Direction added a Smash Cut to my life's storyboard, now I gotta figure it out. (Pitch title, might revise)
Dawning realization.

Y'know, I always considered myself lucky to be an art student that somehow didn't regret his career choice.
You keep hearing stories about people getting stuck as baristas or clerks or whatever the hell.
I somehow "made it" though, in a sense.
Being a weeb paid off, got to work with some Japan companies for animation outsourcing, you'd be surprised how open Toei and Mappa are to external workers, decent pay, work on series I enjoy, 's nice
Or well, it was.
I don't think they'll get back to me anymore.
...
They irony'd be funny if it wasn't life ruining.
It was odd, waking up in bed without any fingers.
Or feet, for that matter.
I felt... odd, almost weightless.
I tried pushing myself out of bed and my hands got stuck in the bed, weird.
I tried again, with my... palms? Facing down, and that worked, nice.
Everything was... Bigger, than it was supposed to be.
Tried getting the sheets off me, only to feel my hands getting stuck. Again.
I finally decided to open my eyes, or eye now.
That's still weird to think about...
I'll try and save the spiel regarding just how odd looking at myself and not seeing myself was, I'm sure there's dozens of stories like that given how damn widespread whatever this "thing" is given the news as of late.
I'll consider myself one of the luckier cases since I at least know what the hell Pokemon is, god imagine being some random farmer in the middle of bumfuck nowhere getting stuck as Rotom.
...But that does make it painfully apparent that my life is fucked.
The fact I had to get stuck as one of the most chuuni-ass mons out of all of them, and one that I thought was just based on an art form I liked on top of that, it feels like some cosmic force is mocking me without my knowledge I swear.
I... Tried making do with the situation but it certainly feels miserable.
I can wrap one of my arms around a pencil if I'm cautious enough but sure as fuck can't draw, I feel like a neanderthal with the way I have to hold the pen.
Have you ever held a pencil in the… fuck I think one of my teachers called it the “transpalmer” grip?
Yeah imagine that but with even less dexterity, it sucks trying to draw or hell even write anything like this.
Using a keyboard is miserable too, the best approach I managed to find is sticking one of my erasers on the tip of one of my arms and making sure I never press the keys hard enough that I’d cut through it.
I still haven’t told anyone about this.
Parents would probably think I’m starting to hallucinate due to working on too many cartoons.
Wouldn’t blame them if they thought that, to be fair.
I’m dreading having to do any calls with my clients though, have you heard what Kartanas sound like trying to speak?
It’s odd, maybe it’s because the damn things are aliens even within the series but like…
It almost feels like verbalizing goes backwards.
For an analogy… Imagine in your head you think about sentences you want to say normally, you understand them.
But when you actually say them aloud, it’s as if you were typing in a computer, started with the period, and went backwards to the first word of the thought.
You THINK it normally, but it comes out inverted.
It genuinely gave me a lot of headaches at first, it’s just… confusing to deal with.
I’m very lucky my phone’s recorder app has an audio reversal feature so I can still send voice messages that mostly sound like me.
…still sounds oddly filtered even after doing that though.
I consider myself lucky this happened right after I stocked up on groceries for the week so at least I haven’t “needed” to go outside my home yet, but good lord am I dreading it.
I hear some places are more paranoid than others when it comes to this whole thing.
This is happening to enough people that I don’t think they can really try anything “funny” regulation-wise.
But I don’t think I’ve heard of… ANY cases of people turning into Ultra Beasts specifically outside of me save for like… Some Nihilego in Japan I think.
I swear to god if someone says “well even those Pokemon games say those things are specially dangerous so we should round them up just in case” I’m gonna lose it.
More than I already have been since waking up, anyway.
Part of me thinks it would be fun to give any new “powers” I might have a test drive, but something about that feels like it’s “too soon”.
And besides, as far as I remember most of the stuff I could even do as a Kartana would be either cut things, or cut things HARD.
God I don’t even get fucking psychic powers or flame breath or whatever the hell.
…Wait aren’t Kartanas double weak to fire?
Can I even use the stove without risking killing myself trying to make some eggs?
God.
I guess I can fly, that’s something.
But I already know living as a floating death knife is going to suck ass.
I’ll try and make the most out of it, I think if I like, curve my arms at the end I can keep the edge aimed at me and use the curve as a dull edge to touch stuff.
…Feels like using your knuckles to do so though, which isn’t great.
Maybe I should pick up gardening or sculpting or something... I did always like clay…
…
Hm. Maybe I should try taking a picture of myself laying on my desk and post it in that 1 /po/ thread, wonder how they’d react. Doubt any of those other Kartana pics could compare to the literal real deal.
Trial and error.

...You know, despite needing to use this stupid grip, this didn't turn out half bad!
Well, I guess me looking very... symmetrical now helps when it comes to making self portraits if nothing else.
...Kind of a pain to do though, but at least I still have art as an outlet.
Definitely can't animate though, not at the rates my clients need me to, so I'm likely out of a job.
...
Probably not the right thing to be thinking about right now given... Everything, but god I need to try and rebrand don't I.
Of course the fucking Pokemon I turned into doesn't even have blue in its color scheme.
Don't even get to be the shiny which I think at least had SOME navy blue in it.
I really shouldn't have committed as hard to that color scheme as I did...
...god, of all fucking Pokemon to be stuck as...
At least let me be a Smeargle of something even if it's cliche.
Did end up posting that... I guess selfie to /po/, I'll check back in on it in a year, not like that thread'll go anywhere. Hasn't gone anywhere in nearly 10 years now.
I wanted to get my mind off of this with just maybe some games but chopping off the sticks doesn't sound particularly productive. Switch 2 was too fuckin' expensive to risk it...
...Did notice something interesting with my arms though.
I think they're sharper if I put them together and slightly curve them towards each other. A mightier wedge to slice with.
Also found that they're a bit more flexible than I thought they would be, I can very much twist them around and curve them up.
...Trying to bend them was a bad idea though, and something inside me was telling me that ruining such... "pristine blades" would be shameful.
...God damn, does being this thing really need to entail such aggressively chuuni thoughts?
Back to what I was talking about though, even though something in the back of my head was telling me it was "pointless" and "a waste of effort", I did find out that I can kind of... Curve, the edges of my arms inward to give 'em more of a tube shape, so I guess I can mitigate the death touch with that, notes taken.
Despite working with Japanese animation studios, I never really... Looked, into any sorts of accomodations they'd decided to make for transformees.
I mean, I imagine they have a few in place, that Nihilego girl was one of their top storyboarders in my time working with them.
Getting rid of that talent because of a change like this would probably be incredibly unfair.
...though I guess that would be par for the course with some Japanese studios huh.
Regardless... Agh, what to do...
Hiding my condition for them to fire me anyway due to being slow as molasses when it comes to deliveries wouldn't be too productive.
But at the same time I don't want to risk being blacklisted and maybe ruining perception of animators here by telling them about turning into a Pokemon, an Ultra Beast no less...
Ugh, something to leave a pin on for later I guess.
What else...
Ok, food.
Anything fire is a turbo hazard so better to stick to the microwave.
...Wonder if I could pull any shenanigans with my rice cooker though.
It probably wouldn't be ideal but maybe I could try and make myself some gyudon, slicing the beef and onions shouldn't be too hard, and I think I can proooobably handle the water in cups if I'm careful.
I'd worry about it dissolving me but I'm not literally paper, am I? Just very... paper-looking.
And besides, I'm part Grass so I think I'll just absorb it if some gets on me.
...
Shit where is my mouth.
Am I gonna have to eat through my eye?
God I hope not.
I remember the 3DS games had animations of them eating in that tamagotchi mode but can't remember them for the life of me.
I'll just pray it's not through the eye.
Please don't be through the eye.
What else, what else...
I haven't opened my door.
Shit.
I don't want to cut it down, I don't think I could afford a replacement, not right now.
And of course I had to go with a knob that's annoyingly hard to grip like this.
Should've "stuck as a Pokemon"-proofed it ahead of time, sucks to suck idiot.
Although... I think the gap below was always a bit tall, so maybe... I could just slide on under?
Something to consider.
Still no clue how I should break the news to anyone.
...Fuck with how my parents are they'd probably just think I'm showing off some of my work if I were to do a call with them, they may know Pokemon but they definitely don't know Ultra Beasts.
Maybe I should just swallow my pride and bluntly ask if anyone else has turned in one of my friend groups' chats.
We're all art student nerds so I'm sure at least someone knows what the deal with Ultra Beasts is, right?
...
Feels odd talking to them before my family but I think it's likely the best approach.
Could tell my sister and maybe she'd kind of get it but she's on Holiday and knowing her, she'd be worried sick until she saw me again if I told her in the middle of her trip...
Welp, friend group it is. Just gotta hope this even works out...
Self-examination through external sources.
...
I'm not sure I have the heart for it, not right now.
It's hard keeping a cool head when your whole life is flipped on its head like this.
I may be worrying too much about my mundane life's "normality" right now given I just turned into a small paper man overnight.
Quick review after looking at that dex site...
I should weigh about... 100 grams if even that, maybe a bit more since I think I'm taller than the average?
I mean, it said that the average height for Kartana was around 30 centimeters, and I was slightly taller than my 30cm ruler when I tried measuring myself against it, so I guess it's nice to not be THAT tiny.
...house still feels massive though.
A-anyway, general mobility...
I think I got the hang of flying fairly naturally, didn't even realize I was doing it until I looked down and saw my legs dangling in the wind. Weird feeling.
If I had to describe it... It's more of a mental thing, I "feel" like I'm walking but my legs don't quite move. If I want to go up it's also weird since it doesn't take any physical effort, but moreso... Mental one, I have to tell myself to "go upwards" to do it, it's very very weird.
Limbs seem... surprisingly articulate given how flat they are, specially the legs, I was worried I'd be unable to stand up with them and they'd just... literally fold under the weight, but I actually have a way better stance than I think I did before.
Meanwhile my arms are super flexible, just can't do harsh corner bents, makes sense. 'least I can do this little jiggy though, somewhat relieving it makes the sound you'd expect from waving a sheet of metal around, I was worried I'd make some alien signal go off or something.

