Drinks for Me and for Thee

Ryusei aimlessly slashed at a training dummy, each hit making a resounding noise throughout the dojo. He took a step forward and delivered a final piercing stab to the dummy. The crushing blow struck the dummy dead on, sending it barreling into the wall.
CRACK
The dummy toppled over after hitting the wall, revealing a massive hole in the dojo.

"Oh... fuck." Ryusei put his head in his hands, letting his sword fall and clatter to the ground.
"...Not paying for that." Ryusei dropped to the ground, sighing. There's got to be a better way to pass the time. Hitting a dummy is off the table. So is breakfast and dinner for the next 2 days, if he does decide to patch up that wall. Maybe a poster'll do instead. Oh well. Ryusei's head has been all fuzzy and full of static, with days blending in with each other and the alcohol he's been drinking tastes way more bitter all the time. To be fair, who drinks cheap alcohol for the taste? Anyhow, that wasn't the issue here. Life has been kind of shit. He sighs and gazes over to his dog, Anko, sitting and panting without a care in the world.

"C'mere boy." Ryusei kneeled down and whistled, arms outstretched towards Anko. The dog bounded towards his owner, barking happily.
Ryusei smiled rubbing his loyal companion's head. At least he had Anko. The bestest boy in the entire world! He stared at his dog. His dog stared back at him. Man. Ryusei needs to get out more. Sure, dogs are man's best friend, but... other people are man's best friend too. Tom Hanks had his coconut, Ryusei had Anko. Just isn't that healthy. When was the last time he interacted with someone for non business reasons? Gotta change that.

"I'll be back, Anko. Just gotta meet up with someone." He ruffled his dog's fur, before standing up and scrounging around for some money. With a few purchases, he'd be broke as fuck. Whatever. He'll bag some villain later. Ryusei shrugged, picking up his wallet and a pack of cigarettes.


KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

No response. Ryusei scratches his head before knocking one more time. This time, he hears rustling beyond the door. Then, the distinct crunching sound of a metal can being stepped on. A muffled voice can be heard through the door soon after.

"Whozzat?" A feminine voice piped up through the metal door.

"It's me, Sugiyama." Ryusei flatly responded.

An uncomfortably pause hung in the air.

"...Caught me at a bad time. My place's nothing short of a pigsty." The embarassed voice broke the silence that lingered.

"Well, ya know me. I didn't have people calling me "The Housework Hero" back in school for no reason." The door creaked open slightly, until it stopped halfway with a thud. A short looking blonde woman stepped out, a dimly lit cigarette in her mouth.

"Mornin', Sanpatchi-dono! How's life?" Ryusei blurted out at the woman, eager to ease the strangely awkward air. On seeing her, he gave her a sheepish grin, holding up a plastic bag filled with goodies. She looks like she hasn't had a wink of sleep in weeks.

"...Didn't know my birthday was today. What brings you 'round here?" Akagi inquired, leaning against the door and raising an eyebrow.

"What, can't check up on my friends?" Ryusei taps his finger against the bag. "Asahi super dry, still ice cold. Some ingredients too, for breakfast, of course." The initial awkwardness fades away as he smiles a bit more brightly.

"Welp. Help yourself." Akagi steps to the side, letting Ryusei step in. As he walks in, she locks the door, and Ryusei takes a look around the, quite frankly, battered apartment home. Cans littered everywhere, trash bags, packages on the floor, smells like alcohol and cigarettes, even a banana peel on the floor. Ryusei whistles before laughing heartily and setting down his bag on a nearby counter.

"We've got our work cut out for us, eh?" He points to the case of Asahi beer, now propped up against a wall. "Ladies first."

"Real gentleman, aren't you?" Akagi takes a can out the case, snapping the top open and having a sip. "That hits the spot." sighed Akagi. Ryusei rummaged through the shelves, taking out a garbage bag and putting in some packages with various labels that were littered about.

"Fuckin' hell, when was the last time you had a homecooked meal?" Ryusei remarked, surprised at the quantity of junk food that cluttered the room. This amount of shit tier food could probably paralyze a hippotamus. If it didn't shit it's brains out first, of course.

"When was the last time I got a break?" Ryusei laughed heartily at her response, throwing another package into the ever expanding trash bag.

"Fair enough. Speaking of, how's your.. err.. Pro Hero... life?" He immediately regreted the words that came out of his mouth.

"..." The silence spoke more than any words could've. He could feel two spiteful eyes burning a hole into him as the words exited his mouth. Read the fucking room, damn it. Quite literally. You're picking up this girl's fucking trash for god's sake.

"Sorry. I know it... it's been shit."

"Well, you can flippin' say that again." Akagi took another beer, cracking it open and slamming it down.
"I was in the big leagues! The jester who was about to hit the jackpot!" Ryusei continued to stuff trash into bags, cracking open a beer and listening intently as he sipped on the ice cold beer. Damn, that shit did hit the spot.

