ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
Destiny whispers to the warrior,
“You can’t fight against the storm.”
The warrior whispers back, “I am the storm.”
ㅤ
0111x1x1 01110x000 01100101 01100001 01101011 011x1001 0x1011x 01100111 0x100000 01101001 01101110 001x0000 01110110 0x1100001 0110x001 01101110 00101100
ㅤ
###### An Entry, 1 (The past can never part)ㅤㅤ0520
And yet, such a simple question went throughout my head. What exactly does it mean to be a person? A question, so simple, had made my whole life tumble for unsophisticated validation. It is nothing, but everything to me. It is what ruptured my whole system, one that drove me into insanity—because who really am I?
Then they might ask: Why?
I never had an answer. Not of which they understood.
###### An Entry, 2ㅤㅤ0608
May truth be told, fleeting avid had gone through thick sludge. I do not know how nor when this façade went through my hands, unknowingly it had, confusing one reality to another. Had it been me? Is it you? I thought I've never sink back to thoughts, if were this body of mine resulted to who?
Did it grow consciousness? Then what? What's this all for? Have I always been nothing but a back door? It didn't matter anymore, if life were something like this then—fine. It was always like this anyway, hidden beneath all unkempt distractions, who a person feels. I feel. But Is it deserving of me? No.
No! Who gave anyone a right to do that? Was it society? That these emotions were free to roam? Is it a false sense of security for something, that makes us different from one another? Why? Why couldn't we all be the same? It is mildly annoying to feel as if people were like emotions: temporary, numb, spiteful and fierce, all for it to shape as something else but so identical. There's no point in conversing if all it does is to feel more. That was wrong too, as emotions driven you into it, but is it really?
I know I couldn't be, partially, be satisfied with who I am because everything is within my grasp and yet I let it go. There is no such thing as forever for everyone is to die, a dive to the nothingness and the dead feels no emotion as people who lives will feel otherwise. Everyone lives with hope, to look for something after and that stirs a feeling to atleast know what caused this. It all goes back to feeling.
That's wrong too. I couldn't... I want to... I want to understand.
There wasn't any reason why I wrote this. What am I even doing? I don't know. Distractions are needed but I can't always run away, it always goes to one thing. That's childish, that is too childish. Why am I still talking?
Why? Why am I still talking? Is it the sense of relief I'm looking for? For validation I want to feel that maybe I am not at fault for everything? That's funny.
I feel like going insane, It's to be expected. I have never suffered anything and this must be my demise for being so privileged; I couldn't be true, it couldn't be. Wasn't that the reason I'm trying to fulfil my role for? To help everyone? It seems like I'm not doing enough, only causing more burden for emotions I shouldn't have—Maybe, just maybe if I weren't so privileged, maybe I could understand them.
##### An Entry, 3ㅤㅤ0609
It had been hours since I've stepped through; The reality I've been dreading. Everything will be lost if this were to keep up, really what was the point of anything once you've taken it? A means to an end. That's what that is, isn't it? Oh, but, you were angry at the world because you didn't get it. You didn't get that, have that.
So petty. They told me I couldn't understand. I know. You could've left me to die or continued it, I only bring burden and it seems all I do deserve how I feel. Maybe that's why I'm here? To pay my debts for a dead person because I let him live. He left and I took over, the position he should be in but instead I was there—he died instead of me.
Yeah, it is my fault
There was no rights to begin with, it is expected to fulfil that duty and excel in what they expected of it. It's not doing well, to think acquiring friends is so difficult, I'm not sure how people can commence with ease and that company is good enough for a lifelong friendship. How do they acquire company? How do they share feelings without revolting thoughts? To break free of that duty? How do they have friends without any thoughts that once they know, they'll leave? That this very burden, now an ability for what it caused, never failed to make people leave because of it?
##### An Entry , 4ㅤㅤ0610
##### An Entry , 5ㅤㅤ0714
There are things that can't be saved. There's no point in talking if this is end. Maybe I should've done something, maybe this is what it is, the undeniable fate. It's not like they would've cared anyway.
I always find it hard to believe people actually cared, could it be I never knew because I've been blinded? I don't know. That thinking sounds pathetic and honestly, when have I been smart?
##### An Entry , 5ㅤㅤ0715
I am so selfish, then again what's a good person if they won't respect another person's view? Haven't I always strive to become one? Who am I kidding. This sentient consciousness deserves nothing but punishment, for a life it has taken.
-
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ
ㅤ