Ah yeah, also managed to find some gameplay of Kartana in that Refresh mode which made some things clearer.
First: I do indeed eat from my eye, that's going to be very fucking weird and I somewhat dread having to do it. Problem for future me to deal with.
Second: The "knot" of sorts in the middle of my chest is at least uncomfortable from the looks of it... Concerning to touch in practice.
Out of curiosity, even knowing it'd likely not be fun, I did try touching it with the dull side of my arm (not going to poke it, I may be dumb but not suicidal) and it felt... Really uncomfortable, but also dangerous. Like it's the glue holding my entire existence together.
Even approaching it with my hand felt like a huge mistake.
As though I should only do it were I shamed irreparably by my own failings.
That I didn't deserve to even entertain such ideas in any way.
...
Man...
Now I feel bad for teasing the Kartana I caught back in the day by touching it, little did I know what pain you went through...
A-anyway...
Third, and something I probably should've realized sooner: I can be incredibly swift, I just didn't think to try it before now. Cool!
I sprinted from one edge of my house to the other in a flash, I could barely process it. I did get a bit tired from it though so something to keep in mind. But still, I guess flying and super speed isn't the worst roll I could've gotten with this...
Fourth: I think "closing my eye" is more of a mental function than a physical one, since when I do try and close it physically it's more like... Looking through iron sights rather than fully blocking out my eyesight.
Feels almost trance-like.
I remember reading about some Decidueyes mentioning a similar thing with their hoods when asked about it, something in common between Grass types I guess? At least me 'n them.
...Still can't get over the holes in my legs, I feel like they should feel weird but they don't?
They're just... Like that. I have no clue what they could even be for.
All of this is a massive head scratcher, but then again it's kinda hard for the concept of "people suddenly wake up as Pokemon" not to be when you're actually going through it firsthand.
With all this in mind though...
This is probably just me coping with the situation but... I guess it's not ALL negatives.
A cut-in detour.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Still procrastinating the important things in life through art under the excuse that it's for work.
I really do oughtta tell someone about this, though...
Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of this stupid grip! Not too shabby if I say so myself...
Self portraits like this are easy when you look so... Simple.
No pesky human anatomical details to worry about like properly scaling eyes with the ears and the nose and mouth.
If I CAN make this work, maybe I won't be out of a job after all! Almost tried using that super speed but... this tablet cost too much to poke a hole through it with the pen.
...a part of me definitely felt tempted to cut it open a couple times though.
Intrusive thoughts, fun, read about some people dealing with them better than others.
Can't imagine being the poor soul stuck as a Shuckle.
...A Snorlax would also be a raw deal, no way in hell you'd get over such mighty sleepiness.
Never really thought about what being an Ultra Beast'd be like before I heard of the Nihilego case though.
I haven't heard of any Legendary cases, so I thought UBs would be equally as impossible.
Little did I know, I guess...

Agh, who am I kidding, I should just get over myself and send the text already.
Not like I'm going to do a group call, I doubt any of them are quick enough on deciphering shit to understand my speech without a solid minute-long delay.
Wait.
Shit, could my phone even detect I'm touching it if I'm made of paper?
Ugh.
I think I still have LINE installed on my desktop, so that should do the trick, just hope it doesn't need an update...
Aaaand of course it does, why wouldn't it, great.
Guess I have some time to spare.
I could try exploring glorious Nippon's netto, but... Somehow I feel that wouldn't be productive unless there was some guidebook back in... Shit was it 2016? Published over there that said anything about Kartana, unlikely.
And if I'm being honest with myself.
...I can feel my body begging me to slice something.
Or maybe that's just latent curiosity about this whole situation still lingering within me.
I think I read something about Kartanas not being particularly aggressive? Relatively, anyway. So at least I don't have to worry about murder instincts cropping up.
Body's still a super death knife though.
What to do...
Definitely don't want to slice something here, don't even want to think how much money already went down the drain from trying to grab some stuff off my shelf before...
...my fucking red amiibo...
...
Well, I guess there's that withered old thing in the backyard...
Actually, yeah.
I was thinking of getting rid of it anyway...
So might as well get some fun out of this crummy juncture while I finally cross that off my to-do list!
...
I feel like I'm way giddier about this than I should be.
But complaining about getting some levity in my life within all... This, is probably stupid, so I won't.
The "field".
Well, first things first, going outside.
I did figure out how to squeeze under the door earlier, turns out, I have... Very little "depth" when it comes to my total volume.
It took a bit of effort, but I could flatten myself just enough to fit through the door's gap.
It's very weird, maybe I'm just making the comparison because I wasn't the most... athletic, before this, but it's like holding in your gut, for your entire body.
Only thing I couldn't do it for was my head (face? whatever), but "closing" it seemed to help by making the tip not poke out that far.
Luckily didn't seem to fold myself in any unnatural spots in the process either, so another point for me.
I'm... so thankful I can fly, it probably would've been miserable trying to go up and down the stairs otherwise.
I'm getting sidetracked again.
While LINE finishes doing its thing, I think I can maybe try and go to the backyard through my window?
I didn't even think of opening it earlier, but with the tube shape, maybe I could do it without any major issues...
Just gotta push down the lock and...
There we go.
...
Shit can I even open it up?
The only things I've held this whole time have been my stylus and eraser, how strong am I anyway?
I mean, I'd hope somewhat strong at least, pretty sure Kartana cut a rock or something like that in the anime.
...And in the games too.
Maybe I have nothing to worry about...
Here goes...
OW.
Fuck.
God dammit my arm bent.
This hurts like hell, god freaking...
I moved it a bit but not enough to fit through, even I'm not that thing.
But I think... Maybe if I kinda wedge my arms between the window and the wall...
I mean, when they're together they're basically a sword, right? I'm sure the dull end of a sword would work as a level of sorts if necessary...
...Agh, yeah I'll definitely need to flatten that arm under a book or something later...
...Ok, there we go, that works.
Note to self, if I'm pushing or moving stuff, gotta use a bigger surface of my arms for them not to bend.
Well, at least my garden hasn't changed. Some things get to stay normal even if I don't.
And there's that old tree.
Admittedly, I've been meaning to get rid of it for a while but couldn't afford to get someone to do it.
Not particularly good with axes to do it myself either.
But now...
Maybe that worthless husk will be of some use.
...Shouldn't even take a second.
Hovering down wasn't particularly hard.
I think I didn't notice it earlier due the lack of a breeze in my room (where the hell would it come from with the window closed anyway?), but...
The wind in my arms is soothing.
I feel like I could let it take me wherever it wanted and everything'd be alright.
However, at the same time... I can't let it take the reigns, I have something important to do.
...Does also feel nice on my legs though.
Man and to think I got annoyed by the breeze just the day before.
Granted, that was probably due to my lack of a proper haircut, it's annoying having the wind blow your hair all over the place.
Guess that's something else I don't have to worry about anymore.
...
Here we stand.
Just me, and that piece of junk I've neglected.
Lets see...
Well, I feel like I probably just fly into it and cut it, but...
No, a good cut deserves some-
...
God I think having to work on those in-betweens for Zoro did something to me, why am I thinking about all this?
Anyway, should just... Try and get into a proper stance...
I don't have a sword to hold next to my hip, but maybe if I put my arms to the side...
Just like that.
...
This feels... Right, relaxing even...
I think I also saw the Kartana in the show close its face before striking so I think I'll t-
...
Whoah.
This is like a whole different world from earlier.
Before I felt focused when I did this but...
I can see everything so clearly now, to serve my one task: to cut.

It's like the world is at a stand still.
I can see all the rings within the withered husk.
It's exactly as old as I remember it: 25 years old.
I can see where the rings are thicker or thinner.
I see angles that'd have the least and most resistance.
I can see it for all the other trees around me, too.
A clean cut for a single, mighty strike.
Several, if I want to dice it.
...
I think I see it now...
For whatever reason, I hear that silly jingle from the Samurai minigame in Kirby, and before I know it...
I dash forward.
I can feel the wind cutting apart against my blade, my body.
I found the perfect area of the trunk to slice.
Perfectly level line, which'd allow me to slice it into smaller logs much easier than a diagonal cut would, even if it'd be flashier.
I can see the grass flying off as I dash past.
I see it rise, but then freeze in the air, as dust trails behind me.
Anything I'm not in contact with is frozen in time.
Closing the distance.
Contact.
I feel as my blade wedges itself into the tree... and keeps going.
It's nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
I slash it with as much ease as the wind I just ran past.
The trunk's split from the stump now. Yet it's not falling down. It's my chance.
Swiftly, I fly upwards before I realize it, and with my arms together, I slam them down towards the piece of wood before me.
It didn't stand a chance.
I do a cut from below, in a perfectly perpendicular cut from the previous. It's split in fourths now.
With this, I keep slicing.
One cut. Then two. Then three. Then more.
Each cut is a work of art.
I can see where the sap once would have flown.
Each log I slice is a part of the tree's life story, exposed bare.
As I reach the stump, I move away. With the angles and sizes I slashed at, all the firewood should fall in a perfectly orderly manner.
My back towards my work, I rest my blades to the side.
That...
Was a good cut.
メン・コテ・ド・ツキ.

