Handyperson
This is a transcript from a video made by Dr. Simon Glass in January 5th 2023.
S.G: Hello world! My name is Simon Glass. You may refer to me as Dr. Glass.
Today, I decided to be a helper of the 'You Just Need A Hug' organization. Although I'm specialized in human-leaning psychology, I wanted to try something new.
Simon picks up a book, identified as the 'Psychonomalology: How The Brain Of The Anomalous Isn't Much Different From Ours [EXTENDED]' book. He shows it to the camera.
S.G: Jonas had given me this book— Which is definitely not fifty-five pages long— But helped me a lot with understanding the anomalous mind.
The scene cuts, and it comes back five seconds after. In the new scene, Simon is now standing in a large counseling room, placing down the camera.
S.G: So, uh, we're here. Since I started recently, I'll not be doing the more complex stuff. Instead, I will be just talking to some anomalies about their day or such.
Simon picks up a paper and starts reading it.
S.G: So... First patient is... "Marilyn Cooper", also known as SCP-1111-VC.
Simon Glass pauses for a bit.
S.G: ...Well, that explains the humongous place we've got here. Hah, get it? Cuz she's long...
Simon Glass pauses again.
S.G: That probably sounded bad. Anyways... I'll just go tell the guys to bring her in.
The scene cuts again. It comes back to Simon turning the camera on and sitting back down on his designed chair. Marilyn is laid in her chair, her long body making twists and turns as she is trying to get comfortable. An off-screen person offers her a tablet designed for AAC and she picks it up with four of her hands. Simon picks up a sheet of papers and a pen, proceeding to speak.
S.G: Hello, Marilyn.
M.C: HELLO DOCTOR.
S.G: How are you feeling today?
M.C: I FEEL GREAT.
S.G: That's awesome-
M.C: MY MISSION FEELS BAD.
S.G: ...Excuse me?
M.C: VIS A VIS-MISSION.
S.G: Ah. Vision. What happened?
Marilyn pauses, looking at her AAC. She seems to be struggling with the lack of everyday words her tablet has.
M.C: I FEEL SAD. TEAR IS BLURRY. FRIEND IS NOT HERE.
S.G: Your friends are not here? In what way?
M.C: HE IS IN FLOOR-LEAD-A. IN MISSION.
S.G: In Florida? That's not too far from here. You can't communicate with him?
M.C: HE IS FLOOR-DEAD-A.
S.G: ...Oh my.
Simon pauses, looking a bit worried.
S.G: ...Accidents always happen, Marilyn, we can't control those-
M.C: HE WAS A MOBILE TASK FORCE MEMBER. HE WAS THE BEST.
S.G: ...Have you ever tried getting distracted from all the stress? Maybe you should try to find something that makes you happy in your tunnel.
Marilyn's eyes were tearing up.
M.C: I AM SAD. HE WAS THE ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME.
S.G: ...Do you want water? Or something to eat? We can take a break if you want...
M.C: I DON'T NEED AMNESTICS. I WILL BE REDACTED AWAY.
S.G: ...Alright... Ending it off here. It was nice to talk to you, Miss Cooper.
Marilyn crawls away, cupping her face in her hands. Simon motions for the off-screen person from earlier to come into the scene, with their face still unseen.
S.G: Did you people seriously force her into this session?
?: Just tell me the results.
S.G: ...Subject is seemingly stressed due to the loss of a close friend or so. I suggest giving her some time, and if her behavior worsens, give her antidepressants. Poor girl...
The scene cuts again. Simon is standing in front of the camera again, holding another paper.
S.G: So, that was... Strange. But worse has happened before. Nevertheless, we have another subject to go through.
Simon starts reading the paper.
S.G: ...Oh duck. The next subject is... Lawrence D'Goody. Also known as "SCP-106". First day and I'm already being forced to go through challenges I was forced to go through back in my M.T.F days... Ugh. Well, I can't really do anything about it. Let's get this started...
A cut happens, and Simon is again sitting in the chair. He is bouncing his leg and seems nervous. Suddenly, a puddle of corrosive liquid apears in the couch in front of Simon, and Lawrence emerges from it in a sitting position.
L.D'G: What's good, eh?
S.G: ...Hey... Larry.
L.D'G: Ah. Simon. I ain't seen ya in twenty years... Really shows how time passes by, hm?
S.G: ..How was your day?
L.D'G: Hmm... Le's see... Tortured a few of your ol' pals in my lil trenches... Breached outta here wit' my hubby... Fucked him in a park... Took a pet bunny home... Star-
S.G: ...You're bragging about getting a bunny.
L.D'G: ...They're cute! Cuter than yer gooses!
S.G: They're ducks. And you didn't answer my question.
L.D'G: Welp, Hah... Let's just say, I feel better than that gal ya brought in earlier.
S.G: Her name's-
L.D'G: Marilyn. What? Ya think I can't know sum other anomalies in other dimensions? Hah!
Lawrence pauses.
L.D'G: Ay, jus' tell yer buddies to not mess with 'er for a few weeks, alrigh'? She ain't in the mood.
Lawrence pauses again, thinking of something to say, but his thoughts are interrupted by Simon.
S.G: Great to hear that you're making new friends that you're able to care about.
L.D'G: ...It's a rare instance, yeah. No need to rub it in my face...
S.G: I'm not rubbing it in your face! You don't need to be embarrassed over it. I'm just pointing out how nice it is that you're not just staying with Subject 913 all day.
L.D'G: ACK! He has a name, ya dickhead! And it's [REDACTED] D'Goody!
S.G: Mr. Hungry, yes.
L.D'G: ...You can go fuck yourself.
Lawrence slides back into the corrosive puddle, disappearing out of the room. The unknown person comes back into the scene, but it cuts immediately.
It comes back to Simon standing in his office, smiling to the camera.
S.G: So, that was pretty weird. Uh, this was all the work I was given. So... See you guys soon!
Note: He is not dead.