i love you sososoo much, im so glad i can talk to you, even on days where things are quiet between us. ill always yearn for your messages, your voice messages, pictures, our hangouts. its such a shock to me that you've been able to put up with my shit for over a year, weither that be my episodes, my stupid shit, etc. you've been my rock in my darkest times, my source of light.
you're the first person ever to actually properly communicate with me and talk to me, showing me such amount of love, patience and care even during all of my attempts to push you away during my episodes. even with my fears, you've shown that i could trust you with my life, even when i was terrified of you leaving me. i love that im able to talk things out with you, even if sometimes you need to pry me open for me to open up. you've been the sweetest boyfriend i could ask for, the sole one who actually made me feel cared for and always made my heart race with a singular picture or voice message.
i wanna hold you close to me, i know that i can trust and talk to you when i need. i dont know where i'd be without you, i think i'd be lost into the world. im forever glad i was able to accept that invitation to join the server, despite all the drama that was roped into with it. i wanna take care of you when we're older, live together <3 i dont think i'd ever be able to express how much i love you, how thankful i am for you. i wanna shout out into the world how much i love and yearn for you, forever and ever <3
i get so excited to see your messages, even if i dont reply to them instantly, ill always check them, save the pictures you send of yourself. i love yapping to you and i love listening to you yap about your interests. i wanna get lost in your eyes forever, just to simply gaze at you. i get butterflies whenever i think of you, even if im in class or even when we text
i love you so much. you're my husband, you're the best i could ever ask for and i cherish you so badly. you have a spot in my heart that nobody could take, my heart yearns for you. our souls are sewn together with the unability to untangle/unsew <3 you're everything i could ask for. im so inlove with you and im so glad you entered my life. my days became so much more bright ever since i've met you.
time passes by like a blur with you. i love you so much it hurts. i know that i can be truly myself with you, even if sometimes i get scared that i'm disgusting for it - you still treat me with care, telling me that you still love me and that you're also an open book alongside me. you've stood by me no matter what happened, even when i tried to convince both you and myself that all my progress was nothing and didnt mean much. you stood firm while telling me that it was a lot, and it just warms my heart how much you love me and how much of a hater you can be towards people who treat me badly or hates me. i wouldnt trade you for anything, you're my whole world, my starlight.
i feel so giddy about the fact that theres certain names that you only allow me to use, and not just "nicknames" no - actual names. you make me feel like no one has before, you’ve always shown me so much love and actually made me feel loved - happy. even if sometimes i beat myself up for creating a discord acc, i look back and remind myself that if i never did - i wouldve never met you, i wouldve never met my future husband. ive even mentioned to my friends that i plan on changing my last name to yours because i was practicing my handwriting, i love yapping about you, like how i did with that professional. i keep thinking that i wouldve been different if i never made any socials, but then i realize i wouldnt have been me, you’ve shaped me into a better person, and you’ve actually given me a reason to recover and continue. you’ve given me a reason to plan out my future, discover what i wanna study, what i wanna be. i adore how you find a way to keep me updated because you know i get anxious when you’re gone for too long. ive never felt this much trust and love for someone before, and i’ll forever be so grateful that i accepted that invite almost 2 years ago already. even if at the start i wasn’t planning on talking much in that server and stay more around my old friend group, im so glad i was able to crawl out of my shell and bond with you, to be able to share an invisible string with you despite the distance that seperate us, with the hours that seperate us.
ive never daydreamed so much about someone than before i met you, you made me feel like i didnt have to keep a mask on to please other and society, you made me feel at ease and able to decompress, judgement free. you make me feel like im on cloud nine whenever we talk, you’re the only one that has been able to calm me down during my episodes just by being with me and just talking, i know i can rely on you for help instead of trying to suffer alone like i was used to doing. i love that you see me as someone beyond my episodes, that you remind me that they aren't in my control. i wanna shout to the world how much i love you, over and over. i wanna stay up all night writing you sweet things. it feels like we've been dating for so much longer, its so funny how much we were in denial about each other and the fact our friends always thought we were together.
i love you so much, my love. you're the jayce to my viktor, and the dark lord to my chosen one <3