...
I don't think I've felt an adrenaline rush like this in years.
It's weird seeing the world go back to the usual playback speed after time being frozen while I slashed.
If my nerd ass had to compare it to something...
Think of Blade Mode in Metal Gear Rising, at least from what I remember that being like.
It's... Odd, seeing the pieces float in place for a second before they fall apart.
Like knocking a jenga tower I made from scratch.
...
...wait what the hell do I even need firewood for?
I'm made of paper.
...
Well, at least the experience was fun...
I hadn't felt so "alive" in a while. Though now I won-
Ah.
Right. The logs hadn't finished falling down yet.
I'll... probably have to either type out an apology to the neighborhood for the noise. Or record one, whichever's less of a pain in the ass.
Well, might as well tidy up all these now...
Very glad I can just about wrap my arms around the round side, although...
Somehow I feel like I accounted for that as I was cutting.
Not proactively, but... The size is very specifically fitting for my grip.
Now let's...
...Huh. You know, I expected carrying stuff to be harder.
I think I'm actually pretty strong despite my weight!
...either that or it's hollower than I thought.
Lucky for me I do have a corner where I can put away all of these...
...It's odd.
Despite only cutting down an old tree...
I feel like I did the right thing.
Like something would heal from having cut it down.
...I think my garden's going to look a lot better now.
There we go... Another couple more...
Well, while I'm stronger than I expected, this is...
Still... Kind of exhausting...
I'd say backbreaking but I guess it'd be moreso backbendig? Backfolding?
There's another few...
Let's...
Huh. Not a stain.
Well, yeah, not actually paper so I guess it makes sense I don't get stained that easily.
But I didn't expect to look so... Pristine, after that.
A perfect, relaxing white, to be cared for and cultivated.
Without care or play, the blade grows dull. None's blade can match mine, I care for it as though it were my very source, as a pristine blade is a pristine mind.
...
I fuckin' swear.
Ugh, all of this already feels like the premise for a bad seasonal anime and now I'm getting intrusive thoughts with the aspirations of grandeur of a shonen protag.
Couldn't it at least have been something more solemn?
Guess it's partially my fault for working on so much Toei shit...
Although... If that knowledge is instinctual, I...
Can't help but feel like it's probably a guide on how I should take care of this new body o' mine.
Probably doing a bad job at it given I already...
Bent... It...?
...
I swore I had it bent pretty badly, let me...
Huh. Not even a crease...?
...Shit, holding it up to the Sun to look at it probably isn't the brightest idea...
But I guess I know "what" I am a little better now...?
It's invisible from most angles, but if I get real close...
I swear I can see veins running through the surface of my arms.
Tiny, plant-like veins. Maybe that's where the Grass part came from...
Grass, grass...
Oh shit, I cut it pretty while I dashed, didn't I.
I think the ground's bare now...
And so it is.
I could try and order some lawn, but actually...
That forest I remember Kartana being in from the game actually looked pretty cozy, didn't it?
The peace of the wind rustling through the razor-sharp leaves of the trees, the stones perfect for practicing stronger slashes on...
And the path... was a zen garden.
I doubt ordinary dirt would quite work for that, but... If I know where to look I could definitely get some white sand. Shouldn't be too pricey, right? It's just sand...
...
I'm trying to rationalize this without Kartana brain being a factor, and honestly? Given how work can get at times?
I think there's worse ways to spend my money...
...And that's the last of 'em.
With that done, I should probably check how that LINE update's going...
Hovering back up is easy. I get the hang of it.
I don't need to physically do it but mentally it's like...
I'm hovering a cursor over my knot, grabbing it, and moving it along the axis I need to.
One more use for having learnt Maya outside the rare CGI request when working on backgrounds to add to the tally...
That's at like, 4 now.
Anyway, making it to the window, left it open since I would rather not risk folding my arm again, even knowing it can heal fairly quick...
Just hoping no mosquitos got in. I mean, not like they'd be getting much from trying to pinch me, but still, they'd probably sound way louder than the bastards already do and I do definitely feel like I'll need some proper sleep tonight...
...
I wonder if one of them could turn into a Buzz-
NO.
Don't finish that thought you moron you'll jynx it!
...
Well...
I can only brace myself just in case...
...There goes the window and...
...
1 of them.
Hm.
I can hear it.
Fluttering right above my chair.
Fuckin' loud too.
I wish I could just go up and take it out instead of...
...
I see it.
And I lunge.
Another worthless object cut do-
Wait fuck why did I do that?!
Shitshitshitshitshit.
Ok it doesn't seem like I hit anything other than the mosquito, thank god.
Can't afford getting a new monitor or keyboard right now...
...
Agh, I always thought mosquitos looked gross when you swatted them against a wall or something, but at this size...
Somehow this feels more morally wrong.
At least it's not twitching...
How the hell did I cut it so perfectly down the middle without even looking?
It's not even like its prong thing, whatever it's called, is only on one of the halves, it's perfectly split down the middle...
...Off to the trashcan you go...
...Seems LINE's ready.
And now... To figure out what the hell to even say in that group chat. Maybe I should do a voice message to practice...
The short messages.

Keeping it simple should do the trick, right?
Let's boot up Audacity real quick so I can do the reversing easier...
There we go, still has that lovely 2010s UI, very nice.
"Hey guys, got hit with the Pokémon thing, anyone else?"
?esle enoyna ,gniht nomèkoP eht htiw tih tog ,syug yeH<
...
Still feels weird hearing my own voice, it's a way more intense version of hearing yourself in a recording and cringing at it, but add onto it that you could barely understand yourself if you didn't know your own thoughts...
"Ended up getting stuck as one of the more interesting ones at least, one of the Ultra Beasts. At least one of you played Sun or Moon, right?"
?thgir, nooM ro nuS deyalp uoy fo eno tsael tA. stsaeB artlU hte fo eno ,tsael ta seno gnitseretni erom eht fo eno sa kcuts gnitteg pu dednE<
If I didn't know any better I'd swear I'm speaking in tongues...
"I'll attach the source audios too, lol."
.lol,oot soidua ecruos eht hcatta ll'I<
There we go, now just need to go into effects and...
There, ready.
If one of them takes less than 10 minutes to pin me as a Kartana I'll gift 'em like 5 dollars on Steam.
Just gotta hit upload and...
Now we wait.
...
Well shit, what to do now...
Still not quite confident in going outside...
I think I'll leave a tab open to look up any place that might sell sand nearby, or maybe I'll just order it off Amazon, whatever's cheaper.
...
Man this kinda feels like a half-baked Mystery Dungeon plot, it's missing that isekai aspect.
Heh, who knows, maybe we'll all turn into Pokemon over time and Mystery Dungeon was actually a prophetic scroll.
I'd say it's dumb but I'm a fucking Kartana so nothing's off-limits!
...
Now that I mention it...
Well, it wouldn't be an isekai since it'd still be set in good ol' Earth but maybe I could pitch an animated biopic called "Day to Day as An Origami Animator" if my life gets any more interesting after this.
I mean, that 16 Bit Sensation thing was decently popular, right?
If not a series it'd definitely work as a short manga, just need to spice things up enough to be worth sharing.
...Ah, who am I kidding, my story's probably too boring for anyone to be interested in.
Maybe I should just go downstairs and just try making my gyudo-
...?
"inb4 guzzlord" -J
...
Thanks, JP.
"Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear, I'll pray you at least became a Buzzwole or something with digits so you can at least keep drawing :(" -B
ACTUALLY thanks, Beth, actually nice to hear right now.
"wasn't the backwards talk a kartana thing in the show? it's been a long time since i watched it though but i remember some trivia vids showing that it just said 'I cut again, again!' if you reversed its audio." -L
Well, guess you earned yourself a-
"dude if you're actually a kartana my condolences, i can't imagine how much of a pain it'd be trying to animate when you don't even have fingers or a proper hand, didn't you have some shit to turn in for daima soon?" -L
I appreciate the sentiment but-
Wait.
FUCK HE'S RIGHT.
Shit.
God dammit they did ask for those fight in-betweens next week didn't they?!
I really need to get up to speed with drawing like this.
Fuck and it's like 60 frames I need to do, too...
"did you at least tell them already? i mean, toei're the guys that have that nihilego girl working for them, i'm sure they'd understand." -L
...
"No, you're the first ones I've told."
.dlot ev'I tsrif eht er'ouy ,oN<
"you should get it out of the way sooner than later i think, rip the bandaid off" -L
I really hate when he's right about things I wish he were wrong about.
...They're getting an email though, I feel like sending them the audio could make things worse, somehow.
"Ahhh yeah, just now saw this, sorry! Well I haven't turned myself but one of my friends from MBA is a Shynx now, she's been having it rough." -M
"I don't think I've mentioned it here (busy with work, can barley read the chat) but for what it's worth I got turned into a Smeargle!" -A
Well, at least I'm not alone.
"Tips on breaking the news to family?"
?ylimaf ot swen eht gnikaerb no spiT<
"What worked for me was just being forward about it. If you overthink it it just gets harder, so just ignore that part of your brain making you hesitate and do it!" -A
Easy to say, hard to do...
...I'll leave them that little text to thank 'em for their answers, I guess that's that.
Probably was more worried about it than I should've been.
...Man I'm hungry.
Definitely need that gyudon now.
Actually, now that I think about it, if I'm careful maybe I can open the door without turning the knob...
Just... gotta wedge my arm between the latch and...
There we go! Good thing I didn't lock it up proper.
And no bends in sight, hell yeah!
...also no cut latch, luckily.
Man floating down the stairs is weird.
It's like... I have some kind of lower-bound raycast pivot that my center of gravity takes as reference to figure out where I should be floating relative to the floor.
Guess my rig's just very well-made to account for that, to keep the 3D modeling analogy...
Can still go higher or lower if I so choose, but not needing to think about my elevation all the time is convenient.
...
I wonder, if this were one of the games... Would this be the part where Arceus or some mysterious voice tells me what my "mission" here is?
Or vague nothings about finding Mew in the sky?
Maybe give my phone a fancy Rotom upgrade? Could use it.
I guess that's possible in theory now but it'd likely be considered enslavement if anyone tried it.
Alright, here we go...
I always thought my kitchen was small, definitely not anymore.
Now, where did I leave all the ingredients last time...
Nourishment.
...take out a measuring cup, 1 of 'em worth of rice would probably be too much given my size...
...put it in, thank god I got sushi rice for this...
Into the cooker it goes...
Now, the water.
"Trial by fire", even if the expression is ironic.
I want to think I'm confident it won't disolve me.
...I'm not but I want to.
Here goes anyway.
...
Huh, it... Actually feels rather nice.
Nicer than it ever did before.
Refreshing, nurturing.
I could sit at a river bed dipping my feet into the water and stay there for hou-
!
Wait.
Uhh. Probably not the best idea to slap myself into focus when I have knives for hands. Self-decapitation, not a good idea.
Either way, got the cup filled up nice, into the cooker you go to, and now to do the rest while I let it do its thing...
Now it's just me, and my next meal at a standstill.
Much less worthwhile target than that tree, but hey, if I've got knives for arms, might as well use them as such.
Given my size... I oughta dice it nice and thin so it's not too much...
Just gotta focus on the layers, the smaller the mincing, the better...
I'll close my eyes... eye, again for best results...
...
I feel as my arms stiffen.
It's as though my blood, if I even have any, is concentrating into them.
A steady blade, a strong blade, an efficient blade.
I slash through the onion faster than I could've even imagined before.

