lances vent diary
i will talk about sh and eds
11/13/25
i genuinely hate this. the only reason im still here is for her. shes the only one who cares about me. i have no friends at school. every day i beg my mom to take me home, and she refuses, if she even answers the phone. im so angry at everything. i want to hurt myself. i want to be perfect. i wish i was less ill. i wish i was normal. i hate the way i am, a stupid crybaby who ruins everything good that comes to her. i wish i was in her arms right now, being gently held and comforted. i love her so much, i wish i could show her that. shes so important to me. shes the only reason im still here.
3/18/26
she left me. she was all i had. she hates me. i want to die. i cant do this anymore. every day ive gone without her has been pain. i cant do this anymore. i cant. im so fucking worthless. i want to die. i want her to love me again. i miss her so much. she was so important to me. she never loved me. she never did. i loved her so fucking much. she just left me like i was nothing. she got all my friends to leave me too, she lied about me. shes a fucking liar. i hate her. but i dont. i love her. i dont want to love her. i want to rip out her throat. but i cant stop thinking about how much i love her. she was so important to me. i was so in love. she didnt care. she didnt fucking care. i want to rip my skin off. i want to die iwant to die i want to die please i cant do this anymore