"But, noooo. Apparently, I can't even have that! Every gosh darn reporter and their mother's mother wants to report on every tiny mistake I've ever made in my entire flipping life!" Akagi exclaimed as she leaned back on the slightly crusty couch, rubbing her forehead out of frustration. Ryusei nods, listening along, tying a trash bag shut before beginning to fill another one.

"And it all started off because... cause.. some money bags' ride was parked in the wrong spot! Like, come ON! That's illegal. He broke the law! But, yes, of course, the technicalities, the technicalities. I HAD to pay for that hunk of junk."

"That's such bullshit. Can't believe you had to pay for that shit."

"Yeah, right? It's like..."
The rant continued for a while longer with Ryusei sweeping up whatever residue was left into a finished trash bag, before going over to the sink and washing his hands there. Cannibals, out of context interviews, the whole nine yards.

"...Ugh. Just plot twist after plot twist. My clown nose might as well have been a big darn red target for those journos!" She exasperatedly groaned, taking another sip of the beer along with a drag of her cigarette. Ryusei began to wash a few plates, pans and bowls in the sink.

"Oh, definitely. Those media types are complete vultures! Can't trust a single one of those bastards!" Ryusei spoke up in complete agreement, as he put a ceramic bowl down on a table. Going through his bag, he got eggs, flour, all the ingredients for an okonomiyaki and placed them near the bowl.

"You can say THAT again. They just want their big hit, their next big story. No empathy! And oh boy, I was a content cow cranked by callous companies for cheap cash. Imagine if they all found out their bosses were insane cannibals? Wouldn't be so quick to judge me then, huh." Akagi snorted, switching positions on the couch to be on her side.

Ryusei grunted in agreement. Yeah, pretty much. He took a pan and set it on the stove, turning up the burner.

"Being a hero is a completely thankless job. This job fuckin' sucks, Akagi-chan. I remember the last time someone told me 'thanks for apprehending that guy'. They didn't." Ryusei did his best to sound reassuring as he grated some nagaimo into a bowl of dry ingredients, then folding them into each other.

"Haaah..." She sighed once more. "I like to make people smile and laugh, but it's hard to do that when, one, when life beats you down, and two, people meet you with torches and pitchforks like you're some kind of screwed up clown vampire." As she said that, Ryusei turned around and gave her a concerned look.

"Metaphorically." Ryusei sighed a bit of relief at the response and turned around, frying some pork belly on the pan. He cut up some cabbage roughly, dumping it into the batter along with some tempura scraps.

"Civillians wouldn't get it. They really wouldn't get it. Sure, not all heroes are great. But we really stick out for them, I mean, we don't put our lives on the line for them for no reason, right?" Ryusei chimed in, taking out the fried pork belly and setting it down on an empty plate. He spooned some okonomiyaki batter into the pork fat, letting it sizzle. That smells fucking good.

She shakes her head. "I was doing great. Then the sobering reality hit me. There's some twisted irony in that phrase too, considering, well..." She holds up an empty beer can, tossing it over to the side before grabbing another one. Ryusei laughs, flipping the okonomiyaki onto the other side. He takes out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a puff, and they sit in silence for a few minutes waiting for the okonomiyaki to finish. Once it finished, he sets it on a plate, adding the typical toppings, and finally sliding it over to Akagi.

"Eat up, lemme know how it is." He spoons some more batter into the pan, looking behind him every now and then to gauge Akagi's reaction. She takes a piece with some chopsticks, and shoves it in her face. Must've been hungry.

"Mmm. Well, you're no Osakan chef. But, its good." Ryusei chuckled at her remark, flipping another okonomiyaki in the pan.

"Well, I'm glad it's to your taste. I haven't made some in a while!" He sets the other okonomiyaki on a plate, sliding it over to Akagi.

"Not gonna eat?" Akagi lifted her attention from the food before her to Ryusei.

"Already ate. Don't worry about me." Ryusei smiles while taking a puff of his cigarette, before walking over and opening a window. The two sat in silence for a bit, with her eating and him washing the dirty dishes. Ryusei looked down at his watch once he finished the dirty work. Anko's probably starving, the damn pooch. Sometimes he wished Anko could feed himself, though that'd probably leave a massive hole in his budget. He shuddered at the thought of a Garfield-tier pet.

"Shit, Anko needs to eat. Hey, I'll see you later, m'kay?" Ryusei opened the door, stopping it with his foot. Akagi nodded her head, setting the plates on each other.

"See ya soon..." She took one last sip of her beer, while putting out the last vestiges of her cigarette on an ashtray. Ryusei turned around to face Akagi.

"Oh, and before I leave. For what it's worth, I still think you're a true hero." He coughs into his hand. "If you're hungry, or something like that, gimme a call. I get lonely too sometimes." Ryusei flashed her a friendly smile before letting the door shut. His stomach rumbled after a moment. Good timing. Guess the poster'll really have to do for that wall.

Edit Report
Pub: 09 Apr 2023 10:36 UTC
Edit: 09 Dec 2024 21:06 UTC
Views: 289