But now, I can see and feel every single instant of the slashes.
I feel as the matter rubs against my arms, and parts way as they move.
Slightly moist, tickles somewhat...
I slash again, and again, effortlessly and precisely...
Another work of art, yet again.
...Time resumes.
Why the hell do I have my back towards it?
Lets...
Oh.
Huh, much better at this than I expected!
Still gotta wait for the rice to cook though...
Guess I might as well get to slicing up the beef too...
...
I wonder how different, its cut will be, from the one befo-
I.
Really fucking need to stop watching so much shonen shit when I'm not required to.
What the hell was that way of talking? That's... Hm.
...But I guess I do kinda have some curiosity about what cutting meat'd be like.
Wait, that doesn't sound right...
...Hard shaking my head when I don't have a neck but...
Think logically.
You cut meat all the time as a human.
You're only specifically cutting some already-dead beef.
It's the same as it was then.
If I'm ppealing to my Kartana side...
...I don't think I'd like to stain the white of my blades with blood of the still living.
That which has served the purpose of providing sustenance in life should be dignified with fullfilling it after death, for it aids the balance of all.
...
Man I really need to stop myself if I ever start talking like this out loud, ugh.
Let's just get the beef out of...
Hooo...
Did the fridge's settings get fucked up again?
Or...
Well, I guess I'm part Grass, but then again I'm also part Steel...
I guess the math of that rules that I'm slightly more sensitive to the cold than I was before.
Either that or a consequence of being basically naked, your choice.
...Actually I wonder if I could make myself some origami clothes and wear them, I'm sure I saw a pattern for a t-shirt once, could be a fun passtime...
...There we go.
Should pose less resistance still.
I think I'll focus on some more vertical slashes this time...
Focus...
...One, my arms slightly lodge themselves into the board.
Two, again, but less so.
Three, I graze it.
Four, I found the perfect depth to slash to.
Then five.
Then six.
Then seven.
Then many.
...It's hard getting perfectly straight cuts down with meat.
It's slightly wavy, moves around, you need to angle it sometimes to get a good cut in.
But every cut I made with perfect.
Completely perfect.
I'd think it was fake if I hadn't done it literally by my own hand.
...Almost feels like it'd be a waste to ruin these perfect cuts by simmering...
BUT, Kartana autist part of my brain, I need to eat dammit.
...Seems the rice is done, good, let me just pass it to this bowl so it can cool and...
There, rinse it a little...
Wash my arms while at it...
Alright. I read that apparently you CAN use these to simmer beef. Very convenient for me, just put it on sauté and... There we go.
In goes the sauce, the beef, and the onions...
Alright, now to let THAT do its thing.
And... preemptively confront reality.
I need to eat this through the place where my eye is.
That doesn't sound like a great time no matter how I slice it.
Wait is any time I make a reference to cutting something wordplay now?
Doesn't matter, back on track.
Unfortunately for me, I AM pretty sure the Kartana didn't even shrink its eye while eating when I saw the gameplay again.
...Still don't know how to do that either...
But just... How the hell is that gonna work?
Do I just assimilate the food when I "peck" it with my face?
Not like they ever rendered unique animations for the food being swallowed in the games.
And Kartana barely appeared in the show.
I hope I just assimilate it when it makes contact.
Still just so fuckin' weird to think about...
Huh?
Oh damn, ready already? Wasn't expecting it to be THAT quick. Does seem like the right amount of time passed...
Well, let me serve this up on a bowl so it's more presentable, and...
There we go, いただきます。
I... Can't use chopsticks can I.
Well, guess I can just pick it up and...
Will this even...?
Just feels like I'm blinding myself...
I'll try closing up my face, see if tha-
. . .
Well I have no clue what just happened but there's a chunk missing from that bit of beef now.
Where does the food go anyway?
Isn't my torso hollow?
But I still feel like I ate.
Don't feel full yet though so I guess I have room to spare.
Sometimes I think I just shouldn't question things.
Respite.
And so I don't.
Eating is definitely weird, feels like I'm blinking a lot in order to take bites out of my food.
The beef tastes oddly... dull. Wonder if that's to do with my new body (no clue where the hell my tastebuds are and frankly I don't want to know) or if using the rice cooker for it just isn't ideal.
Still tastes good enough at least. The series never implied Kartanas were... anything-vore outside of the beans.
I'll just be glad I can still enjoy some of my favorite food.
The rice was VERY good though, filling. Miss being the exchange student over there...
Wonder if they'd be equally as polite to a foreign Pokemon as they were to me back then.
I think they lifted lockdown recently.
Wonder if I could fly over...
Would I get detained? Hell would I even have enough stamina?
Maybe someday.
...Man I can eat way more than I expected to. Guess that makes life easy if I don't have to change the amounts I use for cooking myself food...
Although...
I do feel a bit tired after that...
I'll choose to blame all the cutting I did as the root cause, given it's a lot of exercise...
Then again, I... Didn't feel like exerted myself at all doing it...
Hm...
Well, it's... Still relatively early, and it's like midnight in Tokyo right now, I think I could just... Take a nap before sending that email...
I probably also need to tell my parents something before I do that like she said...
I mean, there's been a few times where I just don't talk to them due to there being nothing TO tell, I'm sure if I wake up too late to telll them today they'll probably just figure that it's that...
i think i'll just use this cushion as a back rest..
mmmmm
i probably could also try and experiment with a few more ways to hold my stylus...
i'm way more flexible than i thought after all...
...m...
...i wonder if i can change it on command...
.......
knoh<
uhs<
...knoh...<

Memory.
...
Today is the day.
I have been honing my blades so they may shine as no other, a blinding purity to be witnessed as I strike.
My seniors have taken notice. They know I have endured.
I have sharpened my blades in anticipation for this day.
Dents, ground away, for through pain, the white glows true.
They're completely pristine, just as they should be.
While theirs may be more experienced... They don't match the quality of mine.
And now, I have finally found a monolith worthy of demonstrating my blade on.

It is the perfect form.
Treacherous, forming arches and holes, making for a difficult target.
But it has a line.
A clear one.
A gift for me.
I feel their gaze upon me.
My seniors and their envoys.
It's intense.
Just as I hoped it would be.
They are expectant for a display only I can deliver.
I can feel as they rest their arms in solidarity for my mission.
...I can see him, too.
A youth from the envoys' village.
He, too, has come of age.
He's holding a hat, in anticipation of finally being able to wear it like his elders do.
If I make a worthwhile display...
We will become as brothers.
Companions for the strength of each other.
He's a studious one, too.
I couldn't ask for a better envoy.
I just have to prove my worth as his Kartana, as he has proved himself to his own peers.
...
A diagonal strike.
Many prefer to approach their display with flurries.
It's easy to look impressive when you muddle your strikes between each other.
But I have trained.
A single strike is judged much harsher.
It has to be truly excellent, to be worthy of approval.
I was told it was foolish, to strike only once, and risk it all.
...But I am well aware of what I'm capable.
Out of respect for the obelisk I will soon strike, I lower to the ground.
I will draw circles along the land, in appropriate veneration of its age.
I picked an old stone, and must pay it the due respect.
As I rake the soft sand, I remember my trials up to now.
I see the leaves around my feet, as they part way for my memorial.
Some of their shapes more perfect than others.
A testament to the training endured to master slicing angles.
How many blades have split those leaves by now...
As I finish my offering to the stone, I brace myself.
I'm ready.
It won't take a second.
After one last turn to my audience...
I dance with the wind.
It whistles as my blades split it apart.
At the apex of my ascent, I join my arms together, holding them together tighter than I ever have before.
A perfect, immaculate arc for my slash to be definitive.
As I lounge downwards, I can feel it.

First contact. A small crevase I'd picked out, a weak point just between the hardest parts of the stone.
In an instant, I dig my arms deeper within it.
The cold mineral embraces them, wanting to keep them to itself, to claim my precious blades.
But I am no novice. Not anymore.
I keep pushing deeper. The ore relents.
My arms are tenser than ever before, in all senses.
I do not relent.
The age of the stone shows, as each break in the layers poses some resistance.
I refuse to cease.
A vertical cut is a common approach, but is most often struck from under the hip to over the head.
But I'm confident, and struck inverse.
Another break in the layers.
I feel the perfectly smooth surface left behind by my strike. I have not lost course.
I grow closer to the edge, I can feel the surface giving way.
Slowly, the wind once again grazes my arms.
I have slashed it.
As perfectly as I could have hoped for.
...As I leave the boulder behind, I flow back above my tribute.
As a show of respect to my seniors, I perform a a low swirl that goes beyond the circles, and a high swirl that puts me back in position, before ending in an outstretched stance facing my crowd.
I put my blades to my side, and give a bow of respect.
...
Even without looking, I can sense as the boulder falls apart.
It scrapes against itself, in a loud groan for all to hear.
...And then it crashes against the land with a truly worthy thud.
I stand upright.
My seniors and their envoys watch.
I see as they come closer, I keep myself steady.
...A few of them quietly nod in approval, a good sign.
They're examining my work, I can hear as they cut the wind to see it from all angles.
I can merely wait, as watching the examination is highly disrespectful.
...It's excruciating...
Yet I must endure this last segment, as I stand so close to my goal...
As I watch, I see who might become my envoy approach.
...He has a smile on his face. Another good sign.
We stare at each other, hat in hands.
I didn't notice, but he's been wearing the ceremonial attire this whole time...
I see it perfectly clean.
...I truly lucked out if he's to become my envoy...
As he watches me with a smile, I can hear it.
The first grind.
A mighty grind.
It must be my teacher.
He has approved my work.
He scrapes his blades together a couple more times, before I hear it.
...He's clapping.
My cut was worthy.
...
I have done it.
I have proved myself.
...The youth loses the very composed demeanor he'd had up until now, and shakes, looking around frantically, as more and more clapping can be heard, both from envoys and Kartanas.
He regains his composure, and approaches me.
As he stands before the circle, he goes down on his knees.
Slowly, with perfect form, he places his hat atop his head.
Quietly, he bows, and offers up his hand.
...It is then that I approach, and offer my blade, sideways.

A sign of acknowledgement. Of respect.
He is now a Kartenvoy.
My Kartenvoy.
A mutual agreement that cannot be sliced apart by any soul.
A true bond.
...
And I couldn't be happier.
...
...
........
Awakening.

