
@djnerdguy 5:32 P.M. 21/7/2018
i dont know if anyone will read this, and i dont know if anyone is interested in me clearing my name. but i think its appropriate that i introduce myself after concealing my identity for so long. hi, im isaac. commonly known as djnerdguy. im 18 years old as of writing this, my GUI "turntable.gui" has officially been scrapped and tucked away from existence.
see to it that im not writing because i seek forgiveness, that i want people to forget what ive done, but rather—i want u guys to acknowledge that i am evenly as human as the rest of u are, and i couldnt carry the guilt on my shoulders more. i dont know what will happen in a year, in 2, in 10 or in 20, but i know that when those years pass my heart will still be heavy with the shame.
i think i know what i really want, i want to see the beauty of life, whether itd be here, or some other place no mortal can access, i want to see how far the universe can take me—dead or alive. i dont know who shares these goals with me but know that i hope i meet u some day. i cant love myself, not today, not tomorrow, i dont think ill ever fully embrace me. when ur soul spiritually looks revolting, u start to look towards things that u cant have.
but at least i can love beauty, in a person, a place, an animal, or an object. doesnt matter, as long as i can tell myself that what im feasting my eyes on is beautiful.
to me, godspeed—wherever u take us in the future, good or bad, ill be proud. and to the rest, i hope u find what u really want. dj out