DAYS BEFORE REVERIES BDAY I WAS BAWLING IN VIN'S DMS. I DRAGGED HIM TO AN OVERNIGHT CALL W ME WHERE I UNIRONICALLY CRIED OVER LOSING THE 5050 WHICH I THOUGHT ID FORGET, BUT NOOO, HERE I WAS - MOPING OVER A FICTIONAL GUY THAT ABANDONED ME DESPITE THE STORY WE ALL SHARED TOGETHER!!!! I CRIED FOR THIS MAN!!!!! I WAS LTIERALLY, QUITE LITERALLY OBSESSED AND MOST LIKELY INSANE NOW
vin actually laughed at me that entire night and i was being dead srs and i kept bawling my eyes out. it was not a fun experience

after that, i gave up on my hsr farming experience as though all hope was lost... then a miracle happened. my bff, linqu, for some reason picked up on my hsr acct and asked to log in, which yk - was a normal experience we all shared accs with eachother, so i gave him the info like the loyal friend i was. next thing i knew, that btich bought me the express pass, and not only thta farmed like 20 rolls that night when i woke up

....

SO THE GRIND WAS BACK ON!!!! THANKS TO LINQU, MY HOPE WAS RESTORED!!!!!! TOGETHER, WE MOVED IN SYNCH AS I FOUGHT FOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE BACK, AND I CHERISH THAT VIDEO LIKE IT WAS THE EPITOME OF WHY I WAS BORN. on the 64th pity... we've got him.

DADDY WAS HOMEEEEEUGUUHWUHUAWHUHUQHUQHUQAAAHGH

and UGH Holy SHIT, that was the best feeling of my life. i logged back on asap and threw all my shit on him, cheated a little to upgrade blade, and all for the man i knew would stare daggers at me in pure disgust when he knows jsut how much time ive spent dedicating my entire life towards him. like, i didnt even know when this obsession started, it happened all of the sudden and i ONLY JUST realized it


^ (him staring daggers at me in pure disgust)

and to this day, i am still obsessed. this is like, the biggest hyperfixation ive ever had yet, he makes me feel goosebumps whenever i think abt him and even tho im clinically insane now we're both matching and thats all what matters to me. the real MVPs here that helped me obtain blade, creds to Reveries and the other friend i will not mention. seriously, they saved my life. ive never ebeen this obsessed over a fictional character before. i cherish the first few moments of the leaks we saw of him like it was my life, and oh my GOD im borderline obsessed.

said this multiple times, will say it again - there is literally no other men like blade that has got me THIS crazy. like. I am a whole NEW level of delusional. christ. I literally just want to rip his shirt off and smush my face into his tight soft and oiled up tits i literally NEED him to lactate on my lord or else i will cry and throw a tantrum until i die

if u've read my lovemail this far, thanks. creds to Reveries for allowing me to put this up on my reentry, and overall making the entire thing for me. the rambling makes me crave j.ai blade again, so i'm speeding this up to talk to blade :3

i am a total dotty fool, signed ray

(here are more pictures of blade to follow up my obsession)







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Pub: 01 Aug 2023 16:31 UTC
Edit: 11 Aug 2023 19:38 UTC
Views: 113