...mmm...
...ugh...
...that was...
probably the least rested i've felt after a nap...
...
Hey... Wait a second...
What was...
Ngh...
Oh yeah, I think I did hear about this...
ugh, my head...
Those... vision dream things some people have...
Some people... gettem more 'n others...
I think I heard some say that like...
...geesh was it really that much food...?
It's like, your new body giving you a tutorial...
Showin' you "hey buddy you should act thisaway"...
...m...
Wait.
Waitwaitwait.
Shit I'm one of the people who got those?
Ugh... Just hope I don't get the midday ones...
But... try to think...
That was... interesting, to see...
I think Kartanas didn't get that much development in the series...
...but it all makes sense from what was there, right...?
Though why would there be a human in...
...actually, yeah no that makes sense actually...
It... Hm... Feels silly to say now but...
It felt like I was looking at my brother in that dream, even if I couldn't make out the details...
...But I don't have a brother...
Why did it all have to look so fuzzy...
I just... remember the forest, that rock, and... his hand...
Mmm...
Ah fuck what did I hear about this again...?
Some people feeling like they lost themselves in these delusions...?
Mmm...
I... probably should keep my wits about it and heed the advice but not overthink...
I feel like worrying about what I "lost" from those dreams...
Might be what'd make me lose who I am...
...
...fuck what time is it...?
...5pm huh. Felt like I slept way longer than that.
...let me check the date just in...
Ah, same as before, good, didn't sleep in...
...
...man that shit would make for a cool pilot...
Maybe if my own life's not interesting, drawing Kartana's could be more of a hit...
...wonder if it'd count as a "firsthand retelling"...
...alright, i really should tell ma n pa...
Relatives.
...mmm...
I really need to shake the sleepiness off, but...
Agh, no, focus.
I need to tell them sooner than later.
I think I'll do a voice message with a picture.
They've seen the news, maybe I was worrying over nothing, thinking they wouldn't believe me earlier...
Just...
Suck it up.
Get it out of the way already.
...Ah shit, right, need to use WhatsApp with 'em, it's what everyone their age uses...
Good thing I also got the desktop for that one, even if Zuck can still go choke on it...
...
Please don't bombard me with questions...
...Here goes...
...lortnoc ym fo edistuo saw yllear ti ,deneppah siht yrros ...m'I .ti hctac ot yrt t'ndid raews I .gnihtyna ro sselkcer t'nsaw I esimorp I .thgin tsal .deneppaH ...tsuj ti tub ,luferac oot neeb ev'I gnihtyna fi ,em dlot uoy senilediug eht dewollof I .ti htiw tih tog I ...yletanutrofnu dna swen eht draeh ev'uoy wonk I .dad yeh, mom yeH<
...add the reverse filter...
Take this picture...

...I hate looking at myself like this still...
And sent.
...
I thought I didn't have heart anymore...
So why is my chest beating like crazy...?
...
Please... Don't think it's my fault.
Please don't think I was being stupid and gambled my life away for a chance to be a Pokemon...
I swear I didn't mean for this to happen...
I know you always worried about me getting too into fantasy, but...
This isn't like that...
please answer
please
i swear i didn't mean it
i'm sorry
please don't be mad at me
you don't deserve to have this happen to you
I promise I-
...
...please...
"We're sorry for taking a minute, we had to... talk things over." -Pa
"I'm sorry." -Ma
"How do you feel? Have you had any headaches? Can you take tylenol still? Is your throat okay? You sound awfully stuffy." -Ma
"Please be careful, don't make contact with others." -Pa
"We know it's not confirmed to be a virus, but... please be careful just in case. Try sheltering if you can." -Ma
"Just... promise us you really didn't mean for it to happen." -Pa
I-I didn-
"But... Since it already happened anyway..." -Pa
"You... liked that one, didn't you?" -Ma
...
"I didn't look at it proper due to the shock earlier but... You did make one of the pokemones you are out of origami when you were little, right?" -Ma
"You were so proud of it too." -Pa
"Is it hard to draw like that? If you have issues with work, we can help you while you get back on your feet, just please tell us." -Ma
"I'm sure we can find some job for you to do around here, I mean, you have superpowers now, right?" -Pa
"Just be careful not to break something with them!" -Ma
I...
"...Maybe I could make you some wood sheathes if they can help? I remember you said that that thing was a paper sword or something like that." -Pa
"It's... a difficult time for all of us, but... We know you're probably dealing with the worst of it..." -Ma
"Please, if you need help, don't be afraid to tell us, we'll be there as soon as we can." -Pa
I really...
"If you need to talk, please, call us." -Ma
"For now, just... take it easy mijo." -Pa
I...
Really don't deserve them...
...
T-that's... Funny...
I can feel like... I want to cry, but...
It's n-not happening...
But...
My vision is... getting blurry anyway...
I...
...
S-so that's what it will be like, huh.
It... almost looks like dew on my arm like that...
What was I so worried about?
I was... ashamed?
At somehow having failed them?
That I'd be a smear on our family history...? Our family name...?
But... That's silly, isn't it...
We... Did talk about how we'd feel if any of us caught it...
And we agreed we'd all help each other no matter if it did...
Moron...
Really should've believed them.
I'd hug the screen right now if I wasn't worried about cutting it open...
...
.neht noos uoy eeS .uoy knahT .niaga yrroS<
...
And now the beating's gone...
Just like that, huh?
"We love you." -Ma
"Stay safe." -Pa
Heh...
...What was I even worrying for...
Well, that's another weight of my shoulders.
I don't... Think I need to tell Toei about it today. Tomorrow'll do.
I can't handle trying to do another message...
...I need to get my mind off this, but how should I-
Oh, right.
Right!
Before I forget, let me...
Yeah, I think 5 kilos should be enough...
...
Lets check for sword training dummies too while I'm at it...
Should get a strong one...
...Somehow they have it.
The things you find online!
Wish I could order a rock too while I'm at it, I feel like the wooden one won't last too much.
...I'll get 10 just in case...
Good thing they're cheaper than I expected.
...
...let me also get some instructions on making one for myself...
Aaand there.
Same day delivery too, huh? Guess the local warehouse has all this.
Somehow.
Won't complain, should get here in a couple hours or so, perfect.
Well then, with all... that, done...
How can I waste my time in the meantime...
...man i can't even finish my Z-A playthrough now...
I wonder if someone'll develop Poke-accessibility controllers soon.
Hm...

Well, I guess I could try carving something out of...
Actually.
Shit would that work?
So far the transformations seem "faithful" to the source material, at least for the most part.
Who's to say it wouldn't...?
...
Alright I know what I gotta do.
Just gotta look up a wooden flute tutorial and a wooden pokeball tutorial and...
Alright, there it is.
If this works I'll be so damn happy.
...
That Snorlax has blocked the road for too long anyway.
Woodcraft.
I really hope this'll work out...
...And I wish I'd taken my dad up on his woodwork lessons more often than I did...
But I still think I'm doing alright.
Carving out the PokeBall part was much easier than expected, just had to hold my right hand out in a curve that'd be half the diameter of it, and spin the wood around with the left one so it'd get carved into shape.

Carving out the inside was harder though, much more finnicky, but I think I got it down good enough.
Also needed to do the line around it and the button, although for the button I mainly chopped some bits off a stick and they looked pretty on-point, just had to polish them up a bit.
It hurt a bit to "ruin" the PokeBall but I did need to drill a hole through the top and bottom for it to connect with the main flute.
The flute was a bit more annoying since it's nearly as tall as I am, had to be very careful to cut it right...
Holes were easier than expected, if I make tubes with my arms I can basically just... Poke into the main body, and then pull out the bit of wood.
I considered making the parts they were on slightly concave like flutes usually have them before remembering that that's meant for... human fingers, specifically...
...
...At least I could use the same technique to make the inside hollow...
I really wish I had some paint to spare, this'd look amazing with it, but it'll have to do...
It's been very relaxing working on this while listening to the music admittedly, always loved the HeartGold arrangement for the radio...
It's odd, listening to it I feel relaxed, but also... More focused, awake.
A very lovely tune.
...can't believe the first thing I'm going outside for will be to wake up a Snorlax...
I should just think of it as community service.
...
Just in case the flute itself doesn't work out, let me...
There we got, Pokeflute Theme downloaded.
Can't hurt having a plan 2.
Really hope this bag'll be good enough for the stuff I need to carry...
Shadowed Duty
The wonders of freebies in Japan.
It's... uncomfortable I'll admit, but at least it leaves my arms enough room to spare.
I'm... glad I'm strong enough to carry it. Seems like my... god what even are these, frills? Collar? Pauldrons? Whatever the hells, are pretty damn solid if need be. At least they keep the bag from slipping off.

I should have the audio app at the ready in case I see anyone...
Hopefully I won't, but you can never be too careful.
Locking the house isn't hard, thankfully.
I did learn a bit more about myself through turning the key though.
These arms are really weird.
I think it's like... I can control their stiffness somewhat? It's like... having blood rush to them to strengthen it, but I don't think I have blood, it's very very weird...
At least it's something worth knowing.
The Snorlax shouldn't be too far, just up at the exit to the highway.
I wonder if I can lure it away from the road without a confrontation though...
I can take him on if need be.
I think.
...why am I getting cocky preemptively...
Hm.
I think it's one of the neighbors' dogs, it appeared the same day the dog disappeared.
That dog was always... really lazy, he wouldn't even get up to start barking at you and would just kinda look up from the porch.
Must be having the time of his life.
Sorry buddy, I just want to make our lives, and I'm sure you can have a better spot than the road...
...not particularly great for you to raid the gas station in that corner every day either...
Alright, I should be ready.
...
The evening Sun is very nice...
Stretching out my arms like this... I can almost feel like I'm holding its light close to me.
I'm ready.
This dumb idea better work...
I've gone through this road a lot of times before.
Feels bigger now.
IS, bigger, objectively, at least to me.
I wonder how long it'll take me to get there on foot, or I guess, through flight, compared to driving...
...Here goes.
...The wind feels just like that dream...
I think I get what it was trying to tell me now.
Focus.
I see as I pass by the houses in the neighborhood. Some are starting to turn the lights on...
Guess it's that late in the day.
I'm not sure a fight at night would be ideal for me.
But I'm too far away already.
...I pass by the many stores and office buildings on the way there...
I think I've seen a few people turn their heads, but a good few of them shrugged afterwards.
A lot probably figure seeing a Pokemon do Pokemon things is just a fact of life now.
I mean, that's what I did when I saw some Manectric literally bolt down the street a few days ago.
There's an odd noise as I stop and go.
It almost sounds like the wind is whistling as I run.
It sounds encouraging.
...My legs really feel like they're made out of paper now.
They dangle in the wind, but I keep moving forward.
Still feels like running.
Running like I never have before, but running nonetheless.
I'll keep going until I reach that turn. Used to be the route I took to uni.
Alright.
...Snorlax still there.
At least there's some open field off to the side.
If I can wake it up and lead it there, that should do the trick.
...man I can't imagine the traffic the freshmen have to deal with due to this, my heart goes out to them...
A part of me is telling me this is a very, very dumb idea.
And another feels like it's nudging me towards it.
Hope listening to the latter won't be a mistake.
...I forgot how freakin' big this guy was.
Christ.
Even as a human he was huge.
If I tried climbing it the way a human would it'd seem like a damn odyssey.
...
Well.
I'm already here.
Came too far just to get stage fright at the last moment.
There's not many people around, but a few are watching.
Some are confused about the little paper me standing in front of them.
...I think a few either know Gen 7 or are just baseline worried about Pokemon.
They all keep their distance, makes sense.
Shouldn't make it too theatrical, just... Tell them what's going on.
!tnemom a em evig tsuj ,daor eht ffo mih teg ot aedi na evah I kniht I dna god s'robhgien ym saw xalronS siht ,uoy tcartsid ot yrroS !olleH<
...play it back on the phone with the reversal and...
There.
Ok seems they get it even if they look confused.
That kid looks excited.
I guess I'd be too in his place.
Mom's doing good to hold him at bay.
Something mine would've done in her place.
Alright.
Now, about you big guy...
I made sure to properly memorize the melody as best as I can, at least it's simple enough and conveniently accessible to my weird arms.

...
...man this melody's really nice...
Ok, its ear twitched, I think it heard it.
They look... worried.
Just keep playing so it faces the field and...
Ok it's moving its foot, good, good!
Just a bit more...
Alright, it's awake!
It worked!
Maybe I should make more of these
...
Ok, it's... Standing up...
Just gotta back up into the field...
Keep following me...
Ok, I think we're in a good spot, now just go back to sleep and...
...
It's... looking at me very intensely.
Oh.
Y'know.
I never thought... a glare from a Snorlax could be scary...
...
I think I did in fact make a mistake.
Oh no.
You know how hippos can be some of the most unassumingly dangerous animals?
Multiply that by 10 and you get Snorlax.
Hell hath no fury like a Snorlax rudely awakened.

...
HOW THE HELL CAN IT RUN SO FAST?!
I'm lucky I can fly if not-
AGH.
Fuckfuckfuck.
I think it just tried to body slam me...
Maybe if I run deeper into the field it'll be safer for everyone back there and then I ca-
FUCK that was a Fire Punch, why did it have to be Fire Punch?!
It's still not giving up?!
I think it's trying to run on all fours...!
Of course, it WAS a dog after all!
Can I even keep outrunning it if it does that?!
These things eat their weight in food, right?! Is that how it has THIS much damn energy?!
I thought I could just calmly Piper of Hamelin him off the road and leave it at that so everyone could be happy, I didn't think it'd get pissed like th-
...
huh?
Wait it... stopped?
Is it letting me go?
Why are its eyes...?
What's it even do...?
...
Oh.
Oh god it learns Hyper Beam doesn't it.
...
What am I doing?!
Get out of the way you moron!
Do you want to die like this?!
MOVE!
!EVOM<
Why can't I move dammit...!?
Dammit body, just let me run away!
I don't want to die!
Please!
Just let me do something, anything...!
!---esaelP<
Reflexes
I... I can't look...
...
It feels like everything stopped.
I can still think but for how long?
Even if it's supposed to be a normal move...
I can't live it.
I have decent defense but it's defending such a small life that I won't stand a single chance.
I don't even have some stupid affection gimmick to deus ex machina my way out of this.
It's a Snorlax.
I have never fought in my life.
What the hell was I thinking?
Why would I even do this?
I had been so rational about this up until now.
And it just ends like this?
I'm dead.
I have to be.
For no good reason.
Just because I wanted to play around.
God dammit.
I'm well and truly dead, aren't I.
...
...But I shouldn't say that, should I...
If I'm still here, I can stand a chance.
And if this is that chance...
I should just...
Focus.

I can see within the frozen time.
I can't afford to escape.
But I have no way to truly defend myself.
Yet... I have to have some way.
...
Kartanas can cut through anything...
...
I must be able to cut through anything.
A simple thought fills my mind.
"A good offense is the best defense."
...
I'm staring at the gaze of death approaching me even as I think.
It's a desperate gamble, but I have nothing else.
My body moves without deeper input from me, as if on auto-pilot.
Muscle memory from a battle I've never fought.
As if on instinct, I cross my arms before me.
...And slash a an X through the beam.
My arms burn like all hell.
I've never felt anything like this before.
I burnt myself a couple of times in the past.
But nothing like this.
It feels like it would've burn my muscle tissue in the past.
But I can't let myself scream.
I can't give up.
Not when I'm this far.
Forged through pain, a slash must be seen through, specially if it's necessary to survive.
I keep expecting the rest of the beam to strike my body whole, to annihilate me.
But it doesn't happen.
Time continues, and I keep watching...
...My slash dispersed the beam, as I see a green X fly towards my opponent.
It's splitting the Hyper Beam apart.
...A blade beam of my own.

...And eventually...
Contact.
Time resumes.
The Snorlax is knocked back on its back.
...
...And doesn't get up...
...
For whatever reason...
Despite having just done that...
I feel a surge of energy within me.
Like adrenaline.
I'm ready to keep going.
...
...But there's no other opponent to strike.
...
Agh, what did I even do just now...
...
Blades look... burnt...
...
...should I grind them against each other or just buff them or...
...Problem for later.
Make sure you didn't just kill the fat dog first.
Seems our spat made a bit of a mess...
Good thing this place is public property...
...He's...
Already asleep again huh.
I... guess that tracks.
It was a Hyper Beam it used after all. My attack likely just pushed it straight past NREM.
...Please stay here, will you?
Well, if the dex is true, then...
No wonder it said what it did, wow.
What a soft belly.
If I didn't have those packages to pick up I wouldn't mind staying here to sleep.
...It's already dark out after all...
...

...この手、だれの手?
...
Guess now I can understand why cops don't try using these flutes to lure them away.
Doubt they have enough able-bodied mons who can deal with the brunt of a Snorlax attack.
...
...ugh...
I'll probably keep it as a caffeine substitute.
...
I... really should be headed home...
Sorry for waking you up Popeye.
Get some good sleep, you deserve it.
And I should probably do the same...
...
...Surely my orders must've arrived by now...
Road home
...Taking it easy on the way back was the right choice I think.
I think I'd normally feel more tired after a fight like that, but that... surge after knocking down Popeye really did reinvigorate me...
I've seen a few people turn and point.
I think none got to see the fight itself, probably just the light show from it...
I'd try walking instead of flying if it didn't mean dragging my phone behind me.
...that and the flute...
Wonder if they'll put out some PSA about not playing the Pokeflute melody to Snorlax after my total jackass stunts just now...
Maybe they already did and I just missed it.
...ugh...
I think nothing I did affected the surroundings that much and there's barely anyone around.
If anyone posts about it at all it'll likely get swept up in the news whirlwind like many others...
Seriously, fuckin' Geodude asshole ran around the other day making potholes everywhere and they still haven't said shit...
Guess I shouldn't be too surprised.
Probably not as interesting to report on compared to the stuff happening in that city.
Heh, if I could get an interview with that guy and pitch him a manga I wonder if he'd take it.
Although I did see a few doujin ones about it published on Pixiv.
Probably very convenient for all the people who already did aura dog shit to be able to channel that into an actually true story for once.
Oughta go to Comiket again, wouldn't be surprised if they dedicate a whole building in the venue just to Pokemon stuff now...
Guess it'd somewhat count as "non-fiction" now, huh.
Maybe we could get some official Pokehus now in ZUN's simply masterful art style...
Heh...
...
God, that looks real nasty...
Even if it's not fire that Hyper Beam still leaves a very bad burn...
A part of me is telling me I should scrape my arms against each other so I can grind it away but I'd cringe at the thought if I physically could.
Guess that'll be another conflict, huh...
Human logic, Kartana instincts.
It's so easy to think "Pfff, I totally could control myself if that happened to me" all the way up until it actually does.
I'll compromise with myself and... try, when I'm home.
Road feels longer than usual, but again, I'm tiny, makes sense...
Been a minute since I walked down the city at night...

It's nice.
I think I stopped doing it since I was worried about the safety of doing it...
...Well, if anything, I guess now I'M the thing to be worried about at night...
Although, after earlier...
...
Ah, I shouldn't think about it too hard...
If I really need to get something out of my system I did order those dummies, better to just use them...
...
Doesn't seem anyone's outside at the neighborhood, convenient for me so I won't complain...
...

Fuck.
I... Didn't think about how I'd carry these packages inside anyway did I.
...
...why the hell did i order 10 anyway...?
At least the sand is easy enough to carry, but...
...
no that'd be stupid i'd just get stuck on the boxes if i tried slamming into them to shove them
Ughhhhhhh...
I'll just... leave them here overnight so I can think of something tomorrow.
It better not fucking rain I swear to god...
...Feels weird going back to my home...
It's the same as always, but it feels so...
Imposing.
I know it's just my size now but...
...
And here I thought it'd be future proof.
That was dumb.
No one can predict the future after all.
Let alone predict being turned into a Pokemon in said future...
Ugh... My neck... Or whatever it is...
Glad I can lug that bag around but it's still a workout...
Can't even stretch properly anymore...
...
I should go look up Toei's accommodations before I sleep...
Who knows, maybe reading 'em will be the kick I need to tell them my situation...
...man having to type one letter at a time with each hand still makes me feel fuckin' stupid...
...let's see what we have here...
"Statement regarding contract policy around ポケ人間 (MHLW Label)."
Well, they're the most publicized on studio about the matter due to the Nihilego, makes sense they'd have to do PR about it...
"We Toei Animation Co., Ltd. have been closely communicating with Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare officials over the risks and inequity tied to the recent Pokeningen (Tentative classification) phenomenon around the country..."
...yadda yadda yadda, no one knows how it works, still looking into it, pokemon development halted...
"The Company possesses deeply developed support networks for remote work, built up since the SARS-COVID epidemic, that we have strived to upkeep even with the return to local work. We intend to provide support to any of our contractors, Japanese national, Immigrant, or International, who have been subject to the phenomenon as they go through these challenging times, in order to aid them in preserving their careers, or, were they unable to continue in their field of work, help them in finding alternatives through many of our different associates. We send our deepest regards to those affected and their families, as we at Toei provide the best support we can for our workers who've been afflicted by the situation."
...Guess maybe telling them won't be that bad of an idea...
I'll check their response when I wake up.
"こんにちは、八島さん。今日、私はポケ人間の病気人になりました。でも、来週で、私の バックグラウンドフレームお完了したいよ。私はちょっと遅いです、しかし、まだ描けるよ。ご不便をおかけして申し訳ありません。"
...that should do it...
Hope he won't be too mad at me...
...
Self-care
Just get it over with.
It'll probably be like cutting your nails if anything...

...
Putting my arms against each other knowing how sharp they are is stressful.
But... It also feels natural.
...
You're just getting rid of dead tissue.
That's all.
I'm trying to remember that dream...
Dammit, why does it have to be so fuzzy now?
I swear I remember hearing swords grinding against each other...
But why...?
Come on, can't you give me a better hint?
Does this NEED to be a "learn as you go" thing...?
...
Wait, was the Snorlax encounter also meant to...?
...
Funny.
I think I'd never questioned if my decisions were my own until now.
I hope they still are.
And if they're not...
I hope whoever actually made them would explain himself.
...
...please don't hurt that bad...
...
H-huh.
That... Actually feels rather nice...
It's very... strange though...
I don't even know what to compare it to.
Should I allow myself to think that way again...
I would say a cleansing of the blades brings about a cleansing of the mind.
...

..s'pose that makes enough sense at least...
I guess it's like... Rubbing alcohol on a cut to heal it...
It... stings at first.
You regret doing it in the first place.
But the more you peel back the damage... It feels more relieving.
It also feels... Cool, despite the fact it should cause friction.
Like I can feel the wind around the area more intensely due to my... maybe nerves, being more exposed.
It... does hurt.
It still hurts.
But I'm doing this now will make it so it doesn't hurt later.
It just... takes some time...
And here I thought cats bathing themselves through licking must be cumbersome...
Ow.
Need to remember not to use the tip for this else I poke myself...
But just... Gotta keep at it until at least most of the charred parts are gone...
The rest will be my battle scars or something I don't know.
Ow.
I guess I just need to be more cautious if I don't want to deal with this in the future.
Definitely not hoping to pick fights any time soon.
...
Ow.
Sobering realization
Feel real stupid for thinking this'd be a lazy week for me now...
I think I've had my fill of excitement for the whole month already...
...
Arms seem to have healed up nicely after grinding them against each other...
Good to know even if it still isn't particularly fun to do...
...
Ugh.
...a fuckin' kartana, huh...
I guess that's how rolling the dice goes when that dice has over a thousands sides to it...
I guess I'm lucky I at least still somewhat look humanoid...
...really couldn't have had the charity to at least make me into one with more human hands huh...
...
I shouldn't keep trying to distract myself from this, but...
...
...Ah, Yashima replied...
"わかります。このフォームに記入してください。サポートを提供するために必要。"
...guess they need me formally registered or something like that, I'll get to it tomorrow...
God, I feel like shit and like I just had like 5 energy drinks at the same time...
I should try and see why that might...
...just open wikidex and...
...Shit.
That was a Beast Boost, wasn't it?
I guess that'd explain that adrenaline rush, but...
...
Not particularly comfortable with the idea that taking out others makes me stronger...
I'll just pray I never have a reason for that to even come into play.
At least... not again.
...
Man, how do people even figure out what the fuck to do with their lives after they turn...?
Guess it's not too different from being crippled by an accident, in a way...
Could've lost my hands just as suddenly as a human...
...Wish I knew if the ones I have now are even my own...
I wonder what it's like for those who just give up and go feral...
Would you call it hedonism?
In a way, you're giving in to your basic desires and impulses I suppose.
Some just... keep trucking on as if nothing had changed.
I wish I'd be in the camp that could do that.
If only I'd kept my digits with me in the change.
...
I've heard of people finding new callings in life.
Some just change careers according to their new abilities.
I think some just choose to follow the behavior of the mon they were turned into.
What's it like, to have your whole personality be flipped on its head like that overnight?
Is that what's happening to me?
Or are those cartoonishly "anime" thoughts just the usual that I never brought forth much before?
Is this just... enabling me, to be even more "me"?
...
I'd like asking why but somehow I feel like that'd be the least likely question to ever be answered...
...
Wonder how long it'll take the neighbors to notice...
I've always been a bit of a cryptid, even before this, so I doubt they would notice if they don't see me outside for a while...
...
I should stay more positive through this shouldn't I?
...but then the fucking realization hits me like a freight train...
Ugh.
...
Am I even any better than Takumi if I just keep hiding away...?
Wasn't that the point I was supposed to take from that story...?
...
But it's not like I could uncover some wild conspiracy, I'm just a loner otaku nerd who gets too stuck up on his own art farts.
Fuckin' hell it's not like I even have the power to manifest shit with my mind.
All I can do is cut good.
...
I'm sure I'll find something worthwhile in this situation at some point.
I have to.
...
Funny. I always loved thinking about the cool stuff I'd try doing if I was stuck in different series' plots.
Now something like it happens and I just... freeze up?
...
Not like I even have much I could do...
...
Wish I could settle on whether I want a simple life or an interesting one...
It's weird...
I feel like being given these kinds of powers should be some kind of push to do something... "more".
But... what even could that be?
I don't want to lose my job, but...
Agh, isn't it a waste not to make more out of this?!
...
Is this interesting enough?
Wasn't I just worrying my life was too boring a couple days ago...?
So now this happens.
Shouldn't I be grateful?
Grateful that something different finally happened?
...ugh, you're not a fuckin' shonen protag, your life won't just magically become that interesting buddy...
You've gone over the damn storyboards for those a dozen times before and asked yourself how it'd play out if it happened for real...
Now it happens and you start wanting to act like those tropes?
Give me a break...
...
In the hurry of everything, I... never gave myself time to process it all properly, huh...
...should've done that instead of pissing off a snorlax, huh...
Well... I guess this is my state of affairs now.
My anatomy changed completely, and am now a fantasy creature from a series I've loved since I was a kid.
In another circumstance, I might think this is awesome.
But with this specific one, it makes life hard.
Physically, I'm more limited when it comes to dexterity, sucks for my profession specially, and I...
...
I... don't think I can make contact with people anymore unless I'm incredibly cautious...
...
Guess that's just karma for being a relative loner, huh.
Should've done it while I still could...
"Don't know what you have until" etc.
Feels like my head's just raring to ache...
If I'm also honest with myself...
Something about the fight was fun, despite how terrified I was.
It felt... Right, to attack back.
Striking in retaliation towards a worthy foe.
Something to test the metal of my blades beyond smaller time wasters.
...
If I didn't know logically it's an awful idea maybe I'd consider looking for Pokemon battle clubs.
...Maybe one of the "well kept" gyms that've been cropping up, even though I think they're still not sanctioned...
But I've never been a fighter.
If anything I'm a coward.
Was too scared to even move to Japan when given the chance because I didn't want to change my life too much.
I didn't want to lose my easy outs.
In retrospect, there was some prudence in that maybe.
Toei was accommodating but I've heard that some transformees over there have been having it rough...
Though who knows, could be the usual demoralization, I saw firsthand how different the real Japan is after all...
...
...fuck me dude...
Maybe some cocoa will help...
...even if I'll likely have to keep it cool just in case...
I guess I could do a cold one.
Wonder is my arms could work to blend it up, heh.
...
Ugh.
I'll just... Leave the blender to do its thing...
What the hell even am I now?
I always thought Kartanas were cool, but what does being one even entail?
I remember thinking about "what if I were a Pokemon" when I was a kid but I always thought of the easy options.
Mewtwo, cool psychic powers, flight, super powerful.
Latios, jet dragon, can possibly shapeshift according to Heroes.
Chesnaught, great defense and resistance if a bit slow.
Hoopa, dimensional powers, secret form, can fly and teleport wherever.
I think even the quadrupeds I considered weren't THAT bad, in maybe Keldeo or Solgaleo.
But of course, always thinking about the big legendaries, least for the most part...
But that'd just be too easy now wouldn't it, wannabe protag man?
No, instead I get stuck as one of the dangerous aliens with no fucking hands and no specially unique abilities considering I'm the embodiment of conflict-averse...
God...
And I just punctured a hole in my couch by trying to slam my fist into it.
Great.
Just fuckin' dandy.
...
Maybe I should just take a nap, clear up my mind.
Kartana brain, if you're somehow listening...
I have a feeling I'll get some weird dream again.
If it HAS to be about how to "be" a Kartana could it at least be more descriptive instead of just wholly cryptic like my nap earlier?
I will take any pointers I can get, just let me "get" them in the first place...
...ah, did end up warming the water for the cocoa, didn't i...
...I just went autopilot on it...
Probably a habit I need to change...
At least it was through the microwave instead of on the stove...
I think if I tried the stove the fire would've definitely snapped me out of that trance.
...well, down the hatch...
...

FEELS hotter than before, agh.
But... At least it does still taste nice...
Well, it does have a milder taste than before, but maybe I just didn't mix it right...
...Nothing to ease the mind like a warm cup of cocoa.
Just...
It's all too much to think about, but I should be more... stoic, about this.
Probably the best way to keep myself grounded and not completely insane...
...Alright, that's enough for today...
Best to go sleep.
Hope I actually do get some rest out of it this time around...
...Man, I didn't realize how badly I did fuck up my room until now...
Hope I can borrow some wood filler off of dad soon to make them look decent...
I can probably glue Red back together too if I'm careful, at least the NFC chip didn't seem to get damaged...
I'll... probably need to replaces the novels I cut up though, which fucking sucks since a good few were Japanese...
Thank god I didn't try pulling out any of my CDs, goodness.
...
Wow.
I turn into a Pokemon and of course I still worry about all my weebshit being intact.
Great.
Guess some forms of autism are too crippling.
I think I'll just... lay down in bed...
...
Man I... hadn't realized resting on a pillow would be this uncomfortable...
I think I'll just shimmy on down a little bit and...
There we god.
More like it.
I'd feel odd about laying so... flat.
But I guess it works.
...
......
The tower.

I'm standing in the middle of Shibuya.
I don't know how I got here, but... I feel like I have to be here, for something.
I can hear the rumble of Scramble Crossing behind me.
And 109 is as strikingly obvious as ever.
No one seems interested in me.
Why would they be?
There's dozens upon dozens of Pokemon around.
Much more interesting and imposing than me.
It's interesting.
They all seem to be going down different paths, no?
So much noise.
So many people going about their own lives.
And yet they never bump into each other, someway, somehow.
A Ferraligatr with an easel, probably a street artist.
A worried woman in a business suit, rushing to her office job.
A small Tepig with a backpack on its back and a sun hat, probably an elementary school kid.
Some girl in gyaru makeup talking on her phone, headed to the station's mall.
A Pansear with a backpack too, but wearing some kind of black jacket, possibly a high schooler.
A guy wearing leather getting into an argument with a Simisage, seems like a couple of delinquents.
A Slaking resting on a bench with a can on his hand, likely hungover from a drinking party last night.
An old lady at a Taiyaki stand, serving a boy and a Mime Jr.
I see a Gardevoir who's seemingly become a local idol, wearing cosplay with a small crowd of both people and Pokemon gathered around her.
So many options, yet... They all seem so clear in what they're doing.
I feel as though I can see the life emanating from them into the places where they stand.
...
But I can't see any from myself.
Like I'm in a small bubble of stillness.
I can see as some gathers when anyone passes by, but as they leave, it empties itself out again.
...
I look at my shadow.
I swear the tip of my head looks like it's pointing to a small street fight.
...
My shadow shrugs.
"If you are lost, I can recommend some ideas." it tells me.
"Yet, you're still you."
"If it's not a choice you'd make, don't do it."
But I should be more decisive, shouldn't I?
"Yes. But 'should' isn't strictly 'is', correct?"
I suppose...
"Make your own choice. Any choice. As long as it's yours."
...And like that, my own shadow leaves.

I can see as it fades into the light.
The world continues moving around me.
So many lives and paths.
But... None seem right. Not for me, not yet.
So I'm stranded.
In the middle of the Scramble.
Nothing has happened yet, people have simply kept crossing.
...Until the light finally changes to green.
Everyone walks away on their own paths...
But I stay in place.
I see no clear path for myself.
But... I can't stay still, can I?
After all, if I don't, I'll get hit.
I can't bring myself to join my arms.
Like I'm not allowed to.
As I stand there, I see them approaching.
Those cars don't care that I'm standing here.
They're coming through regardless.
...But I can't move.
I don't know where to move.
I have so many ways I could move, but...
...Which one is the right one?
The next day
...
...the next day, isn't it...
Mmm... Head feels better at least...
I guess I did ask for a more blunt dream, didn't I...
If... you can hear me still, thank you.
Guess I wasn't expecting... That part of me, whatever you are, to actually indulge me in that request.
...If you can hear this still, thank you.
...
Still a Kartana.
Hm.
Man now that I think about it...
I did dream about turning into a Pokemon when all this started, didn't I...?
What was it, a Ceruledge...?
...
I guess it wouldn't have been that different, just swap out the flight for being a more normal height.
...and probably swap being weak to fire to being weak to water...
Maybe fire being dangerous is the easier worry to have...
I mean, it already was a risk when I was a- for me before today, right?
Just... Need to be more careful than I already was.
No biggie.
Just... gotta roll off bed and see if that wake me up proper...
...
I... still haven't touched the floor...?
...oh yeah...
Mmm...
Not looking forward to replacing my sheets...
...First things first...
Gotta send Toei that form.
Hope something good'll come from it.
I mean it's fuckin' Toei, they probably have the GDP of a small country just of how much this place watches it alone...
...Shit, an updated picture huh?
Guess it makes sense...
I'll just send them the one I sent mom n dad...
...still an external contractor, no i don't plan on moving to japan soon, previous terms, i can still work but have been somewhat impaired by the situation, yadda yadda...
...There.
Even in creative industries there's no escaping the lull of paperwork...
...And sent...
Alright.
With that done...
I probably should take a bath.
...Can I take a bath?
I mean, I already tested getting water on me earlier and I was fine...
Should just do it.
...
Blades could get that slight grime from last night cleaned off anyway.
Seems to get a bit stuck on the scratches...
I should probably grind those out too...
But not right now.
...
Shower feels massive...
Maybe I'll just use the tub tap instead for now...
Just gotta open up both of those so it's not too hot or too cold...
There.
...Feels nice still...
Dab some soap on my arm, and...
There.
Good to know I can still rinse myself with this...
...
Shit what the hell will I do with all my shampoo now?
I guess I'll keep one of the unopened bottles for guests, you never know after all...
I'll probably tell the neighbors about the rest if anyone could use 'em...
Neighbors, neighbors...
Right. Gotta see about those dummy boxes.
Ed would probably be willing to help if he's not busy...
It's a Saturday, he's probably not...
...
Gotta rinse behind the...
Shit what even are these?
Antennae? Horns? Crest? ...Eyebrows?
Whatever the hells.
At least if I need to get the water out of them I can just flip myself upside down...
...Don't think I can dry myself with the towel, but I do have an idea...
Just gotta...

...
W-well, I guess the cost of that is a slight bit of dizziness, but hey, I seem to be dry now...
Didn't cut up the curtains in the process so another win for me.
I'll shoot Ed a message before I go knockin' on his door, it's still early anyway...
I think I'll have some leftover gyudon from yesterday for breakfast...
...still tastes good, thank god, even if reheated isn't ideal...
Lets see what I can tell Ed...
"Hey, sorry to bother you this early, but I ended up catching the Pokemon thing. I turned into one of the smaller ones and there's some packages I ordered that I... kinda can't take inside now, think you could help me out if you have time? Thanks in advance by the way!"
...should do the trick...
Hm...
Maybe I should get some work done on those clean ups wh-
Huh?
Oh he already replied...
"on my way, which one btw? is it at least from before kalos? kinda lost track of the series after that. i remember thinking those alien things in... was it alola? looking kinda dumb, would suck to be stuck as one." -E
...
"How awfully rude."
"wait actually? shit man didn't mean it, took a 50/50 there and didn't mean to dig at you. sorry it happened, do you at least have hands still for your job?" -E
"Unfortunately, no."
"rough deal huh." -E
"Yep."
"ey, open the door, 'm here." -E
...right, he's only a 5 minute walk or so...
Just gotta... grapple the knob and...
There.
"Geesh man, that you?"
...smees ti oS<
"...huh?"
Ah shit, right, need my phone.
Please understand my gesture despite not having fingers...
"...Need a moment I'm guessing?"
Yep, at least I can still nod.
...just gotta get the app open and...
"Does Translate even have whatever language you're speaking on it?"
.sdrawkcab ...tsuj m'I ,egaugnal rehtona gnikaeps m'I ekil ton s'ti ,lleW<
"Well, it's not like I'm speaking another language, I'm just... backwards."
"How the hell does that even work? Does time move backwards for you?"
.detacilpmoC<
"Complicated."
"Figures. So what'd you order anyway? I came here thinking maybe berries or something but uh... do you even eat?"
...what, the half eaten gyudon not a clue enough?
"Given the disappointed stare you seem to be giving me I assume you can. So what's in here anyway?"
.seimmuD<
"Dummies."
"Several? Why? Are you planning on getting into one of those Pokemon fighting league things already and want to train up?"
.detacilpmoc ,niagA<
"Again, complicated."
"Ok, ok, won't pry if you don't want me to. Let me just..."
"Fuck man what the hell are these things made of? No wonder you couldn't carry them as a little paper man."
.reidruts eb d'yeht derugif ,seno eroc nori emos toG<
"Got some iron core ones, figured they'd be sturdier."
"Sturdier? You don't look like you can punch them that hard..."
.me' tuc nac erus I tuB.<
"But I sure can cut 'em."
"Oh are you one of those that have like, weapons built-in into their bodies? Like... what was the name, Bisharp? Didn't they give that guy a new evo in the newer games? Which part of you is the weapon? You don't seem particularly threatening, you ARE just a piece of origami now..."
.gnihtyrevE<
"Everything."
"Everything?"
.puY<
"Yup."
"Now you're almost tempting me to touch you to call your bluff but... Probably better not to take my chances. Is it fine if I leave these on the couch?"
?ti ekat I nrut em naht rehto wonk uoy elpoep ro sevitaler emos dah ,siht tuoba tnalahcnon yllufwa ...mees uoY .erus ,eruS.<
"Sure, sure. You seem... awfully nonchalant about this, had some relatives or people you know other than me turn I take it?"
"Yep, an aunt and my boss got hit with it. Florges and Watchog respectively. Very fitting for both of 'em honestly, though... I guess they've got an easier change to deal with than you, huh?"
...ecin eb dluow eno rof srefnif gnivaH<
"Having fingers for one would be nice..."
"Well, given you don't seem to be freaking out over deadlines like you do, I'm guessing you have a workaround?"
...nwo ym no pu meht nepo nac ,yaw eht yb sknaht dna ,niaga ward ot flesym gnihcaet tsuJ<
"Just teaching myself to draw again, and thanks by the way, I can open them up on my own..."
"Have you had any issues with the... instincts, thing? I hear a lot of people struggle with that. You haven't killed anyone, have you?"
...thgin tsal xalrons taht htiw thgif a otni teg did i hguohtla ...eltneg yllufwa ...eb ot mees enim ,on ,oN-N<
"N-No, no, mine seem to be... awfully gentle... although i did get into a fight with that snorlax last night..."
"Wait you what? That was you?!"
?em ees you diD<
"Did you see me?"
"Well only really the aftermath, field seemed like 2 tanks had gone at it, I'm... surprised you're not dead frankly. You didn't kill the thing did you? Could've been some other person before turning..."
.semag eht ni ekiL .tuo ti dekconK ...tsuj I !oN !?rof em ekat uoy od lleh eht ohW<
"Who the hell do you take me for?! No! I just... Knocked it out. Like in the games."
"Well, if it's a Snorlax it probably didn't mind going back to dream land... I mean hey, from what I could see you DID help clear up traffic, so kudos for that."
.sknahT<
"Thanks."
"Well, shit, I just looked at the time... I'd love to stay and chat with you about your... predicament a bit longer, but unlike you my boss still fuckin' needs me at the office..."
.em ekil ecnaleerf syawla dluoc uoy ,yeH<
"Hey, you could always freelance like me."
"Yeah yeah, whatever... Either way, have stuff to do, catch ya later man, feel free to give me a call if you need anything else."
!yadot uoy no ysae s'krow epoH !niaga tol a sknaht dna ,gniht eruS<
"Sure thing, and thanks a lot again! Hope work's easy on you today!"
"Here's hopin', take care dude."
...And like that, he's gone.
Guess talking face to face is refreshing...
...Think I'm getting the hang of doing quick audio reversals too, very useful...
...
Well, now to put these all together...